Asa

 

"What in the hell did you do that for?!" I was furious. Corinne had let her father see her. More than that, she had made damn sure that he would see her. Was she trying to get me into still deeper shit than I was already in? Or, did she just hate her father so much that she was determined to give him a coronary? I didn't know, but I was not going to let her get away with it.

 

Then I looked in the rearview mirror. "He's not following us."

 

"Of course he's not." Corinne sounded strangely numb, certainly not happy. "He'd happily engage you in a high-speed pursuit, and, if you accidentally killed yourself, so much the better. But there's no way he's going to risk me getting hurt."

 

"How does he know I won't hurt you?" I asked, still annoyed, but somewhat mollified.

 

"He may not like us being together, but he knows I can take care of myself. Besides, I think he knows that you're not out to hurt me."

 

That was probably true. All of it. She had saved my neck by forcing herself into the car and then letting her dad know that she was there. Still, I sat there quietly fuming. I was partly angry because she was right, and there are few things more annoying to a man used to being in charge than having some girl prove him wrong. We know it's petty, and we're not proud of it, but there it is. The other reason I was still angry was that this was not what I had wanted. I would rather have been caught and taken the full force of whatever Brian Dugas had to offer, than be in this situation. The one thing that I had set out to avoid had happened: Corinne was now part of my world, a fugitive on the run from the law. How the hell had I let this happen? Why the hell had she insisted that this happen?

 

"Are you angry with me?" Corinne asked.

 

"Of course I am!"

 

"I saved your life!"

 

"I'd have been fine," I scoffed, with more confidence than I deserved. "I've been in more police chases than I can remember, and I'm still walking. I could have lost him without you sticking your nose in."

 

"I don't care how many chases you've been in. None of them were with my dad."

 

Considering how much she had apparently despised her dad and her upbringing, Corinne was amazingly protective of her old man. She was a complex little package where family was concerned. There was a lot going on beneath the surface. She hadn't wanted to hurt him, but had felt torn and had sided with me, leaving her no choice but to hurt him. Maybe she was regretting that now, or, at the very least, feeling guilty about it.

 

I should have been sensitive to that, but I was too angry right now. "You should have gone home when you had the chance. You've ruined your life and upset your dad, so now he's more pissed at me than ever."

 

"I just thought ..."

 

"That's the one thing you didn't do. How many times do I have to tell you that we can’t work? There's no future. There's nothing. And you still do something stupid like this."

 

Corinne made no reply.

 

I was too angry to think about what I was saying and so, finally, had the good sense to shut up. I needed to get off the road. I needed to stop running for long enough to be able to think clearly. If nothing else, Corinne's actions had made that a viable possibility. For the moment, at least, there were no police on my trail, and I had the option of finding an out-of-the-way motel and getting my plans straight.

 

"I know a place where we can spend the night," I said, trying to be a little conciliatory after shouting at her and blaming her.

 

"Okay." I wasn't sure if she was mad at me, or upset, or if it had just been a long night.

 

It had been a good night, too, at the start. There was no getting around that. If only I had taken her straight home. If only ...

 

I cut off the train of thought before it could go any further. A man can waste his life leafing through a list of regrets.

 

We reached an out-of-the-way motel as the sun was beginning to rise, and I booked us into a room. The place was in the middle of nowhere and on a direct route between nowhere and nowhere else. I often thought it was only used by criminals on the run, looking for a place to hide, and the only reason the police didn't raid it on a weekly basis was because they never knew who or what they might find when they got there. Contrary to what some might say, there is loyalty amongst thieves where cops are concerned.

 

As soon as we were in our room, and I had closed the door, I spoke.

 

"You have to go home."

 

Corinne rounded on me. "What? Are you crazy? I mean, it was a dumb idea back in town. Now it's practically suicide."

 

"Your father won't hurt you."

 

"Not for me, you idiot, for you! I'm the only thing keeping you safe. As long as I'm with you, you're not going to die mysteriously during a police shoot-out."

 

"That doesn't matter." I wasn't going to tell her she was wrong, because she was smarter than that. We both knew she was right, but as far as I was concerned, the time had passed for taking such things into account. It was nice that she wanted to save me. It meant a lot to me that I mattered to her (not that I would tell her that). But matters had gone in a bad direction fast. The only thing that mattered to me now was getting Corinne back to the safety of her family and trying to undo as much as possible of the bad I had done. It wouldn't be easy, but I was determined to try, and I wasn't going to let her whining stop me. I tried to master my temper. Truthfully I didn't have a lot of reason to be angry at her and, besides, shouting didn't seem to have much effect.

