Chapter 20
SEVERAL HOURS LATER, Allie lay huddled in her bed, shivering under four blankets. Her hooded sweatshirt was pulled up over her head and she’d lost all feeling in her nose. She’d nearly gotten out of bed several times and crossed the hundred yards to bang on Dex’s door, but had been worried he wouldn’t answer. Then she’d have been even more humiliated and cold than she already was.
Besides, he’d been a jerk, anyway, throwing that line about “wounded pride” at her. Just because she didn’t want to accept his help more than she needed to didn’t mean she was too proud.
At this point, though, she wasn’t feeling terribly concerned with owing him anything. Especially since she couldn’t seem to get her toes warm.
A noise coming from the kitchen brought her head up, and her stomach tightened in fear. Had the raccoons found a way back in?
Her bedroom door opened and the dark form in her doorway shone a flashlight in her face, blinding her.
“Ah, what the hell?” she cried.
“You are the biggest pain in the ass I have ever met, you know that?” Dex’s deep voice growled. He came around the side of the bed, and without waiting for her to say anything, he picked her up, swaddled in the blankets, and headed for the door.
“You don’t have to carry me. I give in. You were right.”
“I’m not taking any chances that you’ll change your mind. I almost left you here all night to teach you a lesson.”
“Why didn’t you?”
She silently begged him to say something. If Dex had been worried about her, it meant he had to care for her, even if only a little bit.
Right?
“Because I’m a bigger idiot than you.”
Well, that wasn’t terribly flattering.
“Get the door for me, will you?” he asked.
She reached down to turn the knob and, once they were through, pulled it behind them. His porch light was like a beacon in the storm and she snuggled her face into the front of his jacket, trying to warm her nose.
“Are you nuzzling me?”
“No, my nose is cold. I’m trying to rub the feeling back.”
“Well, try not to get snot on my jacket.”
Allie stopped and sniffed. She couldn’t tell if her nose was running or not, but why take the chance?
On second thought, after what a jerk he’d been, a little snot was the least he deserved.
Finally, when they were both inside his house, the warm air hit her face and she sighed in pure bliss as her numb skin started to tingle.
“I’m going to set you on the couch and get you something warm to drink. Do you want coffee or whisky?”
“I better stick with the coffee,” she said. “Whisky and I don’t make the best of friends.”
Dex grinned as he gazed down at her, the familiarity in his gaze making her heart ache. “I happen to remember you and whisky rather fondly.”
No, she couldn’t do this. She couldn’t let his teasing or his sexy smile break down her resolve. She couldn’t get hurt again.
The thought startled her. The last few weeks she’d been angry, with herself and with Dex, but she hadn’t really thought about the fact that she had been hurt by him, too. Because despite some of his less-than-stellar moments, she’d actually started to like Dex. He made her laugh, even when she didn’t want to, and he had moments of caring that showed a sweet side of him.
Of course, he didn’t have a single characteristic on her list. Okay, maybe one or two, but the point was that no matter what she’d started to feel for Dex, he’d squashed it. She was over it, and the first thing she could do to prove that was to let go of her anger.
With a bit of a sad smile, she said, “After everything that’s happened, I think we better not dwell too much on that.”
He was silent, making his way around the kitchen. She could hear Kermit whining from somewhere. “Hey, where’s my dog?”
“Locked in his old crate with a blanket. He’s warm at least, which is more than I can say for you.”
Considering how her skin stung as the feeling came back into her fingers and face, she hoped so.
“Why do you always have your dog locked up when I come over?”
“Because sometimes you stop by during her dinnertime.”
“Your dog has a set dinnertime?” she asked.
“No, I just usually lock her up with a bone while I have dinner, and then I let her out when we go to bed.”
Allie turned to see him in the kitchen, her eyebrows raised. “We?”
“Yes, we. You are not the only one who loves your dog. Bluebell usually takes the left side of the bed and shoves me all the way to the right by the time the alarm clock goes off.”
Allie laughed at the image of the big bloodhound kicking her master out of bed. Dex gave her a boyish smile in return. The one that set off a hundred fluttering wings in her abdomen.
“Do you want milk and sugar?” he asked.
She told herself to stop thinking about him in that way. Maybe they could move past everything and be friends. “Yes, please, both.”
