SEVENTEEN

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New York City in the spring was a lot nicer than Katie remembered from her last visit for the annual network upfronts—the TV networks’ presentation to sponsors and the media. Last year, it had rained almost the entire time, but when she got out of the car in front of her hotel, the weather was sunny and mild.

The network had asked that all three Roomies travel together and stay in the same hotel, so Ellery and Dana were there with her. Katie had fully expected Ellery to look pale and wan, as she had the last time Katie had seen her, but two months of staying with her grandparents in Indiana had done wonders for Ell. She’d put on a little weight, and she looked tanned and healthy.

Happy, too.

She was traveling with someone from her publicist’s office, a woman she seemed to get along with really well. Dana was with her husband, Harry, a former football player who did a great job of convincing the paparazzi to back off—at least to a reasonable distance. Harry’s skills were needed here, Katie noticed: the sidewalk in front of the hotel was crowded with photographers, and they were all shouting and pushing, trying to get the best shots.

Doug was there, too, of course.

Some of the photographers were shooting video, and as the three Roomies and their escorts moved toward the entrance of the hotel, they called out questions, some of which made Katie want to ask them, “Are you kidding?”

The worst of them was, “Hey, Ellery! Did it happen again?”

Ellery did her best to keep smiling, but Katie saw her flinch. She’d whispered to Katie and Dana in the car what the latest gossip was: that all those rumored pregnancies hadn’t resulted in a baby because she’d miscarried, over and over again. Some of the tabloids had hinted at something worse, something Ellery swore she would never, ever do, but the story about her ‘heartbreaking losses’ seemed to be the big favorite.

“I don’t know what I did to deserve this,” she’d murmured to her co-stars in a trembling voice. “I honestly don’t know what I ever did.”

Now, her two co-stars took her hands, and together they stood smiling for the cadre of photographers.

“This way, Ellery! Look this way!”

“Hey, Katie! Lookin’ good, babe!”

“Dana! Show us some leg, honey!”

They were rough and loud, most of these men—almost all of them were men—and they seemed to have no sense of decorum whatsoever. No idea what was polite to say to a woman out on the street. Or maybe they didn’t care.

Katie, Ellery and Dana stood in front of the hotel for a couple of minutes, with Doug, Harry, and Elizabeth, the woman from Ellery’s publicist’s office, standing out of camera range nearby. The three women smiled and struck poses, quipped back at the photographers who were at least reasonably friendly, and signed a few autographs for the people who shoved stacks of 8x10 photos at them.

Those people would be identified in the media as fans, Katie knew. But they weren’t. Within a few hours, those signed photos would be available for sale online, some of them for hundreds of dollars.

She looked around when she could, scanning the crowd for someone who might actually be a fan, but she could find no one. This whole thing was simply a money-making exercise.

Hooray for Hollywood, she thought wryly.

A few minutes later, they were safely upstairs on a secure floor of the hotel. At the network’s request, they’d been given rooms close to each other, and at the end of the hall was a large, private room with several sofas and a small kitchen that they could use to gather in whenever they chose. It was already well-stocked with food and drink, including several bottles of expensive champagne, and there was a wrapped gift from Tiffany’s waiting for each Roomie.

Although there’d be parties and interviews later on, the three women chose to enjoy their hour of free time by changing into more comfortable clothes, then got together in that big room to have something to eat and sip some champagne.

Except for Dana.

Sheepishly, she accepted a glass of sparkling water from her husband, then said to the others, “I have something to tell you.”

“Nooooo!” Katie and Ellery squealed together, then swooped in to hug and congratulate her.

It was true, Dana said: she and Harry were expecting a baby. “I know the timing isn’t the best, but—well, there it is.” Grinning now, she settled onto one of the big sofas with Harry beside her. “They’ll just have to do the old ‘hold stuff in front of you when you’re on camera’ trick for part of next season. The women in my family don’t get very big, so it shouldn’t be too much of a problem.”

She sipped some of her water before she told Ellery, “I thought maybe this would take some of the pressure off you. If one of us is actually pregnant, maybe they’ll settle for pictures of me.”

Ellery sighed heavily. “Maybe.”

Then they both turned to Katie. “Or they’ll focus on you. Girl, you looked spectacular in those pictures!” Dana said, so obviously pleased that Katie had to blush. “I’ve been following what you’re doing. You really came out of the shadows. I love it. You deserve some attention.”

She didn’t seem at all envious. That wouldn’t be Dana; she was happy to do her work, do some publicity when it was necessary, and enjoy the rest of her time with her husband. She looked so tranquil now, nestled into Harry’s embrace, that Katie couldn’t help but envy her.

Dana was content.

 

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This time, the network hadn’t asked that they dress in character for the upfront presentation, so they were able to appear in stylish, pretty clothes. Nothing confining or risky, to Katie’s relief. Still, they’d look good on the fashion pages of whatever magazine or website chose to feature them. She felt confident as they took the stage to enthusiastic applause, hoping that things were turning around—that this season, each Roomie would get what she wanted, onscreen as well as off.

