Chapter 15

Ella rolled over and opened her eyes. Bright sunlight streamed through her bedroom window. Glancing over, she checked the alarm clock on her nightstand. Eleven o’clock? Not possible. She’d fallen asleep, like, ten minutes ago, or at least it felt that way. She’d spent much of the night tossing and turning, her mind busy processing things, unwilling to turn off for the night. She suspected she could stay in bed and sleep for another three or four hours easily. Unfortunately, more sleep wasn’t an option. Not if she wanted to be ready when Striker got here.

Turning onto her side, she snuggled deeper under the covers. She’d give herself another fifteen minutes then she’d get up. She showered fast. Fifteen minutes wouldn’t make much of a difference.

Quickly, the thoughts that had kept her awake the night before flowed in. He’d wanted to stay last night. Had expected an invitation from her. She’d seen his disappointment when she didn’t ask him to stay. And she’d understood. Friday night, she’d crossed the line she’d promised herself she wouldn’t and made love to him. Not that she regretted it, because she didn’t. Well, not really. She loved him. Despite his actions back in the spring, her feelings hadn’t changed. And he’d both told her and shown over the past couple weeks how much he loved her. How did she repay him though? By lying to him. Not exactly the best way to repair and grow a relationship.

All night she’d wrestled with whether or not to tell him the truth. It’d be so simple to say she’d made up her mind and decided to turn down the position in Paris and stay here. He never needed to know she’d turned down the opportunity almost as soon as it arrived. As the old saying went, “What you don’t know won’t hurt you.” In this case, the saying fit perfectly.

Unfortunately, she’d know. Once she reminded herself of that fact, she thought about all the times Striker could’ve lied but hadn’t. Honesty in a relationship went both ways. If he later learned she’d lied to him, he might wonder what other lies she’d told him. She was better off telling him the truth now. Wasn’t she?

“How mad can he get?” she asked the lamp on her nightstand. “It was only a little white lie. People tell them all the time.” Ella rolled her eyes. It’d been more than a false statement. It’d been a test. She’d manipulated him because she wanted to see his reaction. Striker wasn’t an idiot. He’d figure out why she’d done it. Then he’d be super pissed. No one liked being manipulated. But would he be angry enough to walk away again? She wanted to believe the answer was no. He loved her. How many times had he told her? How many ways had he shown her?

“It’ll be okay.” Ella pushed the blankets off. Rather than stay in bed and second-guess her decision, she’d get ready. “He’ll understand.” She hoped anyway.

***

“You sure you’re up for this?” Striker took his bike out of his truck bed and set it down on the street. “We can go back to your house and relax. And we can skip going to Mack’s tonight.” Rather than take Ella’s bike out, too, he waited.

Ella yawned again before she answered. “I’m fine. Just had a rough night’s sleep. And it’s a great day for this. Pretty soon it’ll be too cold for bike rides.”

The night before, they’d considered going for a hike up Mount Wachusett, or even driving up to New Hampshire and hiking up there. In the end, they decided to skip a hike and ride along the bike trail, which started near the Stonefield Dam in North Salem and ended in Marblehead. Since they had to park on the street because the lot was full, they weren’t the only ones who’d decided to enjoy the warm September afternoon.

“Do you want to take lunch with us, or eat when we come back?” She’d packed them sandwiches, potato chips, and fruit. On their way over they’d stopped at Peggy Sue’s Bakery for dessert, some oversized double chocolate chip cookies, and added them to her backpack.

Accepting her answer, Striker pulled her bike down and stood it near his. “There’s no good place to eat at the other end. Let’s leave it here, and we can eat in the park when we come back.”

After rebuilding the Stonefield Dam, the town had converted some of the land adjacent to it into a park complete with picnic tables, benches, and a small playground. People regularly enjoyed the area after either biking or walking the trail. Sometimes they brought along picnics and other times they just lay out in the sun.

“Sounds good to me.” She handed him a water bottle before attaching one to her bike. “Do you want to take the lead?”

Although wide enough for two bikes to ride side by side, doing so made it difficult for people walking or running to get around riders. And if the parking lot was any indication, there were a lot of people on the trail today.

