Chapter Nineteen
ON HER WAY home Tuesday night, Grace passed Roy’s truck as he drove away from the house. The house was dark, save for a light in the kitchen, where she found an old shoe box on the table. It was taped shut, and she wondered if Roy had brought something over. She set her messenger bag down.
“Reed?” she called out as she headed upstairs. Morgyn had finished the gifts she’d asked her to make, and she couldn’t wait to give Reed his.
As she walked through the master bedroom, she paused by the foot of the mattress, remembering the adoration in Reed’s eyes as they’d made love that morning. His sweet words—How will I make it through a single night without you in my arms?—had plagued her all day, making her warm with emotions and sad about their impending separation in equal measure. Once again, she braced herself for that reality, telling herself to treasure each day rather than ruing the end of them.
She headed out to the veranda, but there was no sign of Reed anywhere other than his truck in the driveway. Gazing out over the backyard, she caught his silhouette down by the creek. How romantic. She tugged off her high-heeled boots, skirt, and blouse, pulled on a pair of shorts and a hoodie, and put his gift in her pocket. She slipped her feet into a pair of flip-flops, feeling light as air after the amazing day she’d had. Nana and the others had come in to help her organize groups of volunteers and create callback lists so they could coordinate auditions and teams to work on different aspects of the play. There was no way they’d be able to pull it off before she left, even with a big group of volunteers, but it was coming together, and that was exciting as hell.
She hurried down the stairs and flew out the kitchen door and off the deck, humming the song “Stupid” by Levi Hummon. She wanted to be stupid with Reed and do crazy-in-love silly things together without thinking about the ramifications. She sang a few words as she neared Reed. He was gazing out at the water, his knees pulled up, the crook of his elbows hooked around his knees, hands clasped. She put a hand on his shoulder, feeling his muscles tense beneath her fingers.
“Hey, handsome,” she said softly, and pressed a kiss to his cheek as she sat beside him in the grass. “I brought you something.”
He turned, and her heart sank at the tortured look in his eyes, the firm set of his jaw. His gift forgotten, she asked, “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing, babe.” He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, one hand on the back of her head, keeping her close. “I’m glad you’re home.”
“Sorry I was so late.” She wondered if that was the problem. It was nearly eight o’clock.
He pressed his lips to her cheek and said, “How did it go? I drove by, but there were so many people there, I didn’t come in.”
“It was amazing. We have volunteers for everything—set building, the cast, we even have the place worked out. The Jerichos were happy to let us use their barn, and there are a group of high schoolers who are apparently really great artists, who volunteered to put together posters and flyers. Morgyn came by, and she’s going to help with costumes, along with a group of Hellie’s friends and some high school girls. Lindsay came with Nana, and I swear those two are a powerhouse. You know how Nana loves to celebrate anything and everything. Lindsay is putting together a whole rebellious-Cinderella theme with decorations and food. It’s going to be amazing.”
One side of Reed’s lips tipped up, but it was a half-hearted smile. “Good, babe. I can’t wait to see it all come together.”
“Me too. Are you sure you’re okay? I’m sorry I was late, if that’s what’s bugging you.”
His hands slid to the nape of her neck, and he touched his forehead to hers. “No, babe,” he said softly. “I’m not sure I’m okay, and it has nothing to do with you or the time. I don’t mind that you worked late.”
“Then what is it? Did something happen? I saw Roy driving away. Are he and Ella okay?”
“They’re fine.” He pressed his lips to hers and sat back, gazing out at the water again. His hands curled into fists, and even in the moonlight she could see the muscles in his jaw bunching. “My…Frank showed up here earlier.”
“Frank…?”
He looked at her out of the corner of his eyes, and the darkness of his stare brought understanding. Her mind reeled with a crazy mix of anxiety and hope. Reed had carried so much anger toward his father, it was no wonder he was acting strange.
“Frank, as in your father?”
He gave one curt nod.
“Here? At the house? Did you guys talk? How was it?”
“No, we didn’t talk,” he said sharply. “That man has no business anywhere near my life.” He pushed to his feet and paced. “Roy tried to warn me, but I was too tied up all day to call him back, and then Frank was here.”
She went to him, but he took a step back, holding up his hand to warn her off.
“I’m sorry, babe, but I’m too tightly wound. I don’t want to take it out on you.”
She’d never seen Reed like this, but she didn’t want to be shut out, and she really didn’t want him to think he was stuck dealing with this alone. She put her finger into his belt loop and pulled herself forward, until they were standing thigh to thigh. His lips curved up, though his eyes remained tortured, and he lifted his gaze toward the moon.
“Gracie, please don’t.”
“Don’t what? Love you?” she said. “Because for me to stay back while you’re hurting, or conflicted, or angry at your father, that’s what would have to happen.”
“I’m so angry,” he said through gritted teeth. “Too angry. I don’t want you to take the brunt of it.”
She wound her arms around his waist and pressed her cheek to his chest, feeling his heart beating fast and hard. “I know. You won’t let me. I’m not worried.”
“Who does he think he is, showing up like that?”
She knew he wasn’t looking for an answer.
“What right does he have to interrupt my life? What makes him think I’d want to see him?”
She eased her grip enough to look up at him. Worry lines deepened along his brows and beneath his eyes. His mouth twisted angrily. And yet somehow the weight of sadness overshadowed all that rage, making her ache even more for him.
“Did he say anything? Explain why he came after all these years? Did Roy offer any clarity?” she asked.
He shook his head and finally put his arms around her, letting out a long sigh before responding. “Roy said Frank had stopped by his place asking where he could find me. Roy asked the same questions you did, but I don’t have the answers. I sent Frank away. In my head, he’s like an infectious disease I don’t want to risk being around. I’m sure that makes no sense. There was a time I would have given anything to have a relationship with him. But that’s gone, Gracie. Maybe it makes me a terrible human being, but I don’t want it. Frank Gilbert does not exist to me. As far as I’m concerned, I’m Roy Cross’s son. I don’t want or need to hear excuses about why Frank’s been absent from my life for all this time. He abandoned me once, and it took forever for me to move past it. Hell, babe. I’m still not past it. He’s not a part of my life. He never was.”
She had so many questions, so many things she wanted to say, but none of them mattered, because she wasn’t Reed. She hadn’t been the child asking Santa for his father’s love or the preteen harboring resentment, curiosity, and hope, all of which went unanswered. And she wasn’t the boy who had to find his way to manhood with all the unanswered questions Reed carried on his shoulders. She was only the woman who had loved him long enough to try to keep those thoughts and questions to herself in an effort to help him heal.