Chapter 18
Matt
“I’m the biggest asshole on the planet,” I tell my grandpa, the only person who will listen to me whine like this right now. I fucked up and I know it. But Aidan won’t answer his phone and Cadence doesn’t want to hear it, I’m sure. Her sister is probably married already and I missed the whole thing.
Definitely the biggest asshole on the planet.
“Son,” he says for the fiftieth time today. “You got hit with some hard news. You needed some space to process. Cut yourself some slack, will ya?”
“It’s more than that.” I slump forward in the chair, put my elbows on my knees, and lean my head against my hands. “I blew her off all day. I could have at least told her that I’d be late.”
He pretends to check a watch on his wrist, though he hasn’t worn one since he’s been here. “I’m not sure ‘late’ is the word for it at this point.”
“Exactly,” I moan, grabbing fistfuls of hair and tugging.
After a few moments of silence, he asks, “And you’ve really told her nothing at all?”
I shake my head while staring at the floor. His gaze will cut straight through me if I look at him.
“Matty, you done screwed up,” he says, slapping a hand on my back. “But all hope isn’t lost.” Then he taps my shoulder.
When I lift my head, he’s pointing to the door, so I twist to see what’s there. Then I have to blink and rub my eyes. Maybe I’m dreaming. Maybe I was too drunk to drive here and still have lingering effects from the beer. Or maybe I died and went to heaven—though that one seems unlikely.
No, this must be real. Cadence must actually be standing in the doorway. Staring at me like she’s seeing me for the first time.
It’s confirmed when my grandpa says, “You must be Cadence, aren’t ya?”
In a killer dress that shows off all of her amazing curves and makes me wish I’d gotten my shit together to spin her around on the dance floor, she nods. “And you’re Matthew’s grandfather.” As she waves to him, the fringe at the end of the shawl around her shoulders sways.
My name on her lips hits me square in the chest. My heart skips a beat, and I rise from my chair. Then she looks at me and my entire world flips upside down.
“May I come in?” she asks so politely.
I wave her inside, but she points to my grandpa.
“I was asking him.” A light, airy smile tilts her lips up.
“A pretty girl like you don’t gotta ask me nothin’.” He pats his chest as though his heart aches as much as mine does. “Come on in, sweetheart. Make yourself comfortable.”
Quickly, I offer her my chair, and once she’s sitting, I slip my fingers under the shawl as if to ask if she wants me to take it. She shrugs it off, and I set it on the table next to my grandpa’s bed.
“How did you know I was here?” I ask, folding my arms over my chest as I take up residence at the end of my grandpa’s bed.
“Is that really the most important question to be askin’ right about now?” he says before coughing into his hand. He reaches for a tissue, but his hand doesn’t quite make it to the box.
Cadence removes a tissue from the box and hands it to him, all gentle movements and kind gestures. “My sister apparently moonlights as a detective,” she explains, crossing one leg over the other. “She got your name from the company you work for, which sounds illegal or something. And then a nice young woman named Randi at the front desk was polite enough to tell her that you were here.” Then she flicks her gaze to me. “Though I think that’s because she has a crush on you and got caught up by hearing your name.” She raises an eyebrow at me, one side of her mouth curved up.
I put my hands up in a surrender gesture. “That’s never happened,” I assure her. “I’m just charming like your sister must have been on the phone.”
The other side of her mouth joins the party and tips up. Her smile is beautiful. Everything about her is beautiful. And I was a fool to have blown her off today. I can only hope and pray that she’ll understand why I needed that space.
“So you look like you’re goin’ to a wedding,” my grandpa comments, moving the conversation along. “Wasn’t that tonight, Matty?”
Cadence’s eyes light up when my grandpa uses my nickname. But she schools it away and focuses on him to answer his question. “It was. That’s where I came from.”
My heart squeezes. I knew that already, but to hear it from her hurts. “How was it? Is it over?” I ask, gripping the side of my grandpa’s bed.
“It was beautiful,” she says, her eyes shining. “And they’re still dancing. My sister and Paul will probably be there for another hour or so.”
“I’m so sor—” I start to say.
But she stops me with a hand in the air. “We’ll talk about that later. Let’s visit with your grandfather. Matty.” She winks at me.
“Yes,” my grandpa says. “Let’s visit with me.” He chuckles, which leads to another coughing fit. He uses the tissue to wipe his mouth. “And I know just what we should chat about.”
“What’s that?” I ask him, straightening up to my full height.
“I think Cadence and I should have a chat about you.” His head swivels toward me, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “Alone.”
∞∞∞
Cadence
Matthew meets his grandfather’s suggestion with some resistance, but I wave him out of the room and assure him I’ll be okay. Once his grandfather and I are alone, he reaches for my hand.
“I’ll let him tell you what happened this morning,” he begins, “because that’s his story to tell. But I can tell you what happened when he got here because that involves me, and I think you should know.”
I nod and work the knot in my throat down by swallowing.
