Chapter 26

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The spicy, bold aroma of chili filled the kitchen in the Peterson house. Ingrid lifted her spoon, breaking the string of melted cheese against the side of the bowl, and took another bite. It was her second helping for the evening and one of the comfort foods she remembered growing up.

She wiped her mouth off on the paper napkin. "How long will Dad sleep?"

"Oh, he'll be out for the night." Ingrid's mom set another stack of soda crackers on the table.

Ingrid waved off the extras and sighed when her mom moved the plate closer. Since yesterday, her mom had made it her mission to feed her the contents in the kitchen, concerned for her health because of all the weight she'd lost while being homeless.

"It's only six thirty." She set down her spoon and lowered her voice. "How much worse is he?"

"Your dad is fine," said her mom. "Eat up."

"He's using the oxygen all the time when he's laying down now. Has the doctor tested his diaphragm?"

"Yes." Her mom stood from the table and opened the fridge. "Do you want more milk or I have some grape juice made?"

"No, mom. I don't need anything." She ran her hand over her short hair that her mom kept trying not to look at. "Please, tell me what the doctor has said about the setbacks."

When her dad's accident happened, they'd hoped for the best and were hit with a view of their reality. They were able to get to know patients in physical therapy at all ranges of paralysis. Some got better, some declined. There was never any hope her father would improve. They only hoped to slow down the damage. Losing the ability to breathe would mean he'd eventually need a tracheostomy. He was already on a liquid diet which was fed through a feeding tube because he had difficulty swallowing even the thinnest of blended food.

"They give him about six months until he'll need a tube." Her mom sat down. "He'll be all right."

She'd heard how all right he'd be since she was eight years old. No matter how optimistic her mother had made their home life, she couldn't hide the truth. Even as a young girl, Ingrid understood the big words, the big whispers, the big unspoken fears.

Stepping away from the table, she rinsed off her bowl and put it in the dishwasher. Having proof of how much had happened in two years depressed her. She'd lived each day surviving, away from the comfort of her family. To her, nothing was supposed to change at home.

Fear had been a constant in her life while on her own, and every hour she remained alive motivated her to stay that way. Food in her belly had her feeling blessed. All of that was manageable because she knew her parents were safe from Evan's anger.

She walked out of the kitchen to the living room and looked behind the drapes. The street empty of traffic, she scanned the area looking for the Notus member who guarded her. Her heart raced not finding anyone. She moved to the other side of the window and peered down the street. Her head hit the glass in relief.

Thad sat on his motorcycle behind a parked car. She could barely make out his head, but it was enough.

"Ingrid?" The urgency in her mom's voice pulled her away from the window.

She walked back into the kitchen. "Yes?"

"You didn't come back into the kitchen." Her mom caressed Ingrid's cheek. "I was thinking we should have a root beer float. Remember how we used to have one every Friday night?"

The float had been their special treat for making it through the week and an excuse to sit down with her mom and talk about how school was going. She smiled and patted her stomach. "I couldn't eat another thing. I'm stuffed. I think I'll go in my room for a while."

"We could watch a movie." Her mom wiggled her fingers in the direction of the living room. "Anything you want. You can pick. Even a comedy."

"Not tonight." She kissed her mom's cheek. "I don't think I could sit that long."

Her mom's forehead wrinkled. "Are you feeling okay? Should I make a doctor's appointment for you? You know, it might not be a bad idea to have everything checked over after living on the street. I know...well, it would be okay. Dr. Schwinner is still—"

"Mom." She placed her hands on her mom's shoulders. "I'm fine. Once I left Evan, I wasn't hurt physically anymore."

Earlier she'd answered her mom's questions about how she survived in more detail, knowing her mom needed the answers to accept what happened. She'd been truthful. It'd been hard, and she'd struggled through some of the questions.

"I just need some time by myself. Being back here is new to me." Ingrid softened her words. "I'm tired."

"It's your home. Your room is yours forever."

She hugged her mom to her chest. "I'll come out in a bit before you go to bed. Okay?"

Her mom nodded and grabbed on to her with more force than she'd expected. "Promise me that you'll be here in the morning. That you won't leave."

"Absolutely. I'm not going anywhere," she whispered.

"I love you," her mom said.

"Love you, too." She stopped, needing to know one more thing before she escaped to her room. "Mom, what happened to Daisy?"

Her cat wasn't the first thing on her mind when she was dealing with telling her parents what happened. But, when she'd gone to wash her face before dinner, it dawned on her that the litter box wasn't sitting behind the door of the bathroom, and she hadn't seen the cat since she came to the house.

Her mom shook her head sadly. "About a month after we received the email that you'd arrived in New York, Daisy escaped out the door when the visiting nurse came by to sit with your dad while I did the grocery shopping. I left food out for her and called and called her name, but she never came back. I couldn't leave your dad to go look for her and..."