Striker swung a leg over his bike and sat, ready to get going. “Better view from behind,” he said with a wink. “I’ll follow you.”

Some comments didn’t deserve a response. She considered this one. “Try to keep up.” She pushed off, going through the parking lot and then between the two granite posts marking the start of the trail in North Salem. Two similar posts parked the end of the trail in Marblehead.

They rode in silence for a while, the only sounds coming from the nature around them. She didn’t mind. She loved the peace one could only find when surrounded by nature. The silence also gave her more time to think. She planned on coming clean today, yet hadn’t decided the best way to tell him.

“Tonight’s game isn’t until eight. Are you sure you’re going to be up for it?” Striker asked when they passed the first mile marker.

Before leaving the reception, Mack had invited them over to watch the football game with him and Jessie, something they’d all done together numerous times in the past.

“I’ll be fine. Just might need some espresso this afternoon.” She wasn’t worried about whether or not she could stay awake until then. Nope, whether Striker would still be talking to her after this afternoon’s conversation concerned her. As soon as they finished their ride she planned on telling him she’d lied.

Striker rode up alongside her. “I heard Jessie invite Kelsey. Is she coming?”

“Nope. She’s working.” She’d tried calling Kelsey earlier while she waited for Striker. Ella was dying to know what Drew and she had talked about last night. When they’d come back from their dances, Kelsey hadn’t shared anything except to say Drew was giving her a ride home. And she hadn’t looked thrilled with the idea, but rather trapped. Even if she hadn’t left shortly afterward, Kelsey wouldn’t have said anything with Mack, Striker, and Tony sitting there. None of them knew how Kelsey had once felt about Drew and probably still did. Or how much she’d wanted to avoid him. She’d hoped for all the details this morning instead, but her call went unanswered. With Kelsey working much of the day, Ella didn’t expect a call back until tomorrow.

“Again? Damn. When does she sleep?” Striker moved behind her again as a family of three came toward them. “Does she do anything but work?”

She wondered the same thing. In the past, she’d tried to give Kelsey her opinion without making it sound like a lecture. She knew Cat and Jessie had, too. So far Kelsey ignored them all. But it might be time to have a more serious discussion with her. If even Striker noticed how much Kelsey worked, there was a definite problem. And the last thing Ella wanted was for Kelsey to work herself into an early grave.

“Not really.” Ella went around a turtle making its way across the trail, a common occurrence. “Do you want to take the lead for the next mile?”

“Nah. I’m lovin’ the view from back here too much.”

Ella’s laugh was the only response he got as he followed her around the slow- moving turtle. Up ahead, another couple came around a small bend in the trail and rode toward them. He waited until they passed before he spoke. “How ’bout we turn around when we reach the halfway point and head back?”

The entire trail stretched for about ten miles, starting in North Salem near the old train tracks. It then went into Salem and along part of Salem Harbor before ending in Marblehead. They’d ridden along the entire thing and then back the previous fall, so he had a decent idea how long it’d take them to finish. Considering what he planned on doing when they got back, though, he wasn’t sure he could wait that long.

“Getting tired already? We need to work on your endurance.” She slowed going around the bend and then stopped. “If you want to turn around we can. Up to you.”

Striker stopped alongside her, half tempted to take the ring out and ask her now. Put himself out of his misery so he could enjoy the day. Instead he put his hand under her ponytail and leaned in as if to kiss her. “The sooner we get back and eat, the sooner you can help me work on my endurance.” He prevented her from answering by covering her lips with his.

Slowly, he moved his mouth over hers until she parted her lips and then he dipped his tongue inside. Behind his fly, his body ached. He’d wanted her since he climbed into bed last night. Not even the ice-cold shower he’d taken this morning had helped. He had no problem having sex outside. He’d done it before. And if he knew for certain no one would pass by, he’d strip them both naked and make love to her right here. Considering how many people they’d passed already, he expected others would come through. So instead he made love to her mouth, channeling the pent-up desire and love vibrating through his body into a kiss with the promise that more would follow soon.

