Chapter Five
She really had the most expressive face and Gabe felt like the worst asshole for scaring her with the Ollivanti threat, but, dammit all to hell and back he wanted her submission freely given. Not forced on her by circumstances. Not because she was sold to him by that fucker Andrini, but because deep down she wanted him. Gabe, the man, not the crime lord, not the man who owned her.
He scowled when she hesitated, half rose out of her chair and then sat back down again. Her brows drew together in a frown, as she read down the limits list. It was always telling how a submissive reacted to this part of the negotiations. Not that Gabe had allowed himself to indulge in that side of him lately. If he was going to marry Lissandra, however, then he wanted to start this marriage off on the right foot, with him as her Dom as well as her husband.
He daren’t examine why this was so important to him. Why he felt the need to put all this in writing, other than the need to have all this negotiations above board for her protection as much as his own.
Gabe ignored the little voice of reason, which argued he didn’t need to do any of this. He could just ship her off to a safe house, out of the country even, but the thought of any other man’s hands on her pale skin, made him see red. Bound to him like this, he would know where she was at all times. It was the only way to keep her truly safe, if not from him and all the wicked, perverted things he wanted to do to her, but safe from the rest of this fucked up world.
“What does this mean?” she asked, and he followed the line of her pen to his starring of Shibari.
“Ah, ropes in short. Shibari is an ancient form of Japanese rope bondage. Ropes are my preferred method of restraining a submissive.”
“Oh.” Her breathing sped up, and after a short glance up at him from under her eyelashes, she ticked the box to give her consent. Her reactions going down that list were as insightful as they were torturous. His damn dick would have zip marks along its length.
She ticked yes to spanking with his hands, maybe to impact toys. Anal received a maybe, which surprised him. He’d have expected her to put that as a hard limit. Clamps received another maybe, and she breathed an audible relief when she reached the more extreme facets of the lifestyle, namely blood, scat, water, and needle play, all of which he’d crossed out.
He had listed knife play as favorite, and her hand shook as the pen hovered over the no box.
“What does that mean?” she asked.
Gabe put his hand over hers, and she jumped.
“I like the mind fuck, Lissa. I don’t cut, ever, and I don’t leave permanent marks, but fear increases the pleasure.” She looked doubtful, and he could almost see the wheels turn in her head as she mulled this over. “It’s all about trust, little girl. If you trust me enough to do as I say. Then again, the whole lifestyle is built on trust, negotiation, and communication.”
Lissa blinked and nodded, and he released her hand.
She focused her attention back on the list. “What about age play? You’re not going to dress me in nappies, are you?”
Gabe laughed and shook his head.
“No, little girl. There are many facets to that. I’m not averse to adopting the role of Daddy if my little girl needs a firm hand, however.” He let that statement sit in the room, and Lissa squirmed on her seat.
“Would you expect me to call you that? Daddy, I mean?”
Something inside of him shifted at that breathless question, brought out his protective instincts kicking and screaming. “That depends, if my little girl would need to call me that. I prefer Sir, myself.”
The telltale blush which stained her pale cheeks, and the way her breathing sped up made his chest tighten in unwanted emotion. Fuck him sideways. He hadn’t expected this. Then again, with the lack of proper father figure in her life, perhaps he shouldn’t have been surprised at her reaction.
“I don’t … that is … it would feel weird to call you that … Sir.”
Gabe cupped her face, and a shudder went through her.
“It’s just a title, baby, no big deal.”
“Okay.” She ticked yes, and after a moment of hesitation she also ticked yes to knife play before she signed the form next to his signature.
“Good girl.” His murmured praise made her smile, and the invisible boulder of worry he’d been carrying on his shoulders lightened considerably.
The marriage contract and non-disclosure were next under her perusal, and she signed both without any hesitation, and far too quickly if Parkinson’s twitching was any indication. Sure enough, the solicitor cleared his throat repeatedly.
