CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO

El

CHRIS HAD WARM hands.

And he talked — a lot.

But I was actually thankful for his talking especially when I could somehow feel Dante’s eyes on my back, watching, calculating.

And still, I could still feel his arms around my body the warmth of his touch and the almost kiss that should have never happened in the first place.

He was dangerous.

Bad for me.

He wasn’t safe.

He was right about everything. That was why I was holding that warm hand and smiling at all the right times and leaning in when it was socially acceptable to get a bit closer.

“You haven’t heard anything I just said have you?” Chris smirked, stopping me in my tracks right in front of my building.

My eyes widened. “Of course I have, I’m sorry I just — it was a long night.”

In someone else’s arms.

My sheets would smell like him.

Oh God what kind of torture was this?

I forced my smile again.

Chris sighed. “I like you, you know that right?”

I nodded weakly.

He smiled, it was a nice smile, and it made me feel cruel for using him in a way that he didn’t deserve.

“Hey,” He tilted my chin toward him, he was good looking, he wasn’t anywhere near Dante’s level of sexual magnetism but he was handsome in all the right places. He was like the model you’d see on an Abercrombie bag shirtless on his way to Harvard.

So why did I want the tattooed bad boy who by all means should be in prison?

“Look at me,” Chris asked softly. “I know I’m not like them—” He stopped himself before saying. “I can still protect you. I can give you what you need, but you have to give me a chance.”

I nodded again.

“Promise me you’ll give me a chance, El. I can’t fight a battle I’ve already lost. Let me take you out next time I’m back in town, all right?”

I licked my lips. “All right.”

His face lit up with a bright smile. “Great.”

Before I could stop him, he’d placed a chaste kiss on my lips, he tasted like coffee and mint.

I didn’t flinch or back away.

But it made me feel somehow — dirty.

That I was once again a pawn in a game I never asked to be a part of, being sold to a side I wasn’t even sure I was fighting with.

He kissed my head next and then he was gone.

I didn’t walk into the building.

I waited.

For the inevitable.

And one minute later, Dante was standing next to me.

We walked side by side into the building.

I went left.

He went right.

There may as well be a chasm of words that separated us.

And yet neither of us reached out and built that bridge, took the words and formed them into sentences that needed to be said.

The moment was lost.

Doors closed.

And I felt sicker in that moment listening to my professor, than I did with Xavier.

And I had no idea why.

Nor was I going to get a chance to.

Andrei walked in a few minutes late, locked eyes with me and took a seat right next to me.

I squirmed a little but tried to ignore him.

“I need to talk to Dante,” he said under his breath.

“Then go find him and talk,” I hissed careful not to look at him.

“You’re prettier to look at.” I could hear the smirk in his tone, as he leaned closer to me, his body heat attempted to penetrate my shield. “Besides, I figure another test is in order — I know I can trust him — but can I trust you?”

I scowled. “I’m just trying to go to school — to rebuild my life.”

“You had a life. A good life,” he said simply. “Xavier gave you everything, you wanted for nothing and he spread your legs every night and gave you more. Don’t be an unthankful bitch.”

Bile rose in my throat. I refused to look at him. He wouldn’t understand. He didn’t value women.

Only money.

And himself.

“Give him this. Don’t read it. I’ll know if you do.” He slid a note onto my desk and returned his attention to the professor.

I snatched the note and shoved it in my bag.

When class was over, I bolted and went in search of Dante.

It didn’t take long to find him — outside.

Cornered by a girl I didn’t know.

Smiling at her like they were familiar.

Jealousy shot through me as I made my way over to him.

His smile fell when he saw me.

He dismissed the girl without saying anything and met me half way, pulling me into his arms. “What happened?”

“Here.” With shaking hands, I gave him the note and tried to reign in my emotions. It was too much, being in his arms, seeing the concern on his face.

He grabbed the note and read; a smile appeared on his face. “You read this?”

“He said not to.”

Dante exhaled. “Good girl.”

“Don’t say good girl, it’s demeaning.” I shoved away from him.

He didn’t let me get far, just grabbed my hand. “Let’s go to our next class.”

We passed Andrei who tilted his head in our direction like I’d passed some huge test.

Once we were out of earshot and on our way to the next building, I whispered. “What did the note say?”

“If she looks afraid instead of jealous — kill her.”

I stopped walking. “Wait, what?”

“Andrei’s girlfriend.” He shrugged. “The girl I was talking to?”

My chest heaved. “It was a set up?”

“Apparently.” Dante drew out the word. “But you passed.”

“I could have gotten killed!”

Dante pushed me against the wall with his body and nipped my ear with his teeth. “You can’t react here, not like that, El. It’s not safe, all right? Freak out in the car or when we get home.” Home. I liked the way it sounded on his lips. “But not here, here you’re Italian royalty all right? You’re with me, in my arms, in my family.” For some reason, my eyes started tearing up. “I won’t let anything happen to you, but that also means you need to be careful how you react, when you react, don’t play the hero.” He backed away.

“Had I read the note,” I finally looked up at him. “Would you have killed me?”

“Yes.” He didn’t hesitate.

I was too shocked to say anything. I wanted to slap him for being such a horrible person while at the same time hug him for being honest. What the hell was wrong with me?

“Let me finish, before you start plotting my death.” He pulled me close again, most likely so nobody could see or hear us as they walked to class. And then his rough cheek rubbed against mine as he murmured low in his throat. “If I didn’t shoot you — they would have shot both of us and most likely tortured you, returned you to the life you fled from. You keep forgetting — they want you dead or returned. So yes, I’d rather kill you than see you with them, then send you back to the pits of Hell with no way to get you back. And I think you’d prefer it that way — because I’ve heard your screams at night, I’ve held your body while you shake trying to get the memory of his hands off of you. I know you. You prefer death. Tell me I’m wrong?”

I was breathing so heavy I thought I was going to pass out. I could only squeeze out, “You’re not.” Before basically collapsing in his arms.

“Inhale, there you go, exhale.” He rubbed my back. “We should get to class, only one more to go, all right?”

I nodded and let him wrap his arm around me as we kept walking.

At least we were talking now.

At least we were touching.

He hadn’t brought up the kiss.

Then again, it’s hard to bring up something so petty — when your life hangs in the balance.

My heart soared with the knowledge of how well he knew me.

While simultaneously breaking with the cold hard fact.

I would never be his.