Chapter Eight
Lexi gave him a quick sideways glance as they turned into her road. She could read nothing from his expression.
He’d said yes.
She should be feeling euphoric, but instead she felt a little letdown and anticlimactic. Presumably, he would now disappear back to his own life and turn up again in six months when it was time to get a divorce. And that was fine. Except…
Except what, Lexi?
Was she going to turn into some sex-starved woman now that she’d had a little taste? That would be very inconvenient, not to mention pathetic. She needed to get a grip. He didn’t want her. Last night he’d been desperate. Any woman would have done. Except he hadn’t had a woman in five years. Just her.
Shut up!
As he pulled up outside the gates, she frowned. They were open. They never left the gates open because the dogs could get onto the main road.
“Everything okay?” Josh asked.
She peered down the drive and could see the bumper of a black car. She had a bad feeling about this. “Shit,” she muttered.
“What is it?” he asked.
She sighed. “At a guess, my new lodger.”
She so did not need this right now. It wasn’t that she didn’t like Harry. The truth was she hardly knew him. Once she had gotten an inkling of her grandmother’s long-term plans for the two of them, she’d shut him out. But he was a painful reminder of the family she’d rather forget. Oh well, she could put him as far away from her as possible and keep busy over the next month, or however long he planned to stay.
“Harry?” Josh asked.
“Yes. I’d better go deal with him.”
She reached for the door, but Josh stopped her with a hand on her arm. “You don’t have to let him stay,” he said. “Just tell him to piss off.”
“Maybe I should.” But she probably wouldn’t. “Look, thank you for agreeing. You know, to the staying married thing. It means a lot.”
She opened the door and climbed out, surprised when Josh switched off the engine and got out as well. “I’ll come with you. Check everything is okay.”
She frowned. Why wouldn’t everything be okay? But she didn’t argue as he stepped up beside her. The truth was, she didn’t want him to go. And that was stupid. Now that she had what she wanted from him, she should leave well alone, not rock the boat. But a shiver of excitement ran through her as they walked down the drive.
He slid his hand into hers. “In case he’s watching,” he murmured.
It’s all an act.
She had to keep telling herself that, but it was hard as his thumb rubbed over her palm and pleasure shot along her nerves at the tiny caress.
“Well, he could certainly stay somewhere else—he’s not short of money. That’s a Porsche,” Josh said as they passed the black sports car.
She cast it a disinterested glance. “It is? I don’t know much about cars.”
“You don’t? What do you drive?”
“I don’t. I never learned. There didn’t seem much point, living in London.” They’d stopped at the front door, and he was staring at her in disbelief. She shrugged. “Really, I use public transport or take a taxi. Parking is murder in the city anyway. I do have a bike, though.”
“I can’t believe you can’t drive. I’ll teach you.”
She glanced at him. So he wasn’t planning on vanishing from her life. That really shouldn’t make her feel all warm and fuzzy. Again. But it did. She didn’t particularly want to learn to drive, and she suspected deep down that she was afraid. Her mother and father had been killed in a car crash. She’d been in the vehicle with them at the time, and while she couldn’t remember anything of the accident, the memory was probably loitering somewhere in her subconscious.
“That would be nice,” she heard herself saying.
“So why do you think he’s here?” Josh asked, nodding at the car.
“I imagine to spy for my grandmother. She suspects something.” She turned and patted his arm. “Don’t worry. I don’t expect you to get embroiled with my family problems. We’ll think of a really good reason you have to leave town for a while.”
He opened his mouth as if to answer, then slammed it closed again, a frown drawing his brows together. Lexi shrugged. As she pushed the door open, a whole load of dogs started barking. They nudged open the kitchen door and rushed out to greet her. She bent and rubbed a few ears, then headed for the door they had come through, Josh close behind her, or as close as he could get with her surrounded by dogs.