“You really ought to read those thoroughly, Miss Andrini.”
She raised her eyes from the pre-nuptial agreement she was perusing, and her shoulders straightened.
“I’m well aware of that, and I can assure you I am. I’m a fast reader, and besides, there isn’t much in these. One I have to sign to agree to marry him, and the non-disclosure is a non-starter anyway. I would never discuss my private life with anyone, and I certainly wouldn’t go to the police. They weren’t exactly in favor in my house, growing up, and damn useless when Mama…” Her shoulders dropped, and Gabe swore softly under his breath.
“Anyway, let me read this … this thing.” She looked at Gabe, and the fine sheen of tears in her eyes slammed in his gut as though she’d used a sledgehammer to drive her point home. “I don’t want any of your money, so this should be easy, too.” She offered Gabe a wobbly smile and turned her attention back to the document in front of her.
“Nonetheless you’re entitled to certain things,” Parkinson said. “As you can see my client has been more than fair should you decide to terminate the marriage down the line. How much you will be entitled to, will depend on the length of your marriage and whether there are any children.”
Lissa gasped as she reached the settlement figures and shook her head.
“I can’t sign this.”
“Not enough for you?” Gabe asked. Try as he might he couldn’t keep the snarl out his voice, and Lissandra jumped.
“No, it’s not that. It’s too much.” She looked up at him. “What exactly do you expect me to do for all this?” The wobble in her voice got to him, and Gabe shrugged.
“Be my wife, my submissive, mother of my children, the usual stuff.”
“You want children then, but I thought…” She bit her lip and dropped he gaze.
“One thing Andrini did get right is this. I do need an heir. If I’m going to get married, then, yes, I’ll expect children. Besides, it’s the usual consequence of sex unless we use birth control, and I have no intention of doing that with my wife.” He dropped his voice on the last word, and her head shot up. He caught the brief look of longing and hope in her expressive eyes, before she gave a tight nod, picked up the pen and hesitated next to his signature.
“What about my career? I was hoping to carry on painting, maybe sell some like Mama did?”
Gabe put his hand on her shoulder and squeezed.
“You can do both, Lissa. I would never stand in the way of your talent. In fact, when you’ve signed those, I’ve got something to show you.”
Still, she hesitated, but eventually she did sign it.
The rest of the formalities passed in a blur. She was far too quiet during the whole countersigning procedure, which involved Mavis and his second in command, Stone. Eventually, though they were left on their own, and Gabe held out his hand.
“Come on, let me show you what I wanted to earlier.”
This time, Lissa did take his hand, and followed him out into the hall and down the corridor until they reached the first bedroom. He flung open the door and stepped by to let her through.
“Happy Birthday.”
Seeing her face light up in wonder was worth the hassle and expense of this rush job. The previously unused guest bedroom had been stripped of all its trappings. The walls were now a brilliant white. Without the curtains and blinds, it was a sun-filled, light, airy room, perfect for any artist to work her magic. The boys had brought over her artwork, and meagre supplies, which Gabe had matched and doubled up with brand new equipment.
“Oh, this is? You did this for me?”
Arms outstretched, Lissa twirled around, a huge smile spreading across her face.
“No big deal.” He shrugged for good measure, and she advanced on him hands on hips.
“Maybe not to you, but to me it is. How did you even do this so quickly?” she asked.
Gabe pushed his hands into his jeans pockets to stop himself from reaching out to her. He grumbled his answer.
“You can achieve most things with the right amount of cash. Be careful with the walls. The paint is still wet.”
Something in his expression halted her forward progress, and she frowned.
“I guess so, but that doesn’t explain why you did this. Any of this?”
“Don’t read too much into it, girl. It is your birthday, so this seemed a fitting present. I’m glad you like it. Also.” He pulled out the velvet box, which Parkinson had picked up from the jewelers on the way over here and held it out to her.
