Chapter Nine

Hadley

How had the best night of my life landed me here? I felt cheap. Cheap and weak. One night with the vagina whisperer and my sensibly predictable life had been turned on its head. And for what? Seeing Blake kissing that woman brought reality crashing down around me. He was nothing like the guy I’d fantasized about. I’d just wanted him to be. Well, it was time to cut my losses and return home. Mom and Tilly would help me raise the baby and by the time he or she was old enough to understand, I would have a plausible excuse as to why their father wasn’t a part of our lives.

“God, Hads, if I’d known she was there, I never would have stopped by,” Cat declared. I stared out the window and contemplated her words. Her hand grasped mine and squeezed. “We’ll figure this out. I promise,” she assured me. She was wrong.

“I don’t think I can do this,” I voiced through my tears. “This...the move, the job...I appreciate everything you’ve done, but I think it’s time for me to go.”

“Honey,” she pleaded.

“No,” I said, turning my tear-stained face in her direction. “I needed to see it. I’m just thankful it happened now instead of later.” When I turned back to the window, she let out a deep sigh.

Another moment passed before she tried again. “I want to say something and I need for you to listen. Do you think you can do that?”

“Sure.” My lackluster response caused her to let out another sigh. I didn’t mean to upset her, but what did she expect?

“When I first met Zane, I thought he was an ass. Don’t get me wrong. I was attracted to him, but he was a real jerk. Late one night, not too long after I’d started working for him, I was awakened by the sound of someone beating on the wall adjacent to mine—right above my head, in fact. Keep in mind, Zane’s apartment—now ours—shares a wall with yours.” She had my full attention. I had no idea where this was going, but I was intrigued. “I didn’t make that connection at first, probably because I’d had a few drinks and it was in the middle of the night, but that’s irrelevant. What mattered was that someone was beating on the damn wall. As I lay there feeling irritated, I became aware of a certain rhythm. Dum—dum, dum, dum—dum, dum, dum—dum da-duuuuuuum,” she chanted. Her eyes lit with amusement. “Sound familiar?”

“Rocky?” I asked, with a snort of humor.

“It was “Eye of the Tiger” to be exact.” Then she added, “Only, I didn’t remember the words that night, so I made up my own.”

“This I’ve got to hear,” I dryly remarked. Her snort of laughter made me smile.

“Pffft, I can’t remember them now, but clearly I missed my calling as a song writer.”

“No offense, but I’m so lost right now. What does Rocky have to do with Zane?” I asked.

“The next morning, when I showed up for work, I came face to face with a woman. Not only was she gorgeous, but by the state of her undress, she’d clearly spent the night.”

“And she had a thing for Rocky?” I asked, thinking how odd that was.

“There was no Rocky. The wall-banging was actually Zane giving her the nasty.” My eyes bugged, which made her laugh again. “Tell me about it. The banging noise was her head hitting the wall with each pounding thrust.” Visions of Zane thrusting to the beat of a Rocky song assaulted my brain and I burst into laughter.

“You laugh now but believe me when I say it wasn’t funny then,” Cat huffed.

“I’m surprised she wasn’t walking funny after that,” I responded through more laughter.

“You want to hear the best part? When I saw her standing there, I began to put two and two together. In order to soften the blow, I made up a story about how she was his decorator and had to spend the night because she’d been up so late hanging pictures on his wall. Hence, the pounding.” This was so ludicrously funny I thought I might pee myself from laughing. Then I thought of Blake kissing that woman and the laughter turned to tears. “Oh, Hadley,” Cat sighed.

“Did it not kill you to see him with her?” I asked, wiping the tears from my face.

“Yes and no. As I said before, Zane was a jerk. He had yet to endear himself to me. That wasn’t the only time, though. Another night, I caught him in the pool with a woman.”

“Let me guess, this time it was the swim instructor?” I teased.

“Ha-ha. No, it was an employee from Whisky’s.”

“They were having sex?” I asked, while thinking there goes swimming in that pool!

“No, but he might as well have been.” When she glanced over and saw my blank expression, she let out another humor-filled snort. “We weren’t together then, but the man was so hot, Hadley. I was fighting the attraction, but God was I losing. I saw them from my living room window and shouldn’t have watched, but I couldn’t seem to look away.”

Curiosity getting the better of me, I asked, “What were they doing?”

“Oral,” she said. The visions of Zane thrusting to Rocky morphed into him going down on some chick in a swimming pool, and I couldn’t help but wonder about the logistics of underwater cunnilingus.

