My fingers push between the lips of Jessie’s pussy only to be instantly enveloped by her heat and the wet evidence of her desire. I find her clit and graze my finger over it a few times, spreading her juices with my finger and using that to help tease her. I can feel her body tremble beneath me and with each carefully organized swipe of my hand her fingers tighten in my hair.

Possessiveness sweeps through me in a wave of emotion I never knew existed. I was trying to do what was right, I was trying to be good to Jessie, but her words unleashed something inside of me I’ve never felt before. I couldn’t let her leave. I couldn’t let another man claim what was mine—even if it shouldn’t be.

“Allen!” she cries as I slide the tips of two of my fingers inside her. I don’t go deeply, I don’t want to hurt her; I need to make sure she’s ready to accept me. I’ve had limited sex in my life and never with a virgin, so I’m flying in the dark here. I just know that I want to make it good for her. Jessie is all that matters. I pray I don’t mess this up, that the memories continue to stay away so I can give her everything she needs. I want her to feel beautiful and special—because she’s all that and more. I sink my fingers in a little deeper and I can feel the evidence of virginity. I should probably use my fingers to break through it, stretching her before I try to go inside, but I can’t. Doing that seems to be cheating us both. I want her to feel me… my cock inside of her at the exact moment she loses her virginity. I want to be deep inside of her, watching her face; I want her to look at me, knowing I’m the one claiming her.

I reach over to the nightstand and take my wallet. Her eyes cloud with confusion as I sift through and find what I’m looking for. I don’t have much need for these things. Hell, this one has been in the back of my wallet for years. I put it in there when I hit my six months of being sober. There was a part of me that thought being clean and sober meant I would have a normal life, that I would want sex, that I would be free from the demons of my past.

I was so wrong, at least until Jessie… She has changed everything.

I drop everything to the ground except the condom and I look at her.

“I want to protect you,” I tell her. She has no idea of my past and couldn’t comprehend it, I’m sure. I’m clean. At first I was tested every six months during my sobriety and now every year, and I do that knowing there’s not a chance I could be infected with anything. Hell, I haven’t had sex in over four years and I’ve been sober for just as long—a little longer. But I keep getting tested because walking in that clinic is a reminder… a punch in the gut of how lucky I am. Because my first results and the ones after that might not have been good. I escaped my past by the skin of my teeth. I’ll never go back, but it doesn’t help to be reminded of what could have happened.

“Let me,” she says, taking the condom from my hand. My eyes never leave hers as we change positions and she’s sitting on her knees while I’m on my back. With trembling fingers, she wraps her hand around my hard cock and strokes me. She holds me timidly but by the second stroke her touch is much firmer. I hold my breath for a minute, afraid old ghosts will intrude—afraid I will remember the past and ruin everything. My gaze moves to her hold on my cock and just as the memories begin to try and push through, it’s Jessie that beats them back. Her hand moves under my chin and she pushes so that I look at her. “I want to see your eyes, Allen. Can I? I want to see them as I touch you. I want to make sure I’m doing this right…” she whispers, giving voice to her fears.

“You can have anything you want, Jessie,” I assure her, holding the side of her face gently, pushing my hand under her hair. She smiles, though I can still see a little fear on her face. She brings the condom wrapper to her mouth and tears the corner open with her teeth. It gives pretty easily and I find myself praying that condoms don’t have expiration dates. I have no fucking clue.

I watch as she fumbles with the latex, looking at it as if unsure. Then she covers the head of my aching cock with it. I shouldn’t have worried about my memories. With Jessie touching me, I can think of nothing but her.

“Am I doing this right?” she asks, sliding the condom over my cock. I’m stretching the latex tight. I don’t think I’ve ever been this hard in my life. I also have no idea if she’s doing it right, but I don’t want to have that discussion with her. My dick is covered and that’s what the goal is.

“You’re perfect, Jessie. Absolutely fucking perfect,” I assure her.

“Now… uh… what?” she asks, looking around, and it’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her I’m about as experienced as she is, but I don’t.

“Climb over top of me, sweetheart.”

“I…”

She breaks off as I help her slide astride me.

“That’s it,” I praise her gently. I let my fingers move down her shoulders and against her breasts, kneading them before moving down her stomach. “You’re so beautiful, Jessie. So soft and warm, sweet and delicate,” I murmur, watching the trail my hands make. “I love the feel of you.”

My hands move around to her back and then down to the round globes of her ass. I squeeze them, loving how full she feels in my hands.

“Allen, please,” she gasps and her body is pushing toward me. She’s on her knees swaying back and forth and I can feel the muscles in her legs tightening. She needs more and for the first time in my life I truly do too.

“Let me just make sure you’re ready, Mouse,” I tell her, my fingers sliding into her wet depths. She’s drenched, even more than she was before and her clit is pulsating against the tips of my fingers. I slide around the rim of her entrance, her juices gathering on my fingers. She’s more than ready for me. I bring my hand back out, her gaze trapped in mine. I let her watch as I bring my fingers to my mouth, sucking her sweet cum from my fingers.

“Oh… wow,” she gasps, her eyes dilating further, and the stunned look on her face, the way her swollen lips break apart in surprise, makes me smile…

I never dreamed I could feel so free having sex, let alone enjoy it to the point I was smiling.

“Slide down on my cock, Jessie,” I urge her.

She looks down where our bodies begin to join and I find myself doing the same. Slowly my dick disappears inside of her, inch by inch. I hold onto her hips, making her go slow—not wanting to hurt her.

“Allen… you feel so good,” she whispers, her voice full of wonder. “I feel…”

“Tell me, Jessie,” I moan, my eyes closing at how good it feels to be inside of her. She’s so tight, the walls of her pussy hold me perfectly. I wish I didn’t have the condom on. I want to feel my cock surrounded in her wetness, but even through the veil of latex I can feel how hot she is and how slick and soft her pussy is.

“Full… God, I feel so full, Allen,” she whimpers.

I let her lower down until I can feel my cock push against her barrier and then I tighten my hold, not letting her move.

“This is going to hurt, Jessie. There’s nothing I can do to stop that. But you’re in control, sweetheart. You decide if you want me out, or to go deeper. This is all you. We can keep it just like this and I can make you come…”

“But you… I mean… you’re not inside that far.”

“No… and I want to be, Jessie. I won’t lie to you. I want that more than I want to fucking breathe. But I can make it good for you just like this. I don’t have to take your virginity to make you feel good, Mouse,” I tell her, needing her to know that I’m happy just to have this. This with Jessie is more than I ever dreamed I’d have.

She looks at me and it feels as if there are age-old secrets in her eyes.

“I want all of you, Allen,” she answers. Then she shifts her legs so that she is settled completely on my lap. My cock thrusts through her virginity and I sink all the way to my balls inside of her.

And nothing…nothing has ever felt so good.