Chapter Five
Two weeks later
“You ever had anyone shoot you?” Charity asked.
Dwayne finished loading the gun and looked toward her. Her posture was exactly the way he’d left her to start her first shooting lesson. After two weeks of attack and defense he’d believed she was ready for that next step. Like in school, Charity was a fast learner, and it was in fact a privilege to see her constantly achieving, always working to improve.
“What do you think?”
“I don’t know. I wonder if you give people the time to realize you’re there or if you just go shooting people like crazy.” She started to make gun noises with her hands clasped together, one finger pointing forward as she did it.
“I’m not that good.”
“You’re great though, right? You wouldn’t be where you are now without that skill?”
She was always prying into elements of his life, which he didn’t mind. He enjoyed listening to her talk. Charity had one of those voices what would make a good storytelling voice. She was the first woman in his life that he actually enjoyed being around. Most women he found irritating. Not this woman though.
“Fine. Fine. Don’t tell me.” She held her hands up in surrender, swinging from side to side, looking all cute.
He moved toward her and held out the small handgun, which she turned in her hand, pointing the muzzle up at her head.
Quickly grabbing her, he positioned the gun away from her.
“Are you crazy?”
“What? Doesn’t it have a safety or anything?”
“What exactly do you know about guns?”
“They go bang.”
“You’re a pain in the ass.” He shook his head. “Right, keep the gun pointed away from you at all times.” He moved to stand behind her, positioning her hands and placing her body exactly how he wanted it. He’d already lined up the empty cans he’d found. Her targets.
“How good were you the first time you got a gun?”
“Why do you want to know?”
“I want to know if it’s as easy as it looks, or if it’s hard.”
“It is hard. I couldn’t shoot the beer cans for a long time. It felt like a whole year. I trained constantly to be as good as I am now.”
He felt her take a deep breath as he placed her hands into position, and then she started to shoot. She fired three times and laughed. The cans were all in position and hadn’t been touched.
“Why are you laughing?”
“I fired my first gun. I think that’s pretty awesome, don’t you?”
Instead of joining her in her mini-victory, he spent the remainder of the day showing her. He didn’t stay pressed against her back and stepped away for her to try on her own. As the day wore on and the sun began to set, he saw her frustration start to build. The cans were still in place and hadn’t moved once. The bullets, though; she’d used quite a few.
“You know what, this is faulty.”
“The gun’s not faulty.” He stepped forward, taking it from her, aiming and firing. All five cans landed on the floor.
Perfect.
Precision.
His training.
This was his life.
Taking lives was what he was good at. In fact, he would go so far as to call himself a master in the art.
“Fine. It’s not faulty.”
She wrapped her arms around herself.
“Are you feeling cold?”
“Just a little bit. I’ll be fine.”
He removed his jacket and draped it across her shoulders.
“You know for a badass, you don’t show it.”
“How do I not show it?”
“Well, for one, you don’t kill me.”
He chuckled. “You want me to kill you? It would be very useless training.”
“You think I could take you now. I know all your tricks.”
“You’re not even close to being that good.” He put away the gun and cleaned up the mess while Charity watched.
“Really? You’re not training me to take you out.”
“Charity, I hate to break this to you, but I’m not training you to kill anyone. I’m teaching you how to survive and to have a better chance of making it out alive. This stuff that I teach you will only get you so far. It’ll be up to you to figure out the rest.”
“Oh.”
She was silent for a few seconds, but it was like he could feel her mind working, preparing, getting ready for more questions.
“Why don’t you want me to kill anyone?” she asked.
He finished locking up his equipment and turned toward her. Her hands were by her sides, open. He always noticed a person’s stance. It had kept him alive this long. Knowing if you were going to be attacked at any moment was important. At least to him it was.
Reading people came with the territory of being a killer.
“It changes who you are, taking a life. You’ve got to be prepared to live with the guilt.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, you do.”
“Do you feel guilt?” she asked.
