“You sure you don’t want me to stay?” Alec asked, coming back into the room after he had checked out her upstairs.

Penni placed her makeup case on the small, round table in the area off the living room. “No thanks. I’m just going to bed and sleeping for a week.”

Penni locked the door after Alec left before going to the pantry and pulling out a bag of duck feed, shoving three scoops into a large baggie.

Going outside, she walked through the small neighborhood. It was only a short walk to the lake that faced the back of her condo. She could have easily climbed over the wall, but she had no desire to get stung if there were any stray bees that had been missed by the college when they had come to remove the hive. She would wait to check out her backyard when she wasn’t so tired.

She would feed the ducks first. Then she promised herself the sleeping marathon she had told Alec about.

There were several people around the mini-lake. It was barely ten in the morning, and the lake was secluded, but many in the community liked to sit there and eat their lunch.

The peace stole over her as she fed the ducks. Penni then sat on one of the benches under a large, shady tree when the bag was empty.

Leaning her head back, she closed her eyes, letting the shadows hit her eyelids. She stretched her hands, reaching out and letting the peace and tranquility invade her soul.

“I’ve never seen you sit still.”

“Go away.” Penni didn’t raise her eyelids. She had no intention of seeing Jackal’s face again.

She felt him sitting down next her on the bench.

“I’m not going away. I’ve been take caring of your ducks for weeks now; the least you could do is look at me.”

Penni snapped her head up. “Colton’s been taking care of them.”

“Colton did it until I got back in town. I’ve been doing it for the last three weeks.”

“I’m back now, so you won’t have to do it anymore.” Penni tried to sound grateful yet failed miserably. She waved him off with a shoo gesture.

Jackal shoved his hands into his pockets. “How’s Genny doing?”

With a disgruntled sigh, she answered, “Good. She moved in with one of the backup singers who needed a roommate.”

“I’m surprised you didn’t offer for her to move in with you.”

“I did. I think she wants a fresh start without being reminded of Treepoint every day. Shade said that Hennessy is back in Colt, Arkansas.”

“Yeah, he left the same day we did. The DEA and the Mexican police arrested those who orchestrated the attack on The Last Riders’ clubhouse. Viper said the Mexican authorities were relieved to bring the cartel up on charges and arrest them.” Jackal’s skeptical tone had her finally looking at him.

“You don’t believe them?”

“The cartel had too much power to have gone unnoticed for as long they did. They have to have someone in their pocket, shielding them.”

“At least they’re too busy now to give Hennessy anymore trouble.” Penni gazed at the lake, unable to look at him any longer.

“Lucky, Shade, and Cade are going to make sure there won’t be any chance of them escaping justice this time. They’re trying to get them extradited to the United States.”

“What about the Unjust Soldiers?”

“There aren’t any left.”

“I’m glad. I don’t like Hennessy, but he was trying to help out a friend. That, I can understand.”

“You’re going to give Hennessy a break and not me?”

“I’m not going to talk about what happened.” Penni tightened her lips, forcing back the volatile words she wanted to spew at him.

“You’re not ready to talk about it yet?”

“No.” Penni jerked her gaze back to the lake.

“Okay.”

A duck waddled to the edge of the water with her seven ducklings following her, popping into the water one after another.

“Why did you stick so many forks and spoons in the ground?” Jackal pointed at one of the utensils buried in the dirt.

“How did you know they were there?” Penni asked sharply.

“Busted my front tire on one.”

“That’s why,” she chided. “Motorcyclists and bicyclist ride on the grass. Two months ago, someone ran over and killed one of the baby ducks.”

“Oh. Why not just post ‘no riding on the grass’ signs?”

“Like that one?” Penni pointed at a sign on the wooden pole a few inches from them.

“I didn’t see it.”

His contrite expression had her thawing her frosty behavior toward him.

“Most people don’t. I tried to get them to post larger signs, but the HOA that established the lake doesn’t want to spoil the natural beauty of it. They only recently started putting cameras on the light poles and posted signs so people would know they were being watched. So having to make a bigger sign telling them to stay off the grass has them dragging their feet.”

