Everything was grey. There were different shades of grey. Some dark. Some light. Some nearly transparent while others were opaque, but grey was the only color anywhere.

Even my clothes had turned grey. My jeans were no longer the dark wash blue they had been before Elron touched the tree, and my t-shirt had lost all color.

James and Elron’s clothing had already been monochrome, but they were also washed out. The black of their boots were grey now too. Even our skin had a grey tone to it, and our hair was a dark-ashy grey.

The trees were grey, and the moss climbing up the trunks of the trees was a charcoal grey.

The sky was also grey—different than a cloudy, overcast day. This was a solid grey as if someone had painted over a bright blue sky with a marker.

And as strange as it sounds, the wind felt grey. I never imagined a cold wind could have a color, but it did here somehow, and the feeling seeped into my soul. I wrapped my arms tightly over my chest, but it did nothing to stop the spread of the chill. I wanted to lie down, curl up in a ball, and give up on everything and anything. But I couldn’t. I was here to see my father I reminded myself, but even as I said it doubt set in. Maybe I should just give up.

I looked up at the sky and sighed. I felt bad for the dead living here. To never see a blue sky again or to marvel at colorful flowers and birds. It was particularly jarring after coming straight from the garden just past the gate where the colors were even more vibrant than the ones I was used to back home. I longed to return to that garden. Really I wanted to be anywhere but here.

“The dead do not see the grey.” Elron walked over to where I stood.

“They don’t?” I felt some relief. Whether I ended up here or not, there were others there. I wouldn’t wish the greyness on anyone.

“No. We are not meant to be here so we are unable to see the realm for what it is. It is a tactic to make sure no one comes to this realm to stay before their time.” Elron looked up at the grey sky.

“Oh.” I thought over it. “I guess that makes sense.” And if that was the case, their plan would definitely work. I had a feeling I was only seeing the beginning of the effect of the grey. If you spent too much time there it might destroy any hope you had.

“They do not feel the chill either.” He must have noticed the way I held myself.

“Lucky them,” I mumbled. Then I realized what I’d said. “Sorry. I don’t mean—” I was saying all sorts of things without thinking.

“I know exactly what you mean.” James glanced down at his chest. “I should have told you to pack a jacket. I am sorry you are cold.”

“I’m fine.” I needed to do a better job of pretending to be tougher than I was.

“Would my shirt help?” He reached for the hem of his shirt.

“No!” I said more loudly then I meant to. I needed to stop opening my mouth.

“Ok…” James’s expression tightened.

“Sorry, I just mean, I don’t need it.” In other words I wasn’t ready to see him shirtless. I was already having trouble concentrating as memories from what I had once thought was a dream came back. But once I heard about the time travel I understood it had probably happened, and that made the situation and my feelings even more intense. Normally I would have assumed it would feel awkward, but awkward didn’t apply to the way I felt about James. Better terms were need, desire, and crave.

“You okay?” James voice came from right beside me. My head filled with flashes of skin, caresses, and steamy kisses that led to so much more.

“Maybe.” I blinked a few times, trying to clear away the visions.

“I am getting the memories back too,” he whispered in my ear, and the words might as well have been a caress themselves by the way they affected me.

“Oh.” I tried to ignore the tingle of excitement that spread through me.

“James, please stop distracting her.” Elron started forward through the grey forest.

I could feel blood rushing to my face. “I’m not distracted.” I hurried after Elron wondering if my blush would appear grey too.

“You were, but it is essential you stay alert. Someone knew who you were from the beginning. They could be here now.”

“In the realm of the dead?” My chest clenched. “I thought only elves could come here.”

“No, others can too.” His expression darkened. “But there is no need to worry about that now. Let’s focus on finding your father.”

“What if he doesn’t believe I’m his daughter?” That was my greatest fear. What if he was really my dad, but he didn’t believe it? I was dumb to even come here. I should have stayed at home. I felt horrible, empty, and it was all my fault.

“He will. He sent you messages. He knows who you are now.” Elron sounded so confident, which was the opposite of how I felt.

“Sent me messages?” Every time I thought I knew what was going on, something new was sent my way.

“In your head. Not visions exactly, at least you said it was just a voice.”

“And you know it was my father?” The whole time travel thing was strange because it required me to trust more. Trusting people didn’t come naturally for me, but in some ways it was easier to trust people I barely knew. There was less risk and baggage.

“Ainsley, stop.” Elron stood in front of me.

“What?”

“Fight the greyness.” His eyes locked on mine. “You are letting it in. You have to stop that, or we will get nowhere.”

Fight the greyness? He made it sound so easy. “How?”

“Push it away. You are strong,” Elron instructed.

“I’ll try.”

We continued walking through the thick forest of grey trees. Each tree was identical at first glance, but the closer you looked it was possible to see that there were several different types. There was something reassuring about the variety. It was a small break in the otherwise monotonous facade of the place.

That realization helped until it didn’t anymore. The further we walked the worse the chill grew. My joints ached and my head throbbed, and once again I was overcome with the desire to lay down on the ground. I leaned against a tree to take a break.

James stopped beside me. “You doing okay?”

