Once Max is inside and my mom knows she’s on duty, I head back out toward the front door.

“Where are you going?” my mom asks me, following me out.

“Going to grab some lunch,” I say quickly.

“With whom?”

“Friend from work.”

She frowns a bit. “I didn’t know you had any.”

“I don’t, but I’m trying to.”

She watches me for a second before bringing her glass of gin to her lips. “Have fun,” she says. I hesitate, but I quickly get the hell out of there. Mom is always drinking, but she never lets herself drink too much around Max. I trust her to keep him safe at the very least, even if I don’t trust her for much more than that.

I walk down the block as fast as I can before my mom can change her mind. I spot Luke standing outside of his beat-up old sedan, a little smile on his face.

“What do you think?” he asks, gesturing at the car.

“It’s beautiful. Much nicer than the truck.”

He laughs a little. “It’s all my uncle had. I’m just grateful I have a car at all.”

“Me too. I still feel guilty. And a little responsible.”

“You’re not responsible.” His smile falls away as I stop near him. “Come on, get in.”

I go around to the passenger’s side and he gets behind the wheel. We pull out, driving slowly through the neighborhood.

“What did you think?” I ask him.

“It was strange,” he says softly. “I mean, I don’t know him at all.”

“Of course not.”

“I don’t know what he likes or thinks is fun or whatever.”

“He’s a kid,” I say, shrugging. “Honestly, they all sort of like the same things, more or less.”

“That’s just it, I don’t know kids at all.”

“You’ll learn, trust me. I didn’t know anything when he was born, either.”

He glances at me. “That must have been hard.”

“Those first few months…” I trail off a little bit, remembering. I can see Max when he was first born all over again, the flood of emotions that ran through me at the time. I was a wreck for about a week afterwards, crying at the drop of a hat, but that went away and was replaced by a slow burning love mixed with exhaustion.

Luke suddenly slows the car down and pulls down a little side street. There’s nothing back here except an old underwear factory, but that’s been shut down for ages. He parks the car and we’re utterly alone, secluded on all sides by trees.

“Tell me about it,” he says earnestly. “I missed it, but I want to know.”

“Okay, well. It was hard.” I hesitate, trying to find the words. “You know all those clichés people use about being a parent? It’s all true, more or less. He wanted to eat constantly, especially that first month. He didn’t sleep through the night until like a month and a half in, and only then he slept maybe two or three nights a week. I was a zombie for the first five months of his life.”

“How did you do it?” he asks me.

“My parents,” I say. “Honestly, without them I don’t know where I’d be. I don’t know how single moms do it without help. There were times I just wanted him to stop crying so badly, I would have done anything.”

“I’m glad you have them,” he says softly, looking out the front windshield. “As much as they hate me, and as hard as they’ve made things for us… I’m glad you had your parents.”

“Me too.” I hesitate a second. “It’s why I didn’t talk to you in prison.”

He glances at me. “Yeah?”

“My parents threatened to kick me out if I did, and I couldn’t risk that. Not with Max.”

“I get it,” he says after a beat. “I’m glad you didn’t talk to me.”

“That can’t be true. You hated me.”

“I did,” he says softly and shrugs. “But now I get it. I don’t think I could have before, but now I do.”

I lean toward him, a strange vibration running up my spine. “I thought about you.”

“Did you?” he leans toward me, too.

“Every day. I never gave up on you, even when I really wanted to. I haven’t dated anyone since you left, haven’t kissed another pair of lips…”

“Haven’t been touched for five years,” he says softly.

I nod and I feel it all right then, the massive weight of my desire for him. I’ve put off so much to be with him again, to have him again, and I need it so badly that it hurts.

“I would have understood, if you needed comfort,” he says softly, reaching out toward me. He takes my hair in his fist and slowly pulls me toward him. His lips brush past mine. “If you needed someone to touch your body while I was gone. I wouldn’t have held it against you.”

“I couldn’t,” I say, half-gasping.

“I know. And that’s why I can’t keep punishing you.”

“Punishing me?”

“Every second that passes without you getting what you want is a punishment.” He pulls back slightly, looking into my eyes. “And I know I can make that all better.”

I press my lips against his furiously, starving for him, desire raging through me. He kisses me back and pulls me tighter, not slowing down. There’s no hint of hesitation or reservation in his kiss. It’s just pure, passionate need, and I know I’m about to give myself up to something that’s much bigger than me.

He shifts his seat back then pulls me over. He lifts my shirt up over my head, revealing my breasts barely covered by a tight black bra. His hands easily unhook it, and I let the bra slide forward. He pushes it aside, his hands on my chest, teasing my nipples as he kisses my lips.

