BRINGING NOAH HOME
A FATAL SERIES SHORT STORY
AVERY HILL TOOK his coffee upstairs to take one last look at the room next to the master bedroom, making sure everything was ready. He’d come home after spending the night at the hospital to shower, change his clothes and pick up the infant car seat they needed to bring the baby home. He and Shelby had spent the summer decorating the nursery in soft yellows and grays, colors suitable for a baby boy or girl. She had wanted the baby’s sex to be a surprise, and Avery had been more than happy to go along with whatever she wanted.
A boy. The baby was a boy she’d named Noah, and today he’d come home to the room with the life-size baby elephant that Avery had seen in a store window and had to have for the child he would raise as his own.
They’d done the math and determined there was no way the baby could be his biological child. He’d been conceived before they got together, while Shelby was undergoing IVF treatments with the assistance of a fertility clinic. For a time they’d thought it might be possible, but now they knew otherwise.
It didn’t matter, though. He already loved Noah as much as he could possibly love a child he’d fathered. And he loved Noah’s mother with his whole heart and soul, which was why the events of last weekend had been so devastating.
He’d said the wrong name while having sex with the woman he loved—and not just any wrong name but the worst possible wrong name. He’d paid a big price for that mistake ever since. Shelby had packed a bag and left his house, the home they’d shared for months now, and gone God knows where. Most of her stuff was still here, and if he had his way, she and her things would be staying where they belonged.
She’d had the baby without him by her side as they’d planned during months of birthing classes. Only when a nurse had taken pity on him had Shelby allowed him into her room to see her and Noah.
She had agreed to bring the baby home to Avery’s house. Everything they’d bought for the baby was here. It would be silly for her to go elsewhere. But just because she’d conceded that fact and agreed to come here, that didn’t mean she planned to stay. Her joy over the baby was trumping everything else at the moment, including the anger and hurt he had caused.
Avery wasn’t under any illusions that the crisis had passed and knew they faced a long and difficult road in getting things back on track between them—if the damage he had done could be fixed, which was a very big if at this point.
His cell phone rang, and he took the call he’d been expecting from his personal physician. “This is Avery. Thanks for returning my call.”
“No problem. What can I do for you?”
“I need a recommendation for a therapist who specializes in couples. Someone I can count on for complete discretion.” The last thing he needed was his work finding out he was in therapy—or why it had become vitally necessary.
“Sure, I can send you a few names. Is everything all right?”
“Not at the moment, but hopefully, it will be in time.”
“You know how to reach me if I can help.”
“You already have.”
“I’ll send an email to your personal address.”
“Thank you.” Avery waited for the message and opened it when it popped up ten minutes later. He chose the first name on the list, a woman, and placed the call. Ten minutes later, he had an appointment for next Tuesday. He’d wanted that done before Shelby came home so he could tell her he was taking steps to fix what was wrong with him.
Now he could only hope she would stick around long enough for him to make amends for his horrific mistake. The alternative didn’t bear consideration.
* * *
SHELBY SPENT THE MORNING learning how to bathe her new son and met with the lactation specialist, who declared her a breast-feeding machine. Watching Noah latch on to her nipple ranked among the most amazing things she’d ever experienced. The nurses said he was a good baby. He ate, slept and pooped exactly the way he was supposed to, which was a huge relief to his mother.
His mother. She wanted to giggle with the sheer joy that came from a title she’d once thought would never apply to her. At forty-three years old, she had finally made that dream come true.
Almost a full day after his arrival, Shelby still couldn’t believe he was hers and she got to keep him forever. She carefully dressed him in the outfit she and Avery had chosen to bring him home in. Thoughts of Avery set off a dull ache inside that muted her joy, so she pushed those thoughts, along with worries about the job she’d impulsively quit, to the back of her mind. There’d be time to deal with Avery and her job situation later.
For now, her entire focus was on her son, who looked up at her with big trusting eyes. He couldn’t see her quite yet, but he could hear her, and he reacted to her voice by moving his arms and legs. Maybe he just had gas, but she liked to think he recognized her voice and knew she was his mother.
She sensed Avery had arrived before she actually saw him. The small hairs on the back of her neck tingled and her heart raced the way it always did when he was around, as if the rest of her body hadn’t gotten the memo that she wasn’t happy with him.
He’d showered and shaved, and the familiar scent of his cologne made her want to lean in close to him, as if he hadn’t broken her heart and ruined everything they’d built together.
He held up the basket portion of the infant car seat. “Ready to load him up, darlin’?”