 

"Look, I'm not going to deny that there is something between us. After tonight, that would be pretty stupid. And I'm not going to deny that, perhaps in other circumstances, it might have proved to be something great. But these are the circumstances we have, and it's time to stop living in a dream world. We had our moment, and it was wonderful, but it's over. It's done. We have to stop pretending to ourselves that this could ever be anything. The best place for you is back with your family. Your dad obviously cares about you, or he wouldn't have done all he's done. He doesn't want you to wind up with someone like me, and he's absolutely right about that. You shouldn't. He and I agree on that. I know I shouldn't have shouted at you in the car, and I'm sorry for that. I still think you did the wrong thing, but I know you did what you did to protect me, and I am grateful to you. But the fact is, the immediate danger is gone now. I know you think you're protecting me by sticking around and that your father won't come for me if we're together, but I'm not so sure any more. I think maybe he's now more likely to come after me. After all, I've got his daughter. So, it's not just better for you that you go home, it's better for me too. What do you say?"

 

"No."

 

Given what a long and impassioned speech I had made, I felt like she could have said a little more than just no. "Why not?"

 

"Because most of what you just said is a total crock."

 

My temper flared again. I had tried to be diplomatic, but here was Corinne acting like a kid again. "Is that right?"

 

"You're damn right, it's right!" She snapped. "We are safer sticking together. Both of us."

 

"I'll take my chances. And while your dad may be angry, I think you'll come through it."

 

"We're all that we have! I have you, and you have me. We're the only ones we can trust or turn to."

 

I shook my head. "You have a family. A father, and a sister. And it's time you got back to them."

 

Corinne's eyes narrowed, and she spoke with more venom than I would have imagined her capable of. "If I go home now, when my father is done yelling at me, then he will sit me down and interrogate me for every detail of your life. He'll want to know every little thing, and you know what? I'll probably tell him. Because everybody cracks, eventually, and because he's my dad, and whatever you think, I do care about him very much. And because you're being a dick, so why shouldn't I tell him every damn thing I know?!"

 

I shrugged. "Then tell him. Sooner or later, some cop is going to catch up to me. Why not your dad? I had a good run. Thirteen years. But people in my profession don't retire. We end up behind bars, or on a mortician's slab. That's how it goes. Tell him."

 

"What about Joseph? What about Fiona?"

 

I stiffened at her words. "What about them?"

 

"Do you think my dad knows their names? Knows how involved they are in your organization? I bet he thinks Fiona is just a bar owner who buys from you and pays protection, but we both know she's much more than that. He'll ask me. And I'll tell him."

 

I'd never struck a woman in my life, and I reserved a special hatred for the men who did. But right at that moment, I was sorely tempted to slap Corinne right across her face for dragging my friends into this.

 

"Are you threatening me?"

 

"I'm telling you why we need to stick together."

 

"You're telling me that you're going to throw good people under the bus, just so you can try to keep hold of me." I leaned in closer to her. "You think that's what I look for in a woman?"

 

"I just don't want to lose you!" As she blurted the words out, the hard facade of her face cracked, and she burst into tears. I took her in my arms and comforted her. Corinne Dugas was such a damn fine liar and actress that it could be hard to tell when you were talking to the girl herself. I had already seen her play the sexy, bad-girl temptress, and now I had seen the hard-as-nails bitch. Neither of them represented the real girl. I wondered what other characters she had in her repertoire. I also wondered at what age, and for what reason, she had decided that playing a part was the best way to get what she wanted. Maybe she hadn't had an upbringing that compared to mine, but life with the sheriff must have had its challenges.

 

"I'm sorry," she sobbed into my shirt.

 

"Don't worry," I chided.

 

"I wouldn't really have said anything about you. Or Fiona or Joseph. You believe me, don't you?"

 

"Of course I do." And I did. I had already witnessed what this slightly crazy girl was willing to do for me, and how much she was willing to sacrifice. No way was she giving me up to Brian Dugas, or to anyone else for that matter. If the sheriff did 'interrogate' her (which I thought pretty unlikely), she was far more likely to just lie her ass off. That was, after all, what she did best.

 

There was no couch in the little room, so I guided her to the bed and sat her down beside me as she continued to cling to me and cry. The initial outpouring had been more fear than anything else, but now that had subsided, and she cried softly and silently. Whichever way you looked at it, the girl had lost something tonight—a father, a family, the security she had taken for granted from the day she was born. Perhaps she had lost it knowingly, perhaps she had lost it for a reason, but that made it no less of a blow, and the reality of it was only now sinking in for her. What she was left with was me. Which, in my opinion, was a very sad state of affairs indeed, but it was one that she had consciously chosen. I was her choice. And to rob her of that choice, on a night when she had already lost so much, would be a very cruel thing to do, indeed.

 

I sighed. I wanted so much to do what was best for Corinne, but, for one reason or another, I kept on failing. I could have left her alone after Dugas let me out of jail, but instead I sought her out. I could have laid down the law to her at our picnic, but ended up laying something else instead. I could pretend that I was always motivated by her best interests, but when you looked back through our recent history, it started to look a lot more like I was obsessed with her and kept coming up with excuses to spend time in her company (she had accused me of something along those lines earlier). And now, when she needed me most, when I was all she had in the world, I was trying to get rid of her. How could I do such a thing?