Harry sat at the kitchen table. He wore gray pants and a white shirt. His blond hair was perfectly cut, and she felt the familiar wave of irritation. And for the first time, she recognized where her animosity had come from. Harry was three years older than her, Melissa a year older. Lexi had been seventeen when they’d first met, and the two of them had been…perfect. Perfectly dressed, perfectly groomed. Lexi had been far from perfect and well aware of the fact. They’d made her feel inadequate, and she’d responded by pushing them away.
However friendly they’d been, she wouldn’t have liked them. And they hadn’t been particularly friendly. Then again, maybe they’d had their reasons. It occurred to her that perhaps they hadn’t been over the moon about their father marrying her grandmother. She was a decade older than Daniel and not exactly a motherly figure.
Harry stood up as they entered the room. She came to a halt by the table, and then she jumped as Josh’s arms came around her from behind, pulling her back against him.
Aw, he was pretending to be her loving husband. He was sweet. Those now familiar warm, fuzzy feelings spread through her chest. She didn’t even want to think about what to call those emotions. She just wanted to enjoy this for a moment.
She relaxed in his arms, pressed her bottom back against him, and felt him go still.
Harry watched them one eyebrow raised. “Valerie said the two of you were like newlyweds.” His lips quirked. “I don’t think she meant it as a compliment. Your friend Jean let me in by the way. She said it would be okay to wait for you in here.”
“It’s fine. You want a coffee?”
“Love one.”
She pulled away. Josh’s arms tightened for a moment, then he let her go. After switching the coffee machine on, she turned around, leaning against the counter to study the two men. Despite both being blond, they were totally different. Josh had a rough edge, an air of danger. In fact, he was radiating menace as he faced off against Harry, whose lips were still curled in a slight smile, as though he found the whole thing amusing.
“I’d actually come to tell you that I wouldn’t be staying,” he said as he resumed his seat at the table. “I didn’t want to intrude—you know, the whole newlywed thing. But I’ve so far met three people who also claim to live here. Are you running a hotel?”
“They’re just friends.”
She filled three mugs with coffee and carried them over, placed them on the table with milk and sugar, then took a seat. “Sit,” she ordered Josh. He was making her nervous by looming over them like that.
“Anyway,” Harry continued, “I decided, why not stay for a while? Obviously you two lovers aren’t going to be alone, so one more won’t make a difference.”
“That depends on why you’re here,” Josh said, and he sounded far from friendly.
Harry gave an elegant shrug. “Can’t I want to spend some time with my baby sister?”
She got the distinct impression that he was trying to wind Josh up. Probably not a good idea. “Did you know Josh used to be in the SAS?” she asked.
A look of mock alarm crossed his face. “Oh my God. He’s a lethal weapon. I’d better be careful.”
She glanced at Josh and saw his lips twitch. “So why are you here?”
“My remit is to spy and report back.”
Well, it was hardly a surprise. Though, what was a surprise was Harry actually admitting it. Her heart sank a little. She’d been lucky up to now and maybe gotten a little complaisant. She should have known it couldn’t last.
“Spy on what?” Josh growled.
Harry took a sip of coffee. “Well, the original idea was to get proof that your marriage isn’t real.”
Did her grandmother know? She couldn’t or she wouldn’t have sent Harry.
“Then according to your dear, sweet grandmamma, the two of you couldn’t keep your hands of each other, and now she’s not so sure. But Valerie is nothing if not tenacious, so here I am.”
“Don’t you have anything better to do?”
“Like a job you mean? Not at the moment. And my father very kindly bought me a car—a sort of bribe.”
“With Lexi’s money.”
“I hadn’t actually thought of it like that. But probably. Slightly ironic isn’t it?”
It was doing her head in. “Why tell me? Why not just do your spying thing and keep quiet?”
He pursed his lips, thought for a moment, and she saw the first flash of real emotion in his eyes. “Because I don’t like them.”
“Oh.” Whatever she’d been expecting it wasn’t that.
“He’s my father, but we don’t get to pick our families, and he’s a bastard.”
