Two weeks later

“Dochter!” Kathryn Miller’s voice rang sharply through the barn sending chickens flapping and the dog running straight through the doors on the other side.

Lucy jumped and dropped the pitchfork she’d been holding, the daydream she’d been having about Mack instantly vanishing as the tines of the fork clattered against the floor. Lucy whirled around, her face flushing guiltily. She and Mack had been about to get down and dirty right there in the bed of clean hay before she was interrupted. Mack had torn her smock away and shown her exactly how little her pious community upbringing meant to him.

She’d been getting these daydreams more and more lately. The more time she spent with her family and community. The more she relaxed and settled back into a familiar routine, the more her feelings slowly started to bleed back into her body. Sometimes she shivered, cried and screamed when no one was around, reliving what those awful men had done to her. But other times she returned the better times, better memories of the city. Hours spent at the diner, with Amber and out shopping with Alexandr. Precious time spent with Jane, getting to know Mack’s family and best of all, Mack himself. She didn’t regret coming home to the farm. She needed the simple life in her community to heal. But she couldn’t stop the flood of feelings whenever Mack occupied her mind, and he seemed to be doing that more and more lately.

“Useless!” Kathryn snapped, storming up to Lucy. Joseph trailed behind Lucy’s mother, as though supporting whatever she was doing, but still somewhat hesitant. Lucy had a sudden urge to escape with the dog.

She was surprised at her mother’s words. Kathryn was always strict and overbearing, somewhat militant even. But she’d never been abusive toward her family. Lucy studied her mother’s face as she approached. She looked annoyed, her usual go-to expression… but also sad and a little resigned.

“I’m sorry, mother, I don’t quite understand,” Lucy said hesitantly. “Are you saying I’m useless?”

“Yes, that is correct,” Kathryn snapped. “Utterly useless. You mope and you daydream. You can barely lift a pitchfork with those city arms and that head filled with fluff. I will not reteach you our ways, child. You have been ruined by the city.”

“I admit, I’ve been distracted lately. I’ll try harder.”

“No, daughter. You have been ruined by the city and ruined…” Kathryn said, her voice softening somewhat, “… by a man I would wager.” Lucy looked at her mother. Tears filled the older woman’s eyes. “You are in love, Lucy.”

Lucy nodded. There was no point in denying it. She loved Mack Hudson. She always had and she always would. Whether he still loved her back anymore.

Lucy had never seen her mother cry. Not even the day that Jane left the farm and they all knew she would not return. But now she cried. Tears trickled down her cheeks and her face crumpled. She lifted her apron and sobbed into the cloth. Lucy stood wide-eyed, no idea what she should do. Her father gave her a pointed look and jerked her head toward her mother. Lucy approached slowly as though approaching a skittish colt.

“Mother, I’m so sorry,” she said softly, wrapping her arms around her mother.

Kathryn accepted the hug and nodded. She lifted her face and said in a choked voice. “I never allowed myself to believe that I would lose both of my girls. I tried to ensure that you would understand duty as you grew. That you would understand that your duty is here with your community and not wandering across the countryside.”

“I do know, mother,” Lucy assured her. “You taught me well. I understand my duty and I will stay if that’s what you want.”

Kathryn shook her head, clutching Lucy close. “No, child, that’s not what I want. You must go and be with your heart.” Finally, she pushed her youngest daughter away and lifted her face, dabbing her eyes with her apron, her face red and splotchy. “I blame myself. I have a soft, romantic heart and you girls inherited it from me.”

Lucy was somehow able to contain her laughter at Kathryn’s assertion and side-eyed her father when she wasn’t looking. She’d never seen evidence of softness in her mother, but she wasn’t about to contradict the other woman. Not when her own future happiness lay in the balance.

“What am I going to do?” Lucy asked hesitantly.

“You are going to stop all this useless daydreaming,” Kathryn announced straightening her back and strengthening her voice, “and you’re going to go back to your man. You will marry him and then bring him back to us and present him properly.”

Lucy chewed on her lip a moment and grinned. “Of course, mother. But I should warn you, his language is terrible. Really terrible. And he seems to have it in for Matthew. He hasn’t forgiven Matthew at all for wanting to marry me.”

Kathryn jerked her head toward the house, indicating that Lucy should follow her. Joseph nodded, allowing the women to go. Lucy knew he would finish pitching hay for her. She gave him a quick hug and skipped after her mother.

“Pshaw,” Kathryn snorted. “He’ll be fine with Matthew by the time you bring him round. Mathew and Delly will be married by then anyway. I also want to see Jane and Vladimir’s baby, so please ensure that they come along as well.”

Matthew had become engaged to someone else in Lucy’s absence. She’d been happy for the couple when she found out and extended her congratulations to both. But somehow, she didn’t think Mack would be fine with the other couple. He could be oddly touchy about anything to do with Lucy having a history with other men.

Lucy spent the next day saying goodbye to her community. Not in an overt way. She intended to leave quietly. But she wanted to soak up as much of it as she could before she left. She decided that she wouldn’t be back, except for occasional visits. Though not prohibited unless shunned, interaction with city people was frowned upon in their community. She didn’t want her parents to become gossiped about, so she and Jane would visit only rarely, perhaps once a year.

Lucy visited each place that had meaning for her, spending time with people that she cared about. Matthew was top of her list. Her heart no longer melted even a little for him, though she felt affection, having spent many hours in her youth with him. Then Lucy visited the community hall and a few other buildings she cared for. She wasn’t like Jane. She loved the place where she grew up and felt a pang at leaving for good.

As she made her way back to the farm for her last night, the sun was setting on the corn fields turning the golden rows pink, red and orange. Her heart ached at the sight and she vowed that her yearly visits would always be made at this time. When it was still warm, and harvest was yet to come. She turned her back on the setting sun, allowing the warmth to soak into the back of her neck. Her dog followed faithfully at her heels, his tail swishing against her skirt.

Lucy finally felt settled, full of stars and hearts once more. She just needed to go back out into the world and find her Mack.