He brought her over a steaming mug. “Scoot closer to the fire if you need to.”
“Thanks.” She took the mug, the ceramic scalding her skin. Setting it down on the side table to cool, she stared into the burning fire, more than aware when Dex sat next to her. Allie watched him drink his coffee out of the corner of her eye, his full lips on the brim, the sexy Adam’s apple bobbing in his throat when he swallowed. She worked up the nerve to say something … well, nice.
“Thank you for coming back for me. I know I didn’t give you a reason to with the way I behaved.”
“It’s fine. I’m sorry for what I said.” He drummed his fingers on the mug and then added, “Besides, I couldn’t let you suffer out there. It would have gone against my code.”
Fighting the blankets surrounding her, she tucked her feet up on the couch and turned to face him. “You have a code? I never would have thought.”
“Why?” he asked. “Because I made out with my best friend’s girl?”
The words instantaneously killed the ease she was just starting to feel with him.
“I didn’t mean it like that.”
“I know, but I did. I should never have touched you.”
“I wasn’t Hunter’s girl, though.” He stiffened next to her and her cheeks finally warmed as she realized how that had sounded. “I just mean … we had only been out a few times and we weren’t exclusive.”
He actually turned on the couch to face her, pulling her gaze to his with those intense green eyes. “And now?”
“We’re just friends.” Clearing her throat, she asked, “Why are you asking? It’s not like you’re interested. You said I was just casual, right?”
“About that—” he started to say, but she couldn’t bear to hear his excuses.
“No, you don’t need to apologize again. Not after all this time. I get it. You’re one of those guys who has to tap every woman he comes in contact with.”
“Not every woman. In fact, I haven’t tapped anyone, as you say, since you showed up.”
Allie’s gut clenched. “What the hell are you doing?”
“Being honest?” he said.
How dare he?
Flinging off the blankets, she stood up angrily. “Whatever game you’re playing with me, it’s not funny or fair. I appreciate you letting me stay here and helping me out tonight, but you were more than clear about what your endgame was with me. And I’m not interested in that. Backpedaling or acting like there’s something more going on here because you’re horny isn’t going to work.”
“Hear me out, because I swear I’m not backpedaling right now.” He grabbed her hand and looked her square in the eye. “I never would have said what I did if I’d known you were there. Hunter had caught me off guard and I was just running my mouth to get him off my back about lying to him. Besides, you weren’t.”
“I wasn’t what?” she asked.
“Casual. I didn’t kiss you because you were just there. I did it because I wanted to.” His voice lowered. “I wanted you. I still do.”
Her heart thumped loudly in her chest. What the hell did she say to that? While the part of her that was still hurt and angry wanted to get up and walk away, she couldn’t deny that the words I still want you, too sat poised on the tip of her tongue.
But he’d had a chance to step in and be with her, and he’d blown it.
“I can’t.” She headed for the hallway, abandoning her coffee and her desires in his living room as she escaped.
“Allie?” he called.
She paused, waiting for him to ask her not to go. To stay up, talk to him, and figure this whole mess out.
“Second door on the left.”
Dex sat on his couch, shooting back another whisky as he stared into the fire.
What the hell had he expected her to say? That she wanted him, too, despite everything? And when had he decided to go all true confessions on her, anyway?
Truth was, he’d caught himself making his way to her place several times over the last few weeks. He wasn’t sure what he would have said when he got there, because he never made it to her door. One thing was for sure, though: Allie Fairchild hadn’t been far from his thoughts.
Which should have been enough to make him stay the hell away from her, except … he didn’t want to. For the first time, he didn’t think of being with a woman as something to avoid. Allie made him want to be better than a jerk who seduced a girl behind his best friend’s back. She was different.
But how the hell could he convey all that to her when he could barely process what it all meant to him? He knew that he wanted her and had feelings for her, but what did that mean? And was it enough to make him keep trying to earn her forgiveness, or would it just end up leaving them both disappointed?
And it didn’t just involve him and Allie. Hunter had just started to forgive him, and despite Allie’s assurance that she wasn’t Hunter’s girl, how would Hunter feel if Dex admitted he had real feelings for Allie? That she actually got him thinking about all the things that used to send him running?
Dex set his glass down with a groan, massaging his aching forehead with his fingers. God, why was this shit so complicated?