Chapter 19

 

Kenzie knew she should not be kissing Camden, but her body wasn’t listening to her brain. Her traitorous heart pounded, and her arms acted with a will of their own, pulling him closer. Worst of all, her lips wouldn’t stop moving against his.

She ignored the warning bells going off in her head. All she wanted to do was get lost in the moment. Camden’s soft lips explored her jawbone, and she held in a moan. Her pulse raced and she threaded her fingers through his hair. She was in heaven.

And then reality truly sank in. She pulled back from him and looked at his eyes, filled with curiosity, and something else she couldn’t pinpoint. Desire, maybe. She wanted to silently give him permission to keep kissing her, to pull her to him and let her worries go.

But she couldn’t. She barely knew him. Just like she barely knew Mason. She took a step back from him and shook her head. “I’m sorry,” she whispered, still clutching the controller. She thrust it at him and took off for the car in an attempt to get her head back on straight.

“Kenzie, wait!”

She turned to face him, furious now at herself for letting the kiss happen. For letting her emotions swell. She wasn’t being rational, and it was going to cost her another piece of her heart. “Stop.”

Camden froze.

“I can’t do this with you.”

“Do what?” He looked pained. “It was only a kiss.”

And there it was, spelled out for her. He wasn’t getting serious with her. All he wanted was a physical relationship. He’d all but said it. Her chest grew hollow and she dug her fingernails into the palms of her hands. “I don’t know how else to say it. I don’t want your kisses.”

He stepped back like she’d slapped him in the face. He blinked, then nodded. “Okay. I got it. It won’t happen again.” He turned quickly and stalked back to the field to retrieve his drone.

Kenzie felt like throwing up. She walked around his car, opened the passenger door, and slid onto the seat. Her heartbeat sounded in her ears. She felt used. At least she hadn’t let anything more happen. At least she hadn’t married the guy, like she had Mason.

A sick feeling twisted her gut. Camden came around and put his things away, then shut off the light and closed the garage door. He got into the driver’s seat and started the car without saying anything.

The drive back to his apartment was filled with tension. Kenzie held her breath and waited for it to be over. All she wanted to do was go home and curl up in her own bed. Camden drove into the parking garage and pulled into a spot next to her car. He cut the engine and turned to her. “Listen, I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

“Yes. You were.” She ignored the guilty feeling that reminded her she had been enjoying that kiss.

“I don’t know what else to say.”

“Then don’t say anything. I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go to the reunion with me.”

He clenched his jaw. “I don’t think it’s a good idea for you to go, either. I haven’t from the start.”

Kenzie nodded. Maybe Camden was right. “Then I’ll stay home.” She got out of the car and pulled her keys out of her pocket.

Her hands shook as she unlocked her door and got behind the wheel. She drove to her apartment, and her heart didn’t stop pounding until she got inside and locked her door. She leaned up against the wood and closed her eyes, letting go of her suitcase handle.

That was the stupidest thing she’d ever done. How could she have let a stranger get into her car? Thank goodness nothing happened. At least, nothing more than his advances. She touched her fingers to her lips. They still tingled from his kiss.

The kiss she didn’t want. At least, that’s what she kept telling herself. She pushed off the door and walked to her bathroom. The apartment was small, but the bathtub was deep and had jets. She turned on the water and let it run as she got undressed. She slipped under the warm water to let the events of the day melt away.

And maybe by tomorrow she would be able to get Camden out of her head.

 

***

 

The spreadsheet displayed on Camden’s screen sat mocking him. He’d been trying to work on it for the last thirty minutes, but his mind couldn’t concentrate. All he could think about was how it felt to have Kenzie in his arms.

Camden pushed his office chair away from his desk. This was not working. He got up and walked to the window overlooking the city. He’d totally messed things up with Kenzie. How could he be so short-sighted?

He hadn’t known her long, but he was falling in love with her. And he knew she was skittish. Untrusting. He knew he should take things slow. And now he wasn’t sure he’d ever see her again.

