Chapter Twenty-Six
Melody
The Rook’s Roost is filled with energy and packed with vibrant visitors. Literally. There’s a group of drag queens in town, road-tripping down to some convention in Hollywood. They’re dominating an entire corner of the bar, chattering and making the place hum with energy.
“The usual?” Jim asks, seeing me sit down.
I nod, and watch the drag queens while he mixes my drink. One of them is at the head of their table, holding a black-and-white photo of an old Hollywood actress and making a toast to the picture.
It feels good to be back in a place that’s familiar, and so far, no one’s looking at me like I’m the woman who sold herself and spent the last month lying my ass off to everyone who’s anyone on the West Coast.
What did I let myself get into?
And where do I go from here?
I look around, expecting to see judgment, but everyone’s wrapped up in their won lives. Best of all, I don’t see him, even though I know he’s out there, trying to find me.
“Jim, has there been anyone asking about me while I was gone? Or even lately?” I say as he sets my drink down in front of me. I take a sip. It’s good — about ninety-nine percent rum.
He shrugs, casually wiping down the bar. “Some suits. They asked a lot of questions about you, and they got a lot of variations of ‘fuck off’ from me. Alanna gave them the once over, too. I think their balls might still be in her purse.”
I smile a little. It’s good to know I have people behind me. “Thanks, Jim.”
“Don’t mention it. Your business is your own,” he says, giving me a look that says that, even if he’s not going to voice it out loud or spread rumors about it, he knows what I was up to and doesn’t agree with it. “But you should know that Jan — she runs the Hideaway Hotel — was in here earlier and she had some guy check in a couple days ago who was asking about you. I imagine he won’t be the last, either.”
I frown. “Did she get a name?”
Jim shrugs. “No. And you should know, some of the news about you is going to be hitting the local paper, soon. I’ll always be behind you, but I imagine you’ll hear your share of gossip.”
I take my drink and find a booth for myself.
It’s not long before Alice and Alanna arrive. They order and sit down with me.
“How are you holding up, darling?” Alanna says to me, concern evident on her face.
I cast my eyes toward the ceiling. “Is there a word for confused, angry, heartbroken, and dreading the future?”
“Most people just say ‘fine’,” Alice says, putting her hand on mine.
“Yeah, then I’m fine,” I answer, only semi-sarcastic. “Hurt, angry, but fine.”
“Let me order you another round,” Alanna says, already waving to the bar.
I’m not even a third into my mojito, but I’m not going to object.
“So, seriously, what really happened?” Alice says.
“Yeah, why would you leave a man like that? I heard all about your dinner at Gordon’s, and about the two of you in Malibu,” Alanna asks. “It sounded like the two of you were having a wonderful time.”
I stare into my drink for a moment, muddling the lime leaves with my straw. “Nothing. It was fake. It was all lies, all something we invented. Until it wasn’t. And then I ruined it.”
“You ruined it? You, and not the man who’s slept his way around the world and invented at least three different sex acts?” Alanna says.
“Seriously, three? How?” I ask. I’m not surprised. Even now, I feel more than a twinge of heat between my legs just thinking about Julian. He had an incredible tongue, among other things.
Alanna nods. “That I know of. Two of them are pretty innovative, actually. The other is really impractical and takes an excessive amount of candles, lube, and a stepladder.”
“How do you even know this shit?” Alice says.
“I pay attention to the important news and I’m not afraid to experiment. Word gets around in certain circles. Besides, It’s all about keeping an open mind, dear.”
“Among other things you keep open,” Alice chimes in.
“That’s a little reductive. I just know how to enjoy life. And that means keeping yourself open. Unless you’re role playing a nun or something. But the whole chaste nun thing is overrated. It gets old real fast. Unless you have at least two dirty priests to help with the story.”
I sip my drink as the two of them natter on about sex positions and innovation and what you can do with plastic sheeting, a good set of handcuffs, and some of the sturdier fruits.
I’m going to miss them. Even when they get weird.
“— guys, I think I’m going to be leaving town, soon,” I say, interrupting Alanna as she’s partway through a diatribe on the finer points of leash-training a submissive.
“What the hell for?” Alice almost shouts, looking at me like I’m crazy.
Alanna just nods.
“Because right now, even though you guys are great, a lot of people see me different. Or they will. I’m the woman who sold herself, like some kind of prostitute, and it’s just going to get worse. I don’t want to deal with that kind of judgment.”
I don’t tell them about my ex, David. The less they know about that abusive bastard, the better. Hopefully they never even come across him.
“We understand, dear,” Alanna says, putting her hand on my shoulder.
“We do?” Alice says.
“In a small town like this, people judge, people gossip. Who I am in this community is going to totally change. I’m won’t be just Melody the veterinarian anymore. And I can’t face that.”
“So, what are you going to do? Just move?” Alice says. “What about the clinic?”
“I don’t know. You can have it, if you want. Or I’ll sell it. Julian gave me the whole building, so I’ll live off the rent and I’ll find somewhere else to live where I can get away from all this shit.”
“You’re doing the right thing,” Alanna adds. “You have to look out for yourself, do what makes you feel happy and secure. And if that means leaving Rockaway Bay, that’s what you have to do. Don’t feel bad about it.”
“When are you leaving?” Alice says. “When do I have to say goodbye to my best friend?”
“A week. Maybe sooner. Hopefully sooner. However long it takes to figure out all my stuff so it doesn’t all fall apart.”
It hurts seeing the pained look in Alice’s eyes. Another person that I’ve horribly disappointed.
It’s what I do, I guess.
“Fine,” she says. “We’ll figure it out, Mel. Give me a couple days to think about whether I want to manage the clinic or what. It might be easier to just shut it down.”
I know she’s just being practical, but thinking about my clinic closing wrenches my guts.
“I’m going to head home. It’s been a long day,” I say as I get up. I finish my drink as quick as I can. “Have a good night. And I’m sorry, Al.”
I step outside, still dwelling on just how I’ve screwed up my life in so short a time. I’ve gone from heights I never dreamed of to a total free-fall. The only question now is just how far I can fall before I hit bottom and what happens when I do.
Freezing, keys in hand, I stand right by the door to my Fiesta. Shattered safety-glass crunches under my feet. Something tugs at my memory, the scent of a repulsive cologne, a grinning, repugnant face that I’ve tried to forget.
The words Bitch adorn the side of my car, scrawled in the paint.
He’s here.