I opened my front door and smiled as Faye came into view.

“Hey!” she said cheerfully. “Ready for girls’ night?”

“As I’ll ever be,” I replied, letting her in.

When Faye had called me that afternoon and asked to hang out, I was ecstatic. It was just the thing I needed to help take my mind off the events of the night before—when Liam almost punched on with Viper—and let loose a little. Alcohol, movies, and girl talk. I’d never been part of a friendship group before, and even though it was just the two of us, it felt amazing to have someone who actually wanted to spend time with me.

I closed the door behind her as she looked around my little home, taking in the sights, which weren’t many. My apartment consisted of a separate little kitchenette, a tiny bathroom, a small bedroom—only large enough for my bed, a little side table, and a built-in robe—and the living area, which wasn’t much bigger.

“Nice place, A,” Faye said after a moment.

“It’s a shoebox,” I said with a groan. “A two hundred and seventy dollar a week coffin.”

“It’s a great area, though. Close to the city, the water, great pubs…”

“I moved here so I could be closer to my fantastic new job and not have to train back and forth across the city every day. Turned out it was a money pit and my job…” I widened my eyes and sighed, sinking down onto the couch.

She offered me a reassuring smile, the space feeling even more confined now there were two of us in it. It had gone from cozy to cramped in T-minus three seconds.

“C’mon, look at the positives!”

“I suppose you’re right,” I said. “I just wish I made a little more money. Being single sucks, especially when you hear the prices on things are based on twin share.”

“I know, right?” Faye laughed and flicked her hair. “Listen, I know you like cider, so I brought us over a couple.” She set the bag she was carrying onto my little coffee table, the bottles clinking inside.

“Thanks,” I said, fishing out one. “I could really use one of these right now.”

Faye flopped down on the couch. “How’s the job hunting going?”

“I could wallpaper my entire apartment with the rejection letters,” I said with a sigh, offering her a drink.

“That good, huh?”

“Maybe I should sue my old boss for damages after all.”

“Mightn’t be such a bad idea, you know. He was a pig, asking you what he did. Makes you wonder if he did it to anyone else and got away with it.”

I thought about Susan for some unknown reason and contemplated Matt propositioning her. It would explain a great deal, which was pretty awful of me to assume, but she got away with a lot of bitchiness in that place. Maybe she did suck him off to have an easier time at work. I shivered, shoving away the revolting image of her on her knees.

“Have you got anyone to help you?” Faye asked. “Family?”

I shook my head. “I don’t have any.”

Faye hesitated, her brow creasing. “You don’t have any family?”

I sighed, not really wanting to get into it, but she was my friend, right? I’d ever really sat down and told anyone about my parents and what happened to them. Honestly, no one had ever asked.

“My parents died with I was fifteen,” I explained. “Car accident. A truck veered into their lane on the highway and hit them head on. They died on impact. The cops said the truck driver had been driving over twenty-four hours straight and was off his face on drugs to stay awake. He hit them, they died, and he went to prison.”

“Holy shit. Ali… I’m so sorry.”

“Thirteen years this August,” I said. Faye reached out to pull me into a hug, but I shrugged away. “It was a long time ago. I’ve learned to cope on my own.”

“You don’t have any other family? No brothers or sisters?”

“Nope. I was an only child, and we never really spoke to the extended family, so it was like I never existed to them. Mum and Dad said they were all batshit crazy, so they cut them off not long after they got married.”

“So… You really were alone when you came to The Underground?”

“I guess so. I was just tired of floating. Being pushed down. Walked over.” I shrugged. “I wanted something else.”

The whole tone of our girls’ night had soured with talk about my parents. We didn’t speak for a few minutes, and I began to feel awkward. I didn’t like to talk about my past for this very reason. It made other people uncomfortable, not me.

“I think you should look into suing for sexual harassment,” Faye declared. “You can’t let that jerk get away with it.”

“He’s probably lost his job by now, anyway,” I said, thankful for the topic change. “I opened the door, and he still had his filthy little worm hanging out. Half the office saw.”

Faye snorted, laughing. “Oh, my God! Epic! You should still rake those morons across the coals. Workplace bullying, sexual harassment, years of unpaid overtime… I’m sure you would be able to get a big wad of cash off them.”

“I’ll look into it,” I said after a moment. “I hate confrontation, so…”

“Speaking about confrontation,” Faye began, turning to face me.

She was giving me a look that said spill, and I just knew she was all over what had happened with Liam and me last night. Word spread fast in that warehouse, just like it did around a certain water cooler.

“I was just talking to a guy,” I said with a groan. “Just talking. He was being nice, bought me a drink. Then five seconds later, Liam comes up and pisses all over it. No one’s ever come up to me like that before, let alone a guy. It felt good, you know? It didn’t mean I was going to let it go further than that.”

“There are different rules at The Underground,” Faye said. “Guys there expect they’re going to get laid no matter what. It’s bullshit. Who were you talking to?”

“A fighter,” I replied absently.

