Chapter Thirty - Maddie
What I saw when he came charging through that curtain of flame was impossible. It was terrifying. It was in competition to become the worst moment of my life.
Because there was simply no way he could survive. The fire was too out of control. The burning wall too thick to break through. The wrath of the inferno too savage to overcome.
But he did. He did break through. He did overcome.
He just ripped off the burning shirt he was wearing, smacked it on his legs to put it out, ran over to me, and said, “Hi.”
Tyler fuckin’ Morgan...
And so, I don’t know how to tell him that what I’m thinking about now is that… I prayed for him. Not to any god or spirit or whatever, but for him. For him and me. For us. And that it may just have worked.
I don’t tell him because I don’t know if I believe it myself. It’s too out there to be believed. If I tell him that I was imagining us old and together and still in love, and… Nope. Not gonna say it. It’s weird. It’s crazy. And we’ve had enough weird and crazy, so I’m just gonna let this shit sit for now. I do have a question, though…
“Ty?”
“Yeah, babe?”
“That explosion. The fire.”
“Yeah?”
“What was that?”
He takes a sip of his water and nods his head back and forth. He winces a bit. I don’t give a shit whether he wants it or not, he’s getting fucking x-rays. “Yeah. Yeah. Yeah…”
“Tyler?”
“Yeah, I dunno. I’ve been trying to figure it out. I dunno.”
“Well, we were standing on top of that whole fueling thing. Maybe one of the bullets started a—”
He shakes his head. “Nope. C’mon, babe. You’ve never seen Mythbusters?”
“No. What’s that?”
“Show on TV. Fuckin’ awesome. But no. That’s bullshit. Movies and shit when something gets blown up by getting shot? No way. There’s oxygen, and surface area, and heat diffusion and… No. Not possible.”
“K. So what caused that?”
“I have no earthly idea. I’ve been studying this shit my whole life and I was thinking maybe the fire you started inside might have somehow done something to a fuel line that, in turn, was connected to the fuel reserves under the filling station, but… I dunno. None of it makes sense. Sure did blow the fuck up, though.”
“Yeah. Sure did.” I look back out the window to reflect on this. But I find that I can’t. “And you saw Carlos die?” He nods. “Was it—?”
“Don’t, babe,” he interrupts. “It’s… Don’t. He’s gone. And, no, honestly, it wasn’t that bad. I can say with absolute confidence that he didn’t feel it. K?”
I nod absently. Then, “Logan?”
Tyler sighs. “Uh, I didn’t see him… go. But he was unconscious, and then it was all spreading his way, and… I dunno what to tell you, Mads. I was on fire and shit. I wasn’t at my clearest level of thinking. But the point is, even if he somehow survived—which there’s no way he did—it’s done. This chapter of your life is over. K? I promise.”
I nod, a bit less than certain. He leans forward and takes my hands again, wincing the whole time.
“You’re getting a goddamned x-ray.”
“OK, whatever, fine. Just listen.” He looks into my eyes and holds my gaze. “We are going to leave the past in the past. OK? And I mean all of it. New Year’s is less than a week away, yeah? OK, so I’m giving us exactly six days to take care of any unresolved bullshit that we need to take care of so that we can start the new year fresh and ready for whatever’s next.”
“Oh. You’re giving us six days. Like, that’s what you’re doing. Is that, like, an order, or…?”
“Don’t be a dick.” He slaps at my knee. “You know what I mean. There’s some shit I gotta handle and I wanna get it out of the way and be done, and if you can too, then… super. But hey, look, if you wanna keep being kinda miserable, be my guest. It’s a good look on you.”
I grin. Fucker. Then I reach up and tug at his beard. “This? Is this one of the things we’re putting behind us, because I would be more than happy to see this shit gone.”
“What? Are you crazy? I can’t shave that! I’m like Samson. My strength is in my beard.”
“Yeah, well then I may just have to Delilah the shit out of you while you sleep.”
“Damn. You is a cold woman.”
I laugh, lean forward, pressing onto his knees to support myself, and give him a long, well-earned kiss on his silly mouth. Then I sit back and look out the window again. I start giggling a little. I can’t help it.
“What? What is it?” he asks.
And now my giggle turns into a chuckle, and my chuckle into a laugh, and before I know it, I’m full-on belly-laughing and snorting. Which makes him laugh too.
“Ow, ow,” he says, laughing and holding his ribs. “Stop. It hurts. What are you laughing at?”
I let the laughter slow to a snicker again, breathe in, let it out, take a long look at him and say, “I dunno. I was just thinking… if this was Christmas… I can’t wait to see what fresh hell New Year’s Eve is gonna bring.”
As it leaves my lips, we both crack up all over again. And as Tyler grabs at his side and begs me to stop making him laugh, I smile a big smile, glance out the window one more time, and quietly whisper to whatever mysterious force controls the universe...
“You know I’m only joking... Right...?”