I crawled into the limousine, Bee and Harlow stood next to Damon, shouting their goodbyes as Sophie followed me in. Adjusting my skirt so I wasn’t strangling myself in the seat, I got comfy and waited for Stella, Leo, Everly, Piper, and Vivian to take their seats, one crawling in right after the other.

The chauffeur pulled out and down a block to Ariel’s house. We quickly passed out beads, tiaras, and champagne glasses before the door opened and our bride-to-be crawled in.

“Welcome to a night to remember.” Stella handed a glass to Ariel.

We all raised them, cheered, and then we were off.

“Want some more?” Stella held out a bottle of champagne to me.

“Sure, why not?” I had agreed to let Christine watch Bee tonight. They weren’t going anywhere. They were safe, and this would be my last time since Tristan came home on Monday.

Riding in a stretch limousine down Orange Blossom Trail accrued a lot of attention so we turned honking into a drinking game.

After the first few horn blows accompanied by Stella shouting horn blows, how ‘bout the driver we turned the experience into something more beneficial. A drinking game. Hear a honk, we all took a sip. By the time we arrived, we had each finished off our own bottle of champagne and Stella was now liberally pouring vodka.

When we pulled into the parking lot, lights lit up the back of the car and I felt like a kid as I tucked my legs under me to peer out the window. The building looked as if it had been picked up right off the Vegas strip and dropped in the middle of Orlando’s red-light district. The Crystal Chandelier, with its neon lights and blinking sign, called to passersby.

“Oh my God, umm, exactly how did you find this place?” I turned to Stella.

“A friend at work had a party here. During the day they teach classes but at night it can be rented out for parties.”

The door of the car opened, and we climbed out and headed for the building. A tiny woman wearing Mary Jane platforms and a Farrah Fawcett feathered style wig held the door open. “I’m Chanda; welcome to my lair.”

She held her hands out, and I waited for the moment she’d say, “Ta-da.” But it didn’t happen. Whispering to whoever was next to me, “Chanda’s lair? Did I hear that right?” I turned to see Vivian nodding. Her eyes were as wide as mine.

“It’s about time you bitches got here.”

“Ringo!” We all shouted and pushed through the door to greet him. Tonight he was wearing tight jeans and a T-shirt that read: Up Yours (or mine). Oh, to be a fly on the wall or at least a moth in his T-shirt drawer, I bet he had some hysterical ones.

“Are you going to pole dance with us?” Ariel asked.

“No. I already have one pole between my legs, thank you very much. If I’m going to have a second, it better be attached to a gorgeous specimen of a man.” He looked around as if searching for that gorgeous specimen. “So no, I’m just here to add commentary. And what would a party be without me?”

“Word.” I held up my hand.

“Okay, now ladies, are you all ready? Why don’t you each take off your shoes and choose a pole.”

I slid my skirt off since I had spandex shorts on underneath and tossed it into the corner with my shoes.

“What I wouldn’t pay to hear a boat of seamen say that.” Ringo shimmied his shoulders as he followed us over to the mats.

Chanda waved a hand in the air. “First thing, I just want you to hold on to the pole and walk around on your tippy toes. Shake your butt like you’re Jessica Rabbit.”

“No, Ringo,” I cut him off before he could comment. I could just imagine where his warped mind would take him as we sashayed about.

“Oww, work it girls. Shake what the good Lord gave you and what medical advancements thanks to the perfection of the Kardashians can give me. Ow.” Ringo clapped his hands like a proud papa.

“Let’s start with the basic climb. You’re going to use the front of your foot.” Chanda climbed up her pole and demonstrated.

Stella had yet to walk around it, she was still humping it, pretending that she was in a rock video. She stopped to get Everly’s attention. “Just think, you can practice this at the station. It’s a whole new way to use the fireman’s pole.”

Chanda hit play on the stereo and blared “Chunky” by Bruno Mars.

I held on to the pole and attempted to climb, using the inside of my foot like she’d instructed, but I didn’t move. I used the arch and still didn’t move. Hell, I was prepared to use the crack of my butt cheeks if it meant that I could climb up the damn pole at this point.

I looked back to Stella, expecting her to still be cracking jokes about firemen, but fuck it all to hell, she was at the top shouting, “Ring My Bell,” only doing it to match the rhythm of the song by Anita Ward.

