I was close to losing it.

Jaw clenched, I stood in my driveway, my back leaned against Clara’s piece of shit SUV. The engine was running, and the driver’s door was open. Beside it stood my girl and next to her stood her boys and Bella.

The former three were moments away from leaving and I wasn’t handling it well.

They’d been by my side since the moment Isabella and I arrived in Kissler, and I wasn’t ready for them to go. Just thinking about them climbing into their car and driving back across town to the rundown apartment they called home made my gut twist in knots. I hated it, but after coming up with a hundred reasons for them to stay, Clara was hell bent on going home.

The first time I mentioned them staying overnight again, she told me no because the boys had school the following day. The second time I asked, she dug in her heels even deeper and threatened to knee me in the nuts if I kept tempting her.

My girl was firm in her choice but that didn’t mean I couldn’t try to bend her one last time. “Clara,” I said, nodding at my covered front porch. “Come talk to me for a minute, beautiful.”

I needed her out of ear shot of the kids, so I could plead my case.

Reaching inside her car, she switched off the ignition.

She wore a knowing look on her gorgeous face as she followed me to the porch. Once we reached the steps, I turned, giving the kids my back. All three were smart as hell and advanced for their ages. It wouldn’t have surprised me if one of them tried to read my lips while I asked—no, begged—my girl to stay.

Eyes locked on Clara’s, I whispered, “You’re killing me, bella dama.”

Her eyes searched my face before she pressed the back of her hand to my forehead. “You look fine to me,” she said, a smartass smile playing at her lips. “You don’t even have a fever. Therefore, I doubt you‘ll die anytime soon.”

I chuckled. Lifting my hand, I slid my thumb along her jaw in a soft caress that made her eyes slide closed. Over the past couple of days, I’d learned how much she loved having her face, neck and hair touched.

I planned to do all three when I made love to her for the first time.

“Stay,” I said in a simple plea.

“I can’t,” she fired back.

“You can,” I argued. “What’s stopping you?”

Her eyes fluttered open; she blew out a small breath. “All three kids have school tomorrow, and it’s Bella’s first day. She needs all the rest she can get.”

“I’ll make sure she’s in bed on time. That isn’t an issue—”

Clara pressed a single finger to my lips, silencing me. “I want to stay,” she whispered, causing hope to flare in my chest. “But I can’t.”

The same hope immediately died.

“Brantley, we haven’t been apart for more than five minutes since you got here. Don’t you think that’s a little, well, insane?”

“No.” My answer was quick. “I don’t.”

“How do you not?”

“Simple,” I replied, shrugging my shoulders. “I want to spend time with you, therefore I am. There is nothing insane about it.” Her expression remained unsure. “I know you think this”—I gestured between us—“is fast, but Clara, this didn’t just start when I rolled into town. This thing between us has been building for the past nine months. We just never had the chance to act on it until now.”

An emotion I couldn’t read flickered in her eyes, making the hair on the back of my neck stand on end. “Talk to me, Firecracker. What’s wrong?”

Lips thinned into a straight line, she shook her head. “You don’t know how hard this is…” Her voice trailed off as she fought whatever demons taunted her in her head. “You’re right, this has been building for the past nine months. I’ve worked so hard to keep you at arm’s length, but now that you’re in front of me all I want to do is pull you in and never let go.”

Her words were filled with such raw honesty.

It made my goddamn chest ache.

“Then pull me in,” I replied, stepping closer. “I’m right here. All you have to do is say that you want me, that you want us. Just tell me you’re ready.”

She shook her head. “You don’t understand.”

“Then make me understand. Talk to me. I told you I won’t push you into something you aren’t ready for, and I won’t. I gave you my word, and that means something to me.”

“You scare me,” she admitted in a quick confession that hit me with the force of a freight train. As understandable as it was, her fear still gutted me. “I know you won’t physically hurt me,” she quickly added, “but you can shatter me in a way that Colin never did.”

Clenching her hands into fists, she exhaled so harshly her nostrils flared. “And I hate admitting that. I hate it. But you want the truth so here it is. I want to stay with you, and I want to give being with you a shot, but Brantley, I am trying so hard not to fall in love with you that it’s making my head spin.”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why are you trying not to fall in love with me?”

“Because,” she hissed, tears filling her eyes. “I’m scared of what will happen if you decide that you no longer want to keep the heart that you’re planning on stealing from my chest.” Her eyes flitted to the driveway where the kids stood.

The first tear fell.

Then the second.