He thought about it and nodded. “Yeah, I get guilt. The first man I killed was a rapist.” He deserved to die, but still Dwayne felt the change inside him.
“He was a monster.”
“Yeah. I saw him in the act. To be honest, I can’t even remember if he was my first kill or not. They all kind of mingle together right now. I don’t know who was first.” He shrugged. “I certainly should tell little girls about this.”
“I don’t feel like a little girl.”
She looked away.
“What is it?” he asked.
“It’s nothing.”
“I don’t bullshit you, Charity. Don’t start with me.”
“Fine. Everyone wants me to forget. They want me to move on and be my happy self.”
“You can’t.”
“Could you?”
“I had a lifetime of pain and suffering even before I took my first life, Charity. You’re not like me. You’re a woman, and you’re not a killer.”
“But I think about it.”
“You think about killing?”
“Yes. Those men. They took something from me, and now, all I can think about is hurting them.”
“They’re dead.”
“But men like them are still out there. Murderers, rapists, child abusers, people who don’t deserve to live.”
“I don’t play God in my line of work. I do a job. They were hurting you, and it was my job to kill them.”
“How many people have you killed in total?” she asked.
“I don’t keep count.”
He’d stopped counting years ago. When he was at the height of his training with Caleb, he’d gone out hunting for men who he could work and train on. Being a Carson, he had to know when to sniff out the weak, the evil, and the vulnerable. He’d never hurt a man, woman, or child that hadn’t deserved it. He’d killed a few women that were evil to the core, protected children, and driven his blade through men’s hearts time and time again.
What he didn’t realize when he was younger was how valuable the Carson name was. They commanded respect through sheer force and will. No one took a shit without them knowing about it.
Rats, snitches, betrayers, enemies, they were all part of the people he’d taken out. No one was safe as far as he was concerned.
“I think it’s time I went home,” she said.
He nodded and moved toward the passenger door. Climbing behind the wheel, he started his car and drove them back to his warehouse. Today he’d made her come with him to begin this training.
“Taking a life, it’s not easy?”
“No.”
“You live with it though.”
“It’s my job to live with it.”
“Thank you for today,” she said.
He watched as she left his car and made her way to her own. When she pulled out of his parking lot, he followed her, not wanting to risk her being alone or someone waiting.
She didn’t veer off the path, and the moment she was in her home, he drove off, heading to a bar near the center of the city where he could forget all his troubles.
The bar was a strip club. The music was always soft, and normally he liked to look at the women prancing around naked or dancing until they were.
Today he wasn’t interested in the women, just the music and the hard liquor that was poured for him. He knew there was a time Beast and Caleb used to come here. Long before they had women and families. Now when they came here it was to deal with the books in the back. No woman was allowed near them.
“Has it been a long day?” Caleb asked, coming to the counter.
“Fuck me, man. Just thinking about you brings you into existence.”
“You’re the nightmare, not me.”
“What are you doing here?” Dwayne asked.
“Got word that you were here and decided to come and see what’s wrong with my good nephew.”
“Like you give a shit.”
“I do give a shit. Don’t mistake my lack of caring for not giving a shit.”
Dwayne snorted. Of his two uncles, Caleb had been the one who’d come closer to shooting him a lot more often than Beast.
“Well, we’ve had that pleasant chat.”
“Beast wants a word,” Caleb said.
“Of course he does. Don’t you get tired of being his messenger?” he asked.
Caleb laughed. “We’re both his messengers. When you go on one of your killing sprees, it’s not you they fear. It’s Beast’s tool. Remember that.”
He didn’t mind.
Dwayne was known as The Nightmare, regardless of who he was working for. It helped him and instilled fear into anyone who was close.
Following Caleb out back to the office, he entered the large, luxurious room. Beast, as always, was behind the desk, looking very royal.
“You had a long day,” Beast said.
Dwayne didn’t say anything, staring at his uncle who was also his boss.
“I see. We’re going to stick with the silent treatment.”
“What do you want?”