 

But, then again, was I just using her obvious fragility and insecurity as another excuse to be with her? The feel of her small body nestled up to mine was suddenly foremost in my consciousness, and I became all too aware of her hands hugging me to her.

 

What was my rationale for keeping her here? Why wasn't I sending her back to her father?

 

The answers to those questions failed to appear, but I ignored that fact and decided to just believe that I was doing the best thing for Corinne. She could hardly be sent out alone in her current state. She needed to be with someone. Someone who loved her.

 

Perhaps I was just using the situation as an excuse to keep her with me. But it was clearly what we both wanted. How could that be wrong?

 

That question, I could answer. It was wrong because it could never be real. It could never last. It could be a night, a day, or even a week. But men like me and women like her ... No. I might have stronger feelings for her than any I had entertained for any woman I had ever known before, but those feelings could only go so far. I belonged to War Cry, to the road, to the life I had chosen.

 

But it was amazing how little such things seemed to matter now. It was amazing how easy it was to forget them when Corinne stretched up to me, and her sweet lips brushed against mine.

 

We dissolved into the kiss, holding each other as if we were, as she had said, all that we had in the world. I felt her small hands caressing my body, and was almost surprised to realize that mine were doing the same. As I touched her firm, feminine form, memories from earlier that night rose up hotly in my mind. Each part of her body seemed to recall a specific moment, which flared into brief clarity like a kindled flame, before being extinguished by the next. The smell of her mingled in my mind with recollections of her scent when we had lain together beside the lake. The taut curve of her backside brought back the sight of it as we had walked down from the cliff top. The flat expanse of her belly reminded me of lowering my head to kiss her bellybutton and dip my tongue into it. The sensations of the night before assuaged and overwhelmed me, making the squalid little room vanish, replaced by the wide vistas of the cliff top with the waterfall below it.

 

Despite the strenuous activity of that night, the memories caused a more physical reaction in me as well. Corinne's hand stole up along my thigh, and I did nothing to stop it. She moaned softly into my mouth as her hand reached its ultimate goal and squeezed hard, firing me up still further with potent desire for this woman. One by one she popped open the buttons of my pants, then reached within and drew me out, more than ready for her. Her hand wandered idly up and down my straining length, fingers playing me like an instrument, stroking and tugging without warning and without a plan, simply touching for its own sake.

 

Between kisses, she murmured, half-drunk with desire. "I want to make you happy. Please let me make you happy."

 

When she lowered her head, I was in no mood to stop her. I gasped as she took me into her hot little mouth, drawing on me hard, her hands still wrapped tightly about the base. As she started her work in earnest, I pulled off my jacket and T-shirt. There then began a strange and awkward back-and-forth tussle, as I tried to undress us both while she refused to release me from her lips. I wriggled back on the bed, and she followed me, sucking all the while. From here, I was able to reach her shoes, which I removed before tossing them across the room. Then I groped beneath her to undo her pants, before scooting them down her legs and taking her underwear with them, leaving her bottom half adorably bare. I stroked the cheeks of her bottom, and she gave me a playful bite, which I answered with a playful smack.

 

Reaching over her bobbing head, I was able to get my own shoes off and, with bit more struggling and shifting of positions, my own pants and underwear finally joined our other clothes on the floor by the bed. Corinne's top proved the most problematic, as it had to come off over her head and, currently, that head was fully occupied, welded to me. Finally, with much coaxing, I got her to relinquish her insatiable grip for just long enough for me to tug the offending garment off. She immediately descended once more, taking me back into her ravenous mouth.

 

I settled back on the bed, reveling in the sensations boiling up from below. There was an intensity in Corinne's actions now. The light-hearted fun and experimentation of the night before was gone, to be replaced with a laser-like focus on the task in hand, the task of pleasuring me. I realized that she was trying to win me, to possess me, as if she thought that, if she sucked hard enough and well enough, then she could bring me into her life.

 

Perhaps it was heartless of me to let her continue when I knew that there was no hope of such an outcome. Perhaps it would have been heartless of me to stop her doing something that was making her so happy, or to snatch away the fantasy to which she was currently clinging. Perhaps part of me needed to believe in that fantasy too, if only for a while. Or, perhaps, I was just too selfish to urge her to stop the wonderful things she was doing to me.

 

I tried to put all such concerns to one side and live in the moment, relaxing back against the pillows, staring at the ceiling, and feeling nothing but Corinne's mouth. She was taking me closer and closer to the point of no return, a dangerous position to be in when I still had to make love to her. With another woman, I might have given up and gone off in her mouth, or pulled out then. But with Corinne, it was different. No matter how close she took me, I knew I would have the strength to make her happy. For her, I would always find it.