John, Elias’s producer, has been saying some strange things since I started taking him through the house. It’s like I’m missing something. I can’t wait to get back to Elias and ask him what’s going on.

John’s excitement has been building throughout the tour. “April, I have to tell you. I wasn’t completely sold on your application, but after seeing your house, I’m very excited about our joint project.”

“Application? Project?” I repeat, confused, narrowing my eyes at him.

He dismisses my questions and pulls his phone out. “Let me make myself a note. I think I’ll even move the schedule around and have your house be our premiere for next season.”

I put my hand over the screen of his phone and he finally looks up. “John. I’m not sure I’m following you. What are you talking about? What application?”

“The application you sent in to be on our show,” he says.

I shake my head. There’s obviously been some mix-up. Then in the far reaches of my mind I rerun the conversation I’d had with Rachael right after meeting Elias. I can’t remember exactly what she said but it was something about applying for the show. This can’t be happening. “No, I didn’t.” I tell him and feel as if my world is getting ready to implode.

John looks at me as if I’ve lost my mind. “All I know is the owner of the house sent an application, complete with pictures. Why did you think I wanted to tour the house?”

“I thought it was because you were interested in renovations. You know, because you produce a renovation show.” I have a sinking feeling begin to pull me down. Elias asked me if I knew why John wanted to see the Manor. He’d looked so hurt with my reply. What I answered could have been completely misunderstood. He could think that I… And then if Rachael really did send in an application… No. My heart starts to race as I fight down panic. I take out my phone and call Rachael. When she answers, I don’t even ask her how she’s feeling. “Did you send in a request to be on Facelift Reno?”

Rachel is silent, and I close my eyes, willing her to say it’s all a big mistake, but instead, she says, “Yes. I sent the application. But I’ve not heard anything from them. Actually, with everything that’s been going on, I’d forgotten about it.”

My heart drops. “Rachael…” All I can think about is how this is going to look to Elias. This can’t be happening. I only hope that Elias doesn’t hear about this until I can explain.

“What?” Rachael asks.

I feel my eyes stinging. How am I ever going to explain this to Elias? “Don’t you see? Elias is going to think that’s why we said yes to Belinda. He’s going to think we planned this to get on his show.”

“But just explain it to him. He’ll understand.” I hear the concern in her voice, but I’m too stunned to care.

“I don’t know if he will.” Will Elias believe me?

I turn to John. “I’m sorry. We’re going to have to turn your offer down.”

He rubs the back of his neck and looks like he wants to argue the point. “Well, I’m sorry to hear that. I think it would make a really good project for us. Why don’t you two think about it for a few days and get back to me.”

I shake my head and blink back tears. “No. I don’t need any time to think about it. The answer is still no.”

“April, are you sure?” Rachael speaks up. I’d forgotten I still held the phone. “We don’t have the money to finish. They’re offering to help us. It’s crazy to turn them down.”

All of that means nothing to me. “Does Elias know about this?” I ask John.

John winces, “Yeah, I just told him. I thought he knew.”

No. My phone falls from my grasp and I have no reaction—it doesn’t matter. Nothing matters except getting to Elias and explaining. “I’ve got to find him.” I say, running out of the house and down to the barn where Filthy Arc is packing up. I can’t find him. Finally, I see Belinda and Wes cuddled in a corner.

I’m desperate. I have to find Elias. We can’t end like this. “Belinda, do you know where Elias is?”

Belinda sadly shakes her head. “I’m sorry, April. He left.”

“I’ve got to find him.” I run to my truck and head to the B&B. He’s got to be there. I make the trip in record time. My black silk dress snags on my truck as I jump out and run to the front door.

I’m breathing heavily as I make my way up the stairs and down the hallway to Elias’s room. I knock and wait, but he doesn’t answer. I knock again, “Elias!” I call.

Finally, the door opens, and I don’t wait for him to invite me in. I push my way past, and I’m shocked when I see his packed suitcase by the bed. His condemning eyes tell me all I need to know. It’s too late. He’s already found me guilty and a gnawing pain lances my heart. How could he believe me capable of being so underhanded? So heartless. “Why are you leaving so early?”

He doesn’t look at me. “I need to get back home.”

I’m not going to give up. I’m going to fight for him, for us. I go to him and touch his arm, but he backs away and I feel it’s already too late. “Why? I thought…”

He puts his hands in his pockets and shrugs. “Listen, it was fun, but I need to get back home. I’ve wasted enough time here.”

I gasp at his hurtful words. “Wasted…” I know he’s hurt and lashing out, but what we’ve shared should have meant something to him. How could he have dismissed us so quickly? Unless…it’s meant more to me than it has to him.

He picks up his suitcase and heads to the door. I have to try one more time. If he’d just listen. Are we not worth at least that much? “Elias, wait. It’s not what you think. Don’t you want to know what happened?”

He pauses, but still doesn’t meet my eyes. “You said you didn’t want your house on my show. You told me that the day I came to apologize to you at your shop. And now I find out…” He stops and looks down at the floor. “No, I don’t want to hear any more from you. It doesn’t matter. I’m done here.”

I hear what he’s saying. He’s done with me over something as silly as a misunderstanding. That answers one of my questions. What I’ve been feeling for Elias hasn’t been returned. It’s better to find out now before… My eyes begin to sting because I know it’s too late for me. I’ve already fallen in love with someone who will never trust me. “Oh. Okay, then.” I’m left in his room watching Elias walk down the hallway and out of my life.