“But you still accepted the car?” Josh pointed out.
He shrugged. “Well, I am my father’s son. Whether I like it or not. He married Valerie for her money and then found she didn’t have all that much of her own. It was all yours. They thought you could be manipulated. It must have pissed them off something rotten when you proved them wrong.”
“Did you know they had plans to marry us off?”
“I wouldn’t have minded. You were cute.”
Josh growled again, and Harry chuckled. “He’s a little protective isn’t he?”
She cast a glance at Josh. He was eyeing Harry like he’d be happy to rip his head from his shoulders. It was official: he was a great actor. What would it feel like to have someone want to protect you for real? Most of her life she’d felt alone. And from the age of eighteen, she’d been alone, looking after herself and anyone else who came her way.
She felt a little wistful at the thought. But only a little. She’d fought hard for her independence.
Josh caught her staring and their gazes locked. Something warm uncoiled inside her. His lips curled in a slight smile, and then he swiped his tongue over his lower lip, and her breath hitched. She swayed toward him, as the memory of his tongue on her body did weird things to her insides, stoking the warmth until it ignited inside her.
Harry cleared his throat. “Did the temperature just go up in here?”
Lexi sat back. She did feel a little warm.
“So am I staying or going?” Harry asked.
He’d all but admitted he was going to report back on them. But if she told him no, then that might raise their suspicions. She’d have to come up with that out of town job for Josh a little quicker.
“You can stay. We’ve got nothing to hide.”
Harry nodded then turned to Josh. “You okay with that?”
“No, but this is Lexi’s place. If she says it’s okay, you can stay.”
“Good. All settled then. I’ll go pick up my stuff from the hotel and be right back. Hey”—he grinned—“this is going to be fun.”
…
“Why do I somehow doubt that?” Josh murmured. He got to his feet, crossed to the window, and watched as Harry climbed into his car and disappeared down the drive. He turned back to where Lexi still sat at the table.
He’d caught her wistful expression when Harry had made the asinine protective comment.
Just like he’d thought—Lexi wanted someone to look after her. She might not know it or acknowledge it, but she did. And it wasn’t going to be him. All the same, he didn’t like this. And he hated the thought of Harry staying in the house with her.
“You should have told him to piss off.”
“Maybe.”
“So why didn’t you?”
“It would have made them suspicious. Besides…”
“Besides what?”
She shrugged and looked a little self-conscious. “I think he’s hurting. It can’t have been easy growing up with creepy Daniel for a father.”
“Jesus. You want to help him.” He sat back down and ran a hand through his hair, irritation coursing through him. “You can’t fucking help everyone.”
She turned her chair so she was facing him. “Why not?”
Her question stopped him short, and he searched for an answer. “Not everyone deserves helping. Besides, he’s a slimy bastard, and I don’t like him.”
She grinned. “Maybe. Anyway, you won’t have to spend time with him. I think I see a phone call coming up. A really important job you can’t get out of.” She reached across and patted his arm. “Don’t worry. I can handle Harry alone.”
“No.”
The word was out before he thought better of it, and he wasn’t sure where it came from. Except he didn’t want her handling Harry. Not alone or any other way.
“No?”
“They’ll definitely think it’s suspicious if I leave now. No way will they believe such a convenient job.” He was making this up as he went along, his mouth running away with him. And that wasn’t right. He was a planner; he didn’t do spur of the moment.
“They’ll think it even more suspicious if you don’t have an excuse and you’re not here.”
“Then I’ll have to be here.” There he was again, running off at the mouth.
“You can’t stay here.” She sounded shocked.
“Ha. I don’t see why not. Everyone else does.”
She studied him for a moment, lips pursed, eyes calculating. “We’d have to share a room. Nobody’s going to believe we’re married otherwise.”
“Not a problem. I think I can keep my hands to myself.” It occurred to him that he might be overly sure of himself there. But he’d been celibate for five years. He could manage a few more months. For a good cause. A lot of good causes actually.
