Chapter 7

Zoe pushed her food around on her plate with a fork.

“I can see you doing that. Just eat them, Zoe. You know you have to,” I said, looking at her plate over the open pages of my book. Marla was working a night shift again, which meant that Zoe was going to spend the night with me.

I had tons of material to get through before my class on Monday. My dissertation was nowhere close to being complete, and a dull ache pounded at the back of my head just from thinking about it.

“I hate boiled carrots.” Zoe turned her lips up and made a snooty face.

I furrowed my brows and tried to give her a sour look. It didn’t work because she knew that I couldn’t really ever be mad at her.

“Just eat your dinner, Zoe. Aunty Lily needs to study,” I said exasperatedly.

Secretly, I was glad for the distraction, because ever since I had gotten back to the house, I couldn’t stop thinking about this morning, about what had happened and what I had done. I don’t know if I was embarrassed as much as I was in shock. What was it about Casper Argent that had made me behave in the way I did? How could I have lost myself so completely?

Zoe grabbed the plastic cup of water beside her on the table with both her hands, and in an instant, the cup slipped out of her hands and fell to the floor. I stood up in a jerk, my face twisted up in a frown. I slammed my book down on the table. I wasn’t really annoyed with Zoe. I was just mad at myself.

“I’m sorry, Aunty Lily. I didn’t mean it,” Zoe whimpered, her face turning red.

She didn’t expect that reaction from me, and I was shocked by it as well. I was the fun person in her life. Marla was a strict mother who made sure Zoe was in bed by eight and ate no candy after five in the evening. But she was the apple of my eye, my godchild, the sweetest girl I had ever met who I was also helping to raise. And in my eyes, Zoe could never do any wrong.

But tonight, I was taking out my frustration with myself and what had happened with Casper on this poor child.

“It’s fine. Don’t worry about it,” I said, plucking a kitchen towel off a shelf and wiping down the wet floor.

“I’ll eat my carrots. Just please don’t be mad at me,” Zoe said, her lips pouted.

I straightened and roughed up her hair before forcing myself to smile.

“Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have reacted like that. Just eat your dinner, and then we’ll get you ready for bed,” I said, pinching her chin and giving it a wriggle.

“Oh please, Aunty Lily… it’s only eight-thirty. Can’t I stay up for half an hour longer?” Zoe begged.

I licked my lips, trying to stop my face from turning red again. I didn’t want her to be able to see the frustration in my eyes. I needed some alone time. I needed to think over what had happened. Get my thoughts back in order. None of which I could possibly do if Zoe was going to stay up.

“You’re going to bed now, young lady,” I said, grabbing my half-empty plate off the table and slapping it into the kitchen sink. It made a loud clambering sound as I did it, which startled Zoe again. I could see the confusion on her face. In the six years that she had known me, she had never seen her Aunty Lily in such a bad mood, at least not around her. I had always managed to keep my frustrations and anger out of Zoe’s sight. But not tonight.

Zoe had fallen silent. I wished I could offer her some kind words to make her feel better, because she was only being a kid. She hadn’t really done anything wrong. But I didn’t want to open my mouth in fear of what I might end up saying. What other caustic words might come spewing out of my throat? And all this because of a man!

“I’m done with dinner, Aunty Lily,” Zoe said, jumping off the chair and handing me her plate.

I took it from her in silence and started washing up.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that she was standing there with a vacant, confused look on her face, wondering what was going on, where her lovable, happy Aunty Lily had disappeared. But I didn’t want to look at her, out of shame and guilt.

“Thank you,” I muttered after several minutes of silence.

“I’ll brush my teeth and get ready for bed,” Zoe said, turning around to go into the spare bedroom, which was always reserved for her. It’s not like I had family or friends coming over to stay at my place that often.

I didn’t reply to her or acknowledge what she said. Instead, I continued washing the dishes in silence. I could hear her brushing her teeth in the bathroom, then changing into her night clothes. I couldn’t even look at myself. It had been several hours, but I still couldn’t forget what I had done in Casper Argent’s office.

