Chapter Four
Emily turned onto the small lane, her truck dipping as it settled onto the gravel and dirt. Her headlights spreading a tinted flare to either side, illuminating the silver trunks of the aspen trees standing proud along the road. It reminded her of mountain pose in yoga. Focusing on yoga centered her and, boy, centering was necessary.
Adam sat beside her, quietly taking in the drive. When she stepped foot into the Wooden Nickel tonight, her thoughts had traveled along the lines of a dance and maybe a kiss. But when her body touched his and the moment of panic and guilt didn’t materialize, she reevaluated. Adam Conley had caught her three-year buried interest. Was it a one-time fluke? A blip in the solar flares? She didn’t want to take the chance that tomorrow’s guilt would drown her briefly happy interlude. So she’d offered more and he’d accepted, and now she was in unfamiliar territory.
She gripped the wheel tighter. Minute by minute.
He’d wanted to drive, but she held firm on that point. She was afraid Adam would take her to the river, or maybe even back to the ranch and the lake, and if anything would have nipped the night in the bud, it would have been that.
She couldn’t go near water. Period.
The decision to move to Fly Creek had been both a whim and an escape. She’d known nothing of the town except from a pamphlet about Sky Lake Ranch. Finding herself in a town with not only a lake, but a river seemed beyond masochistic. But it had a connection to Drew, no matter how frivolous that connection truly was. So she’d planted new roots near large examples of the same damn thing that had torn her old roots out and chopped them up in to unrecognizable bits.
A laugh escaped her lips.
“What’s funny?”
His voice wasn’t deep or husky, and yet it crossed the bench seat and stroked her senses. Invading her, just as it had that day in the shop. Adam Conley was somewhat of a mystery. He fit in with all the local cowboys, right down to the boot swagger that had women stopping in their tracks. But some of his speech and manners screamed city. She shook her head, breaking the spell. It was a mystery that wasn’t hers to solve.
No one knew why he was in town. She may be an aloof resident of Fly Creek, but she still heard the most cursory of things. Maybe that was another reason she’d focused on Adam. She respected history and the need to keep it personal and to one’s self.
“Nothing. Just thinking.”
She chanced a quick glance. He frowned before turning to look out the window.
“You been up to Clapton Field?”
He shook his head. “Not yet. Shelby runs a pretty tight ship. Not much time to explore.”
His arm extended along the seat, and she had to admit he looked good all cocked up in the corner of her truck. It wasn’t a permanent position, but it suited her needs and vision for the moment. Funny how his hands caught her attention when there was so much more of him to notice.
She’d noticed the long dark lashes framing his baby blues during the dance. They were the kind women paid money for, but usually were a waste on a man. Emily didn’t think they were wasted on Adam Conley. If anything, they made him less perfect. More approachable. And approaching seemed like a better and better plan.
She was totally going to approach the carved-from-granite body she’d been plastered against while they danced, because suddenly learning about his abs and all they entailed seemed very important to her night.
The lane ended in an open field, the mountains the backdrop to her left and the lake far in the distance, the river branching off of it. Coasting to a stop, she cut the engine and sat back. Surprisingly, she wasn’t nervous. Another sign that she’d made the right decision. One night to scratch an itch. Leave her shell and remember something other than heartache and pain. One night to embrace the cowboy who had awakened something she’d thought was destroyed along with her heart.
…
Adam’s mind hadn’t stopped second-guessing his decision since the moment he lost the discussion about who would drive. It was obvious Emily had a plan. He’d even seen a pile of blankets and pillows in the bed of her truck. What he still didn’t know was, why? And perhaps even more important, why him?
Now he was in the middle of Clapton Field with the one woman who should be off-limits, and he didn’t want to stop. Memories of her body against his, her scent, and the smooth skin of her lower back made arguing against the wrongness difficult if not impossible.
Adam flexed his fingers and focused on steering this encounter to his advantage. His goal was friendship. Not sex. Not making out under the stars. Just conversation and maybe a few laughs. Get to know her so he could get her happy and get gone. That was his plan.
He needed to take the lead. Maybe then he had a chance in hell of driving out of this field without failing a cousin who had trusted him.
Emily sat motionless less than two feet from him, but somehow the inside of the cab seemed far more dangerous than the wilds of a summer night in Clapton Field. Pulling the door handle, he slid off the seat, his boots landing softly on the grass. The tang of summer assaulted his nose. He grew up just a few hours south of here, and yet everything seemed bigger, untouched, and wild. It smelled, and felt, freer. And for someone who had felt confined the majority of his life, it was a welcome relief.
Maybe it was because he knew his escape was imminent. This wasn’t the home he sought. He wasn’t stuck. He may not ever settle down in the middle of nowhere again, but he could appreciate it through an outsider’s eyes.
Ever since learning where Emily moved to, he’d thought about her reasoning behind Fly Creek. She’d run clear across the country from both her family and her past, and there appeared to be no connection.
He smiled, realizing he’d done the same thing.
All Fly Creek had become was the place where Emily’s life was on hold. Ironically, it was placing his life on hold as well.
Adam shut the door and wondered how long it would take her to meet him and try to turn the advantage back to her. He snorted. She could certainly try, and he ordered his body to behave at the thought of a sensual tussle.
The breeze was cool and brought a hint of honeysuckle, leaving his skin chilled. Nights were always cooler despite the dry heat of the summer days. A few fireflies were scattered about the trees, but their illumination was nothing compared to the blanket of stars overhead.
Adam, his brother, Levi, and Drew had spent many a night staring up at skies like this. Planning their escape from the ranch life. From the gossip and looks and pity that accompanied them wherever they went in their town.
They’d made their escape. Levi to the military, Drew to the DEA, and Adam to college. Yet here he was again back under the big sky thinking about his escape and the woman who could release him to do so.
