I can’t believe I spilled the mop water all over me. I blame Jake. He was dancing with the broom. He had me laughing so hard I was crying and didn’t see the bucket. I stepped into it and it sloshed all over me, soaking not only my clothes but my shoes. That’s why I’m back at Grandpa Rhett’s. My other pair of snow boots are in Rhett’s room. We went down to the pond yesterday, and I wore them then. I had tennis shoes on today, and I refuse to ruin another pair.
Deciding I need to say hi to Grandpa Rhett and let him know I’m here, I head up the stairs. I freeze when I hear yelling.
“Because we want a divorce. We decide our future, and being married is not what we want!”
My heart stalls in my chest. Rhett’s screaming at his grandfather about not wanting to be married to me. I haven’t thought much about the divorce the last several weeks. We’re both still wearing our rings, and it feels… real. From the anger in his voice, I know that feeling is one sided. I know he loves me, you can’t fake that kind of affection. His eyes tell me what his heart can’t. It still hits me like a dagger hearing him so livid about us still being married. Placing my hand over my mouth to silence my sobs, I rush back downstairs and up the other side to Rhett’s room. I grab my boots and dash out the door. I need to get myself together before seeing him. I didn’t know he was going to come home early, and he wasn’t expecting me to be there.
Wrong place. Wrong time.
I let the tears fall freely. I knew we were getting divorced; I signed the damn papers. I just didn’t expect him to be so adamant about it after all that we’ve shared, especially to yell at his grandfather like that. When I pull onto our road, I grab a napkin from the glove box and dry my face. I pull up in front of the garage and dash up to my apartment. It’s freezing-ass cold, and the water is turned off so the pipes don’t freeze. Taking a seat on the couch, I switch out my shoes and focus on getting my emotions in check. He didn’t do anything wrong, but the pain is there. The thought that his idea of forever and mine differ is what’s breaking my heart.
My cell phone rings, and it’s him. I hit the side button to silence the ringer and stare at his picture as his name flashes across the screen. It stops and then starts again. I repeat the process of silencing the ringer. It doesn’t ring a third time, causing me to heave a sigh of relief. I have to talk to him sooner or later and tell him what I heard. I just need time to work through my grief for what our future might be, could be. Regardless, I want him in my life. I don’t need marriage if I have him. It’s my fault for letting his words lead my tattered heart down the path of fairy tales and happily ever after. We can create our own kind of fairy tale.
“Saylor!” I hear him yell my name just before he pushes open the door. “Hey, I called you.”
“I know,” I tell him. I don’t play games, and I’ll never lie to him.
“Why didn’t you answer?” he asks, taking a seat next to me on the couch. He cups my face in his hands, and I know the minute he feels my wet cheeks. It’s dark enough in here, I’m sure he can’t see them. “Have you been crying? What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” he fires off questions.
“Yes, can we talk about it later? No, I’m not hurt.”
“You sure?”
“Yes. What are you doing here?” I ask, changing the subject. I’m avoiding, but I just need the tears to not be so fresh before we dig into this. I’ll tell him tonight what I overheard.
“I came to help, but I stopped at the house first. You’ll never guess what I stumbled in on,” he says. “Come here, I need to hold you.” He sits back on the couch and pulls me into his side. “I was going to say hi to Gramps before changing and heard him on the phone in his office. He was talking to Frank, the attorney. I heard him tell him to stall the divorce a little longer and that he would handle blowing us off.” He laughs humorlessly.
So much for waiting until later to talk about it. Looks like it’s happening now. “What happened?” I ask, wanting to know more before I tell him that I heard part of the conversation. Well, not really, just what he yelled at his grandfather.
“As soon as he hung up, I stormed in his office and demanded answers. He claimed that he could see we liked each other and that he was just giving us a chance to stay together. Then he admitted he was lonely was hoping that me being tied to you would convince me to stay here.”
“That’s awful,” I say. My heart aches for Grandpa Rhett.
“I made him call Frank and tell him to move forward with the processing.”
I can’t stop the sob that breaks from my chest. He holds me tighter and kisses the top of my head.
“Saylor, babe, you’re killing me here. What’s going on?”
“I-I heard you,” I say through my tears.
“What did you hear, baby?” he asks sweetly.
“I spilled water on me, my shoes were soaked, and my boots were in your room,” I explain. “I heard you yelling. You said we wanted a divorce and being married isn’t what we want.”
“Babe, we decided together to do this. Have you changed your mind?”