When he pulled away, Ella smiled at him, her breathing a little uneven—much like his. “I’m not sure I feel like going to the gym today. But you can go without me and get some swimming in. Or maybe try a spin class, I hear both are great for building up your endurance.”

He heard voices headed their way, but so far he didn’t see anyone. “Trust me… I know something even better,” he whispered in her ear. “And it’s a hell of a lot more fun than swimming.”

Ella swept her eyes across him. Her gaze lingered at his fly. There was no way she could miss his erection. “But are you sure you’re up for it?”

He waited until the group of joggers passed by them before he grabbed her hand. “What do you think?” Striker placed her hand over his fly.

She glanced both ways before she slowly slid her hand down the front of him, and he realized what dumb move he’d made as his body tightened painfully.

“I think you’re good to go.” Ella kissed his chin before getting back on her bike. “Let’s go up to the mile-five marker and then turn around. I can hear those cookies calling my name from here. You take the lead this time. Let me enjoy the view.” She swatted his ass and waited for him to get moving.

Ella followed him along the slightly steeper part of the trail and over the town line. Except for an older couple walking together and holding hands, they had the trail to themselves for the next couple miles, with only the occasional chipmunk darting across the asphalt. When they reached the halfway point, they turned their bikes around and started back. He gave her the lead again, afraid he’d take off in a dead sprint if he went in front, leaving them both out of breath when they reached the end.

Striker slowed his pedal strokes again. Was Ella moving slower the closer they got to the end? Or was he imagining things? They passed another mile marker and a cool breeze rustled the leaves and sent those on the ground into the air. Ahead of him, Ella pushed her hair back over her shoulder before reaching for the handlebar again. Her feet stopped moving and she coasted for a few feet slowing their pace down even more. Fuck, now was not the time for a slow, leisurely ride. His stomach already ricocheted around like a ball inside an old pinball machine. If it got much worse he’d puke up the eggs he’d eaten for breakfast, not something he wanted to do right before he proposed.

C’mon, Ella. Move it. He squeezed his handlebars tighter. The longer they rode the heavier the ring in his pocket got. He needed them to reach the park soon, but at this rate they’d get there tomorrow.

“Are you okay?” he asked. She did look tired. She’d said she’d had a rough night’s sleep, but maybe she was coming down with the flu or something.

“Yeah, why?”

Striker moved up so he rode alongside her. “You’re going a lot slower than before. I thought maybe you needed to stop and rest.”

Instantly, Ella picked up her pace. “Sorry. Didn’t realize it. I got distracted. I’ve got a few things on my mind.”

Well, that made two of them.

The lot remained full and several others cars had joined his truck on the street since they parked. As he lifted the bikes back into the truck bed, two families rode their bikes toward the parking lot entrance. One family especially caught his attention. The woman, someone he’d seen around town but couldn’t remember her name, had long blonde hair similar to Ella’s. Behind her rode two kids: a little girl about Grace Ellsbury’s age and a boy a year or so older. The little girl was a miniature version of her mom. They even wore similar outfits: light pink T-shirts and denim shorts. The boy resembled the dad, who rode behind him. They both had on baseball caps and North Salem Little League T-shirts, the only difference being that the word “Coach” was printed on the dad’s sleeve.

Give it a few years and he pictured Ella and him taking their kids on a similar outing. Assuming she said yes. Striker stuck a hand in his pocket and touched the diamond ring. Yep, still there. He’d picked it up Friday morning. He’d planned to give it to her, when his thirty days were up. He’d changed his mind yesterday morning when he’d woken up with Ella asleep next to him.

Ella cared. She wouldn’t have slept with him otherwise. She wasn’t the type to have sex because it felt good or because some good-looking guy hit on her. And she hadn’t slept with anyone while in France. She’d admitted as much. She’d only dated over there. Striker ground his molars together at the thought. Yeah, some smooth-talking guy had taken her for dinner or dancing, but she hadn’t screwed him after. She didn’t do casual sex. Hell, they’d dated for two months before sleeping together the previous November, and they’d known each other most of their lives.

But did she care enough? Before the afternoon ended, he’d find out.