Her insides went soft at the sound of his voice, the sexy Southern accent and the endearment. And then she remembered what he’d said in their bed, and everything went cold, making her shiver as the ache in her chest intensified. “We’re ready.”
“May I?” He gestured to the baby, who looked up at them with those big eyes, seeming to take it all in, as if maybe he knew nothing was the way it was supposed to be.
Shelby nodded and watched as Avery put the seat on a nearby table and then gently slid his big hands under the tiny body to lift him from the bassinet.
“Hey, buddy,” Avery said, his voice soft and reverent, his attention focused completely on the baby. “You ready to go home?”
One of the nurses came into the room, and Shelby noticed the way she checked out Avery, as if she couldn’t resist taking a good long look.
By now Shelby was used to the way other women reacted to him. He drew their attention without even trying, but all of his attention—or so she thought—had been on her, so it never bothered her that others looked at him.
“I’ve got your discharge paperwork,” the nurse said. She went over the instructions, what to watch for in herself and the baby, the number to call if there were any questions or problems, and an appointment slip for a follow-up with the pediatrician next week. “You’ll need to schedule an appointment with your doctor around the six-week mark.”
“Thank you.” Shelby gathered up the stack of papers and folded them in half to tuck them into her pink purse.
“The only thing we need before we can discharge you two is the completed birth certificate.” The nurse handed her the paper she’d put off completing because she hadn’t made any decisions yet about the baby’s last name or whether she still intended to list Avery as his father.
She looked up to find him watching her, his golden eyes intensely focused on her as he cradled Noah in the crook of his arm.
“Could we have a minute?” he asked the nurse.
“Of course. I’ll be back.”
When they were alone, he stepped closer to where she sat, perched gingerly on the edge of her bed in deference to her many aches and pains after giving birth.
“I may not have any right, not anymore...but no matter what happens between us, I swear to you, Shelby Lynn, I will always love and care for this little boy. He will never want for anything. Not if I can help it.” She could hear the emotion in his voice and see it in the way he never blinked as he looked down at her. Though she might have her doubts about where things stood between them, she had no doubt whatsoever that his intentions toward her son were sincere.
She swallowed hard and filled in his name—Noah Faircloth Hill—and listed Avery Hill as his father.
When she was finished, she stood and ventured a look up at him.
Blinking back tears, he said, “Thank you, darlin’.” He put his free arm around her, drew her into his embrace and kissed the top of her head. “I’ll make sure you never regret that.”
“Let’s take him home now, Avery.”
* * *
MUCH LATER THAT NIGHT, Shelby stood watch over her sleeping son, noting the way his chest rose and fell, how his lips pursed in his sleep and his fingers gripped the lightweight blanket that covered him. Everything about him fascinated her.
Avery came up behind her, placed his hands on her shoulders and massaged them lightly. “Remember what they said in the classes. You’re supposed to sleep when he does.”
“I don’t want to miss anything.”
His soft chuckle made her smile. “It’s going to be a long eighteen years if you’re going to watch his every move.”
“He’s so perfect, isn’t he?”
“He sure is. We got lucky.”
Shelby was so tired she couldn’t resist leaning back against him, even though her better judgment told her he was the last person she should lean on.
He wrapped his arms around her and for a moment everything was as it should’ve been. Until she remembered how badly he’d hurt her.
She straightened and stepped out of his embrace. “I’m going to take a shower. Will you listen for him?”
“Of course. Take your time.”
In the shower, Shelby stood under the hot water, letting it soothe her aching body. If only it could do the same for her aching heart. She hadn’t called her parents or sisters yet to tell them Noah had arrived. They’d come running to her and would be able to tell with one look at her that something was terribly wrong. She couldn’t deal with that on top of everything else, so she’d put off calling them even though she wanted them to meet her son.
Tomorrow. She would call tomorrow, tell them how fast it had happened and apologize for not calling sooner.
She stepped out of the shower, wrapped a fluffy pink towel around her body and went through the motions of drying her hair and getting dressed in loose-fitting pajamas. This must be what it feels like to walk through quicksand, she thought, the weight of her aching heart dragging her down as she tried to function as if everything were normal.
The baby’s bassinet was in the master bedroom, but did she intend to sleep there with Avery? She was too tired and overwhelmed to make any big decisions, let alone one as important as what to do about him. Steeling herself to face him, to deal with the elephant in the room—and not the ridiculously large stuffed one he’d bought the baby—she left the bathroom and went into the bedroom, where he gazed down at Noah with as much awe as she felt.