He let out a slow breath and watched the traffic move along the street. Kenzie’s phone number was unlisted. He’d done a quick search and couldn’t find her address online. And did he really want to find her address? What would he do then? Show up on her doorstep? If she didn’t want him kissing her, she surely wouldn’t want him stalking her.

He sat back down on his office chair. Best to put her out of his mind. She didn’t want to see him anymore. He opened up the spreadsheet he’d been working on. If he couldn’t contact Kenzie, he’d bury himself in his work.

His cell phone chimed; his mother’s face showed on the screen, and he swiped to answer.

“Hey, mom.”

Her chipper voice came through the line. “How was the wedding?”

Unwanted thoughts of Kenzie popped into his head and he sighed. “It was fine.”

“Oh dear. What happened?”

Talking about Kenzie wasn’t high on his list of things he wanted to do. It was down around “scrub the toilet” and “pour salt in an open wound.”

“Nothing. How was Kelly’s doctor appointment? Did they find out if it’s a boy or a girl?”

“Well, that’s her news. You should call her. She’s sad you had to miss dinner yesterday.”

He probably should have left Kenzie and gone to dinner. He’d have avoided the regret he was now feeling for being so stupid. “I’ll call Kelly.”

“Back to your weekend. You were so evasive. Who got married? Was it a last-minute thing?”

He wasn’t going to get out of talking about it. He knew his mother would keep prying until he told her. “A friend of a friend. I went with a woman. It was her sister’s wedding, and she needed a date.”

His mother was strangely silent for a moment. “Lexi?”

“No. Lexi and I broke up.”

“Thank goodness. Sorry. Was that rude of me? I never liked her. She was not the one for you.”

He swiveled his chair around to face the window. “Don’t apologize. I’m the one who broke it off.”

“Who is the woman you took to the wedding?” Curiosity dripped from her voice.

“Her name is Kenzie.” Before his mother could get any ideas, he added, “She’s just a friend.”

His mother made a scoffing noise. “A girl doesn’t bring a friend to a wedding, especially in another state, without it meaning more.”

 There was no way he was going to admit to being her date for hire. “Mmm,” he said in a non-committal way.

“Believe me. She thinks of you as more than a friend.”

“Maybe.” He wanted to get off this conversation. “How’s work going?”

“I know you don’t want to discuss how many bedpans I emptied last night. Why are you deflecting? Who is this girl?”

“She’s only a friend, Mom.”

“Well, what does she do?”

“She designs jewelry.” An idea came to him and he opened a new browser window. He searched and found Ken Z Jewelry mentioned on several websites. Maybe he could find her through her jewelry business.

“What is she like? Have you dated her before?”

Frustration welled in him. “You want to know the truth? I like Kenzie. Maybe a lot. But she doesn’t feel the same about me, so that’s where we are.”

His mother sat on the other line, silent for a few seconds. Finally, she said, “How do you know she doesn’t feel the same?”

Was he really having this conversation with his mother? “She basically told me never to kiss her again,” he admitted.

“Oh.”

“Yes. So a relationship with her is out of the question. In fact, she’s mad at me right now, so I’m not even sure we’ll ever speak again.”

“Don’t give up hope. Maybe she just needs some time.”

He rubbed the back of his neck. “Maybe.”

He opened one of the jewelry websites. A delicate brooch in the shape of a beetle came on his screen. Photos of the brooch showed it at all angles, plus a closeup of Kenzie’s stamped signature. The website listed it at fifteen thousand dollars.

“I love you, sweetheart. If she’s the right one, it will work out.”

“I know, Mom.” He told her he loved her and hung up the phone, staring at the beetle. It was being sold by a reseller. No contact information for Kenzie. Then he remembered something about Etsy, and searched for her there. Her store came up, but no contact information was displayed. He thought about sending her a message through the Etsy website, but he hesitated. Would she be upset he was using her business to find her?

He sighed and sat back in his chair. Maybe leaving things up to fate was best.