I can’t believe I’m standing here right now, Remy thought.

She looked around at the sea of unfamiliar faces at the wake, lots of men and women in Navy dress whites crowded in a ballroom. Plenty of people in black too, like Remy…

But they were spouses, parents, friends. None of them were quite in her… unique situation.

After she’d gathered all her courage and gone way out on a limb to invite herself to follow Sawyer to D.C., it seemed dumb to be as nervous as she was right now.

For the most part, she was just a blonde in a fancy dress, following Sawyer around as he shook hands with various people. He’d stopped introducing her after the first few, because it was too awkward.

“This is Remy, my… friend,” he’d said, frowning.

Meanwhile, Remy was blushing red to the roots of her hair as she shook hands with a serious-looking silver-haired man in uniform.

There was that word again, friend. Sawyer liked to throw that around, didn’t he?

Then again, there wasn’t much of a better word for it. Baby mama was too trite. Ex-girlfriend was too… finite.

So she’d drifted to the side of the room, accepting a glass of champagne. Watching Sawyer from afar, trying not to let his dress uniform do wicked things to her brain.

Failing, totally and completely.

He looked beyond handsome, and from this distance Remy could actually watch other women reacting to Sawyer. He turned heads, made women bite their lips and give him longing looks when they thought his head was turned.

Not that Remy could judge them. She wasn’t any better, over here in the corner all longing while he was mourning his friend.

Adding to the awkwardness, they still hadn’t talked.

When she climbed into his SUV, he’d quietly asked if she could wait until after the funeral to deal with all the rest of it.

“Of course,” she’d said, and she’d meant it.

So they’d slept in different hotel rooms, met up before the funeral service. She’d held his hand during the internment, Sawyer watching the casket lower into the ground, so tense that she was worried he might faint.

After that, he’d seemed to need distance. So she bided her time, checking and rechecking her phone to see if her mother had called. Any minute now, she was going to sneak out and call Shiloh, just to check in.

“He’s something, isn’t he?”

Remy turned to find a statuesque brunette standing beside her, holding a matching champagne flute. In a curve-hugging black dress that showed off her fit, tanned body, no less.

“Sorry?” Remy asked, unsure if the woman was talking to her but not seeing anyone else around.

“Sawyer. I saw that you two arrived together.” The brunette’s lips curved in a humorless smile.

“Oh. Uh… we’re…” Remy started, then stopped. “Sorry, who are you?”

“Merissa,” she said, extending an elegant hand. “His girlfriend.”

Remy’s mouth opened, but no sound came out for a second.

“Oh,” was all she managed.

“Yeah. It’s funny, when he texted last night to say he was in town, I wasn’t expecting… well, I’m not sure why he brought you along. Third wheel, much?” she said, giving a little laugh. “That Sawyer, never thinking with the right head, huh?”

She tapped her temple. Remy blinked, immediately off-put.

“He’s never mentioned you,” Remy said slowly, canting her head to the side.

“Funny, I was about to say the same thing about you.”

Merissa gave her an indulgent smile, then tsked. “Men, huh?”

“Right,” Remy said, feeling cornered.

“Yeah. You know what’s so great about Sawyer, though? We always pick right up where we left off. Kinky sex, right out the gate. You know what I mean?” Merissa asked with a sly grin.

“Um, no?” Remy said, furrowing her brow.

“Oh… well. Don’t worry about it.” Merissa patted her arm.

“Will you excuse me?” Remy asked, putting her glass down on a table.

“Of course,” Merissa practically purred.

Heels clicking, Remy crossed the ballroom’s marble floor, headed straight for Sawyer. He turned and noticed her, giving her a nod but continuing his conversation with an elegant older woman.

“Would you mind if I borrowed him for a second?” Remy asked the woman, putting on her sweetest smile.

“Oh… sure,” the woman said, giving them a knowing look.

“Remy, what are you doing?” Sawyer asked as she dragged him off by the arm.

She towed him out of the ballroom toward a side hallway before rounding on him.

“I just met Merissa.”

Sawyer’s expression tightened. “Did you, now?”

“Yeah. She introduced herself to me as your girlfriend.”

“She’s a liar.”

“Was she lying when she said that you texted her last night when we got into town?”

Sawyer hesitated, then shook his head. “No. I did text her. I knew she was going to be… around.”

“Interesting,” Remy said, crossing her arms.

“It’s not what you think.”

“You don’t know what I think.”

“I wasn’t trying to see her last night or anything.”

“That’s good to know. You weren’t just going to hook up with her, with me in the next room?”

“Remy, don’t be like this.”

“Is she your girlfriend?”

“No.”

“Were you two together?”

His gaze narrowed. “Yes.”

“Did you break things off with her before…” Remy paused, taking a breath. “Before you spent the night with me?”

His expression darkened. “No. It wasn’t like that between us.”

“No?”

“I mean, between me and Merissa.”

“I can see why this would be very confusing for you.”

“Remy…” he tried.

“No, you know what? This was my fault. I thought we’d both grown up, that there was a chance for us to find a path forward, together. But…” she said, shaking her head. “I think I was just looking for a fairytale where one cannot exist.”

Turning, she started for the door.

“Where are you going?” Sawyer called.

She slowed, then turned. “I have a kid to take care of. I get that you have a lot going on, but… I can’t wait around to see if you maybe want to be with me, or maybe want to be with Merissa, or… whatever. I have Shiloh to think about.”

“Remy, don’t leave—”

But she was out the door, feeling like Cinderella fleeing the ball. She rushed over to a cab and climbed in, not looking back.

She shouldn’t have come here. It wasn’t where she belonged, not with things between her and Sawyer so up in the air.

There was one man who’d never let her down, though…

And if she got on a plane in the next hour, she just might make it home in time to tuck him into bed.