Another one of those gasps came from his girl, when he flipped it open to reveal the diamond engagement ring. The turquoise stone had reminded him of the color of her eyes, when they darkened in thought, like they did now, while the simplicity of the design had appealed to him. It didn’t look as expensive as it had been—damn thing had cost a fortune— but he’d known, the minute he’d found it online, this was the ring he wanted to see on her hand. The fact it was ready for pick up straight away and in her size, had been an added bonus.
“Marry me?” he asked when she did nothing but stare at the ring in seeming shock. He couldn’t tell whether she was pleased or not, but when she eventually tore her expressive eyes away from the box and looked up at him, the sheen of tears did him in—again.
“You really didn’t have to do that. I didn’t expect…”
Gabe had heard enough. He took the ring out of his box, discarded it on the floor, and pushed the engagement ring on her left finger.
“There, now you look the part.” The tender emotions swamping him at the sight of his ring on her finger were an unwanted complication, which made him push her away when she looked as though she was going to hug him.
“I’ve got stuff to do, so enjoy your new studio.” He stepped away from her. “Let Mavis know if you need anything else.”
Lissandra blinked and wrapped her arms around herself.
“Right, okay … you’re not staying?”
“No, I told you this isn’t a love match. I’ll see you at our wedding. Until then, you have the run of this apartment. Stone will stay here to keep an eye on things and will accompany you if you feel the need to go out anywhere. I would strongly suggest you stay put, however, at least until I know what the deal is with Ollivanti and Andrini. Can you do that for me, little girl?”
A nod was his only answer, and Gabe forced himself to leave.
****
For the second time that day, Lissandra stared at his departing back. What on earth had just happened? The ring on her finger sparkled in the light, and she held it up to truly appreciate it.
Lissandra was no expert in jewelry, but she knew deep down that it must have cost a fortune. It felt heavy on her finger, an all too visible sign to what she’d agreed to.
Oh my God, I’m getting married.
Suddenly, she couldn’t get enough air in her lungs, and pushing open the sliding doors which made up the wall of the bedroom, she hurried onto the terrace. Not that it really helped. Without Gabe’s comforting presence next to her the drop down seemed menacing, the glass balustrade too feeble to stop her from plummeting to her death in the murky waters of the Thames so far down below.
She fell rather than sat into the swing seat which made up this corner of the terrace. The rocking motion soothed her roiling stomach, and pulling her feet up, she closed her eyes and concentrated on breathing. Eventually the panic attack ceased to hold her in its grip, and she opened her eyes. Grief, she hadn’t had one of these in a long time.
They’d been a constant companion of her childhood and teenage years, following on from witnessing her mother being gunned down, but she hadn’t had one in ages. Clearly, coming back to the UK and finding herself in the precarious position of being engaged to the man responsible for hiring the bullet that had killed her mother, had pitched her back into that nightmare.
Lissandra stopped the swing and shot to her feet. There was only one thing for it. She had to get rid of these emotions threatening to crush her, and there was one foolproof way of doing that. Paint.
She stalked into her new studio and set to work, pouring out her emotions onto the canvas with bold strokes of her brush. She sent Mavis away with a flea in her ear, when she popped her head round the door, asking her to come for lunch, and kept on painting.
Eventually, she was done. Her fingers cramped from holding the brush, and her back hurt from standing up for hours, but the brooding man who stared back at her from the easel was Gabe. Dark, menacing, his hands covered in blood, which dripped onto his boots, he looked like the killer he was, and yet… Her breathing sped up at the expression she caught in his eyes. Thoughtful, piercing, tortured, they called to her just like they did in real life.
The door opened and shut, and Mavis inhaled sharply.
“Oh, my goodness. Is that how you see him?”
Lissandra blinked, tore her gaze away from the painting she created, and nodded.
“That’s what he is, isn’t he?” She took a step away from the painting and winced when she caught sight of her hands. Like Gabe’s, they were covered in red paint, a far too symbolic sight. Her stomach roiled, and she blinked back tears. “Mummy.”