“How’s this spot?” he asked. Rather than search for an empty picnic table, they walked across the park and opted for a grassy spot near the lake. Here they were away from the playground and any other curious eyes. Regardless of Ella’s answer, he didn’t need an audience when he asked the biggest question of his life.

Ella took the old blanket he carried. “Looks good to me.” She tossed aside a few small rocks before spreading the blanket out and sitting, her legs stretched out. “Give me the bag and I’ll unpack it.”

He watched her pull the bakery bag from Peggy Sue’s out first. She opened the bag and inhaled deeply, her eyes closed. “These smell so good. Who needs a turkey sandwich and fruit?”

“We’re supposed to be adults. Adults eat their real food before dessert.” Striker snatched the bag away and put it down behind him.

Ella stuck her tongue out at him and went back to unpacking their lunch. “Being an adult isn’t any fun.” She pouted and set a bowl of fresh cut fruit between them.

It was neither the time nor the place, but he couldn’t resist. Striker slipped his hand under her T-shirt, his fingers closing around her breast. “Not any fun?” He squeezed gently and kissed the exposed skin on her shoulder. “I can show you a lot of ways adults get to have fun.” Kissing her neck again, he dipped his fingers into her bra.

She groaned, her eyelids lowering, and she raked her teeth over her bottom lip. “You’re right.” She looked at him. “I can’t believe I just said that.” She tugged his hand out from under her shirt. “Let’s eat before you get us both in trouble.”

Unlike some people, anxiety increased rather than killed his appetite. So, while Ella picked at her turkey sandwich, he consumed his as well as a fair amount of the fruit and the chips she packed. At the rate she ate, they’d be sitting there when the sun went down.

“I made up my mind.” She wrapped her partially eaten sandwich back up and dug into the bakery bag instead.

About him?

“You’d better take yours now before I eat them both.” She didn’t wait to break a piece off the large dark cookie and pop it into her mouth.

He accepted the bag, but didn’t reach for the cookie inside.

Ella broke off another chunk as she swallowed her mouthful. She held it near her lips but didn’t eat it. “I’m going to take over for Maryann at the dance studio when she leaves in January.”

He mentally pumped his fist in the air. She planned on staying in town. Regardless of her decision, he’d planned to propose. But now he didn’t have a year-long separation to look forward to. One less thing to worry about today.

“You decided to not take the position in France?” Stupid question. No way could she take over as director at Prism and teach in Paris. But he wanted confirmation. Needed to hear her say she wasn’t leaving him.

“I’m not going. I already let the university know.” Ella stuffed the cookie in her mouth and turned her gaze toward the lake.

“You sure that’s what you want?” What the hell? Striker considered kicking his own ass the second the words came out. He shouldn’t say or do anything to make her reconsider her decision. But he remembered her telling him what a great opportunity it was. He’d hate to see her pass on it now and regret not going later.

“Positive.” She tossed her food aside. The half-eaten cookie landed on her sandwich, and she wiped her hands on her shorts rather than go for a napkin. “I love it there, but I don’t want to leave everyone again for so long.”

Did she lump him into that “everyone” category?

“I… I, um….” Ella didn’t finish her sentence. Instead she pressed her lips together, her eyes still locked on the lake.

He studied her profile. Saw the muscles in her neck move as she swallowed. Finally, she turned her whole body and faced him.

“I decided….” She paused again. “When I told you I didn’t know if I wanted to go or not, I actually had already made up my mind.”

He considered her answer. Processed what it meant. “You lied.”

Ella nodded, guilt written all over her face.

His biceps tensed up and he cracked the knuckles on his right hand. “Why?”

She reached for his hand but he jerked it away. “I—”

He knew the why. He didn’t need to hear her say it. “You wanted to see what I’d do. Right?” Heat, and not the good kind, passed through his body. “You manipulated things to see if I’d leave you again? Or to see if I’d try to convince you to stay?”

Regardless of the other mistakes he’d made, he’d always been honest with her. Even when he would’ve preferred to lie or omit details, he forced himself to tell her the truth. Damn it. He’d expected the same from her.