“Wow. Zane must have lungs of steel,” I noted.

“Not in the pool, silly, beside it,” she clarified through her laughter.

“I was gonna say...” I muttered, which made her laugh even harder. Again, I wondered where this was going.

We pulled into the parking garage and Cat found a spot to park. She turned off the ignition, swiveled to face me, and finally answered my question. “My point is this: these guys are macho, alpha men. Zane went to high school with Hunter and he and Blake served in the army together. All three had rough childhoods. All three have commitment issues.” Her phone trilled, indicating she had a call. “Hang on,” she murmured as she answered the call. After a minute or so of listening to the person on the other end, she mouthed, “Sorry, I need to take this. Let’s go inside.”

Wayne and one of the servers, Hillary, I think her name was, were standing in the doorway when we arrived. Wayne took one look at my swollen eyes and sighed. I wasn’t in the mood for his crap this morning. If he so much as breathed in my direction, I would kick him in the testicles and rip his curly locks from his head. As if sensing his manhood was in jeopardy, he stepped aside and silently let us pass by.

Cat ended her call right as we reached the office. “Sorry about that. Where was I?” she asked.

“Commitment-phobes,” I uttered as I plopped onto the chair opposite of her.

“Yes, these boys are macho, alpha commitment-phobes,” she repeated.

“Yet you’re married to one,” I pointed out.

“Just because they have trouble committing, doesn’t mean they can’t. Zane would never cheat on me.”

“And you know this how?” I asked.

“Because he loves me. He cherishes the life we’re building. I’m not saying it’s perfect. We argue and have our differences, but at the end of the day, we chose each other. He’s still a controlling ass and I’m still...me.”

“I’m really happy for you, but I don’t see what this has to do with me.”

“Belinda isn’t Blake’s girlfriend. Neither is Courtney and neither are you,” she answered.

“Courtney?” I asked.

“The woman from this morning.”

Something she said earlier bothered me and I decided to mention it. “Blake had a bad childhood?”

“His dad left when he was a baby. He doesn’t like to talk about it, but I honestly think it would kill him if you walked away without giving him a chance to know his child.” And there it was, the painfully heartbreaking truth. The anger that I’d been holding on to slowly began to slip. I didn’t want to take him from his child. I just wanted things to be different. “Can I give you some advice?” she asked. I opened my mouth to answer, when a knock came at the door. “Come in!” she called out. Wayne stepped in and I tried not to groan in annoyance.

His eyes came to me and softened. Then, in a very un-Wayne-like tone, he asked, “Darlin, did somebody hurt you?” His words scored through me. The heartfelt way in which they were delivered made me feel as if he actually gave a damn. I knew this wasn’t the case, but at that moment, when I was feeling so very vulnerable, it resonated, and I burst into tears. The next thing I knew, I was on my feet and wrapped in the warmth of Wayne’s arms. “Tell Wayne all about it,” he murmured.

After crying it out, we sat back down, and I did just that. For Cat’s sake, I glossed over the actual event, but I gave details on everything that came after.

When I was all talked out, Wayne asked, “Do you feel better?” I thought about it for a second and realized I did feel better.

“Actually, I do,” I replied.

“Good girl. Now, I have just a tiny piece of advice for you.” I glanced over at Cat and she shrugged. Wayne’s face scrunched in disapproval. “Don’t look at her. She already tamed the beast. You’re still a novice who is clearly in dire need of instruction. By the way, when kitty Cat’s not around, I want to hear all about that man’s beast,” he added. Cat coughed and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“Your advice,” Cat cut in before he took off on another uncomfortable tangent.

He gave Cat an epic eye roll before turning back to me. Patting my leg, he advised, “Don’t cut him out. Invite him to be a part of your child’s life—don’t demand. Make him feel wanted but don’t pressure. You may decide he’s not the man for you but that doesn’t mean he’ll be a bad father to your child. You might also find that he’s everything you’ve ever wanted. You’ll never know if you don’t give him a chance.”

“You act as if you know this from experience.”

“You have no idea,” he murmured.

I was about to push for details when we heard, “Cat, are you heeeeere?” shouted through the bar. All eyes shot to me and my breath literally froze inside my lungs. Blake’s here!

Turning to Wayne, I gasped, “What do I do?”

He smiled and said, “That’s easy, my dear. You listen. Then, you negotiate.” What was he talking about?

“Negotiate what?” I screeched.

“What do you want?” he asked.

That was just it. I didn’t know what I wanted...or did I?