“I think so.” I tried to push off the greyness, but now it had seeped into my head. It pounded until I thought I couldn’t take anymore.

Then I heard a warm voice inside my head. “Ainsley.” The voice cut through the chill, easing my pounding headache.

“What?” I gazed around confused.

“You okay?” James asked worriedly.

“Did you hear someone say my name?” I looked out into the greyness but saw nothing. “Please tell me I’m not going crazy.”

“He is messaging you again. Perfect.” Elron grinned. “Try to answer him.”

“You are not crazy.” James looked right at me. “No matter what the voice is.”

I smiled in thanks to James before turning back to ask Elron the burning question on the tip of my tongue. “What if it’s not him?” There were a lot of other people it could be in theory. What if it was one of those people or creatures, who knew what they were, that Elron had warned me about?

“It is your father.” Elron touched my shoulder. “I am sure of it.”

“How can you be sure of it?” I wasn’t sure of anything at the moment.

“Because I know.” Elron looked deep into my eyes. “And you know it too. Push away the greyness and the doubt will leave with it.”

“You cannot know—” I stopped as the voice spoke again.

“Ainsley, you can relax.”

“Relax?”

“He told you to relax?” James asked. “That kind of sounds like Monty.”

“It’s weird that you know him, and I don’t.” But I guess it was no weirder than the other stuff I’d experienced recently.

James shrugged. “I guess so, but you had no idea who he was a few hours ago.”

“A few hours ago… it’s crazy how fast this has all happened.” It was hard to believe.

“Come to the water.” The voice rang through my head.

“Where’s the water?”

“He must mean the lake.” Elron started walking quickly. “Perfect.”

“Is there something perfect about a lake?” James asked as he followed Elron by my side.

Elron glanced over his shoulder. “It means we have a destination. You cannot find anything here unless one of the residents leads you.”

“Wait.” Funny how Elron was only telling us this tidbit of information now. “So what you’re saying is that if I didn’t hear the voice in my head, we wouldn’t be able to find him?”

“Not a voice necessarily, but some sort of guidance. I knew you would get a message.”

“How could you have known I would?” Confidence was one thing, but reckless belief was another.

“Does it matter?”

“It does. How could you have known?” I pressed.

“Because you heard the voice before. He wants to speak with you, so I could only assume he would make the effort to do it once you got here.”

“Whatever you say.” I went back to watching the trees. The more I focused on the differences in each one, the easier it was to shrug off the grey.

“Has he said anything else?” James asked.

“No. Just come to the water.” I was afraid to try to reach him myself. Whether he was my father or not, he was still dead.

“I can come with you.” James’s arm brushed against mine sending sparks through me.

“I need to do this myself.” I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I did.

“Are you sure?” James asked. “Did he specifically say it?”

“He didn’t need to say it, I just know,” I struggled to explain. “But don’t leave, ok? Wait for me.”

“Did you think I would just leave you here in the depths of the realm of the dead?” James looked incredulous.

“No. I didn’t.” There was something between us. Something scorching hot, yet soul deep. There was so much I wanted to explore, so much to learn, but first I needed to meet Monty. I needed to meet my dad.

We continued walking, and before long the thick forest of trees opened up and a large grey body of water came into view.

“I take it this is the lake.” I gazed out at the murky water.

“It is.” Elron stood on one side of me. James was on the other.

“And I’m supposed to walk into it?” I asked no one in particular.

“That is what I would assume.” Elron didn’t look at me when he replied.

“Ok. I can do this.” I focused on the way the water gently lapped at the shore.

“I will wait right here.” James’ words were reassuring.

“So will I.” Elron added. “Not that you are worried about that.”

“I want you to wait too.” But for different reasons. I wanted Elron’s information and his advice on what to do next. If he had truly traveled time to do this, he must have had a very good reason.

I walked toward the grey water feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. Had I done this before? Was this another strange part of the time travel? I had only visited a few lakes in my life, but none of them looked anything like this. I tried to imagine the lake with color, but I couldn’t. It was as if my imagination was on vacation. Although didn’t this whole situation take imagination? Grasping time travel and being at a place for dead people weren’t things meant for logic and reason.

I took small yet deliberate steps, wondering how cold the water would be, and whether anyone had a towel for after. Strangely enough I didn’t doubt my sanity. I probably should have. Walking into a lake to converse with a voice in my head seemed really, really intense. The positive part of it all was that the closer I got to the lake, the less the greyness bothered me. I could feel it’s hold unfurl around me.

I reached the shore of the lake and looked back over my shoulder. James and Elron were standing exactly where they had been.

I turned back around, let out a slow breath, and stepped into the cool water. The grey water had a chill, like the wind. My steps were slower now as I walked further into the water. My feet were wet, then my legs, and before I knew it I was up to my waist. Wasn’t that far enough?

The voice laughed. “Keep coming.”

I listened. I had come this far already; I wasn’t going to stop. I resisted the urge to turn back toward the shore to see James. I needed to keep my mind clear. I stepped further into the water until it reached my chest. Then I stepped a few more times, closing my eyes as the water splashed my face. Two more steps, and I was under water.