Ever since he surprised me after the shower and I lost my towel, I’ve been feeling hyper-aware of Gunner’s physical presence. There’s this… heat to him, that practically radiates off of his body whenever he’s anywhere in the vicinity. It’s like he sends out these sexual waves or something. It’s incredibly distracting.

During dinner, it wasn’t so bad, because at least there was a kitchen island between us. After we ate, I made sure to scoot as far to one end of the couch as possible, to keep a comfortable distance away from him. But somehow, as he coaxed me into telling him more about Eden, I guess I somehow started moving closer? Or he did? But whatever happened, before I realize it, I look up at him and he’s right there. His eyes are deep blue. Penetrating. They stare into mine for a few moments, then dip down to look at my lips, which I realize I’m biting in… anticipation.

My whole body goes rigid. I’m frozen in my spot. Because I know if he makes the slightest move toward me, I’m completely lost. I’ll let him kiss me. I’ll let him do anything to me.

God, I want him to do… everything to me. So badly…

Way back in a corner of my mind, there’s a tiny voice that’s pleading with me to resist, to move, to do something to break the spell. But that voice is drowned out by the louder one — the one that’s hammering in my ears, begging him so hard to touch me that for a horrible moment, I think I’m actually yelling it out loud.

Slowly, one corner of his mouth goes up in a wicked grin, and I’m sure I’ve said it out loud. But then the grin is gone and his eyes turn wild, almost savage. His voice wraps itself around me like a rope pulling me toward him, and I can’t escape — God, I don’t want to escape.

“Jesus Christ, Alix,” he growls low and deep in his throat, almost angrily. “I can’t resist you no matter what the fuck I try.”

Then his mouth crashes down on mine, and it’s not tender, or sweet, or even kind. It’s borderline vicious, borderline painful… and exactly what I want. A moan rips from my throat as he grabs a fistful of my hair and forces my mouth open, his tongue finding mine and claiming it. Instantly, I’m dizzy, my center of gravity shifting, and then I realize he’s lifted me up and brought my whole body down onto him so I’m straddling him. As our mouths devour each other, I feel the hot steel of his need between my legs, pressing against my throbbing core. Gasping at how good it feels, my body takes over, and before I even know what’s happening I’m grinding myself against him, my body in control, my mind only a helpless witness to it all.

He unfists my hair and pulls my shirt off over my head in one motion, barely breaking the kiss. Then my bra is off, and he’s taken one breast in his large, callused hand. His lips and the rough stubble of his beard slide against the skin of my neck, soft/hard, until he reaches my sensitive nipple and catches it between his teeth. A loud cry rips from me as I jolt against his cock, the pleasure-pain sending an electrical current straight to my core. I’m soaking wet, I can feel that I’m soaking right through the fabric of my jeans, and all I can think about is less fabric, I need less between us, I need to feel the heat of him against my pussy, oh god… Then my fingers are fumbling clumsily at his waist as I keep grinding against him, trying ineffectually to unbutton his jeans and mine. My brain is frantic, and I’m so close to coming I think it might even happen before I can get any closer to him. He sucks and teases at my the tight bud of my areola until I think I might go insane with need. I can hear myself pleading with him, nonsense phrases I just keep repeating with his name, but he seems to know what I mean, because with a grunt he picks me up off the couch and carries me down the hall to his room.

Then I’m on the bed on my back and he’s unbuttoning and yanking off my jeans. I lift up my hips and help him. Inside I’m saying oh, god yes, thank god, oh please oh please… as he pulls off his shirt and kicks his jeans to the side. His cock springs free, huge and gorgeous, and I think about stopping to take him in my mouth, but then he’s on top of me, grabbing my wrists and holding them together over my head.

“This will be my way,” he growls, his jaw tight. “Beg if you want.”

Then his mouth comes down to nip and suck at my other breast, and I cry out again, writhing underneath him. He teases and teases, his free hand maneuvering the head of his cock to slide against my soaking lower lips and entrance. I gasp again and angle my hips, trying to trick him into sliding partway in, but he yanks roughly up on my wrists, showing me who’s boss. I can only wait for him to enter me, to make me come — half out of my mind and my breath rasping painfully in my throat.

He slicks against my painfully swollen clit, over and over. He chuckles low in his throat at my thrashing, loving that he’s driving me higher and higher, but refusing to give me what I need. I can hear his breathing speed up, too, and I know he’s getting closer. I pray like hell for the moment he’ll lose control and have to take me. Finally, just when I think I’m going to go completely insane, he lets out a low, tortured groan and raises himself up.

Gunner reaches down over the side of the bed for his jeans, and then he’s rolling on a condom and I want to cry with relief as he slides it on his pulsing shaft. He looks down at me, lids hooded with desire. Our eyes lock for a long moment. The calm before the storm.

Then, with an almost angry growl, he grabs me by the thighs and pulls me roughly toward him, thrusting his hips hard as he enters me all at once.

It’s… incredible. I gasp, my eyes flying open and then closing again as the wave of pleasure hits me like a tsunami. He pulls out and thrusts again, and I cry his name, bucking my hips against his. It’s explosive, both of us caught in the throes of something larger than the two of us. It’s more intense than anything I’ve ever known. I don’t even realize how close I am to the edge again until I’m coming, my whole body shaking and writhing with an orgasm so powerful I’m almost frightened by the force of it, but all I can do is let go and surrender to it. A few seconds later Gunner tenses, then I hear him roar his release. He explodes inside me, thrusting again and again, until he finally slows and stops, both of us completely spent.

We don’t speak afterwards. Not for a long time. I’m still gasping for air, so shaken that I’m clutching the bedsheets almost as if I’m afraid I’ll fly away if I don’t anchor myself to something. Gunner collapses next to me, a wall of heat and mass. For a few moments, I listen to the steady rhythm of his labored breath.

“Fuck me,” he mutters.

“Just did,” I manage to gasp.

He starts to laugh, so hard he ends up in a coughing fit. “Goddamn it, don’t do that. I’m trying to catch my breath here.”

“Do what?”

“Be funny.”

“Sorry,” I say, but I’m smiling. After the intensity of the last few minutes, it’s a welcome moment of levity. Also, it’s sort of thrilling to hear him laugh and know that it’s because of me. It feels sort of normal.

Also, it sort of helps to temporarily lessen the awkwardness of the fact that I just had the most amazing, explosive sex ever with a man I barely know

I’ve never had a one-night stand in my life. I could never understand how a person could just get naked and bump uglies with a person they just met. God, I’ve never even had sex with someone I wasn’t in a relationship with before.

And I sure as hell have never had sex that felt anything like that.

Is this normal? Is this what casual sex is like?

Not according to any of my girlfriends back home, it’s not.

So, maybe this is just what it’s like with Gunner.

I shiver.

Beside me, he yawns noisily and pulls me to him. “You cold?” he asks. Without waiting for an answer, he yanks the bedspread up to cover both of us, and closes his eyes. A few minutes later, his breathing deepens and slows.

In my head, the fog of sexual satisfaction lifts a little, to give way to a thin thread of worry.

I don’t quite know what just happened. I don’t know what, if anything, it all means.

And I haven’t got the faintest idea how I’m supposed to act around Gunner tomorrow.