I stormed back to my dorm room, annoyed that Alex wouldn’t accept my apology. It meant a lot to me that he did. I had a need to be the best in the class, and I couldn’t do that if my professor held a stupid grudge against me. I also had a need for keeping rules, and he was trying to break them left and right. It drove me insane.

I walked into my room with a huff, slamming my bag down on the floor. Carol looked up from the couch to watch me seethe.

“What is it now?” she asked.

“Wanna guess?” I asked.

“Professor Douche Bag?” she asked.

“Bingo. I told you I was going to apologize, right?”

“Did you?”

“I tried to. He was being a nightmare today in class. He kept picking on me when I really didn’t deserve it. I could tell he was absolutely loving it, too.”

“I’m not surprised,” she said, taking a bite out of her apple.

“After class, I went to talk to him. I said all of the right things and was absolutely professional about it.”

“Good,” Carol said.

“Not good. He rejected my apology.”

She furrowed her brow. “Was he mean about it?”

I shrugged. “Not really, honestly. In fact, for a moment there, I could have sworn we were flirting.”

“We?” she said dryly. “You were flirting with him? How did you manage to do that?”

“I don’t know!” I said exasperatedly. “These things just happen with Alex. If you knew him, you’d understand. He just stands there with his stupid smirk on his pretty little face and pokes at you until you attack. Then, you want to apologize for attacking him and make it up to him. He messes with you mind.”

“No, he messes with your mind,” she said, pointing a finger of accusation at my face. “You’re letting him play games with you and he’s clearly winning.”

“I know,” I whined. “What do I do? Originally, I just wanted him to like me because he’s basically my dream mentor. Then, I wanted him to give me an in to the finance world. Now, I want to strip him of his excess confidence and make him suffer.”

I didn’t add the part where I wanted him to take me on his classroom desk, or where I crawled underneath his office desk while he did his best to concentrate on his work. Carol probably wouldn’t appreciate the fact that I wanted to bone him, and destroy him.

“What do I do?” I moaned. “I’m in too deep already. I’m not getting anything done because I can only think about how he’s bested me up to this point.”

She smiled, then smacked her lips. “Do you really want me to tell you what to do?”

“Yes, please.”

“You’re probably not going to like this, but I’m going to tell you anyway. First of all, you need to lighten the hell up. You only have to see his stupid face for a few more weeks. Then, you can forget all about him and leave him terrible class reviews on the way out.”

I gritted my teeth. She was always telling me that I was too uptight. It wasn’t something I liked hearing about myself. I was a very serious person, but I didn’t want to be so tightly wound that people were uncomfortable around me.

“Sounds easier than it’s actually going to be. What about the part where I wanted to make him pay?”

“I can help you with that too. When can you see him next? Is he still in his classroom?”

“No, but he has office hours later today.”

“Perfect. You’re going to march right back in there and demand that he accept your apology. And, you’re going to demand he apologize to you.” She shook her head. “You’re going to go back in there and make him want you so bad, he’ll do anything to have you. Then, after you get your apology, you sashay away, leaving him with blue balls.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to use sex to get what I want. That’s exactly what I was trying to avoid in the first place. How am I ever going to be respected if I use my sexuality as a bargaining tool? I have dreams of making it far. I bet someone like Alex never had to slut it up to get a job.”

“It sounds like he’s used his sexuality to manipulate you,” she argued. “You can’t tell me that he doesn’t flash his winning smile at more women than just you. You’re a smart girl, but you can’t use books to get your way in this world. It just doesn’t work like that. One day, you’ll be a great boss who hires women based on their virtue and intelligence. Until then, you’re going to have to roll around in the dirt with the big boys until you can buy them out of their office. You have to make it to the top before you can burn the whole operation to the ground.”

I sighed. “You’re probably right. I just have no idea what I’m doing. I have no experience with these things.”

“Well, what did you do when you were with your old boyfriends? I know you must have seduced them somehow, or you never would have had sex with them.”

I blinked. I hadn’t really thought about that.

“Well, we usually just sat on the couch together or laid in bed watching movies. Then we would just inevitably end up kissing and taking things further.”

“That’s it? Did you ever do something special to seduce them?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, special lingerie? A sexy little dance? Maybe some naughty text messages to get them in the mood?”

“Uh, not really.”

“This is going to be harder than I thought,” Carol said, rubbing her forehead. “Okay, have you ever been to a strip club?”

“No!” she exclaimed. “You’re saying I should go to his office and take all of my clothes off?”

“No,” she groaned. “I guess I mean more like a burlesque.”

“What’s the difference? Don’t both involve taking one’s clothes off?”

“Not literally stripping, you idiot. Tease him. Look sexy as hell and make him want you. Flirt with him, but then take yourself away from the equation. You’re trying to create a buildup, but without a release.”

I put my head in my hands. “This isn’t going to work. I’m useless.”

“You’re not useless. Let me teach you.”

Carol grabbed me by the hand and dragged me into her room. She went to her closet and sifted through a few things before tossing a short skirt and tight tank top at me.

“Why can’t I wear this?”

“Because he’s already seen you in that today. Besides, there’s nothing appealing about boot cut jeans and a baggy sweatshirt.”

“Wow, thanks,” I said.

“Oh, don’t take offense. I’m just trying to help you. Now, do you want my help, or not?”

“Yes,” I said, feeling sullen and desperate.

“Do you own a pushup bra?”

“No.”

“Borrow mine. Lead with your chest. Men go crazy for that.”

“Okay, what else?”

“Smile and giggle a lot. Twirl your hair around your finger. Touch him. You definitely want to touch him on the arm or the thigh if possible.”

“Got it. Touch him.”

“But don’t let him touch you. He can get close, but pull away right when he tries.”

“You’re telling me too many things. I think I need to take notes,” I said warily.

“You nerd! This should be instinctual. In fact, I don’t want to give you any more ideas. You just need to go with the flow. I’m going to do your hair and makeup, you’re going to put on my clothes, and then you’re going to make him wish he never fucked with you.”

I sat in nervous silence as my roommate gave me a makeover. I tried to remember all the things she told me, but they were jumbled in my mind. I was way out of my league. When I thought too much about it, I forgot how to flirt. I knew I was going to screw things up.

Carol could tell I was nervous. She reached under her bed and handed me a bottle of bourbon.

“It’s the middle of the day,” I said.

“Drink up. You need this.”

I obliged, taking a swig of the burning liquid. I passed it to Carol, who took a sip as well. She handed the bottle back to me for another drink. A few minutes later, I was feeling pretty good. I wasn’t nervous at all and I was kind of excited to talk to Alex. I was feeling sexy and seductive, thanks to the booze and the makeover.

“I think you’re ready,” Carol said, a proud look on her face.

“I think I might be, too,” I said quietly.

“What are you waiting for? Get out there!” she laughed.

I took a deep breath and one more drink. Then, I headed back toward my classroom to get back at Alex, once and for all. I had no idea what I was doing, but I was going to try anyway.