Witnessing his adoration for the baby, her heart softened toward him. “Everything okay?”
“Everything is perfect.”
“No, it isn’t.”
His shoulders stiffened in the second before his gaze met hers.
“I don’t know how to pretend,” she said.
He came around the bed to her, took her hand and guided her to sit with him. “I want you to know I’m starting therapy next week. Something is clearly wrong with me if I can make the kind of mistake I made last weekend and hurt the person I love most in the world the way I hurt you. I’m determined to figure out what’s wrong so I can fix it, Shelby.”
Surprised and pleased, she said, “That’s... I’m glad you’re doing that.”
“I want you to know that despite the evidence to the contrary, I do not love her. I do not think about her that way. Not anymore. I swear to God. I swear on Noah’s life that the only woman I love is the one sitting right next to me, the one I live with and sleep with and share a child with. I love you and only you, and for the rest of my life I’ll be sorry for the way I’ve hurt you twice now.”
Shelby brushed at the tears that spilled from her eyes. She wanted so badly to believe him. That he was going to therapy was a big step in the right direction, but would it be enough?
“Tell me what you’re thinking, Shelby.”
“I want to believe you.”
“You can. I swear you can.”
“I know you mean that, Avery. I don’t doubt for a second that you feel bad that you hurt me.”
“I feel horrible. I’ve never felt worse in my entire life than I have the last few days. I hate that something I did took away from your joy in welcoming Noah. I hate that I couldn’t be with you when you had him. I hate everything about what I did. All I can tell you is I didn’t mean it, I wasn’t thinking about her, and I have no fucking clue why I said her name. If someone told me right now that they could set me up with a witch doctor who would cast a spell on me that would make it so I never gave her another thought for the rest of my life, I’d say yes, please.”
Shelby laughed even though this was anything but funny.
“I mean it, honey. I hate myself for what I’ve done to you and to us.”
She leaned her head against his shoulder and let him wrap an arm around her. “I know.”
“It’s too much for me to expect you to ever forgive me for this, but I hope that maybe somehow we can put it behind us and go forward together. We have so many plans.”
Including their plan to quietly get married after Noah arrived. In her former life as a wedding planner, Shelby had organized thousands of weddings. She had no desire to oversee one more even for herself, and his idea of a small intimate ceremony and celebration at home had seemed perfect to her.
Now that, like everything else, was up in the air.
“Tell me what you need me to say or do to make this right, and I’ll do it. Anything, Shelby.”
“I think what we need more than anything is time to figure out where we stand. I’m a jumbled mess of hormones and emotions. This is no time for me to be making any big decisions.”
“I’m fine with that. Take all the time you need, but will you please, please take your time here where you and Noah belong? This is your home. I’ll leave if you want me to, but you guys should be here where you have everything you need for him.”
“We’ll stay here, and you don’t have to leave. We can’t work out anything if we’re not together.”
His body sagged as all the air seemed to leave his lungs in one big whoosh. “Thank you. For allowing me to be his father, for bringing him here, for giving me another chance when I certainly don’t deserve it.”
“You deserve it, Avery.” She took a deep breath and tried to get her thoughts together when they were all over the place. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what happened and trying to put it in perspective with everything else we’ve been through together. Other than this situation with...with Sam, you’ve been so amazing taking on a woman pregnant with a child that isn’t yours and loving us both. You’ve been excited about him for months, buying him stuff like that ridiculous elephant.”
“He needed that.”
“He needs you. I need you.”
He crushed her to him and found her lips in a desperate, needy kiss.
She clung to him, letting him sweep away their troubles with each stroke of his tongue. After many minutes, she slowly withdrew from the kiss.
“I love you, Shelby Lynn. I love you and I love Noah. If you don’t believe anything else I ever say, please believe that.”
“I do. I believe it, but Avery...I can’t go through this again. It can’t happen again.”
“It won’t. I swear to God it won’t. I’ve been thinking about putting in for a transfer to get out of here if that’s what it takes.”
Shelby closed her eyes and relaxed ever so slightly. They weren’t entirely out of the woods yet, but he was saying and doing the right things to get them back on track. And when the time was right, she would apologize to Sam for blaming her for something that wasn’t her fault and ask for her job back.
“This is our home,” she said. “I want Noah to grow up near family, and he can’t do that if we’re somewhere else. I don’t want to run away. I want to fix what’s wrong and move forward.”
He pulled her in close to him and held her there, her head on his chest, his arms wrapped around her. “Then that’s what we’ll do.”
* * * * *
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