My pussy is hot with need for him as I press myself tighter. I haven’t touched a man in five years, let alone straddled one like this. It feels so natural and right with Luke, and maybe that’s why I haven’t tried to find someone else. I knew nobody could touch me the same way Luke can.

He reaches down and unbuttons my jeans. He slides them over my ass and I sit up, helping him tug them down around my ankles. His hand slides forward, pressing down my panties, finding my soaking pussy.

“God damn,” he whispers in my ear. “I’ve dreamed about this pussy for five years. Do you know how badly I need to sink myself inside of you, Avery?”

“I need it too,” I whisper back. “Fuck, Luke. Five years is too long.”

“It’s way too long.” He presses his fingers inside of me, making me gasp, before rubbing along my clit. “You need to be taken care of. Good thing I’m home now.”

I gasp and bite his lip before kissing him harder. He starts to fuck my pussy with his fingers again. The windows are fogging up and I feel so exposed here, pretty much naked, straddling him. I reach down and unbuckle his belt, pulling open his jeans, before reaching down his boxer briefs and sliding out his hard cock. He shimmies his jeans down under his ass and I take him in both hands.

He’s thick and big, a lot bigger than I remembered. I slowly stroke him as he fucks my pussy and he feels so goddamn good. I can barely control myself, and just when I feel like I’ll burst, he slides his fingers out of me. He grabs my hips, pulls me forward, and slowly lets me slide down his length.

I gasp and toss my head back as he fills me up. He grabs my hips tight as he pushes all the way in, filling me up, making me groan. I haven’t been filled like this in five years, haven’t had a man’s rough hands on my hips in five years, haven’t felt this good in five years. He grabs my hair with one hand and pulls me forward, kissing me as he slowly pulls back and thrusts in again.

I take his cock, letting him fuck me. He kisses my lips, teases my breasts, and slaps my ass. I’m a ball of pleasure and longing and need, all pent-up and ready to be released. It’s five years of stress, anger, worry, and desire, all building on top of his huge cock.

He fucks me harder. “Is this what you’ve been needing?” he whispers. “My big dick in your pretty little cunt?”

“Yes,” I moan back. “Oh god, yes. I’ve been dreaming about your hands on my ass.”

He puts both hands on my ass and slaps it. “Like this?”

“God, yes. And your lips on my breasts.” He leans forward, taking a nipple between his lips. “Fuck, yes, Luke.”

He slams his cock inside of me and slaps my ass, sucking my nipple and fucking my pussy. I start to ride him, bucking back, and I reach my hands up to press back against the roof of the car. I use that as leverage, slamming down on his cock, and he handles me.

He pulls my hair back, tipping my head, making it hurt. His cock slams into me, a wet slap again and again, and I love that noise, needing it. I’m moaning now, my voice rising as my orgasm builds in my core. I press harder against the roof and slam down again and again, riding his big cock, letting him handle me and destroy me.

The orgasm comes fast, ripping through my skin, tearing me to pieces. I lean down and grip his shoulders as he fucks me mercilessly, not stopping at all, not even for a second.

The orgasm takes me somewhere else. I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s like all of the horrible things that have happened to me over the last five years suddenly disappear, and I’m in a new world. Here, it’s just me and Luke, and nothing bad can happen to us. It’s the way things should have been, the way things were before he went to prison.

I slowly come back to reality. He pulls me close and kisses me slowly. “I want you to taste it,” he whispers in my ear, and I know what he needs.

I climb off him, back to the passenger side. I take his cock in my mouth, the scent of my pussy still on him, and I start to suck him fast. He groans, pushing me deeper, sliding his cock into my throat. I gag but I don’t stop, I suck him hard and deep, needing every inch of him, needing him to feel good.

“Fuck, girl,” he groans, and I can taste it as he comes thick ropes into my mouth. I swallow him, every single drop of him, loving his taste, needing it so badly it almost hurts.

Slowly he finishes and pulls me against him. He turns the heat up high and holds me tight, and although I’m still pretty much naked, I don’t mind. This feels so good I can barely explain or understand it.

“I needed that,” I say finally, breaking the silence.

“Me too,” he admits. “More than you know.”

“Is it weird how not weird this feels?”

He laughs softly. “Yeah,” he says. “But also not really.”

I smile and bury my face in his shoulder. I don’t know where we’re going from here, what any of this means, but I don’t care. I had to feel this again. If we never touch again and this was a one-time thing, then so be it. But I’m not holding myself back from getting what I want anymore.