Something flashed across her face. Annoyance? “That’s nice to know. And I’ll do my best to restrain myself.”
“That’s settled then.”
“Thank you. I know you don’t have to do this, and don’t want to do it. But it means a lot. I appreciate it.” She leaned across and kissed him chastely on the cheek. “We’ll be like brother and sister.”
He didn’t want to be like brother and sister.
“It will be fun,” she continued.
Why did he doubt that? He could feel the softness of her lips on his cheek. There was still time to do the sensible thing and go away. Far away. Chances were she would be okay. She’d managed without him around all this time. He stood up, meaning to say he’d changed his mind. His words didn’t come out that way. “I’ll go pick up some stuff and get back before Harry.”
“And I’ll arrange a meeting with everyone. Get them straight on the story. Can you be back by six?”
“Yeah.” By “them” he presumed she meant her motley bunch of hangers-on. “Can you trust them?”
She looked surprised at the question. “Of course.”
You’d think, considering her past, she’d have a greater sense of self-preservation. How the hell had she survived this long all alone in the big bad world? It was amazing no one had taken advantage of her before now. Well, no one except her family.
He pushed himself to his feet. “I’ll see you later.” He had a bad feeling that he’d somehow backed himself into a corner and now he was stuck there for the foreseeable future.
With no chance of sex in sight.
At least none that he was allowed to even think about.
When he pulled up in front of the house three hours later, he still hadn’t managed to shake the bad feeling. In the army, he’d learned to listen to his gut feelings. His gut was telling him to run.
Lexi Slater was trouble.
She might look all cute and soft, and she might act all sweet and good. But for fuck’s sake, no one was that nice. He also had the strangest feeling that she’d played him again. He remembered the feel of that chaste little kiss on his cheek.
Brother and sister?
She couldn’t be unaware of what her touch did to him. Could she? Even the slightest, most innocent of touches.
Since the other night, it was as though his neurons had been rewired. Somehow his wife and sex were inextricably entangled in his mind. Just the thought of her sent twinges to his dick. And now he’d agreed to share a room with her. It was unlikely she had two beds, so chances were he’d be sleeping on the floor for the duration of Harry’s visit. He hoped the bastard didn’t stay long.
He went in without knocking—hey, he lived here now. Voices drifted out from the kitchen, and he pushed open the door. The room was full, crowded with people, or at least it seemed that way. He dropped his bag on the floor and looked around. In actual fact there were only four people present—Lexi, Jean, Sarah, and Tom. The children were nowhere in sight. The chicken was still in its basket, observing him out of beady eyes, and dogs and cats took up most of the floor space.
What had he let himself in for? Maybe he should suggest they go stay at his lovely, uncluttered loft apartment instead. He’d put the idea to Lexi if things got too unpleasantly chaotic.
A chair scraped as Lexi got to her feet. She gave him an almost timid smile and then came toward him. “I’ll show you to my room. We can get rid of the bag in case Harry turns up. We’ll be back in five,” she said to the others. As they left the room, she turned to him. “I’ve already told them what’s going on with my family. Now you just all need to get to know each other a little better, so Harry doesn’t pick up anything odd.”
He wished she’d waited to do the “what’s going on” speech—then he might have more of a clue as to what was actually going on.
She didn’t speak as she led him up one flight of stairs, then another, and then a narrow staircase. Where the hell was she taking him? The attic?
Finally, she opened a door that led into a vast room that must have covered most of the house. The ceiling sloped and the back wall was almost all windows. He dropped his bag and stepped closer. It looked out over the Heath.
“This is my room,” Lexi said.
“It’s…nice.” He wasn’t sure nice was the right word. Interesting maybe. The space was a curious mix of modern and old fashioned. A jumble of different styles, every surface smothered in things—books and clothes and ornaments… He didn’t think he’d ever owned an ornament in his life. The walls were covered with a mixture of paintings and photographs. Disorganized chaos, like Lexi herself.
