Four

 

 

Pink, purple, blue, orange and red paint the sky in front of me as the sun begins to set. Myla left about an hour ago when her kids came rushing out the door with Maddison chasing behind them. The need to be alone was strong and I knew Myla could sense it. She assured me she would pass the message on when she got back home.

There's no way I can see him right now after realizing that I ruined the one chance I had to have a family again. When I left Myla’s house, I rushed into the bathroom and cried, hard. My heart knew he was it for me from the moment I saw him at the bar. Hell, I couldn’t even look at another man since that night. And yet, my mind wouldn’t, at the time, allow my heart to get past what I thought was the truth.

Myla ended up holding me and just letting me cry. Finally, we went outside on the deck to sit. I didn’t want to talk, I just wanted to be left alone to wallow in self-pity over the choices I made.

“You’re a jerk, I know. . .” New Boyz starts playing from my phone.

Smirking, I pick it up. “Yo, Ah Panda. What’s up? Pick up any good-looking guys at the gym today?” I laugh into the phone. Reggie Deanching’s a photographer and sells his images in the book community.

We've been friends now for a few years, and I took to calling him asshole. The day I met Conti, Len, who was one of the women who was kidnapped, dubbed him Ah Panda as it was more family friendly. It's now stuck. But he knows it’s said out of love . . . well I let him believe that, anyway.

“Very fucking funny, C.”

“Hey, I know deep down that’s the only reason the panda would be working out,” I chuckle, trying to pretend everything is okay. “But for real, what’s up?”

“You sound off, C. What’s wrong?” Leave it to him to spot when my heart is in turmoil. Both he and Melissa, his wife and a photographer as well, have become close with me since we met. I tend to vent to him at times about my life. He gives me a man’s view and trust me . . . it helps a lot when it comes to writing out scenes from a male point of view.

Who knew that men didn’t think in detail like women do?

After a deep breath, I place the phone on speaker and begin to replay what happened the last few hours of my life.

“You need to talk to him, Crystal. You let your pride stand in the way of things too much. It’s good to have pride and hold your ground, but there's nothing wrong with letting that pride fall away occasionally.” I groan, he tells this to me a lot.

“I said I was sorry, Reggie. I’m ashamed of what I’ve done and don’t think I can face him. Knowing that I fucked it all up . . . I just can’t.” my voice is barely above a whisper.

“C, pride is like a glass plate. If you throw it against the floor it will shatter.” My nose scrunches up as I try to follow along. “When you allow your pride to fall in front of those who care about you, they'll bring in the glue and help put it back together. Will the plate ever be perfect? Nope, it sure won’t. But it’s fixed and useable. With time . . . that plate will grow stronger having two people working on it rather than just one.”

It takes a moment to absorb his advice. It’s kind of a fucked-up way to explain how relationships can be fixed when pride fucks things up, but I get what he’s saying . . . maybe. Sometimes I question his intelligence.

“The point I’m trying to make is you need to allow him to talk to you and try to work it out. If you don’t . . . well you'll regret it for the rest of your life,” Reggie says.

“He’s right,” Conti’s voice from behind me causes me to spin around. My face heats in embarrassment as I have no clue how much he's overheard.

“I’ll let you go. And Conti?” Reggie says, causing Conti to look down at the phone on the table. “Crystal’s an amazing woman. Don’t be an asshole.” After sharing his words of wisdom, he hangs up.

“I agree,” Conti murmurs, staring back into my eyes. “You ready to talk or should we wait until tomorrow? It’s getting late, and Maddison’s going to need to shower and go to bed soon.”

Glancing over his shoulder, I see she’s sitting on the steps counting her shells in her bucket. My heart leaps in my chest when she looks up at me and graces me with a sweet smile. At the thought of Conti leaving, my stomach clenches. That isn’t what I want and if I'm honest, Maddison is really capturing my heart with the pure innocence that shines from her. That, coupled with wanting to get to know her better, makes my decision an easy one.

“Will she be okay if she showers here? You both can spend the night. I have a lot of room. I mean there are extra beds . . . oh, that isn’t what I meant. Shit.” My cheeks feel like they're on fire, telling me that I’m turning bright red from embarrassment. The eagerness in my rushed words make it seem like I'm offering something quite different than how I intended it to sound.

The smirk he’s sporting shows that it didn’t go unnoticed by him either.

“That would be great.” His head bends and his lips go to my ear. After a quick nip, he whispers. “And after our talk, we'll get reacquainted.”

The gasp leaving my lips has him stealing a quick kiss before turning and telling Mads that they'll be staying here tonight. At her squeal of happiness, I shake my head to clear the fog he put me in.

This night isn’t going anything like I thought it would.

 

 

My pulse starts to race as Conti enters the living room where I waited for him as he read Maddison a bedtime story. An unknown feeling ran through me after the kiss he shared with me in the hallway.

I showed Maddison where everything was in the bathroom while he started the water. After giving them some privacy, I found myself pressed up against the wall, with his lips devouring mine. Hours passed, or so it seemed, until we finally pulled away from each other, gasping for breath. He then asked me to show him where Maddison would be sleeping so he could get the room ready for her.

As he finished his tasks while Maddison was getting cleaned up, I sat on the couch in a daze, trying to figure out what that kiss meant. It was the same as the first kiss he ever gave me. Like he was marking me, like I was branded with his name so no man would look my way.

My heart finally felt whole and put back together. It had started to repair when I saw him on the beach, and even more so watching him with Mads. But that kiss finished piecing it back together.

“She asleep?” I croak out as he sits down, and then pulls me onto his lap.