“Have you?” I counter. “You said forever, and I thought that meant—” My voice breaks again.
“Saylor,” he says softly.
“I mean, if you have, it’s okay,” I say, sitting up and wiping my cheeks with the backs of my hands. “I love you, and I’ll take you however I can get you,” I tell him honestly. I probably shouldn’t let him off the hook like that, but it’s true. “We can just do us, you know. We can make it whatever it is you want.”
“Saylor,” he says, causing me to turn my head and look at him. “I love you. Not because we got married in Vegas under the influence of alcohol, not because it’s convenient for me, not because I feel obligated. I love you because of who you are and how I feel when I’m with you. You didn’t hear the entire conversation, baby.”
“No?” I ask hopeful.
“No.” He stands and sits in front of me on the coffee table, resting his hands on my knees. “You didn’t hear me tell him that I want to give you the world. You didn’t hear me tell him that you’ve had enough of your choices taken from you in your lifetime, and I want you to have that option. You get to choose to marry me. I want to get down on one knee and ask you to be my wife the right way. Then you have the choice,” he says again. Reaching up, he cradles my face in the palm of his hands. “You didn’t hear me tell him that I want to give you everything.”
“Everything?” I ask, trying to process what he’s just said.
“Baby, it’s freezing-ass cold in here,” he says when he sees me shiver. “Let’s go to the truck, or the main house with the kerosene heater, or back to Gramps’s. Let me get you out of the cold, and we can finish this.”
“Okay.” I agree because I feel like my toes and fingers are going to fall off from the cold.
“I want to help Jake and Molly. I told them that I would. They’ve been so good to me,” I say.
“Then that’s what we’ll do. I just need to hear you say that you understand what you mean to me first. I need to hear that we’re okay.”
I stand and step in between his legs where he sits on the table. “We’re okay.”
“I love you. When we get home, we’re going to talk about this until you understand the depth of that. Gramps also needs to confess to you what he did. If I had any idea that you were there, I would have called you in there with me. No secrets. I promised you that I would always be honest with you.”
My phone rings. Pulling it out of my back pocket, I see Molly’s smiling face. “Hey,” I say, placing the phone next to my ear.
“You guys okay? You have to be freezing over there.”
“Yeah, we’re good. We’re headed your way actually.”
“That’s the other reason I’m calling. We’re done for the day. Even with the heater, we’re freezing. This is going to be a slow process.”
“We’ll get you there,” I tell her. “So we’ll be right behind you.”
“We’re going to stop by Jerry’s, but then we’ll be there.”
“Okay. Be safe.”
“You too.”
“They’re done for the day,” I tell Rhett. “So we can go home.”
“I like the sound of that. Us going home, together.”
“Well, this is home technically, but—” I wave him off. “—you know what I mean.” My mind is all jumbled from the tears and the fear of losing him so soon.
“My home is here.” He points to me. “Wherever you are, Saylor, that’s where I want to be.” He stands and laces his fingers through mine. “Let’s get you home and warmed up.”
The ride home is quiet as I process everything Rhett told me. He loves me, he wants forever with me, but it’s on my terms. And Grandpa Rhett, well, he wants me too. That makes my heart swell with love. As soon as we walk into the house, Grandpa Rhett calls out for us. We find him in the living room. “I owe both of you an apology. I never should have meddled; it’s not my place to interfere with your lives. It won’t happen again,” he says solemnly.
I take a seat next to him on the couch. “I understand why you did it and know that you wanted to include me in your family.” I stop to compose myself. I’m about to step out of the box. “I love you, Grandpa Rhett. Thank you for believing in us.”
“Oh, sweet girl,” he says, giving me a hug.
“I think we’ll take it from here, okay? We’ll figure it out.”
He looks up at Rhett and grins. “I know you will. I’ve always had a stubborn streak, just ask your dad.” He grins.
“Oh, trust me, I’ve heard all about it. Although, I’d never really experienced it firsthand until the last couple of months.”
“Sorry about that, kid.”
“It’s done. I’m here, we’re moving forward, and I got the girl.”
“Looks like life is treating you pretty damn good,” Grandpa Rhett says.
“I’d have to agree.” Kneeling down, Rhett leans in and kisses me softly. We spend the rest of the night watching television with Gramps. We don’t talk about us, but I know as soon as we’re alone, we will. I’m confident he wants this, that he wants us, and my heart is bursting with love for him that he wants me to choose. If he only knew, I would choose him every damn time.