"It's okay. I understand." She left the room.

Plopping down on the bed, she hung her head. She wasn't the only one who'd run away. Daisy probably went looking for her. Unused to living outside, the inside-only cat probably suffered before ultimately meeting her ninth life, and it was another unforgiving thing she'd done to someone she loved. She couldn't fault her mom. Her dad's care came first, and she never expected her mom to go traipsing all over St. John's looking for a cat.

She only had herself to blame. She should never have moved in with Evan. If she had continued living with her parents, she'd be graduating from the local cosmetology school. Daisy would be home. Her parents would be safe.

Her body vibrated from exhaustion. Everything was closing in on her. She hadn't expected her return to be easy. But, she had hoped she'd handle it better.

If she went to the bathroom, her mom waited in the hallway. If she looked out the windows, her mom called her attention away from what was happening outside. If she wasn't smiling, her mom fed her. If she stopped talking, her mom asked questions. If she showed any concern for her dad, her mom pretended everything was fine.

The constant supervision and fear in her mom's eyes rubbed her the wrong way. She moaned, rubbing her tired, dry eyes. It made her highly aware of what she'd put her parents through. Thank God, Evan lied to them and made it appear as if she was in constant contact with them. At first, she hated Evan even more for tricking her parents for two years. The more she thought about it, she realized what a blessing it was after seeing her mom fall apart while learning the truth.

She'd equally broke her heart and disappointed her that the story about her building a career wasn't true. If her mother had two years to suffer through what she'd done, she probably wouldn't have survived. At least this way, she was here to help soften the news and show her mom that she would be okay.

She still doubted her mom understood the amount of danger that Evan could bring into their lives. As long as her mom was preoccupied with her, she wouldn't take Evan seriously. Maybe she was rushing things. She'd need to be extra vigilant until her mom adjusted to having her home and the added dangers.

Standing, she stepped over to her bedroom window. In the privacy of her room, her mom couldn't pull her away from looking. She had to find out where Glen was and if he was okay. Not once during the last twenty-four hours had he relieved the other Notus members of watching out for her and her parents. She'd tried calling his phone several times and left messages, but he hadn't called her back.

At her window, she could see Thad better than from the living room. There were still a couple hours of daylight left. After that, she wouldn't be able to see which club member would take Thad's place.

She pulled the phone out of her pocket and dialed Glen's number again. It only rang once before going to voicemail.

"It's me again. Ingrid," she whispered. "Please call me. At least let me know you're okay. I'm wor—"

She pulled the cell away from her ear. His voicemail must be full. The automatic message system cut her off before she could even finish talking. Why wouldn't he be answering?

Placing her hand on the window, she watched Thad. She couldn't tell if he was in a good mood or a bad mood from inside the house. She fingered the window latch. It would only take her two minutes to run to the end of the block, ask about Glen, and get back inside her room. The whole time, Thad would be aware of her outside, and she'd remain protected.

She could be in and out without her mom stopping her.

It wouldn't be the first time she'd snuck out of her bedroom. Lou, her next-door neighbor, and former best friend would often meet her after her parents went to sleep, and they'd sit out in the yard talking about boys, school, graduation, college, dreams. Not making a sound, she slid the window open and removed the screen, setting it against the wall of her room before she could change her mind. The late-night escapes ended when Evan came into her life, and she lost all interest in keeping her friendships going. At graduation, Lou went off to college somewhere back east, and she'd moved in with Evan.

Throwing her leg over the windowsill, she slid her lower body out the window and let herself fall the twelve inches to the ground. Determined to get answers, she peered around the overgrown bush in the flower bed and found the street clear of traffic. She sprinted across the yard and ran down the sidewalk toward Thad.

She only made it halfway down the block, and Thad intercepted her, grabbing her arms to stop her forward motion. "What's wrong?"

Ingrid shook her head. "I've been calling Glen since last night. He's not answering. Can you check on him?"

He turned her around and nudged her back in the direction of her house. "You're not supposed to be outside."

"I need to find Glen, and I can't do that from inside when he's not answering his phone." She jogged to keep up with Thad's longer strides. "Have you even seen him today?"

"He's fine." Thad grabbed her upper arm and propelled her across the street.

She dug her sneakers into the grass when he led her toward the front door. "I can't go in that way."

"Why not?" asked Thad.

"Because my mom is already freaked that I'll disappear on her and if she finds out I left through my bedroom window, she'll hover over me more and I...I don't know what I'm doing." She put her hand on her forehead. "I need to talk to Glen."

"I'm sure he'll contact you—"

"No, I need him now." She panted. Her body tingled as if she wasn't getting enough air. "Please. Call him and prove to me he's okay."