“Now, ladies, I’m going to teach you my favorite move. It’s called the Chopper.” Chanda made the name sound more like a meow.

For fifteen minutes, we held, swung, and fucking Stella suspended herself upside down, legs spread in a V against the bar, in what Chanda declared a perfectly executed Chopper move.

Ringo held up his hand to the side of his mouth to pretend he was whispering. “Why am I not shocked that Stella can climb a pole or spread her legs?”

I wanted to laugh, but instead I needed to shout, “Oh my God, I finally got it.” I was hanging upside down for dear life and trying to get everyone to see.

I had just flipped back and slid to the mat when a buzzer sounded and Chanda turned off the music. “I’ll be right back, ladies. Relax. I have some water and snacks set out on the table for you, just help yourselves.” She pointed to a corner then headed to the front lobby.

I had just popped a strawberry in my mouth when a uniformed deputy came in and I panicked.

“Stripper is here,” Stella shouted.

“Now we’re talking.” Ringo licked his lips.

“Excuse me, ma’am.” The deputy who looked as if he was just out of high school said.

Stella shoved Ariel into a chair while Leo and Ringo turned up the music.

I decided to enjoy the show from the sidelines and munch on strawberries.

“Ma’am,” the officer said, a bit louder.

“Baby, that isn’t what I want you to do with your mouth. Now quit talking and start stripping.” Stella snapped her fingers ordering the poor man about. She reached into her sports bra and pulled out some singles and tossed them at the officer’s feet. “Strip.”

“Ma’am, we had a call of a disturbance here.”

“You’re disturbing me because you’re not stripping.” Ringo was as loud and demanding as Stella.

“I’m not a stripper.” The officer held up his hands. “We had a call come into the station.”

“Wow, he’s good. How far do you think he’ll take this?” I asked to Piper as she came out of the restroom.

Piper froze, then raced to the front.

I spat a half-eaten strawberry out, dropped my cup of water, and headed for the bathroom as I saw everything unfurl.

“Stop. He’s a real deputy,” Piper hollered.

“Deputy Dupont, can you please assist?” the young deputy asked.

Sophie and Leo were whistling and making catcalls while Stella kept hollering for the man to take it off. Then Vivian cut the music, I pushed the bathroom door open and headed for the window. There was no way in hell I was getting arrested because of Stella’s antics.

They were going to get arrested for propositioning an officer. Stella offered him money to strip. Holy shit. This was not good, this was so not good. I needed to get out of here. I could call Carter and Kayson. Yeah, that was what I’d do. I wasn’t only thinking of Bee and myself, I was thinking of the greater good, right?

Knocking the garbage can over, I climbed on top so I could unlock the window and prop it open. I jumped, sliding over the scratchy windowsill headfirst and into a ruckus of noise. I hit the ground and was encased in two arms.

“Where you going?”

I looked up ready to fight and met the deep chocolate eyes of Damon.

“What the fuck? Get me out of here. The cops are here. I’ve got to go. I can’t get arrested; they’ll take Bee.” I was hysterical when he gently tugged my hand and pulled me away from the window and into his arms.

“Shhh psichi mou, shhh. I’m so sorry. I didn’t think. Kayson and Carter were just playing a trick on the girls. Shhh. It’s a joke. No one’s getting arrested.” He combed his fingers through my hair as he crooned the words.

Slowly lifting my head, fingertips pressed into his chest, I pushed away. “Joke? That was a motherfucking joke?”

“Yes?” Damon was suddenly rethinking his words.

“Oh, hell no.” My fear turned from a rage into a hysterical laughter. Holy hell, I wanted to be out there to watch this, so I grabbed his hand and ran toward the front of the building. When we rounded the corner, Kayson, Carter, and Ian were standing there, arms crossed. They looked a little too smug for my liking, but I had already learned to put my confidence in Stella and her ability to lead the gang.

“You all do know that you’re dead, right?” I asked for clarification.

They nodded.

“It’ll be worth it.” Carter gave me a flippant salute.

I watched as the front door swung open and Stella walked out, black lycra shorts, sports bra, and sandals. She flipped off Kayson and Carter then gave an evil smile and leaned against the limo. Next, Everly came out, similarly dressed but she’d slipped her T-shirt back on and she was carrying one Orange County Sheriff’s uniform shirt.