Before she’d even stopped her anguished whisper, Lissandra was engulfed in a bear hug. The comforting smells of starch and a myriad of cooking scents enveloped her, and Lissandra hugged the other woman back, grateful for the human contact.
“How can I marry him when he … he…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it out loud, and Mavis hugged her harder.
“Oh, you poor bairn. You’re overwhelmed, and I don’t blame you. He could have handled this much better, but Gabe isn’t a monster, you know.”
Lissandra snorted her disbelief and pushed the old woman away.
“He was responsible for my mother’s death, and yes, I know the bullet wasn’t aimed at her but Papa, but that still makes him a murderer. He might not have wanted Mama dead, but he certainly intended to kill my…” Lissandra took a deep breath in to calm her rioting nerves and continued. “He still wanted Andrini dead, wants him dead, and yes, I know that man is bad news, maybe even worse news than Gabe, but he’s the only family I have left, and fuck it.”
She wrapped her arms around herself and shook her head.
“I’ve no one.”
Mavis regarded her through narrowed eyes, and Lissandra could positively feel the disapproval radiating off the older woman.
“I’m going to forget most of what you said, because you’re not yourself and it’s been a very trying twenty-four hours for you, but…” She grasped hold of Lissandra’s left hand and using her ever-present apron wiped the paint off the ring. “This means you’re one of us. I know Gabe, have known him since he was knee high and living in the roughest council estate our dear city has to offer, and I do know this. He looks after the people he cares about. It might not seem like it to an outsider, and from what I can gather Andrini’s operation never ran like this, but here in this place, you’re safe. We’re all safe. Hells bells, that boy found me and gave me a job, because he knew I would never accept charity, and besides, he has powerful enemies. Anyone associated with him becomes a target, and by keeping you here, by keeping all of us close to him here in this building, he keeps us safe, so think about that before you condemn him. He’s no innocent choir boy, but he’s also not the monster others make him out to be. Now, Ollivanti, there’s a true monster. My own niece…” Mavis let go of Lissandra’s hand and closed her eyes briefly. Dread crawled down Lissandra’s spine, and she reached out to lightly touch the other woman’s arm, to offer comfort, to reassure in any way she could.
“You don’t have to tell me any of this. Clearly, it’s very painful for you.”
Mavis nodded, opened her eyes, and the raw pain in her wise eyes took Lissandra’s breath away.
“She was only fifteen, got lured in by his goons, and we never saw her again. She died of an overdose, some three days before her eighteenth birthday. I went with my brother to identify her body, and … God. It was the worst thing I ever had to do. Sean couldn’t stand it. He died a month later, heart attack, but I think he just gave up. No reason to carry on living, not when his only daughter found such a terrible end.” She pulled a much-needed breath into her lungs and shook her head. “Whatever Gabe is, whatever he does, whatever he may do in the future, he has never, nor will he ever prey on young girls. Does he run brothels and lord knows what else? Of course, he does, but he looks after the girls, and without him they’d be on the street, so don’t. Just don’t!”
She pointed to the painting and shook her head. “Yes, that’s one side of him, but it’s not the only one, and if you’ll only let him in, you’ll see that.” She paused and studied Lissandra for a second. “But then, I think deep down you already know that, don’t you? And you hate yourself for feeling anything but disgust for him.” She smiled and held her hand up when Lissandra shook her head and opened her mouth to refute that notion. “It’s okay, you’re young and impressionable, which is why he’s giving you space.”
Lissandra blinked and tried to speak, but nothing but a rough sound came from the back of her throat, as though she was drowning in phlegm.
She tried again, and this time she managed a squeak.
“Space, is that what you call it? He announces we’re to be married and then just leaves me here? Why does he even bother? He clearly doesn’t want to be around me.”
Lissandra hated how needy that last sentence sounded, but for heaven’s sake. She couldn’t sort out her emotions, not even in her head. She was all over the place.
