Shayla
Colt’s apartment feels cold and empty. What I wouldn’t give to hear one of his corny jokes. Or listen to Cee’s bubbly laughter. In just a few short months, my life has changed drastically. I never thought I’d be pining for my ex-husband again after all these years.
What a fool I’d made of myself this morning, groveling in the parking lot. Not so long ago, the tables were turned. Colt was the one begging me to marry him. When had I lost control?
I gaze out the panoramic windows at the darkening skyline. I’m sure I’ve been standing here for hours. I lost track of time shortly after I arrived. On the cab ride over here, I finally gave in to anger and frustration. My tears flowed freely. The cabbie totally freaked out. I had to assure him numerous times that I wasn’t bleeding internally. When his cell phone rang he said something in Spanish to the caller. My español is a little rusty, but I thought I heard the words crazy, menopausal woman. I wish that were the problem.
From the horrified stare Nigel gave me when I came through the lobby, I must have looked a hot mess. I managed to hold my head high and trudge to the elevator. Now I’m in the penthouse all alone. I want to call Cee, but I’m scared. What will I say? Sorry I screwed up your adoption.
This is all my fault. We were so close to sealing the deal. I’m the reason Cee may not get adopted. All because of a stupid decision I made almost a decade ago. If I could take it back… I don’t know if I would. My mistakes have made me who I am today. They’ve shaped my character.
Where do I go from here? Divorce again? Do I even want to be married to a guy who only believes in second chances for himself? What about all the things he said to me? How much he loved me. How he was offering me a lifetime of fidelity. Was he lying? No. I’d studied his reaction. Looked in his eyes. He meant every word he’d said. That’s what made his rejection this time so hurtful. I may be the biggest fool in L.A., but I still want him. Despite everything, I want him even more.
The doorbell rings, dragging me from my pity party. My heart lurches. It must be Colt! Yet even as I go to answer it, I know it’s not him. He has a key. He wouldn’t ring the doorbell.
I yank open the door, not bothering to look through the peephole.
An unexpected visitor fills the doorframe. “Come to gloat? You finally got what you wanted. Colt is done with me—for good.”
Ruger’s eyes narrow in confusion. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Don’t even try it. By now, the whole family has heard about what happened this morning, and all the details of my sordid past. Colt doesn’t think I’m good enough for him or Cee.”
“I haven’t heard a damn thing. Colt doesn’t confide in me anymore.”
“You didn’t come over here to throw my past in my face?”
“I came to talk about the past, but regarding my behavior, not yours. I have something to say to you and Colt.”
I stand barefoot at the threshold, studying his face. I’m no expert on body language, but I think he’s telling the truth. He has no clue about Colt’s blowup and my near meltdown. “He’s not here, so you wasted a trip.”
“I can talk to him later. But I need to say this. I’m going to get to the point. I behaved badly yesterday. In fact, I’ve behaved badly over the past decade.”
“Bingo. Give the man a prize for his brutal honesty.”
“Please.” He holds up his palm like a human stop sign. “This is hard enough for me.”
His face is a mask of determination. I can tell he’s really struggling with this. I guess it can’t be easy for him to come here after he acted an ass yesterday. I don’t invite him in, but I don’t send him away either. I remain silent, letting him get whatever he needs to say off his chest.
“I saw the way you handled Cee. It’s obvious that you love her. And I can see that she adores you. I think you’d make a great mother to that girl.”
My heart chokes thinking of her. “Thank you,” I manage, amazed that I’m thanking Ruger Emerson for anything.
“I should have never gotten between you and Colt. I thought I was protecting him. I knew from the day he was born, my kid brother was going to be someone special. When he got that football scholarship, it wasn’t just him getting the award. The entire family benefitted. I didn’t want him to have any distractions.” He stuffs his hands into his jeans pockets and shakes his head. “You, Shayla, were definitely a distraction. Colt fell hard for you.”
Tears prick the back of my eyes. I was completely in love with Colt, too. We would never get those years back, thanks to his brothers. Now, even though we’d reconnected after all this time, fate seemed determined to keep us apart.
“I understand if you hate me. I’ve hated myself over the years for what I did. I just want you to know that Colt was never the same after the annulment. He never got over you. Me and Wesson thought we were doing the right thing by steering him away from you. We were wrong. I was wrong. You two belong together.”
Of all the things I expected, this wasn’t one. I figured Ruger and I would be enemies long after we were old and gray. I’ve spent so much time and energy blaming him and Wesson for what I’ve perceived as their slight against me, I’m not sure what to do next. “What do you want me to say?”
His eyes lock with mine. “I messed up. I’m man enough to admit it. The question is, are you woman enough to forgive me?”
For years I’ve been holding on to this hurt. Bemoaning the injustice of it all. When you boil conflict down to its basic components all we want in life is for the people who’ve wronged us to make amends. I realize I’ve been letting Ruger have power over me by not forgiving him. For my sanity and personal growth, this has to stop now. “Yes, Ruger, I forgive you.”
In that moment, I feel a weight lifted from my spirit. Saying those three words takes more of a toll than I ever believed. I’m exhausted from carrying years of bitterness and anger. But I feel better. Stronger. Vindicated.
His shoulders straighten. I swear I can see the tension leave his body. “Thank you.” He holds out his arms wide. “How about a hug?”
I wag my forefinger at him. “Let’s not push it.”
He smirks—his version of a smile—and for the first time, I see him as a handsome human being, not a wicked hippogriff out for my blood. The evil curse has been lifted. “Now, what were you saying about Colt not thinking you’re good enough for him?”
“It’s a long story. Let’s just say this marriage may go the same route as the last one—down the tubes.”
“Not if I can help it.” He spins around, performing an about-face that a Korean dictator would be proud of, and then he heads down the hall.
“Where are you going?” I yell.
“To talk some sense into my brother—for real this time!”