Daphne was pregnant. With a baby. My baby. And she’d told me she loved me.

Christ.

No matter how hard I tried, I just couldn’t seem to wrap my head around that fact, especially not with my anger toward her hanging around my neck like a goddamn albatross.

I wasn’t sure where I was going or what I planned on doing when I left her house. I spent forever just driving around aimlessly before finally ending up at The Black Sheep.

The place was crowded, seeing as it was a Saturday night, but I still managed to find an empty stool at the bar.

“Hey,” Deacon greeted, sliding a scotch in front of me. “I’m surprised to see you here. Didn’t you just get back into town?”

I swirled the amber liquid around in the glass, unable to bring it to my lips and drink for some reason. “Yeah, earlier today.”

“Figured you’d be shacked up with your secret girlfriend,” he joked. “I mean, that’s still going on, isn’t it?”

I frowned into my drink. “Yeah. I think so. I don’t know.” Finally looking up with a sigh, I admitted, “I’m not even sure anymore.”

Deacon rested his forearms on the bar, giving me all his attention while his other bartenders continued scurrying around filling drink orders. “What makes you say that?”

I rubbed at the two-day growth of stubble that coated my cheeks. “She’s pregnant, man.”

He jerked back in shock. “Oh fuck. And you’re….”

When he couldn’t finish the sentence, I offered, “Yeah. It’s mine.”

His cheeks puffed out with a heavy breath. “Wow. I don’t even know what to say.”

“That makes two of us,” I grumbled. “The real kick in the nuts is that she’s known about it for two months now and never said a word.”

“Wow,” he repeated. “Just… wow.”

I slammed the glass on the bar top with a roll of my eyes. “Think you could find something else to say than just ‘wow’?”

Then he said something that hit me right in the stomach. “You’re going to be a dad, brother.”

I was going to be a dad. Holy shit. I was going to have a kid.

“How do you feel about that?”

How did I feel about that? No matter how many times I asked myself that very question, I couldn’t seem to come up with an answer. It didn’t feel real. It was like I was in some sort of parallel universe, living a life totally different from the one I imagined myself living.

“I don’t even fucking know,” I answered honestly. “I’m too hung up on the fact that she’s known for two months and kept it from me because she was afraid I’d blame her or some shit.” When Deacon didn’t say a word in my defense, I looked from my untouched drink back to him. “What? What’s that face about?”

“Well….” He hemmed and hawed for a bit. “Can you really blame her?”

“Unbelievable,” I snapped. “You’re defending her?”

Holding his hands up in surrender, he spoke quickly. “I’m not defending her, per se. Should she have told you about the surprise bun in her oven? Most fucking definitely. But put yourself in her shoes.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

Deacon didn’t bother with gentle; he simply got straight to the point. “Look at your track record, man. You’ve practically lived the past decade in the gossip rags. It’s not a stretch to think you wouldn’t be thrilled at the idea of being tied to one woman for the next eighteen years.”

“I wasn’t that bad,” I defended, even though I knew he was totally right about everything he’d just said. The look he gave me said that I wasn’t fooling anyone.

“You were, Caleb. Look, I’m not saying your girl’s not at fault here. I’m just suggesting that maybe you shoulder a bit of the burden as well. Have you two even discussed what you are to each other?”

My mouth opened and closed a few times before I was able to answer. “Well, no. Not exactly.”

He took the untouched scotch and dumped it before pouring a glass of water and setting it in front of me. “What does ‘not exactly’ mean?”

“I told her I wanted to be more than a fling.” Then I added that stupid shit about not wanting marriage or kids, all because I was afraid I was pushing for too much too fast.

What a clusterfuck.

“Are you kidding?” he asked with a sarcastic snort. “Oh, well then that changes everything! You want to be more than a fling. How the hell did she not see that as the declaration of love it was intended as?”

Flipping him off, I grunted under my breath. “Okay, I get your point. You don’t have to be an asshole about it.”

Deacon’s face went hard, his tone serious as he spoke. “Listen, I’m not going to tell you whether or not you should forgive her. That’s your call. But the fact is you’re going to have a baby. It’s time to let go of all the shit from your childhood and grow the fuck up. You were dealt a messed-up hand in the parent department, I’ll give you that. You never got to see what a real, healthy relationship looked like. But only you can decide if you’re going to let history repeat itself, or work your ass off to be better than them. And brother, just a word of warning. If I see history repeating itself, I’m going to personally kick your ass.”

My blood heated at the accusation. “I’m nothing like them,” I growled in warning. “I would never treat Daphne or our child that way.” I couldn’t even imagine being the type of father or husband my own dad was. In all the time Daphne and I had been together, never once did I think about going back to my old ways, a different woman warming my bed every night. She was all I needed, all I ever thought about.

If my father felt for my mom even an ounce of what I felt for Daphne, I couldn’t imagine he’d ever turn his sights on another woman. It was unfathomable.

“Then stop moping around my bar and go figure out what the hell you want.”

Figure out what I want.

The bastard made it sound so easy.

The life I’d always imagined for myself had been turned on its head in a second. I hadn’t planned for Daphne to come in and shake up my carefree world, but I’d finally just started to accept the idea of settling down. Hell, I’d even grown to like the thought of having one woman to come home to as long as it was her.

Throwing a baby into the mix had rattled me all over again. I felt like I was turning into a man I didn’t recognize. It wasn’t a bad thing, just a shock. I needed some time to adjust.

Daphne and I hadn’t exactly started on the most stable foundation. You could barely call what we had a relationship. There were so many ways for us to ruin what we’d just started, and that thought terrified me.

But when she told me that she loved me, I could see it in her eyes that she really meant it. And fuck me, but I was starting to believe that maybe I felt the same. The problem was I didn’t have the first goddamn clue what real love looked like. All I knew was that the thought of not having her in my life every single day from there on out was something I couldn’t even bring myself to consider.

I had to tread carefully, because one wrong move and I’d lose her forever. And that just wasn’t something I could live with.