Noah didn’t ask about Gerald Darby for three days.

He also didn’t get out of bed or interact with any of the animals or show any interest in the snow that fell steadily outside until there were several inches of it covering the ground. He barely slept or ate. When he did shut his eyes, the nightmare was right there and he’d wake up screaming.

But not just any screams.

He kept calling for his father.

And saying he was sorry.

Actual words.

It was fucking killing us all.

Killian and Zak had both taken off work so that someone was with Noah around the clock. He let us hold him and he listened as we reassured him that he was safe and that we wouldn’t leave him, but he didn’t speak to us directly or write anything down for us. He ate when we begged him to, but it was rarely more than a few bites. Killian was talking to Dr. Clark every day to give her an update and while she’d reassured us we were doing the right thing, Noah’s health continued to decline. Zak had finally started an IV just to keep Noah from getting too dehydrated.

We were currently all lying in bed together, even though it was the middle of a Sunday afternoon. The three of us didn’t really talk a lot while we were in bed with Noah because we wanted him to rest as much as possible, but when one of us needed to rage or cry or deal with the fear that was coursing through each of us, we were never alone. It was like we took turns being strong for each other when we weren’t all being strong for Noah.

It was Waldo who ended up doing what none of us had the guts to do.

The toucan had been at his post on the footboard for nearly all of the three days, going downstairs only long enough to eat.

I was mid-doze with Noah in my arms when he jolted against me and actually yelled, “Ow!”

At first, I thought he was having a nightmare, but when he scrambled upright and grabbed his hand, I realized he was very much awake. Killian and Zak must have fallen asleep at some point too, because Zak nearly fell out of bed when Killian lurched to a sitting position.

“Noah, what is it? Are you okay?” Killian asked even as he grabbed Zak’s arm to keep him from tumbling off the bed.

Noah didn’t answer him as he pulled the hand with the IV in it closer to his chest as Waldo made a jump for it. The bird was sitting between him and Killian.

“Waldo,” Killian called as he reached for the toucan.

Waldo flapped his wings wildly and tried to peck at Killian’s hands. The bird had clearly gone off the rails because he’d never once showed any kind of aggression toward Noah.

But now he was going after him repeatedly.

Well, not so much Noah, but the IV line that was in the back of Noah’s hand. The bird seemed fascinated by it.

“Grab him, Killian,” Zak said.

“No,” Noah said as he put his hand out to stop Killian. “No, please,” he said. His voice still had that rusty quality to it, but the words came more easily than I’d ever heard them come before. He still looked pale and sickly as he said them, though.

We all sat quietly as we watched Noah reach for Waldo. The bird didn’t resist when Noah picked him up. He cuddled him against his chest, then held out the hand with the IV in it so Waldo could get a closer look at it. I wondered if the bird thought it was some kind of food, but this time instead of pecking at it, he began rubbing his beak against it.

He did it over and over until Noah put his hand out to Zak and said, “T… take it out… please.”

Zak didn’t hesitate to do as Noah asked. I figured we were all pretty shocked that Noah was suddenly talking to us… well, talking, period.

Once the IV was gone, Noah lowered his hand to show Waldo. The toucan seemed less agitated. Noah ran his fingers along the bird’s long beak. He tilted Waldo’s beak a tiny bit so he could get a closer look at the crack that had started to grow longer where what remained of the bird’s natural beak met his artificial one. Noah studied it for a long time, then cuddled Waldo against his chest as he shifted his body so he was sitting cross-legged between us.

“He told me we need-ed to be quiet,” Noah murmured. His words came out slow and he stuttered here and there, but he continued on his own. “He told me not to make a sound. But… but I did. I heard Bandy scream-ing. I was scared.”

It was all I could do not to respond, to reassure him that it was normal that he was scared. But I remembered Dr. Clark’s advice to let Noah talk if and when he decided to do so.

Noah set Waldo in his lap and began petting the now calm bird.

“We ran and ran and ran. He told me never to go into The Bush at night but that’s where we went. He pushed me down and got behind me. I…”

Noah hesitated, and I saw him swallow hard. He looked physically ill. Killian rubbed his back gently while I kept my hand on his knee, but none of us spoke.

“I couldn’t stop scream… screaming. He covered my mouth with his hand. I heard men yelling. I didn’t understand them, but I knew they wanted to hurt us. I stopped screaming. But the voices got closer and closer. Dad whispered in my ear that they were coming and that I had to stay where I was, no matter what. He made me promise. He told me not to make a sound. Not one. He told me he loved me and then he was gone.”

I could feel tears coursing down my own cheeks as Noah’s voice broke.

“I didn’t make a sound after that. I knew they were hurting him, but I didn’t make a sound. I did what I’d promised. I… I had to keep one hand on my mouth, so I could only cover one ear.”

I wrapped my arm around Noah’s shoulder and pressed my face against his. The image of Noah lying amidst all that horror and trying to drown out the sounds of his father dying made me want to curl up in a ball with him and never let him go.

“It was my fault,” Noah choked out. “If I had been quiet when he first told me to—”

“No,” Killian cut in as he dipped his head so it was at Noah’s level. “No, Noah. Those men would have found you both if you’d stayed in that house. Your father knew that and that’s why he took you and ran.”

“I screamed… I led them to us…”

“Those men were bent on murder. They hunted down every man, woman, and child in that village. They would have kept searching for your father because of who he was. He helped people that they hurt and they wanted vengeance,” Killian explained.

“He left me to lead them away,” Noah whispered.

“He did,” I said. “Because he loved you more than anything. He wanted you to live. You were his greatest joy in life. That was the first thing I saw when Gerald showed us the picture of you two.”

Noah looked at me hesitantly. “He has a picture of my dad?”

I wiped away the tears on Noah’s face. “He left it here for you. Do you want to see it?”

Noah looked back down at Waldo who seemed to be dozing off under Noah’s gentle touch.

Noah nodded.

“I’ll get it,” Zak said.

The three of us sat in silence as we waited for Zak to return, but we didn’t stop touching Noah. Killian’s fingers occasionally reached across Noah’s back to touch me, and I welcomed the caresses. I was scared shitless about saying or doing the wrong thing.

When Zak returned, he handed the picture to Killian. Killian held it so Noah could take it from him when he was ready. It took a good minute before Noah worked up the nerve to reach for it. When he did, he held it just above Waldo’s head and stared at it for a really long time.

Then he cried.

And cried.

And cried.

Killian and I both held him and Zak held on to Killian. Noah’s sobs eventually slowed, then stopped altogether. Killian eased Waldo out of Noah’s lap as I laid him down and pulled him against me. We stayed with Noah until we all ended up falling asleep, and when I next woke up, it was early morning.

Killian and Zak were still asleep, but at some point Zak had switched places with Killian so he could hold Noah.

As I lay there and took in the sight of my men all deep in sleep as the fog began to clear from my mind, a sudden realization hit me.

There’d been no nightmare.

We’d been asleep for nearly eighteen hours straight, and there’d been no nightmare.

I knew that wasn’t a guarantee that this whole thing was over, and that Noah had a lot of healing to do, but it was something.

I’d absolutely take something.