"Not until you take a big breath for me and calm the fuck down." Thad waited until she drew air into her tight chest and let it out. "Again."

She rolled her eyes. If she had to jump through hoops and do a sobriety test to find out about Glen, she would.

Thad grabbed her arm again and led her toward her bedroom window. "Show me how good you are at hiding."

She stepped behind the rhododendron bush. Thad acted like she wanted to be outside or she wasn't afraid of Evan driving by. She was. More than she wanted to be, but Glen had promised to be with her. Someone needed to look out for him, too. Because of her, he had a target on his back.

Thad watched her and lifted his cell to the side of his head. After several seconds, he said, "Yo."

She stepped forward, and Thad pointed his finger, sending her back against the house.

"I haven't seen a thing, except Ingrid running down the street and demanding that I call you."

She caught her lip between her teeth. Thad didn't have to repeat her behavior to Glen that way, making her sound like a psycho with head damage. She'd made sure it was safe.

"She's concerned about where and what you are doing?" said Thad, raising his brows at Ingrid. "Claims you won't return her calls."

Thad looked down at the ground. "Gotcha. I'll tell her."

She thrust her hand through the bush, wanting to speak with Glen, and watched Thad disconnect the call.

"You've got to be joshing me?" She slapped at the branch. "Would it have been so hard to let me talk to him before you hung up?"

"He wants you inside your bedroom, the window closed, and then he'll call you on your phone." Thad motioned her to climb into the house.

"Do you swear it?" she said.

He dipped his chin. She turned, put her foot on the side of the house and hoisted herself to the window edge and climbed into her bedroom. Scrambling to her feet, she quietly put the screen in, closed the window, and flipped the latch.

Thad walked away putting his cell to his ear again. She laid her hand on the glass wanting to knock and get his attention but knew any noise would bring her mom to her room. He better not have lied to her about Glen calling her.

Grabbing the phone Glen had given her out of her back pocket, she held it in her hands and sat on the edge of the bed. The Notus members obviously could get ahold of each other when needed. A benefit that wasn't extended toward her.

She swallowed. Since leaving Glen and coming home, she'd struggled with worrying about losing the closeness she'd had with Glen and the knowledge that his priorities seemed to push her away.

Her phone vibrated. She answered. "Glen?"

"Yeah, it's me." His deep voice settled over her. "You need to stay in the house for a few days until we have a better grasp of how Kingsley is going to react to you being back home."

Maybe because she was tired or maybe because she missed him or maybe because he'd promised she could call him whenever she needed and he refused to answer or maybe because they'd had sex and there was no doubt that what they'd shared together was special, she started crying.

She clamped her lips together to keep Glen from knowing he'd angered her enough to reduce her to tears. She hated not having control of her emotions.

"Ingrid?"

She inhaled through her nose. "I heard you. I have no problem staying inside if I can see you or at least talk to you."

"Is everything going okay with you and your parents?"

"Yeah." Her spine gave up the fight, and she flopped onto her back. "No. I don't know."

"What's going on?"

"It's the way they look at me." She stared up at the ceiling. "I've disappointed my mom. She's afraid of what I'm not telling her and I know she's imagining me standing on a street corner for the last two years fucking every man who hands me twenty bucks and sharing needles to escape the damn rain. It's even worse seeing what I've done to my dad."

"Ingrid..."

"I know what he's thinking, Glen. I can see it in his eyes. Dad's angry at himself for not being able to protect me. My returning home pushed him back into hating his condition, the wheelchair, the oxygen...life. He can hear everything I say. It hurts him. I've hurt him. He was such a proud man before his accident, a-and if he weren't paralyzed, he would've killed Evan the moment I came to him for help. He was always my hero. H-he would've protected me in a heartbeat if..."

"Blue, stop." Glen blew out his breath. "Is your mom going to let me in if I come to the door?'

She sat up and sniffed. "Of course, she will. Are you coming over?"

"I'll be there in twenty minutes. Stay inside." He disconnected the call.

She put her phone on the bed, rubbed her face, and her gaze fell on an old picture of her and Lou on her dresser. Running the palm of her hand over her head, she breathed through the heaviness in her chest. Would Glen like her with long hair? At least, longer?

She'd had it shaved at the homeless shelter after a required health inspection to qualify for a bunk with fifty others, and they found lice in her long hair. Shocked and new to living on the street, she allowed the female volunteer to shave her head in exchange for a warm, dry cot. The drastic change in her appearance destroyed all her self-esteem. She'd kept the look because it was one more thing that helped her hide from Evan and it also kept her from getting lice again when she bunked in the shelters, which were filthy.

Now, she wished she looked prettier. For Glen.