“Oh, sweetie, don’t you know why he’s staying away?” Mavis smiled and patted Lissandra’s arm. “That man has had about five cold showers since you arrived. Think on why he would feel the need for those and count yourself lucky. Your wedding night…” She smiled knowingly, and Lissandra fought and lost the heat creeping into her cheeks.
“Let’s just say, it will no doubt be a night to remember. Now, you haven’t eaten all day, so freshen up and come out and smell your cake.”
“Cake?” Lissandra echoed, and Mavis grinned.
“Of course, cake. It’s your birthday, so layered chocolate cake it is. Your favorite, Gabe tells me, and Stone is itching to snare a piece. There’s only so long I can hold that man off. He has the sweetest tooth of all of Gabe’s men, so hustle, girl.”
That conversation set the ground rules for the next three weeks of frantic activity in preparation for her wedding. Stone, a brooding hulk of a man, was her ever present companion when a seeming never ending litany of people came to the apartment to get Lissandra ready for her wedding. They plucked and preened Lissandra, until she barely recognized herself.
She was waxed in places she didn’t even know you could wax, quite frankly, and, perhaps far more mortifying was the fact that she liked it.
Without any hair on her pussy everything felt far more sensitive, not helped by the tons of expensive, and sexy as all out, lingerie she was sent. Her stomach fluttered at the thought of Gabe having picked those out for her to wear. First off, she’d ignored them, like she had ignored the note that had come with a little, innocent enough looking brown box. She’d dropped it upon opening when it had revealed its contents.
A set of butt plugs.
You may want to make good use of these.
In the end curiosity had won out, however.
What would it feel like to wear lace and satin next to her skin, and to have that forbidden place stuffed full?
Downright decadent and arousing was the answer, and for the first time ever Lissandra felt like a desirable woman when she looked at her herself in the mirror. It might be all kinds of wrong to get excited at the prospect of Gabe seeing her in these, but she couldn’t help it. While she might not have seen him around, his presence was everywhere.
Lissandra lost count how many times she’d woken up with a start in the middle of the night, heart pounding in dread at some nightmare which still held her in its emotional grip, some unforeseen danger, which had sent her out of bed and into Gabe’s bedroom.
There, surrounded by his things, breathing in the scent of his cologne which clung to his bed sheets, she’d felt safe. It made no sense to her, this need to surround herself with him, but there it was. No doubt a psychologist would have a field day for her simmering attraction to a man old enough to be her father, her Daddy.
She hugged that word to herself, recalling the intense flash of emotion in his amber eyes, when she’d called him that during their discussion of her limits list. While she highly doubted she could bring herself to call him that during any kind of scene they might be involved in—there went her panties again—what was that saying? Never say never.
After all, when she stepped off the plane at Heathrow a few weeks ago, she could never have foreseen the turn her life would take. And now she was here, the morning of her wedding, staring at her reflection in the mirror.
“You look stunning, my dear.” Mavis dabbed at her eyes with her apron, and Lissandra smiled at her. This wedding dress had been another surprise. Lissandra had wanted to hate it, when it had arrived, had railed and cursed at the poor woman who’d delivered it.
“Take it back. I’ll choose my own damn wedding dress.”
Stone had interfered with a smirk on his scarred face. Not for the first time Lissandra wondered what on earth had happened to the man to cause such a jagged scar. It ran along the left side of his face, down into the side of his bottom lip and gave his mouth a lopsided appearance. With his shaven head and the myriad of tats on his beefy arms, shoulders, and neck, he looked the part of the bad guy, all right. Even if he didn’t act like that around her and Mavis. Her opinion of the big guy had been changed forever, when she’d caught him crying at The Notebook, especially after all the grumbling about having to watch it with her in the first place.