“I had it remodeled from the old attics when I moved in. I love being up here. And the views are wonderful. I can lie in bed and look out onto the Heath.”
At least it was big enough for them to be apart in, even with the absolutely huge four-poster bed that stood in the center. Mahogany posts and dark red curtains were tied back to show a crimson cover and a mound of pillows. She’d be lost in there alone. It was a bed made for at least two.
“Nice bed,” he said.
“It used to be in the master bedroom downstairs. I had to take it to pieces to get it up here, but I love it.”
She sank onto the mattress and eyed him up. “I’ve cleared out some wardrobe space for you over there.” She waved a hand toward a vast mahogany cabinet. And the bathroom is through there.”
A door, slightly ajar, stood opposite.
He unpacked his bag quickly and efficiently.
“You’re very organized,” she said as she watched him place his empty bag in the bottom of the wardrobe. He headed into the bathroom with his toiletries. If the bedroom was disorganized chaos, this was a nightmare. Every surface was covered with bottles and candles, and baskets of dried stuff. The air smelled of flowers, almost overpowering.
The room was as big as a normal bedroom, with a walk in shower and a freestanding tub big enough for two. Not that they’d be sharing, but he had an image of Lexi, a hot bath, and a whole load of bubbles.
Don’t go there.
The only way this was going to work was if he kept his mind off sex. He was here to do a job. Think of it as a mission. A mission into enemy territory. Except it was hard to think of Lexi as an enemy.
Brother and sister then, like she’d suggested. But he didn’t want a sister either.
He searched in vain for a place to put his few things and caught sight of his harassed face in the mirror and Lexi behind him, leaning against the open door, a rueful expression on her face.
“Sorry about the clutter, but no one else ever comes up here,” she said. “So I don’t really notice what it’s like.” She stepped up beside him and swept the stuff off one of the shelves, into a basket of the dried smelly stuff. “There, you have somewhere to put your things now.”
He set them out on the shelf while she watched.
“Gosh, you travel light,” she said.
“You learn to in the army,” he replied.
“I suppose. We’d better get down to the others.”
He turned, found her closer than he’d expected, and took a step back, banging into the washbasin. Christ, he was skittish. What did he think she was going to do? Jump him?
You wish.
He studied the photographs as they went out; coming to a halt in front of one he hadn’t expected to see. It was a blow up of one she’d had in her office. Their wedding photograph. He was in uniform, while she was wearing a dark purple dress. It felt like a lifetime ago. He was pale, lines of pain bracketing his mouth. He’d only just gotten out of the hospital, and, remembering, he reached up and rubbed his shoulder.
At that point he’d still had a plan. A purpose. Still believed that he’d get Evie back and they’d be a family again. That belief hadn’t survived for long.
Lexi looked…young. Her face fuller. She had a bright smile that wasn’t totally reflected in her dark eyes.
She halted at the door to see what was holding him up, her eyes widening as she took in what he was looking at. She cleared her throat. “I thought it would look odd if I didn’t have at least one photo of you on the wall. In case someone came up here.”
But she’d said no one ever came up here.
He followed her back down the staircase, his feelings all over the place. She was doing his head in. One minute he thought he had a handle on everything. The next he felt as though he was adrift in that lifeboat once more. He shook his head. She was different than anyone he had dealt with before. But he could do this. He’d been in the SAS for God’s sake. He was tough, trained to withstand torture. How hard could a few nights with Lexi be?
“So,” Lexi said to the room. “You’ve all met Josh. As I told you, Josh and I have been married for five years. We love each other.”
“Obviously,” Tom muttered, and Lexi glared.
Josh sat on one of the chairs around the table, legs stretched out, trying to look relaxed.
“Josh has spent a lot of time out of the country, but he’s here to stay now. If anyone asks, that’s all you need to say.”
He looked at the faces around the room, they didn’t seem happy but one by one they nodded.
“Good,” Lexi said. “It’s going to be easy as pie.”