****

I was blinking up at the ceiling, aware that it was too late to still be awake. But my mind was doing that horrid thing it does when it’s overworked: it just wouldn’t shut off. I could picture Casper’s sandy blond hair, his chiseled bare torso, and now, in the seclusion of my room, I could think about his cock as well. I was allowing my mind to wander.

I usually slept in pajamas, but for some reason, tonight I’d gotten into bed without any clothes on. Under the covers, I was completely naked, and I could clearly see Casper’s bare body floating before my eyes. I didn’t have to imagine too hard; I had seen him with my own eyes. I had seen him stroking himself, that smile on his face, his beautiful, smooth, silky bronze skin, those dazzling blue-gray eyes. I knew exactly what he looked like under all his clothes.

When I touched my breasts under the covers, I realized that my nipples were hard – painfully hard – for Casper’s mouth. As much as I was ashamed of what I did earlier, angry with myself for having debased myself in front of a stranger, I couldn’t stop myself from fantasizing about him any longer. I fantasized about what it would have been like if we’d actually had sex.

I could remember the kiss exactly, how his tongue sought out my mouth, what it felt like when he parted my lips and shoved his tongue in. My hand wandered down to my throbbing wet center now. I wanted him inside me again.

With one swift motion, I threw the covers off. I didn’t want the barrier. I was also sweating, even though it was a relatively cool night. My body was covered in a thin film of perspiration as I dreamed about Casper’s chiseled torso, how he smelled, how his mouth tasted.

My forefinger slid into me. I wasn’t planning on doing it, but it happened. I gasped when I felt it sliding in, imagining Casper’s finger there instead of my own. Before my eyes, I could see his huge cock swinging between his legs, how he held it in his hands like it was some kind of weapon… a weapon for my destruction.

I threw my head about on my pillow and bit down on my lower lip. My middle finger slipped in as well as I continued to stroke myself. I could feel my fingers slipping and sliding in my own juices. It was easy for me to reach that central spot, the one that made my body shiver and my toes curl. Casper Argent was too delicious, too tempting to not think about as I continued to stroke myself.

I was afraid I was going to draw blood as I bit down on my lip harder. But I didn’t care anymore. My body quivered ferociously as I thought about his lips on my body, his tongue leaving a wet trail down my hot belly, down my navel, reaching down to my throbbing wet center before he thrust his tongue into me. The same way my finger was thrusting now, repeatedly, harder, with more force.

I was pounding into myself, biting down on my lip to stop myself from screaming. Casper Argent’s tongue was inside me, then it was licking my clit, sucking on my sex, slipping in and out. Stroking me there where I knew I would lose control.

My body was wet, my hair was damp, and a low gasp escaped me before I bit down on my lip again. Casper’s big hands were clutching both my breasts, squeezing my nipples between his thumb and finger, squeezing them so hard that it hurt and I yelped.

I was going to come. My fingers were covered with my juices as I slipped in a third finger. My bed was shaking as I wriggled, holding myself down with my own hands. Thrusting my fingers in and out as I imagined Casper’s tongue there, taking control.

My body was reaching the peak. I was going to topple over.

Then I let go. I jumped up in bed, sitting up straight. With one hand, I continued to push in and out of myself, while with the other I clutched the bedsheets tightly. I tried to keep my moan low as my eyes rolled in pleasure. Casper’s smiling, wickedly laughing face floated before my eyes as I came.

When my breathing was slightly recovered, I pulled my fingers out. My breasts rose and fell from the workout. I could still see Casper in my mind, his lips covered with my juices. I shivered as I shook my head, trying to banish his face from my mind. I shouldn’t have been thinking about him. He’d embarrassed me. He had used me to fulfill some kind of twisted ego trip of his. Why was I still thinking about him? Why was I allowing myself to still feel like this?

He’d had an agenda. He’d seduced me for his own selfish purposes. And then he’d had the audacity to offer me a job!

I jumped off my bed and started pulling my robe on. I needed to get a drink of water. I needed to get out of my bedroom, where even in the dark I imagined I could see Casper Argent’s face. More importantly, I knew I had to go check on Zoe and see if she was sleeping soundly.

A chill ran down my spine as I tightened the robe around my body. I didn’t feel safe in my own home anymore. I felt violated. Like Casper Argent had taken complete control over my life. With his cock.