That night, I lay on my bed fully clothed and stare at the ceiling, replaying every day I’d spent with Elias over and over in my mind. When sunlight shines through my windows the next morning, I don’t think I’ve even closed my eyes through the entire night.

I know I should get up, but I simply don’t have the energy. I roll over and close my eyes. Finally, sleep takes me away from the pain of losing Elias.

Persistent knocking at my door wakes me, but I don’t care who it is. The sunlight has dimmed, so it must be late afternoon. I roll over and close my eyes.

Later, I wake when I feel my bed dip. My first thought is that Elias came back. I wait for his arms to surround me and pull me close, but it never happens. Then I remember it never will. The sunlight has now changed to darkness.

“April. Are you okay?” Rachael asks.

I don’t even turn over. I simply ask, “How did you get in?”

“I have a key, you know. Honey, you’re worrying me. I’ve never seen you like this.”

I’ve never had a broken heart before. “What do you want me to say, Rachael?”

“Did you explain what happened?” Rachael asks.

Even if he’d listened, it wouldn’t have made a difference. “He didn’t care.”

“Oh, honey. Is there anything I can do?”

“I left my phone at the Manor, would you call my mom and see if she and Grammy will handle the shop for a while?” My throat is scratchy and dry.

Rachael rubs my back and answers, “Sure. Can I fix you something to eat?”

Food? When was the last time I ate? I don’t remember. “I’m not hungry. Just leave.” I don’t wait to hear if she does. I’m through. I close my eyes and sleep takes me back to Elias’s arms.

The next day, I find my phone on the kitchen counter charging. I mope around my apartment doing nothing constructive, just wallowing until I’m sick of my own thoughts. Sorrow turns into anger. No matter how many times I replay what happened, it always ends the same. What crushes me most is that Elias was so quick to jump to the conclusion that I lied to him. He wouldn’t even let me explain. By now I have to admit he’s not going to contact me. What little bit of hope I had for him to realize I would never use him like that slowly slips away.

My self-imposed isolation brings a very hard truth into focus. After going through the books, I don’t see any way Rachael and I can continue with White’s Manor. Even with the money we made from Belinda’s wedding, we still can’t make the quarterly mortgage payment and continue with the restoration. So, what’s the point in holding on to a house that’s a continual drain? I know that Rachael is barely making the bakery profitable. She has a son to take care of and his future to consider. Why did I ever think we could pull this off? I put it off as long as I can before I call Rachael and ask her to come over. She’s knocking on my door in under five minutes.

“What is it, April? How are you?” She comes in, looking miserable. Elias’s leaving hasn’t only been hard on me. I’ve made Rachael unhappy, too.

“I’m fine. Well, I’m better than I was,” I answer honestly. That’s the only way we’re going to get through this.

“Why don’t you call him and try to talk to him again?”

I shake my head slowly. “No, I think his silence is answer enough. We were never supposed to be anything more.” I’m through with feeling bad about something I didn’t even do. If he’s too afraid to listen and trust me, then that’s on him.

“I’m sorry, April. I never should have sent the application in without your approval.” Her head hangs and I see her eyes water.

I go to her and give her the hug that we both need. “You couldn’t have known, Rachael. But we need to talk.” I lead her over to my couch.

“This sounds serious.” Her eyes are filled with apprehension.

I nod. There’s really no easy way to tell her. “It is. I’ve been over the books several times, and I just don’t see how we can go forward with our business plan. I think we should put the house on the market and cut our losses.”

Her eyes widen and her face turns pale. “You mean, sell White’s Manor?”

Sadly, I nod. “With what we’ve already done on the house, we shouldn’t have a problem finding a buyer. I know this needs to be a joint decision, but with the money we’d get from the sale, we can pay the bank back, and you’d be able to put money aside for Henry’s college. We could breathe again. You’ve done a great job covering it up, but I know you’re barely scraping by each month. I thought this project would be an answer for both of us. But I was wrong.”

“No. April, this was going to be for us. Working at the bakery was what I did for Henry. I know you don’t like working at the florist. That was never your thing. This venture was going to be our dreams.”

“You’re right. The floral shop was never my passion. That’s why I’m giving my notice. I’ll work till we sell the Manor, and then I don’t really know what I’m going to do. I did really enjoy working on the house. I could look into doing some type of design or construction work or maybe travel for a while. Heck, maybe I’ll even buy a tiny house and travel all over the United States.” I manage a somewhat normal grin.

Rachael brushes away a tear and chuckles. “That sounds exactly like you.”

I nod—she’s right. “Yeah. It feels like me, too.”

Our gazes meet and we give each other a sad knowing smile. “You really think this is something we should do?”

I wish it weren’t, but I don’t see any other way. Cutting out losses now before we’re over our heads in debt is the logical thing to do. “I really do.”

Rachael nods slowly. “Okay. I’m in, then. Let’s do it.”

That’s trust. That’s what Elias should have felt, instead of jumping to conclusions. “I’ll contact Marsha tomorrow and have her get started putting it on the market.” We take a few moments to simply hug and cry a few tears over the dream we’re letting go.

After Rachael leaves, I pour myself a glass of wine. It will hurt seeing someone else own our house. But I know what we’re doing is the right thing. As for Elias, I know I’ll miss him dearly, but he’s made his decision. It’s time to put what we could have had behind me and move forward. He never promised me anything. We never even spoke of anything more than what he gave me.