“You did great,” Doug told her as she left the stage.

“Did I?”

He seemed pleased. Pleased for her, as well. Once again, she was glad to have him there, this guy who related to her as a human being and not as some sort of trained circus act.

“What’s next?” she asked him.

“Across the street to Eduardo’s,” he said, naming the restaurant the network had booked for some socializing between their actors and the sponsors’ representatives. That, too, would be covered by the media, and Katie knew the paparazzi would be staked out all along the street. “That’s ninety minutes. Then you’ll have some free time before the cocktail hour and dinner.”

Out of the corner of her eye, Katie could see Dana and Harry chatting with someone in a suit. Ellery had disappeared, but Elizabeth was standing near the end of a hallway that Katie thought might lead to the ladies’ room.

“I’m worried about Ellery,” she told Doug.

“Elizabeth can take care of her. I’m sure she’s—”

“You might be, but I’m not. Please wait here.”

Before Doug could protest, Katie turned and headed for that hallway, careful not to move so fast that she’d attract attention. As she’d thought, the restrooms were down there, and she pushed open the door to the ladies’ room more than a little worried about what she might find.

To her relief, Ellery was simply standing in front of a sink, running cool water over her hands.

“It’s hard,” she said. “Jumping back into all this.”

“Are you okay?” Katie asked. Ellery started to reply, but Katie pressed, “Be honest with me.”

“I’ll get through it.”

Ellery should have brought a friend with her, Katie thought. Someone who’d be more worried about Ellery’s wellbeing than about making the network and the sponsors happy. As the day went on, that sense of equilibrium Katie had seen in her early on had been steadily evaporating, and if it went on at this rate, by dinnertime she’d be a mess.

“They act like it’s a game,” Ellery confessed. “Like it’s some sort of contest to see who can shame me the most.”

“The people who love you know the truth, Ell.”

“Do they?”

“Of course they do. We do.” Struck by the sadness in Ellery’s eyes, Katie moved in close and embraced her. At first, Ellery resisted; then she sank into the comfort of Katie’s arms. “Stick with me and Dana, okay?” Katie told her. “We’ll watch your back. I promise.”

For what seemed like a while, they stood there wobbling together.

Then, finally, Ellery drew back a little, and there was a new light in her eyes, one that Katie couldn’t remember having seen before.

“I didn’t want to tell anyone,” she said softly. “I don’t want to jinx it. But I met someone. Back home, where my grandparents live.”

“You did?”

She nodded. “His name is Steven. He’s a teacher. He’s so sweet, Katie. It doesn’t matter to him that I’m some big star. He just—he treats me like a normal person. And he’s so kind.”

There were tears welling in her eyes.

“That’s wonderful,” Katie said, and meant it. “I’m so happy for you.”

“There’s never been anybody this special before. Not like him. We like to just curl up on the couch with some popcorn and watch movies. Or take a long walk and hold hands. He likes to tell me about his kids. His students. He’s so proud of them all. And they really love him.”

“Do you?”

“I think so,” Ellery said.

Again, Katie hugged her friend. “That’s wonderful,” she said again. “He sounds like a really special guy.”

“He is.”

Because Ellery’s tears were threatening to spill over, Katie grabbed a paper towel for her and stood watching as Ellery dabbed her eyes, careful not to disturb her makeup.

“We think it’ll work,” she said when she’d finished. “He gets the summer off, so he can come out here. And we get a week off every month, plus hiatus, so I can go out there. That’s a lot of time together. Not the best, but—”

“You can FaceTime in between.”

Ellery nodded, her enthusiasm beginning to come back. Then it faded again. “Please don’t tell anyone.”

“I won’t.”

“The worst thing I can think of is that those papers will get hold of it, and they’ll start chasing him around.”

“I won’t breathe a word of it. I promise.”

Ell seemed to accept that, but there still seemed to be something on her mind, something that was even more risky to admit than the fact that she’d fallen in love. Katie waited patiently, more than willing to let Ellery keep her silence if that was what she felt she needed to do.

“I thought about it,” Ellery said, more to the floor than to Katie.

“About what?”

“Doing something to get out of my contract.”

Katie had wondered about that more than once. All three of them were tied in for five more seasons—five more years that would seem like an eternity if you’re weren’t happy. Worse if you were miserable, as Ellery had been, and might still be.

“What did you decide?” Katie asked.

Slowly, as if she were pulling herself up out of the mud, Ellery straightened up and looked Katie in the eye. “I’m going to be a professional,” she said. “I’ve told my manager what I can put up with, and what I can’t. They seem to want to headline you now, because I messed up so much. And that’s fine. I’m going to step back and let you be the star.”

Coming from a lot of other people in Hollywood, that might have sounded catty or manipulative. From Ellery, it was neither of those things.

Instead, Katie could hear in her co-star’s voice the same words she’d heard from her mother so many, many times.

Be careful what you wish for.

It took Katie a long while to be able to say, “Okay. That’s… thank you.”