“Named?”

“Viper.”

Her mouth dropped open, and she started shaking her head, her blonde hair swishing back and forth. “Nooooooo!” she cried.

I made a face.

“Viper is a complete asshole, Ali,” she explained. “If he’s talking to you, then he’s got an ulterior motive. There’s a reason he’s named after a snake.”

I scowled, not liking what she was getting at. Was he bad news like Liam claimed? I hoped not because it meant I’d been duped, and no one wanted to talk to me at all. It stunk.

“Listen,” she went on. “Viper’s got a bad reputation. Fights dirty, treats women like shit, and will do whatever it takes to get what he wants.”

“And what does he want?”

“The Championship at all costs. Liam is in his way, and I would say he’s been watching you two hanging out and seen an opportunity. Remember when Liam chased off that guy who was talking to you during one of his fights?”

How could I forget? He’d stormed right out of the cage post-fight, dripping sweat and blood everywhere, and sent the guy running for his life with the force of a single death stare.

“Viper pegged a weakness.”

“You’re saying I’m Liam’s weakness?” I snorted. “Unlikely.”

“You need to stay far, far away from him, Ali. It could get nasty.”

“You sound exactly like Liam,” I exclaimed.

“He was right, you know.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes. I didn’t want to listen even though I knew she might be right. I had no reason to doubt Faye. She’d done nothing to make me think otherwise, even though we hadn’t known each other long.

“The way you two act around one another, I would swear you had something going,” I said. “I thought you were together when I first met you. Now you’re plotting against me behind my back.”

“Well…” She hesitated, putting down her drink. Her cheeks flushed, and she glanced away. “We do hang out sometimes, but it’s just sex.”

“You do?” I stared at her like she’d just punched me in the stomach. Even with my makeover, she still outshone me, and I began to feel really small…like the mouse Liam had likened me to. Of course, he would turn to her for satisfaction. They looked perfect together. I should’ve seen it. I did see it.

Shit, and the stuff I’d told her! Only last week I’d confided I was struggling with him, and she was dropping this on me now? Jealousy twisted my heart, and I struggled to contain it. It was such an ugly emotion.

“I put a stop to it,” Faye said quickly, reading the changing emotions that were writhing all over my face.

“When?” I hardly dared to ask.

“A few days ago as soon as I realized you were into him.”

A few days ago? He’d been with her after we’d spent the night together? A wave of nausea hit me square in the chest.

I sat up straight, my jaw tensing. “Maybe I’m overreacting…but…”

“It was nothing,” Faye said. “We’ve been hanging out for months. It’s never been serious.”

“You knew I was struggling with him,” I went on. “I confided in you, and you were still…”

I felt sick. Was I making too much out of this? I didn’t know. Liam and I had never been together, and I wasn’t a fool enough to think he hadn’t slept with anyone else, but knowing Faye had been with him before and after I had stung. Was there such a thing as girl code? Or was it only a starry-eyed notion dreamed up as a plot device in the movies?

“I didn’t know it was serious between you,” Faye said fretfully. “Ali, please!”

I shook my head. “He slept with me and left right after. He knew I…he had to know. He broke my heart and didn’t give a shit. He made it clear it was only a one-time thing, and I…” I covered my face with my hands as tears started to spill down my cheeks. “I’m such an idiot. I should never have gone to The Underground.”

“He slept with you?” Faye gasped. “I warned him. I warned him to stop fooling around with me if there was something else going on. I warned him, and he didn’t listen.”

“Then maybe you should’ve said no!” I exclaimed.

“I didn’t know you had feelings for him,” she cried. “I thought it was all him. Liam and I were never serious, Ali. It was only ever casual.”

“Call me old-fashioned, but I don’t believe in casual.” I shook my head. “I tried, but I couldn’t hack it.”

“No, it’s not,” Faye said, agreeing with me. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”

“Please leave,” I muttered, fighting back tears. My throat burned, and my fingers were turning numb. All I wanted to do was curl up and cry. Everything was so messed up, and I couldn’t see a way out. I was floundering before, but now I was drowning.

“Ali…”

“Please leave.”

Faye rose to her feet and edged around the couch. I couldn’t even look at her. It was no one’s fault, but it didn’t stop it from hurting. Liam was clear, Faye was clear…I was the one who’d been keeping my feelings bottled up. I thought I’d been doing the right thing.

The door opened and closed, signaling Faye had gone, and stillness enveloped the little space that was my apartment. It felt a great deal like square one, and I curled up on the couch, struggling to hold back a wave of sobs that were caught in my throat.

What was wrong with me? There had to be something I was doing wrong or something I was oblivious to. What was so wrong with me that I was being used over and over?

Maybe this was it. I wasn’t meant to find someone, my ‘other half.’ Maybe I was whole to begin with, and my longing was futile and pointless. Maybe I just had to come to terms with the fact that this was my life. No family, no friends, no hope, nothing.

The first tear fell, and after that, I was lost.