“I’m meeting Natalia and my mother for lunch today,” Alexander reluctantly said the next morning.

Isobel sat opposite him, her hands wrapped around a cup of coffee. “I’m behind on a whole load of paperwork,” she said, giving him a languid smile. Her face was relaxed, and he wasn’t sure it would be humanly possible to drag himself away from her. He watched her as she absentmindedly studied the headlines on a leaflet. She had on a simple T-shirt today. The makeup was gone, the sexy dress packed away. He liked her even better this way. The things he had experienced in this apartment … What they’d shared … It was a completely unique experience.

He had done things with this woman that he’d never done before. Strange how closely linked to her he felt now.

He got up, rinsed his mug, and poured her more coffee from the machine.

“I’ll call you later,” he said, bending down to kiss her. She wrapped her arms around his nape, and he pulled her tightly to him. God, he didn’t want to go, wanted to stay here and kiss Isobel, make love, ignore other people’s expectations. But he had promised Natalia.

He walked down to Fotografiska, the Swedish Museum of Photography; arrived early, grabbed a table in their fancy restaurant, and immediately lapsed into thoughts of sex and Isobel.

“God, you look serious,” Natalia greeted him.

Alexander looked up. He had been so deep in thought that he hadn’t even noticed his sister arriving.

He stood up, gave her a hug, and then pulled out a chair for her.

“Mom is just parking the car. She’ll be here soon.”

“Parking? I didn’t even know she could drive.”

“I told you, she’s changing. Please, Alex could you try? Just a little? To not be so mad at her?”

He groaned. “Can we please talk about something else?”

“Sure.” Natalia smiled innocently. “How are things with Isobel?”

Christ, he should have known she would move on to that topic.

“Why are you asking?”

She surveyed him carefully. “You were down in Skåne together. And you seemed pretty affectionate at the wedding. I wasn’t the only one who noticed. Quit stalling and tell me, are you together or not?”

Were they together, he and Isobel? Truthfully, Alexander had no idea, only knew that what he felt for her was starting to resemble an obsession. But he didn’t want to talk about Isobel, not with his nosy big sister. It was too private. Natalia would just sink her teeth in and start to rave about how he had to dare and a load of other carpe diem crap he didn’t want to hear.

And then she surprised him by gently saying:

“You’re so smart, Alexander. Don’t you want more than empty-headed bimbos and constant partying from life? For your own sake?”

He had never told Natalia that he worked in New York. Why? It was getting harder and harder to see the logic in that decision. But he had started to create distance between them at some point, and it had been easier to just continue that way. It was long past time to talk to her. Tell her what he had built up back in New York. It was deeply selfish to keep her in the dark. So what if she felt proud and told Mom, and everyone found out and he had nothing to hide behind anymore? He would just have to cope without his reputation as a playboy and a player. Was it so dangerous? Wasn’t he strong enough to carry a few expectations on his shoulders? He forced back a wave of panic when words like responsibility and adult began to dance in front of his eyes.

Were things moving too fast? Was he about to get tangled up in something far too complicated? And what did Isobel want from him? Could a woman like that ever take a man like him seriously? In the long run? Was he good for anything other than crazy-good sex?

“Here’s Mom,” Natalia said as she raised her hand in a wave.

Alexander sighed but adopted as polite a face as he could. He suspected this lunch was part of Natalia’s plan to bring him and Ebba closer together, so he would try to keep the hostilities to a minimum.

Their mother came toward them, swaying elegantly between chairs, pastel colored, slim and smooth. When Alexander was a boy, he’d thought she was the most beautiful woman on earth. Today, he could see the coldness and self-centeredness that her beauty didn’t quite manage to hide. And he was glad she was no longer an important-enough person in his life to be able to hurt him.

That was what people didn’t understand when they talked about closeness and intimacy as something desirable. Only if you cared about someone could you get hurt. Only if you loved someone could being abandoned crush you completely.

He stood up, gave his mother a brief nod, and then pulled out a chair for her, without offering a hug or a kiss on the cheek, even a shake of the hand. He could make an effort for Nat, but there were still limits.

“Thank you.”

Ebba sat down without a word about his lack of warmth, as though she was eager to keep him in a good mood. Well, that was at least a welcome change.

“I don’t think I’ve been here before,” she said.

“No, it’s on the wrong side of town. I guess you don’t normally come over here,” he drawled.

Natalia gave him a warning look. Ebba simply smiled and placed her napkin on her lap. She must have done something to her face. It was smoother than normal, not a wrinkle in sight though she was nearing sixty.

“I’m not quite as uneducated as you think,” she said amicably.

“But Mom, even I’ve been here before.”

“Anyway, I’m happy Natalia suggested it. It’s good to try new things—that’s what I’ve always thought.”

That statement was so out of character that Alexander wasn’t sure he had heard her correctly.

“And I’m happy the three of us could meet,” she added.

“Peter couldn’t come,” Natalia added hastily.

Thank God for that small mercy at least. Alexander wasn’t sure he could make it through lunch with his mother and his brother without exploding. Was Peter even in touch with Ebba, or was that just wishful thinking on Natalia’s part? He glanced at his mother and sister, talking in low tones about what they would order. He had to admit that it felt a little strange that Peter was frozen out of the entire family. It was one thing that he couldn’t stand his brother, but the idea of their mother freezing him out felt heartless, even for her.

“I hear you’ve been spending time with Blanche Sørensen’s daughter,” Ebba said as they were brought bread and water.

Alexander glared at his sister.

But Natalia shook her head, mouthed a firm I haven’t said a word.

“We’ve met a few times.”

“Is she nice?”

“Lay off, Mom,” he said sharply.

“I’m just making conversation. Isn’t that allowed?”

“Not about things that have nothing to do with you.”

Ebba blinked rapidly, and he saw her eyes turning shiny. “I don’t understand why you’re always so mad at me,” she whispered, her voice trembling, and Alexander knew she really meant it. Ebba really didn’t understand. The anger he felt was so goddamn pointless. She was who she was. Maybe it was too late. Maybe it had always been.

“Please,” Natalia said, giving him another pleading look.

He bit his tongue, drummed his fingers, and looked away. He knew he was about to ruin this lunch for her. But didn’t Nat know that was what he did? He hadn’t asked her to have these expectations of him. If she had them and was disappointed, she only had herself to blame.

Or was he only justifying his own bad habits?

He nodded that he understood.

He couldn’t love his mother, but for Natalia’s sake maybe he could stop hating her.

Maybe.

“Shall we order?” Ebba looked at him. The pale face he had once loved studied him with an appealing look. She wasn’t smooth at all, he could see that now. Wrinkles around her eyes and mouth betrayed her age after all. She had abandoned him, over and over again. Manipulated him, lied to him, always put herself first, to the detriment of him and his siblings—her own children. But all the same, she was only human.

He gave her a light pat on the hand.

“We’ll order, Mom.”

He smiled at Natalia, who blinked violently several times.

Thanks, she mimed.

And it did actually feel as if another weight had lifted from him.