“When he got here, he was a mess. She messed him up again real good. But I get the sense that it’s over now, and I’m a good judge o’ character. Can’t get nothin’ past me.” He winks at me in a way that reminds me of Matthew and shows me where he got the habit from.
It makes me smile. And wonder how much he really knows. Maybe he’s not as blind to the truth as Matthew seems to think.
“So I’m gonna need you to forgive him for messin’ up today and not gettin’ to the wedding.” He pats my hand with his other one, his tissue forgotten on his blanket. Then his solemn expression morphs into amusement when he says, “But then I’m gonna need you to keep his ass in line after today.”
We both chuckle at that, which lightens the mood even more.
“He’s had a rough day, and disappointing you has made it even worse,” he tells me, reaching for a new tissue.
I take another one from the box and hand it to him.
He wipes his nose with the tissue. “I think that’s what’s eatin’ him up the most at this point now. Knowin’ that he let her get inside his head and mess the day up for you. He can reconcile what she admitted, but he won’t forgive himself for hurting you.”
“I can only imagine what she said to him this time,” I utter, fury over her hold on him boiling in my veins.
“He told you about before, then?” he asks. After another cough into his tissue, he says, “Well, this is the end of it. I’m certain. So help my boy heal and move on, will ya?”
“I plan on it if he’ll let me,” I assure him, covering our hands with my free one.
“Oh, he won’t,” he stresses before chuckling. “So you have to make him. I think he’ll listen to you. You have what no one else he’s met has.”
My brow furrows as I wonder what he’s talking about. “What do I have?” I ask.
A slow smile builds on his face. “Strings,” he says, and my heart skips a beat. “Strings he wants but isn’t sure how to ask for. He’s a stubborn one, that boy.”
We both break out into laughter. That much is very true.
“We both are though,” I admit, feeling like I can talk to this man about anything. “Because I want those strings, but I want to be me too.”
“Ah, yes. He told me about that.” He squeezes my hand in a tight grip. Tighter than I thought he was capable of. “But you can do both, you see. It takes time to figure it out, but you can have both with him. He won’t let you lose yourself.”
This time, his wink seals the conversation and sinks into my soul. The depth of truth in his words rings out in a way that feels real and right. As long as we communicate and tell the truth, we work. As long as we’re honest and open, we work. It’s when we start lying to each other—or ourselves—that we go wrong and everything goes off the rails.
Matthew won’t let me lose myself. He’s always given me space to be me. He’s never complained about my schedule, how much I work, or that I’m too busy. In fact, he’s admired how dedicated I am to what I do. And I’ve made time for him when I can. In the cracks of my life. If he’s okay with that, then I think his grandfather is right.
But there’s one more thing I need to do while I have him alone. “Hey, can I ask you something?”
“Well,” he says, gesturing a hand around the room, “it’s not like I can stop ya.” After another wink, he grins. “Go for it. What’s on your mind?”
I smile at his antics, but then I get serious. “That teal and amber glass. You make that?”
His grin slides from his face, but he schools it back before too long. It takes him a moment to answer me though. “Used to. Why do you ask?”
Fidgeting my free hand in my lap, I avoid his gaze until I start to speak. “I kind of broke one at Matthew’s place. I was hoping to replace it.”
“Ahh,” he says slowly. Then he raises a single finger. “I can take care of that.”
I release a sigh of relief. “I’m so glad. Thank you!”
“That’s a pretty smile you got there,” his grandpa says. “I think my boy out there is anxious to see it again.”
Before I get up, I give his hand a squeeze. “Thanks.”
“Any time,” he says. Then he gives me one more wink.
∞∞∞
Matt
“God, that was painful,” I say under my breath as I reenter the room and make my way back to the far side of my grandpa’s bed.
Cadence takes her seat again and laughs me off. “It was wonderful, actually. Your grandfather is an amazing man.”
“Truer words have never been spoken, my dear,” he says from his bed, a smartass smirk on his face.
It warms my heart to see them getting along so well, but I also want to know what the hell he needed to say without me in the room.
“Don’t even try it. I’m not gonna tell ya.” He sits up a little, and Cadence helps him with putting pillows behind him. “Thanks, sweetheart,” he says to her. Then he looks at me again. “Now, son, we need to have a conversation.”
Cadence starts to rise from her seat, assuming that this is another “alone” conversation he wants to have. But he stops her, tugging on her hand for her to sit back down.
“No, dear.” He pulls her hand closer to him. “You should be here for this one.”
She gives me a wary smile and then a shrug, indicating that she doesn’t know what this is about. And I don’t, either, so I’m a little worried too. He’s not known for always being appropriate.
My grandpa clears his throat. “Matty. Do you remember when you told me about Cadence? That very first time about a year ago?”
I gulp and flick my gaze to her. She’s pursing her lips to hide her grin, because whatever’s coming is about to be embarrassing as all hell and today is not the day for this.