“Maybe. Kinda. I don’t know exactly.” Remorse and sadness filled her voice. Both pulled at him, but not enough to let the matter go.

“Guess I passed your test? Is that why you’re telling me now?” He needed to think before he opened his mouth, but his anger made it impossible.

Ella reached for his fist and moved closer until her leg bumped against his thigh. “I’m telling you because I love you. I loved you when you broke up with me. Loved you while I was in France, and still love you.”

About time she said it. Anger still pulsed through him, but the words at least satisfied his doubts.

“The other night the lie slipped out after you saw the letter. I didn’t sit and plan it. Ever since then it’s bothered me.” Her free hand touched his cheek. “I told you now because I needed you to know the truth.”

“Any other lies you need to get off your chest?”

She stroked his cheek then trailed her finger across his bottom lip. Despite the anger, his stupid dick reacted. The arousal that had started to diminish came back full- strength.

“I didn’t date while we were apart. You’re the only person I’ve gone out with in over a year.”

“Good to know.”

Striker pulled her hand away. He needed some time and space. He loved her. That hadn’t changed. Never would, but he needed to process her confession. Get his anger under control. He couldn’t do either with her touching him. Reaching for her backpack, he stuffed the chips inside and went for the fruit bowl. “Let’s get going.”

“Striker, don’t be mad. Please. It was stupid. I know. I should’ve told you the truth when you asked. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve got both right,” he snapped, regretting it but not enough to apologize. “C’mon. We’re both done eating. Let’s pack up and go.”

Proposing and anything else would have to wait. No matter how much he loved her, he couldn’t ask her to marry him when he wanted to strangle her. He’d find another time.

Should’ve kept my mouth shut. Ella walked alongside Striker. He’d remained silent since packing up the rest of their picnic. Somehow, she needed to get around the wall he’d thrown up. Get back the Striker who’d kissed her on the bike trail and teased her by the lake.

She reached for his hand then jerked her arm back before he noticed. He’d pulled away from her earlier. She couldn’t handle him doing it again. At least until his anger subsided, she’d refrain from touching him. And his anger would go away. Eventually. She hoped.

Countless times she’d seen him angry or upset. Usually at Cat when she did something only a little sister would attempt. He’d never been angry with her. Of course, until today she’d never given him a reason to be. And she hated it. She’d had no other choice. Keeping the truth bottled up had been eating away at her. The longer she waited to tell him, the worse it would’ve been for them both.

I forgave him.

Yeah, but he didn’t lie and try to manipulate you, she reminded herself.

Breaking someone’s heart is just as bad. “Maybe,” she mumbled under her breath as they walked across the parking lot toward the street.

“Mack and Jessie aren’t expecting us until seven.” She hoped this wasn’t the end of their day together. Breaking down the invisible barrier between them would be hard enough. It’d be impossible if he dropped her off at home. “What should we do for the rest of the day?”

“Changed my mind about going tonight.” Striker tossed the blanket and backpack in with the bikes. “You can go over.”

Her lungs constricted, making it hard to breathe. He was angrier than she’d thought. Had she blown it? She’d been so worried about him leaving her again and breaking her heart. Had she pushed him into doing that?

A happy couple crossed the street toward the full parking lot, their arms wrapped around each other. Tears stung her eyes as she watched them share a kiss. “Please, Striker. Don’t do this. I made a mistake.” She moved closer and put her palm over his heart. “I love you.”

He blinked, his eyebrows pinching together. “Don’t do what? Ella—”

Striker never finished.

One minute he stood there, his heart beating under her hand. The next he’d grabbed her shoulders and shoved her. Her butt hit the asphalt and pain shot up her spine. She shot her hands out behind her and managed to keep her head from bouncing off the street. Screeching tires and the smell of rubber filled the air, followed by a sickening thud before metal crashed against metal.

Ella scrambled to her feet, her body protesting the sudden movement, and sprinted to Striker. Loud swearing followed her. When she reached Striker, she looked up to see Brandon Michaels exiting the dark gray sedan now partially attached to Striker’s truck. Then she dismissed him, her only concern the unmoving man at her knees.