He took a seat, aware of Caleb sitting back and Beast’s focus was on him, yay.
“The Charity girl.”
Dwayne hadn’t told anyone about his meetings with her. “What about her?”
“We’re not idiots, Dwayne. We know you’ve been seeing her, even though you really shouldn’t.”
“What I do on my down time is my concern.”
“Her family is worried,” Beast said. “I got a call from her dad. They were wondering if I’d be willing to find out what’s wrong with her.”
Caleb laughed.
Dwayne smiled. “We’re not security experts.”
“It got me thinking about you. You’ve been seeing her.”
“She asked for my help, and I’m providing it.”
“What are you charging her?” Beast asked.
Dwayne’s jaw clenched.
“You’re doing it for free?”
“I think it’s safe to say that our boy may be pussy-whipped,” Caleb said. “It had to happen. There’s no way he could be doing the shit he does without getting a release anywhere.”
“Nothing is happening, and don’t even think for a second to lecture me about her age. If my memory serves me well, both of you fell for eighteen-year-olds. Let’s just say I’m following in my family’s footsteps.” Dwayne had no intention of falling for Charity or having anything more with her. She deserved better than a man like him. He liked being around her. She was a sweet woman. Right now, she was struggling with her life and the changes that were happening, but in time she’d be different and she’d no longer need him.
Her company helped him a great deal.
Since seeing her, he was more focused, grounded if that was even possible. His need to kill had lessened. Most nights he went out to find a reason. Now, he didn’t need one. Whatever Charity was doing to his head, he needed it to stop. In his world, people preyed on the weak, and he refused to join the ranks.
“I’ll stop seeing her,” he said.
Even as he spoke the words, he knew the execution of it was going to be torture.
****
The following week, Charity arrived at his private warehouse to continue training, and as she checked her watch, she realized he was over two hours late. Glancing down at her cell phone, she realized she didn’t have his number or any way to contact him. Whenever she needed him, he always arrived. After waiting another hour, she knew he wasn’t coming.
Dwayne was a lot of things, but being this late wasn’t one of them. He wasn’t going to show up. Instead of driving back home, she made her way to the forest where he’d taken her not too long ago to shoot some cans.
As she parked, there was no sign of his car, but then she doubted she’d even know if he was following her unless he wanted her to know about it.
Tapping her fingers against her leg, she glanced around, taking deep breaths.
She didn’t like this panic that was consuming her.
The days she spent with Dwayne helped her a lot, and right now, he was avoiding her and she was trying not to freak out. What had she done wrong? Had she done anything wrong?
When they parted ways last week, everything had been fine, and now, nothing.
She turned in a circle, and she couldn’t see any sign of him. Heading back to her car, she glanced around, but there was nothing but the open road and the forest, along with one lonely sign letting travelers know the direction they were heading.
Again, she didn’t go home but instead headed to the mall.
She got a ticket and parked. Deciding against the elevator, she took the stairs, going to the third floor of the mall first.
As she entered the large building, noise enveloped her, which she hated. She wasn’t a noise person these days, but at least she wouldn’t have to lie to her mother when she asked.
Grabbing a chocolate milkshake from one of the stands, she paid, and then began to gaze into the window of each shop. Some of them were designer, and even though her parents could afford it, Charity never liked to spend her money on such luxury clothing. She walked from one shop to another, trying to let the mall distract her in some way. As she rounded a corner she came to a stop when she saw a couple of her old friends.
They’d not hung out in such a long time. Being around them was difficult. In the days after being saved by Dwayne, she’d not wanted to be around anyone, and her friends didn’t help.
She always thought she had some amazing friends. Demanding at times but supportive. When she withdrew into herself, they didn’t help. No one stuck around to care, and the truth was, she didn’t care for their company either. She was a changed person and couldn’t go back to the way things were before.
Sipping on her milkshake, she passed them without giving them the time of day. Moving on ahead, she stopped outside of a lingerie shop. The mannequins looked really pretty with the outfits they wore, and she wondered what they would look like on her.