“Why the cameras? Are people stealing the ducks to take them home?” Jackal joked.

“No. Someone is killing them. The last one was right before I left. They killed a swan. It was horrible. Swans mate for life. Its mate kept swimming around, calling for it.” Penni swallowed the painful lump in her throat at the memory of it.

“Damn. Which one?” Jackal asked, staring at the lake.

“Why? Are you going to tell him you’re sorry?” Penni barely held back her laughter.

“Don’t give me that crap. I know you know which one it is.”

Penni nodded toward a spot where a beautiful swan was gracefully gliding along the water not far from where they were sitting.

“See? I know you.”

Jackal’s complacency had her looking away, her smile dying.

“You don’t know me at all. You don’t know that I felt like an outsider in my own age group, that I couldn’t measure up to my mother’s expectations on how I should act. The only time I felt alive was when I was doing something that could have gotten me hurt.

“When Shade came to visit, he could make the emptiness go away. Then he would leave again, and it would start over. He used to take me to a park a couple of miles away from our home, and we would stare out at the lake.

“He taught me how to breathe, Jackal. How to breathe in and out until I could feel my heartbeat in my chest. I finally understood the difference between being alive and just existing.

“Shade felt empty inside, unable to connect to others. I did, too, but to a different extent. I felt too much. It was as if I were living my life running a marathon, and I could only do so much to accomplish everything I wanted.

“One day, I talked a little girl who lived next to me to walk to the lake with me. It was near a freeway. My mother noticed us missing from the backyard and found us near the onramp. My mother couldn’t understand why I’d done it. Shade did.

“When he moved to Treepoint, I saw a light I had never seen in Shade before. One night after Lily had become my roommate, I saw him sitting outside our window, so I went outside to talk him to him.” Penni took a deep breath before continuing her story. “I saw in him pain, a pain I never believed he could even feel. He couldn’t stand being separated from Lily, and they weren’t even a couple yet.

“I missed their wedding, but saw a video of it. His face … God, his face. It was like nothing I had seen before. He was happy. Shade was happy. Love and joy shined in his eyes. It was if he had found all the answers in life I had been searching for.

“Then, when Lily was almost killed by a stalker of Shade’s, she couldn’t bear that she was responsible for someone’s death. She was in a coma, and the doctors thought she would be too traumatized to pull out of it. Shade stayed by her side; he wouldn’t leave her. They said he kept calling for her over and over. He called for her until she came back. Like the swan, Shade would call for her. Lily is Shade’s soul mate.”

Penni took another breath before looking at Jackal. “I won’t take any less for myself. I have to find my soul mate so I can finally stop running. I thought I could make Train love me, but I couldn’t, and finally, after all these years, I know now I never loved him. If I had, I would have stopped running long before now.

“Penni, you never stood a chance of being with Train.”

“Wow. That hurts. I know I’m not as attractive as most of the women he’s been with at the club, but I’m not exactly puppy chow, either.”

“The way you look isn’t the issue. Babe, you were mine when I saw you flip me off as you came out of the hotel.”

“You kidna—”

Jackal covered her mouth with his hand, cutting off her words.

“I’m never going to live that down, am I?” Jackal removed his hand when she tried to bite him.

“No.”

“I can live with that … just like I’m going have to live with you seeing me with Raci.”

“Yes, you are!” Penni snapped. The fury that had subsided over the last three weeks flared again. She stood up to stare down at him. “You want to know something funny? I forgave you for kidnapping me. I forgave you for leaving me at the rest area. I even freakin’ forgave you for the duct tape you put on my mouth when I called you a spineless needle dick for kidnapping me. I forgave for you for all of that, but what I can’t or won’t forgive is you being with Raci.”

Penni began walking away from him.

“You can keep walking away from me,” Jackal raised his voice when she didn’t look back, “but you’re still going to hear me call after you. I love you, Penni. No matter how many times you don’t want to hear me say it, I love you.”

Penni began running as fast as she could. She had heard the aching pain in his voice. With every beat of her stuttering heart, she heard him calling to her.

She opened her front door, slamming it behind her before sinking down onto the carpet.

A whisper filled the silent house. “Jackal.”