“Grandpa, maybe we should talk about this later.”
“Nonsense,” he insists. “I want this young lady to know how starry-eyed you were when you walked into my room that day and announced that you’d met someone.”
I’m not sure how many shades of red a person can turn, but I am sure that I’m turning all of them consecutively. “Seriously? We’re doing this now? You just met her.”
“I know, son, which is a shame,” he says. “It’s been far too long, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, well…” I shake my head, unsure of what else to say.
“Yep. It’s been far, far too long, son,” he repeats. Then he pins me with his gaze. “Far too long since you been lyin’ to me.”
My eyebrows fly to the top of my forehead, and my eyes go very, very wide. “Excuse me?”
“You heard me.” He coughs and then wipes his mouth with his tissue. “You two actually met the day you came in here and told me you were taking her to this wedding. What did we both say?” He raises an eyebrow at me. “You can’t get anything past me, son. I know all.”
My heart pounds in my chest as I hang my head and try to think of what to say to him. A thousand questions fly through my brain. Why didn’t he tell me he knew? How long has he known? Why did he let me go on with the charade? But none of them stick long enough to ask. Mostly because it’s already been a long fucking day. This is just the icing on the cake.
“You knew the whole time?” Cadence asks for me, awe in her voice.
“Of course I knew,” he says simply. “Matty here was just doin’ what he thought he needed to to make me happy.” He pats his chest where his heart is, facing me. Then he turns back to Cadence. “But I’m glad you really did meet. And I’m glad you know all about this too. This coulda gotten real awkward right about now.”
There’s nothing left to do but laugh at this point. All three of us dissolve into easy laughter, and then it hits me. I want more of this. More nights with her. More laughter and fun with my grandpa. More peaceful, light moments in my life. And I can’t have that if I’m spending all of my energy trying not to be in a relationship. This is how to achieve those moments.
By being with her.
So I pray with everything I have that I didn’t screw it all up. That I didn’t let the past ruin the amazing future I can have with her. That my grandpa didn’t tell her some stupid-ass story that’ll make her run for the hills as soon as we leave his room.
“Sorry,” I tell him when we all settle back into the moment. “I think we’re all on the same page now. No more lies.”
“Only the truth,” he says to me before looking at Cadence.
She squeezes his hand and then reaches for mine across the bed. As soon as I take it, my heart feels complete. With her hand in mine, I can see a future full of time with her. Time spent running with her. Time at the gym with her. Time during lunch breaks, and time for dinner together. Time spent here with my grandpa, and time having meals with her family.
So much time. We’ll make the time. The time for us and the time for ourselves. So we can both grow and heal—together.
Once we’ve all joined hands, she says, “No more lies. Only the truth.” With her gaze fully on mine, she speaks for both of us. “Strings fully attached—from here on out.”
I still need to explain this morning and be honest with her about that, but she’ll hear me. And that’s more than I can ask for at this moment. We’ll figure it out from here, and I’m so thankful for the chance.
My grandpa breaks the moment by letting our hands go and shooing us out of the room. “Okay, you crazy kids. It’s past my bedtime. You get on outta here and come back to see me sometime when the sun is actually out, okay?”
We both laugh, but I don’t let her hand go. I hold on to her the whole time I come around the end of his bed, switching hands when I have to. When I’m next to her, I put an arm around her middle and wave goodbye to my grandpa.
“I’ll be back soon,” I tell him.
“I know ya will,” he says back, waving goodbye. “But, for now, you could ask Randi if I can have some more of that green Jell-O.”
There’s never a dull moment with this guy. And I chuckle as I pull Cadence out the door with me. But she stops me before we’re halfway down the hall by tugging on my hand.
“Are you gonna tell me what happened today?” she asks, how serious she is shining in her eyes.
I lick my lips, my mouth suddenly going dry. But I tell her the truth. “Yeah. And it’s going to take some time for me to…work through it, I guess. Can we go home first though?”
Her lips start to twitch upward. “Whose home?”
Now, I’m the one tugging on her hand, hauling her close to me. “As long as we’re together, I don’t care whose place we end up at.”
Her smile lights me up inside and her green eyes sparkle at me, so I kiss her nose.
In my arms, she asks, “You’re okay? Really okay?”
To be honest with her, I shake my head. “Not really. But I will be. With you, I will be.” Unable to resist, I press my lips to hers, and she opens up for me so our tongues can slide together for a moment. Then I kiss her forehead. “What about you? You’re missing your sister’s wedding.”
“She’s the one who told me to go, actually.” Then her bottom lip pulls down on one side. “My mom and my sister know about you—that you’re not Brian. And get this.” She cocks her head to the side. “My mom knew I was lying just like your grandfather knew about you.”
I chuckle at that. “Apparently, we should just tell the truth from now on.”
“And focus on the present moment, no matter what that includes,” she finishes for me.
“Sounds good to me,” I tell her.
And then we walk out of the building, giving Randi a wave as we make our way home. Together.