He followed the side of the truck around to the bed and unhinged the tailgate. He hopped up and hung his hat on the side. Emily’s door opened, and a moment later, she slid up beside him, her thigh brushing against his.
“Nice night,” he said.
She nodded. “Nothing as beautiful as a night like this back east.”
It was an opening to talk. He could try and draw her out and maybe find a way forward without entering the gray area, but that might open the floodgates for her to question him. He wasn’t ready to spill the truth, and his gut told him she wasn’t ready to hear it. But he didn’t want to lie to her.
“Wanna get comfortable?”
Emily smiled at him and scooted back into the bed.
Adam joined her and a few minutes later stretched out beside her on a pile of blankets. She propped one foot up on the side of the bed, the heel of her boot rolling back and forth. Her head rested against his shoulder.
The “why” was on the tip of his tongue, but something about the moment was too perfect to ask. Maybe she would be content to just lie there in someone else’s company. As far as he knew, she didn’t have friends, just customers. She helped them with their needs, responded in the most perfunctory ways and that was it. She didn’t attend the community functions. Didn’t eat out. Didn’t date. Didn’t show up at the holiday festivities or call on anyone during the long winter months. Was this really what she was looking for? Companionship? If so, there were a lot easier and less complicated ways to go about getting it.
“Back east, huh? What brought you all the way to Wyoming?”
Emily tensed beside him, and he cursed himself for being so blunt. Nice wiff, Conley.
“I needed a change.”
He released a small breath. “No one understands needing change more than I do.”
The moon highlighted enough of her face that he could see the small glimmer of hope in her eyes. The hope that maybe someone could understand. And he did. More than she knew. More than she might ever know, because some of his knowledge seemed so devastating to share that now having met her, he wondered if he ever could.
“What about you, cowboy?” She flicked his side, her fingers lingering on his shirt and stoking a fire he desperately needed to douse. “What’s your Wyoming story?”
He smiled. He didn’t want or need to tell her his story, but turnabout was fair. Or as much as he was willing to play. “Looking for something. Haven’t found it yet.”
“And Wyoming is where you might find it?”
“I doubt it. But it’s been a nice stopping-off point.”
She smiled, and her hand slid on top of his and squeezed. The warmth traveled up his arm, through his chest, and he felt equal parts urge to yank her on top of him and throw her hand away in disgust. Disgust at himself for enjoying the touch. For enjoying her words.
They lay together, their hands connected, and listened as animals wandered about the field. Most likely moose or elk, nothing unusual for around there. Emily sighed and scooted closer, her breast against his arm.
Friends, he repeated to himself even as his body hummed in delight.
Adam sat up, their hands falling apart. Emily looked at him, confusion clouding her eyes. She thought he was rejecting her, and it hurt him that he’d hurt her.
Damn it, he was dangerously close to a gray area.
“I hate to cut this short, but I have an early start tomorrow. New crop of people in at the ranch, and I’m leading the sunrise ride in the morning.” None of it a lie. All of it an excuse. A freight train of feelings had pulled into Adam, and entertaining any thoughts of letting them linger was a disaster for him but even more for Emily. His stopping point wasn’t Fly Creek and hers wasn’t Adam Conley.
Emily sat up and smiled. “Of course. Wouldn’t want you to miss your bedtime.”
They both slid off the tailgate and lifted it shut together. She turned to face him and stepped closer.
“Thank you for a lovely evening.”
He couldn’t have prevented it if he’d had a ten-minute warning. She slid her hand up his cheek and around his head pulling him down to her. Their lips met, hers soft and warm. The contact so alluring that he’d wrapped her up in his arms before registering the desire to do so. She fit. Her lean body cradled perfectly against his harder one. She purred and snuggled closer and the tenor of the kiss changed. It went from one of thanks and wonder, to one of desperate need. His, hers, it didn’t matter. They couldn’t seem to get close enough, their mouths searching one another for the elusive spark. Tongues meeting and dueling one another for supremacy neither could achieve.
Adam needed to gain control or she’d be back in the bed of her truck in five minutes flat, and he would follow her happily. Guilt and gray area be damned.
He eased the kiss and their bodies back, notch by notch. Until he supped at her lips. She batted her eyes until hazel met his blue with a combination of desire and concern.
She moistened her lips, and he suppressed a growl. “That was nice.”
Nice? Nice was a peck on the cheek from your fifth-grade crush. This had been bliss. Two people communicating through a need so base and elemental it moved you to your soul. It altered the two of you for all future communications. But none of that mattered to her and shouldn’t matter to him. He smiled. “Definite repeat potential.”
Panic flowed across her features, and she yanked out of his arms. Emily hurried around her truck and jumped inside, slamming the door behind her.
What on earth did I do?
This wasn’t supposed to happen. The guilt he’d predicted slammed into his chest, making it hard to breathe. How could he have done it? Kissed his dead cousin’s fiancée. Even worse, enjoyed doing it.
The plan was to get her to open up about her past. And they’d made progress. Talked, relaxed in each other’s company. Then the kiss opened a floodgate of desire that maybe neither had expected.
But now Emily was upset, bothered by something, and he didn’t think it was remorse from their moments together. No, it was something more. Something his repeat comment brought to the surface. Was it guilt? Guilt over the enjoyment when she still mourned another man? Guilt because she wanted more? Because she wanted a repeat performance.
Adam took a deep breath and slid into the cab. Emily started it immediately and drove them out of Clapton Field in silence. Adam allowed her to retreat. He knew it was the best choice. He needed to regroup as well. But tomorrow was a new day. The next step in fulfilling his promise to Drew and moving on with his life. He may have stumbled off the friendship path tonight, but it was still in sight. By the time he was done, he prayed Emily White would be out of the rut of her past and into a new lane full of life.