Mother found me on the front porch. I was staring at the old oak trees, dripping in Spanish moss, but I really didn’t see them. I was lost in my gloomy thoughts.

Mother didn’t seem to share my mood. She was smiling in her satisfaction. Savoring her victory over me, she strolled over and leaned against the wrought iron railing.

"I told you Nathan would never allow Savannah to be disrespected. When are you going to realize he is simply using you as a cheap, convenient replacement?" She made a face of displeasure, wrinkling her nose and shaking her head at me. "Although why he chose you for that role, I will never understand. Almost anyone else would be a better choice."

I remained silent, considering her words. What if she was right? My mother had said almost the exact same thing.

"Did you know he proposed to her there, in New York City?"

Shocked, my jaw dropped, and I gasped and turned to face her. “What are you talking about?”

"That's right, Miss Turner. That is not where they met, of course. They grew up here as children, sometimes playing together. He followed her around like a puppy. She had many suitors after her as she grew, but none had the money or the clout that my Nathan has."

She smiled her cold smile. "Nathan was the clear choice for her. Once he realized she was coming around to his way of thinking, he flew her out to New York for a romantic weekend. He proposed to her at the top of the Empire State building, and they came back here, hand in hand. So in love."

I gripped the porch railing tighter.

He proposed to Savannah where he had taken me on our first date. I felt betrayed as if he had cheated on me. My stomach hurt as I thought about the two of them standing in the same spot where Nathan had wrapped his arms around me.

I closed my eyes and told myself I had to stop these negative thoughts. They were only making me crazy. After all, how could he cheat on me years before we even met?

I opened my eyes. But why take me there on our first date?

Was he using me to relive his precious memories of Savannah?

I was so confused and despondent, so hurt. There was nothing I could say to Mother in response, and she knew it. Laughing softly in that irritating way she had, she went back inside and left me to my growing feelings of inadequacy.

I paced the length of the porch. Was my marriage failing? We should be in the honeymoon phase, laughing and holding hands, shooting furtive, lusty looks at each other when we thought no one was looking. Instead, I seemed to be fighting a ghost for my husband's affections. I was in way over my head.

My mom had been right. I was too young for this. Too unsophisticated for the dance I found myself in. A more mature individual would find a way to put Mother in her place, and build a bridge to Nathan. Even though we had never been close, I found myself wanting to talk to my mother right now.

Pulling my cell phone out of my back pocket, I dialed her number.

"Mom?"

"Darby? I'm surprised to hear from you." She sounded as cold as Nathan's mother.

My heart twisted. Already I knew I had made a mistake in calling her. What could she possibly have to offer me other than an "I told you so"? But she was my mom, and I needed a mom right now.

"I'm not sure what I'm doing. I love him, but I’m feeling a little lost right now.”

My mom didn’t reply, so I went on.  “I love Nathan, but being married is hard sometimes."

I fought hard to keep the tears from my voice, but I'm not sure how successful I was.

She laughed. "Yes, Darby, marriage is hard. It's especially hard when you rush into it with a much older man who is obviously using you to relieve his loneliness." She paused a moment to let her words sink in. "Do you ever wonder why you are attracted to such an older man, instead of someone like Michael? Do you ever think maybe you are using Nathan as a substitute father figure because your father left when you were just a baby?"

That hurt. I had never really missed having a father growing up. Many of my friends were the product of broken marriages, and it hadn’t been a big deal. But her words seemed to open an old wound I hadn’t even realized was there.

Well, one thing I could always count on with my mother, she didn't waste time. She jumped right into her criticism of my life. What did she know about marriage anyway? My dad had left us when I was a baby, as she was so quick to point out all the time.

I sighed in defeat.

“How are things in Silver Falls?” I barely listened to her answer. I just wanted to go hide somewhere and cry.

My mom rambled about Michael dating some girl he met on the flight home. Why did she think I would care about that?

I told her how beautiful Peacock Alley was. When we were reduced to discussing the weather, I knew the call had run its course, and I said my goodbyes.

Standing there all alone on the grand porch, I wallowed in my depression. I was happy that I hadn't engaged in an argument with my mom, but sad because I knew I wouldn't be calling her again for a long time. What would be the point?

A slight breeze picked up, blowing across my face. It brought no real relief from the heat, but I lifted my face to it anyway.

Suddenly, I detected a faint scent of jasmine and lilies in the breeze, and I shivered as if it was winter.