“And if things end badly between us, if we end up hating each other, I can’t stand the thought of losing Bella. That just”—her body jerked from the sob she was trying to contain—“I can’t handle that. If you take her away, if you don’t let me or the boys see her…”

“I will never,” I said, interrupting her, “take Bella away from you or the boys. I have made my fair share of mistakes in the past where Chastity is concerned but I will not destroy my daughter by taking away the people she loves.” I wiped away her tears with the heels of my hands. “And I won’t destroy you or the boys that way either. I know what losing Bella would to them, Declan especially. I’m not a monster, Clara.”

I’m not Colin.

“I know you’re not,” she said, looking at the ground. “I’ve always known that.”

“How?”

Her head snapped up. “How do I know you’re not a monster?”

I nodded.

Her gaze flitted back to the kids once more. “Because monsters don’t look at other people with love in their eyes. They don’t have that capability. Colin, he never…” She hesitated. “He never looked at the boys or me the way you look at Bella.”

Wrapping a single arm around her lower back, I pulled her close. I wanted to embrace her fully, sealing her body against mine, but I couldn’t. I had no intention of hiding what was going on between us, but I didn’t want to confuse the kids.

They were priority number one.

“Remember how you said that you’re scared to fall in love with me?”

Brows furrowed, Clara looked up at me with confused eyes and nodded.

“Hear me when I say this—fall, beautiful. I’ll catch you.” My fingers caressed her hip where my hand rested. “Trust me.”

“I trust you.” Her bottom lip trembled. “And that’s why I’m falling.”

It was time to say goodbye.

Clara kneeled on my concrete driveway, her arms wrapped around Bella’s waist. “I’ll miss you tonight, Bella Boo,” she said, choking back the emotion consuming her. “But I’m so excited to pick you up from school tomorrow. I’ve got so much stuff planned for us to do once we get home.”

Bella’s chin wobbled. “Promise you’re picking me up?”

My little girl’s insecurities shown bright and clear.

It broke my heart.

Smiling, Clara ran her hands through Bella’s curls. “I do.”

Bella held up a finger. “Pinky promise?”

Clara wrapped her finger around Bella’s. “It’s a pinky promise, princess.”

Hugging my little girl tight, Clara pressed a kiss to her cheek. “Call me before you go to bed, so the boys and I can tell you goodnight, okay?”

Bella nodded. “Okay.”

Clara stood and stepped back.

Declan stepped forward, a frown marring his face. “I’ll see you tomorrow, princess girl,” he whispered a second before Bella launched herself into him, almost knocking him backward.

“I’m gonna miss you sooo much, Dec.”

Bella released Declan long enough to turn and slam herself into Liam. Wide-eyed, he stumbled before righting himself. “To be so little she sure is strong,” he said.

That was the damn truth if I ever heard it. “That she is.”

“I’m gonna miss you too, Liam,” Bella said, looking up at him. “But I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Wrapping a strand of Clara’s hair around my finger, I gave it a soft tug. “Do I get a goodbye hug, Firecracker?”

She smirked, and I knew she was about to toss a handful of sass at me. “Sure, but it’ll cost you.”

“Oh yeah? How about I buy you tacos for lunch tomorrow? Is that payment enough?”

Her eyes twinkled. “Deal.”

Throwing herself into me much like Bella had done with the boys, she wrapped her arms around my middle and rested her head against my chest.

I dipped my head and pressed a kiss to the crown of her head. “I want you to call me as soon as you get home, bella dama.”

She nodded against me before pulling back and looking up. “I will.”

Stepping back, she slid a knuckle down Bella’s cheek and gestured for the boys to get in the car. “Alright, my little delinquents. It’s time for us to go.”

The boys climbed into the backseat of the SUV and buckled their seat belts while Clara jumped in the driver’s seat and shut the door. “Buckle your seat belt, Clara,” I said, my voice stern. “Don’t even play like that.”

With a roll of her eyes, she did as I said. “I was getting to it, Mr. Bossy Pants.”

I’ll show you bossy, I mentally replied.

Giving Bella and me one last wave, she shifted the car into reverse and backed down the driveway. Once on the street, she shifted into drive and rolled down the passenger’s side window. “Bye, Bella Boo!” She hollered. “Love you, princess!”

“Me too!” Declan screamed.

“Me three!” Liam added.

I could only describe the expression that came over my little girl’s face as magical. Throwing her arm into the air, she waved so fast her hand seemed to blur. “Love you too!”

Clara’s eyes met mine as she lifted her hand and blew me a kiss. “Bye, Pretty Boy. I’ll see you in the morning.”

Wearing a smile on her face, she drove off, taking part of my heart with her.