CROW BARELY LOOKED at me when I went down to the breakfast buffet the next morning. Shitsticks, had I ruined things with him? My brilliant idea hadn’t been so brilliant after all. Now I felt like a big loser, and everyone kept side-eying me.  I’d be the talk of the tour for the next day, at least.

I stacked my plate with bacon, then looked around for somewhere to sit. Polly and Damo sat at one end of a long table. I headed to the other end of that table. I didn’t want Polly scowling at me over my bacon. I hated being on bad terms with her, but I knew her well enough that when she got like this, it was best to keep my distance.

And I could hardly sit down beside Crow. I could imagine Polly’s reaction to that.

This was some fancy breakfast buffet. I was becoming an expert on them with this tour. Maybe I could start a breakfast buffet blog. The place even had a guy who cooked eggs to your request. I’d have been all over that any other morning, but today I just wanted to eat and get out of here. Now I knew how Elijah had felt when everyone was mocking him. It definitely wasn’t as much fun when I was the target.

A couple of the roadies gave me prolonged glances. I gave them the finger and went back to my bacon. If they thought I’d be jumping into their beds, they could forget it. Crow was the only man for me. I’d decided that back in Berlin, and Amsterdam had confirmed it. Brussels was meant to seal the deal, but the deal wasn’t being sealed.

Jax sat down beside me. Then Matt and Fiona joined us.

I didn’t like that grin on Jax’s face.

“Don’t start. Don’t even start,” I told him. I looked down at my plate, not wanting to see the laughter in his eyes.

“What’s going on?” Matt asked. “I feel like I miss half the stuff that happens on this tour.”

“That’s because you and Fiona cocoon yourselves up, away from everybody else,” Jax said. “You never hang out, and you never come drinking. You’re got to socialize sometimes.”

A weird expression flitted over Fiona’s face. I had no idea what was going on, but she really didn’t seem comfortable. She’d had a pretty wild reputation in the past. The whole world knew that. It wasn’t a hidden thing. If she wanted to live that reputation down now, that was her business. She and Matt seemed really happy together. Sometimes I envied their closeness. They didn’t seem to need anyone else.

“They don’t have to socialize,” I said. “It’s not like they’re missing out on anything, just boring talk about gear. Drinking with you guys isn’t exactly riveting.”

I smiled at Fiona, and she smiled back. If she had secrets, she should be allowed to keep them. I’d never spoken to her much. She kind of intimidated me, being a famous model and all. But then she’d helped out, giving us tips at the last photography shoot, and I’d wanted to learn more from her. Also, it’d be better to hang out with someone other than Polly for a while.

“Hey, Fiona, can you teach me how you do your eyeliner sometime?” I asked her. “I can never get mine quite right, and I end up with panda eyes onstage.”

“Sure,” she said, and nodded.

A chair scraped on the tile floor, and Crow got up from the table. I bolted down the rest of my bacon and followed him. We needed to talk. And we needed to do that somewhere without a hundred eyes on us.

He waited for the elevator. I rushed over and grabbed his arm.

“Hey,” I said.

Only I had no idea what to follow that with. What do you say in a situation like this? “Sorry I got sprung naked in your bed”? That didn’t seem appropriate. I wasn’t sorry I did it, anyway, just that I’d gotten caught.

Instead of talking, my entire body went into blush-mode. I could count the times I’d been lost for words on one hand, and this was definitely one of them.

I knew he looked at me, waiting for me to talk, but I couldn’t look back. Instead, I stared at that black hotel logo on the green carpet. That was some ugly but probably expensive carpet. I wanted to make a joke about it with Crow, but this wasn’t the right time. I didn’t know what this was the time for.

The elevator dinged. Now I’d have to get in with Crow, still not knowing what to say. The two of us alone in that tiny space. I hated feeling this uncomfortable around him.

The doors shut.

“Fay, you can’t pull stunts like that,” Crow said.

“I wasn’t... I didn’t...” What the hell was I trying to say?

“You’re a good friend, Fay. Like a little sister. Well, not my sister. She’s nothing like you.”

I nodded, still looking at the floor. That was a brush-off. I wasn’t stupid.

“Let’s just keep things like they are,” he added.

I had to look up at him. I’d never be his little sister. I could be like that with Elijah and Damo and Jax, but never with Crow.

“I can’t. I’m not going to lie to you,” I said. I forced myself to look him in the eye, no matter how much I fluttered inside. “You might think of me as a little sister, but I don’t see you as a big brother. Far from it. This ‘friends only’ thing doesn’t work for me, and I think if you were honest, it wouldn’t work for you.”

He shook his head. Not like he was saying no, but like he had a thought in there that he wanted to go away.

With that beard covering his face, it was difficult to read his expression, but as much as he denied my words, his eyes said something different. He didn’t look at me like a guy looked at his sister. Not unless they came from a very dysfunctional family.

That prolonged gaze burned through me. It smoldered enough to burn me all the way through, stirring me up inside. He didn’t need to touch me or talk or anything like that. His gaze was enough.

The man wanted me as much as I wanted him, but something held him back. Something more than Polly. There was some big wall in his head, and I had knock it down. I could do that. I could be the bulldozer to his brick wall.

I longed to touch him. To reach out and grab his hand or stroke his arm. We didn’t need to kiss, even. I just needed my body in contact with his. Surely, that wouldn’t hurt.

But before I could act, the elevator doors opened, and he strode off to his room, leaving me alone.