And then there had been the whole episode of the lost kitten that had somehow found its way onto the balcony. To this day it remained a mystery how that tiny scrap of feline had made it this high up. Stone had vowed to find its owner, which had turned out to be a three-year-old little boy with special educational needs who lived on the third floor of the apartment building. He’d taken the kitten with him into the lift when he was not supposed to. The tiny feline had jumped out of his jacket pocket unseen and must have somehow come up in the lift to Gabe’s apartment, and eventually the balcony.
“I dare say he jumped into a delivery box. Boss will be furious if that happened. If a kitten can get through, then who knows what else might.”
The entire overhaul of Gabe’s security that had followed that incident had been overkill as far as Lissandra was concerned, but she would always remember the careful way Stone had held that tiny life in his hands, and the way Gabe’s voice had softened over the phone when she’d tried to plead with him to let her keep it. Oh, deary me, her fiancé’s voice alone did strange things to her insides.
“Lissa, you can’t. That kitten must belong to someone, and Stone will find out who. Also, when you find out how that animal got up to my apartment, ensure that leak is dealt with, Stone.”
She shivered recalling the ice in his voice on those last few words. Gabe was not a man to be crossed, as Stone had reminded her when she’d thrown that hissy fit over the dress.
“I’ll take that, and you may go,” he’d said to the white-eyed, pale young woman who’d tried to give her the dress. Addressing Lissandra, he’d continued. “If the boss sent this, then he wants you to wear it, simple as. No point taking your foul mood on the messenger, Miss Lissa.” He’d tempered the grumbled words with a wink.
“Boss got great taste, so, at least look at it. No point in cutting your pert nose off to spite your pretty face now.”
Lissandra had looked at the damn dress in a huff, wanting to hate it, but, instead had fallen instantly in love with the shimmering creation of white lace. Long sleeved with a modest neckline, it left her back bare, skimmed her hips and ended in a train. It was elegant, sophisticated, and sexy all at the same time. With her make-up and hair professionally done by the small team that had turned up at the crack of dawn, the woman who stared back at her from the mirror seemed older, somehow.
“Here, before I forget, this will cover something old, borrowed, and blue all in one.” Mavis produced a delicate, blue, and antique looking garter and held it up for Lissandra. “This was my grandmother’s. She wore it her wedding, and every woman in my family has worn it since on her big day. I never thought I’d get the chance to pass it on, being that my dear John and I didn’t have any children of our own, so, please take it.”
Lissandra’s instant denial died in her throat, seeing the shimmer of tears in the dear old lady’s eyes. She didn’t trust herself to speak, so simply nodded, and with a grin on her lined face, Mavis got to her knees and disappeared under Lissandra’s skirt to slide the delicate fabric onto her thigh.
“There, now you’re ready.” Red faced from her exertion, Mavis straightened and smiled at Lissandra. “You are ready, right? Because it’s a bit of a drive, and that boy will lose his shit if we’re too late.”
Lissandra laughed at the unexpected cuss word coming from Mavis, and the older woman winked. “Oh, I know, but sometimes bad language is warranted.” She held out her arm, grasped Lissandra’s stunning bouquet of wildflowers, and led her out of the bedroom.
Stone’s low whistle of appreciation made Lissandra’s cheeks heat, and the big guy winked at her.
“Well, Miss Lissa, told you the boss got good taste. With that, I’ll be off to let him know you’re on your way. Luca here will ride with you in the limo.”
Another one of Gabe’s security stepped up and nodded at her. He was even taller than Stone, if less wide with not as much muscle mass, but the grim determination around his blue eyes left Lissandra in no doubt that he was just as deadly. All of Gabe’s men had that quiet air of danger which surrounded them like an invisible cloak. Strangely enough, Lissandra didn’t find that strange anymore. Far from making her uneasy, it made her feel protected, cared for, and if that wasn’t a sure sign that she’d lost the plot once and for all then she didn’t know what was.
“You ready?” Luca asked, and Lissandra took a deep breath in and nodded.
“As ready as I’ll ever be.”