“Mmmmhhhmmm,” he murmurs into my neck. “She’ll sleep through the night. We need to talk, Legs.”

Hearing the use of the nickname he gave me that one night has goosebumps breaking out over my skin. When he said it the first time, I thought he meant something was on my legs. This caused me to look down and begin searching for whatever it was. Brittany and Conti started cracking up laughing. He explained the nickname was in reference to my legs, that seemed to be a mile long. Later that night, he added that he'd envisioned them wrapped around his waist as he made me his.

“I just need to hold you for a moment,” he mutters into my neck causing me to stiffen. Even knowing we need to have this discussion doesn’t stop the feeling of dread that washes over me. Fear that he’s going to walk away begins to fill my head and the need to run, to protect myself from the pain it will cause, hits me hard. And truth be told, if he does exactly that . . . my heart will never be able to recover.

 

CONTI

 

Her scent floods my lungs and I groan. She smells just like I remember, fuckin’ mouthwatering. When Brittany let it slip that Crystal wore Egyptian musk, my heart raced and an order was placed immediately. However, it didn’t smell the same. That's when I learned that it works with the body's pheromones so it smells different on every person who wears it.

Earlier, when Myla left and before I headed over here, Kai and I ended up talking for about an hour. When I explained everything from my side, he said she’s what a friend would call my boom. He chuckled at the look that crossed my face, trying to figure out what the fuck a boom was. He went on to explain that it meant she was my one. My soulmate. The one that made my whole world go boom.

Once he said that, it clicked. He went on to state that communication was key, and if the gods were on my side, that I would have a lifetime to make her happy and whole again.

Like Myla and his children have with him.

Shortly after Maddison woke up, she wanted to go outside, and asked if Melanie could join her. Kai and I settled on the deck shooting the shit and getting to know each other better as we watched the kids play along the beach. When he offered to help me get a job, since he was sure I would be moving there, I didn’t miss a beat by telling him I would appreciate it. The next discussion was what places would help with Mads, and if I would move my live-in nurse, Mari, to Hawaii as well. I didn’t know the answer to that since Mari had family in Florida. Plus, that’s a talk I needed to have with Crystal.

When I saw Myla walking back to her house from the neighbors, that’s when I realized that Crystal lives right next door. No clue why I don’t realize it sooner, since I didn’t hear Myla leave in a vehicle; but now that it was revealed, my mind spun with the thoughts of our children growing up with Kai and Myla’s.

Myla expressed that Crystal didn’t want to see anyone, but I wasn't about to let that happen. Plans of how I was going to get around her stubbornness began to overwhelm me. The need to see her and settle this shit was too strong. So, she would be seeing me whether she liked it or not.

She's my boom and I was determined to make her realize that.

Tonight.

Overhearing a male’s voice as I walked up to her house a few hours later wasn’t what I was expecting. The need to kill hit me and had my fist clenching. When I was close enough to hear the conversation, I stopped and relaxed. He told her to talk to me and that's the only thing that saved him. Well that and the fact he was on the phone not there in person.

Watching her get flustered when I was around her, left me hard as a fucking rock knowing that I affected her that way. It’s a heady feeling knowing that. The moment she left the bathroom earlier had my control snapping. There was no way that I could be around her another minute without taking those fucking amazing lips to get the taste of her. A taste that I’ve been craving for almost a year now.

Once my mouth met hers, I knew I wouldn’t be leaving Hawaii without her knowing she was mine, and mine alone. The idea of convincing her to take a trip to Vegas to get married hit me hard. My newest mission would be getting her to agree to this. Unfortunately, I couldn’t take credit for thinking of Vegas, that all goes to Kai since he offered up his private plane.

Again, without missing a beat I told him have it ready to go next week. There was no way she would be on board with the idea so soon. There was only one way for that to happen. And that way was to date her. Which isn’t something I’m used to. My mind can’t even remember the last time I went on one, it'd been that long. But Crystal was different, and I knew the only way to make her see just what she meant to me, was treating her different than I’ve ever treated any other woman who walked into my life.

Right now, however, I’m out of my depth. When I told her that I needed to hold her just for a moment, I didn’t expect her to go stiff. In all actuality, I was hoping she would relax more sensing that I'm not letting her go.

“I’m sorry. I should have said—” I slam my mouth down on hers to shut her up. Fuck her saying sorry. That isn’t what this is about. She’s already said sorry more than enough tonight. Now it's time for her to hear what I have to say. With that thought, I slow the kiss down and pull my mouth away from hers.

“We both fucked up. I should have told you about Mads, that’s my fault.” She begins to speak, but my hand covers her lips to silence her. “No, listen. Yes, you fucked up in assuming what you did. However, I was very much taken when you heard me talking to Mari that morning. We'll get back to that in a second.” Her face pulling tight lets me know she isn’t happy to hear that. “The reason I didn’t demand you to speak to me after what you said at the wedding reception is I thought you weren’t okay with being with someone who’s responsible for a special needs child. That knowing she’ll take up most of my attention at times, was too much for you to consider.”

Swallowing roughly to keep the emotions in check, I continue.

“I need you to tell me if you can deal with Maddison and her disability. I have custody of her and I’ll never let anyone come between her and me. She needs me . . . just as much as I need her.” My voice is nothing but a whisper at this point and my breath catches in my throat as I wait for her answer.

Other than the fact that I have to get her to agree to marry me—this is the other reason that stopped me from telling Kai to gas up his plane now.

Her accepting my sister. Accepting that she will be in my life forever. Accepting that at times, Maddison will come first before anything.

If she doesn’t accept that fact . . . then there's no way it will work between us.

I have a feeling that's the one thing that will break me for good.