“Oh,” Kayson said quietly.

Leo and Vivian exited, and they each carried a shiny black shoe. Taking their places next to Stella and Everly, they turned and leaned back against the limo and waited.

“Shit,” Carter mumbled.

Piper strolled out next, and she was carrying one utility belt minus his firearm.

“You think he’s still alive?” Kayson whispered.

Sophie was next, and she carried one pair of uniform pants.

I looked over at Carter, who was holding his lips closed with such force that his lips were nearly white. Sophie smiled and raised one eyebrow in a challenge.

“Hmm, I wonder how your wife got that poor man’s pants.” I left that thought to rest in the air but heard Carter’s growl and laughed.

My mind whirled as we waited for Ariel, Ringo, Chanda, and the poor deputy. We waited and waited and waited.

Kayson, Damon, and Carter started for the door.

“Don’t you want to go with them?” I looked over to Ian.

Ian waved me off. “No thanks.”

Well, I’d missed what the girls had done, so I wanted to see. Chasing behind them, I wasn’t going to miss anything else. I felt an arm on my shoulder, holding me back a few steps. Coming through the lobby doorway that opened up to the studio area Kayson, Carter, and Damon pushed through side by side.

The lights went out. The area fell pitch black except for a trace beam of moonlight trickling in. That was when I saw it, two lines stretched across the doorway.

The sound of ripping material echoed, followed by one of the guys—Kayson I believed—hollering, “What the fuck?”

Then someone raced behind them holding two circles, and more ripping sounds echoed, followed by someone else running behind the guys. They were wiggling but were caught in something and couldn’t get out.

The lights came on, and I cracked up.

The three men were wrapped several times in duct tape.

“Silence is golden, but duct tape is silver.” Ariel held a roll of duct tape in each hand.

Chanda stood holding two more, then ran over and hit the stereo and played “Dear Future Husband” by Meghan Trainor.

Unfortunately, the guys were blocking the entryway so I couldn’t see what was going on, but whatever it was, it was good because a collective groan escaped all three men.

Stella reached over me with her cell phone raised high up and on record. I scooted back so I could try to see via her screen.

The ladies bathroom was open, and standing in the doorway was one blonde-headed, mocha-skin diva wearing a bustier and heels.

“Silly boys.” Ringo strutted back and forth in front of them. “Didn’t you know that tricks were for kids?”

I heard gasps escape Damon, Carter, and Kayson and my comfort at the feel of revenge was slowly getting all warm and fuzzy. These women were an absolute force.

“You may think what I’m wearing is called a boost-e-ay, but I prefer to call it a busted-ay. That’s right—you boys are so busted.” Ringo had his chance and he was sashaying in front of the guys. “What’s that saying, you’re only as gay as the dick you suck.”

I wasn’t sure if I had laughed, coughed, spit, or peed, but whatever it was, I did it. Sophie was crumpled over, holding her stomach, and Stella was cackling.

I couldn’t understand what the guys were saying because all three were shouting profanities at the same time.

“Oh, chill, I’m just teasing.” Ringo gave them a wink. “But maybe next time you three will think again before you try to pull something over on these crazy ass bitches.”

“Can I ask something?” Kayson’s voice boomed above our laughs. “Where is Deputy Holland?”

“Oh, he’s in the bathroom. I still need to go in there and scare the shit out of him.” Ringo wiped his thumb at the corner of his mouth.

“You mean having these girls strip him of his clothes wasn’t scary enough?” Damon tried to twist to look back at us, but the tape prevented him.

“Well, we’re gonna leave you boys be. Have fun. Chanda, make sure you get them to pay our bill and add a really great tip.” Stella patted Carter’s shoulder. “Bye, Ringo, we’ll leave these guys in your capable hands.”

“I’ll meet y’all out front. I’m coming out the back entrance,” Ariel shouted. She ran up and gave Kayson a quick peck. “Bye. Be good.”

I smacked Damon’s ass and leaned forward. “Whatever you do, don’t drop anything, and if you do, for God’s sake don’t pick it up.” I watched as he clenched his butt cheeks and couldn’t help but laugh.

The girls piled the deputy’s clothes on the floors, and we raced out and back into the limousine.