Did Dwayne like sexy lingerie?
Why do you care?
She was attracted to him.
Had been for some time now, but she simply didn’t show it.
Finishing off her milkshake, she held it in her hands as she stared at the window knowing deep down she looked like a crazy person just standing there.
Someone took the milkshake out of her hands and tossed the empty carton into the trashcan.
Glancing to her side, she saw it was Dwayne.
Had he been watching her?
Averting her gaze, she stared at the shop window still.
He’d not been there for their appointment.
She wasn’t going to be the first one to speak.
How could he just turn up now?
She was annoyed and happy to see him, which only confused her more.
“You’re late.” She gritted her teeth, hating that she spoke first. He should have been the one to cave, not her.
“I wasn’t late, because I had no intention of turning up.”
She laughed. “Of course. Just keep me waiting for three hours as if I have nothing more important to do with my time. Thanks for that. Wow, I can’t even believe you did that.” She shook her head and moved on, not wanting to talk to him anymore.
“Did you like anything you saw in that window?”
“I liked a whole lot of things, but it doesn’t matter now.” She didn’t pause to look at another window. Instead, she made her way toward the stairs, not expecting him to follow her. Why would he? He’d just admitted to leaving her waiting for three hours. What kind of asshole did that? Not one she wanted to speak with that was for sure.
He didn’t yell her name or tell her stop, but he kept on following her. Grabbing the rail, she made her way down the stairs.
“You can keep running if you want to.”
“Don’t talk to me,” she said.
“You’re mad.”
She stopped on the step and whirled around. “My time may not mean anything to you, but it does to me. You could have told me or done anything to reach out and tell me you weren’t going to be there today. I mean, come on, Dwayne. I thought you were better than that.”
He stepped down until he was right in front of her and she had no choice but to back up until she hit the wall. Dwayne didn’t step down. He advanced toward her, and she stared at him. Was this some kind of test? Did he expect her to attack him?
She wasn’t afraid of him.
Far from it.
Her body was on fire for him, with her dreams being completely devoted to him and him alone. He was messing with her head.
“That was your first mistake, thinking I’m a better person. I’m not a good person, Charity. Never have been and never claimed to be. Don’t sit around waiting for me to fall for you. It’s not going to happen, ever.”
She knew her eyes went wide in shock and her cheeks heated. “I’m not waiting for you, Dwayne. I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“You and I will never happen.”
“Go fuck yourself.” The moment she said the words she hated them.
His blatant rejection stung, and right now she just wanted to get to her car and head home.
“You and I, we’re done. No more training. No more nothing.”
“Fine with me.”
She shoved him away hard and rushed away, hoping the tears would stay at bay long enough. Once inside her car, she pushed the key into the ignition, trying hard to ignore her shaking hand. Her car started, and without a backward glance, she headed on home. The journey back was completely blank. She hoped she didn’t run any red lights or knock anyone down. She was tempted to pull out and drive the same path just to make sure.
Then shaking her doubts to one side, she made her way inside. It had started to rain, and she stood in the driveway looking up at the sky.
“Honey, what on earth are you doing?” her mother said.
“Nothing.”
“Get inside before you catch something. You’re going to be completely frozen to the bone if you’re not careful.”
It may be raining, but it was warm. She wasn’t about to tell her mother that though. Putting her bag on the floor near the door, she stared at her mother.
“How was your day?”
“Fine. I went to the mall. Had a shake. It was nice.” Saw Dwayne, a guy I’ve been crushing on but you don’t need to know that. He rejected me. “I’m going to go and get washed and changed.”
“Okay, honey.”
She didn’t linger and made her way toward her room. Even as she took a shower, the tears didn’t fall. It was only as she sat on the edge of the bed, a towel around her body and one wrapped in her hair, that she allowed the tears. Saying nasty things to him didn’t help, and now she had no way of apologizing.
Dropping her head into her hands, she wondered what the hell she was going to do.