“How are you doing?” Mia opens her arms, and I rush into them. She wraps her arms around me, hugging me tightly. I curl into her chest, my body shaking, my face wet with tears, and her hand smooths over my hair. “It’s gonna be okay. I promise. It’ll be okay.”
I blew way too much money on a last-minute red-eye to Chicago and didn’t even text Mia to let her know I was coming until I was in the cab here from the airport. A couple of hours later and we’re in her living room in big fluffy robes and slippers, two spoons and an empty carton of ice cream on the coffee table in front of us.
“If I tell you something, you promise you won’t hate me forever?” she asks.
“I don’t know if I can handle any more secrets today, Mia.”
“It’s not a secret, and you’re allowed to be angry, just not allowed to hate me forever.”
I grimace. “I’m not sure I’m past the point where you’re allowed to say anything but how much of an ass Mason is.”
“That was before the ice cream. Now, we’re both going to be five pounds heavier in the morning, and the payment is honesty.”
I blow out a breath. I’m not sure I’m ready for honesty, but maybe it’s what’s been missing in my life. “Okay. Hit me.”
She straightens as she draws in a long breath, her chest rising. “I loved Nic, and I really believed that one day he’d shape up. But I also knew him well enough to see that a straight life wasn’t going to be easy for him. He was so angry with the world for dealing him a bum hand.” She shakes her head. “But even though he was my brother and I loved him, if I’d had the money and known he was dealing again, I would have done exactly what Mason did.”
“If you’d done something like that, you would have told me. And then I could have called him on being a sellout.”
“Maybe,” she says. She reaches out and tucks my hair behind my ear as if I’m a little girl. “I’m saying that I understand what Mason was doing. I don’t have to like his choices to be able to see that his intentions were good. I hated Nic dating you. I always believed you deserved better, and he was my brother.”
I lay my head in her lap and close my eyes as she plays with my hair. “All this with the money and his father? It just proves that Mason and I are too different.”
“But Mason’s never been a snob. Not really. Don’t you remember the night you and I were catering that dinner party at Arrow’s house, and Mason was hiding in the kitchen because in the dining room they were talking about the year of the wine? He can’t stand that crap. He was raised with money, but it’s not fair to hold that against him when money has never been everything to him.”
“The worlds we come from are too different.”
“But the only world he wants to live in is the one you’re a part of.”
“I’m not sure if that’s true anymore. I’m not sure he’s going to be able to forgive me for taking that money from his dad.”
“I think he will.” She points to my phone, which has been buzzing since I arrived, the notification LED flashing madly. “I bet he already has.”
“I’m so sorry, sweetie.” Mom has been slathering on the apologies since I walked in the door this morning. “You have to believe me when I say your father did what he did for you out of love.”
Dad’s in his office. He’s chosen not to come out and take part in this conversation. Coward.
“I’ve heard this speech before, Mom. You can’t make all the shit you don’t like in my life disappear.”
“One day you’ll have a child, and you’ll understand.”
“I do have a child. Don’t you remember? On my way to college, and my girlfriend disappears to have my baby? You took it out of my hands, just like you tried to take this out of my hands. Disapproving of something in my life doesn’t grant you the right to make it go away.”
“What about us?” Dad asks, emerging from his den for the first time. “Maybe I didn’t do it for you. Maybe I did it for us. I didn’t work this goddamned hard to have my son throw away his life becoming the next Teen Dad. And I sure as fuck didn’t work this hard to watch him marry a whore.”
“Christian!” Mom shouts. “Enough.”
I jump forward, and Mom grabs my arm. My chest puffs. “Call her that again.”
“People don’t change,” Dad says.
I release a puff of air. “Yeah. You can say that again.” I back up, because I’m afraid if I’m this close to him much longer, I’ll take a swing and it’ll feel fucking amazing.
I walk out of the house, straight to my car. I came here to say my piece before leaving town, but I was an idiot if I thought my father was going to admit that he was wrong. When I start the engine, Mom’s standing right beside my door. She’s got her arms folded and her shoulders up around her ears as if it’s thirty degrees out here and not eighty.
I roll down my window and rub my forehead, where an epic headache feels like railroad ties pounding into my temples.
“What he did was wrong and unacceptable. I would have stopped him if I’d known. That’s probably why he never told me about it.” She takes a breath. “I can stand here and apologize until I’m blue in the face for what your father did, but I know it means nothing unless it comes from him, so let me apologize for my part.”
I stiffen. “I thought you didn’t have anything to do with this.”
“I didn’t at first.” She drops her arms and swallows. “But after you asked me on the phone, I confronted your father about it, and he admitted what he’d done. I should have told you, maybe, but I went to her instead. I asked her to keep it quiet, and she refused.” Mom gives me a sad smile. “For what it’s worth, she won me over in that moment, which was hard, because I knew you might not give us a second chance, but I loved her for wanting to do right by you.”
I close my eyes. Bailey has always been afraid of my parents, and the twisted knots in my chest loosen a bit at the knowledge that she stood up to them.
“I hope you’ll forgive your father, Mason.”
“I don’t need him, Mom.” I shake my head. “I don’t need love that’s contingent on me being a certain person or living my life a certain way. That’s not love.”
“No, it’s not, which is why when you leave here today, he’ll still love you.” She lets out a long breath. “I don’t know if that counts for much given what he’s done, but it remains true.”
“You know what the hardest part about this is?” I turn away from her and grip the steering wheel. “Realizing I’m no better than him. I screwed up. She had this boyfriend, this piece-of-shit guy she followed around. I gave him money to stay away. Just like Dad would have done. I must have made him so proud when he found out.”
“Mason—”
“Don’t.” I shake my head, because I don’t want to hear her defend him again today. “We all think our reasons justify our actions. But anything we have to keep secret from someone we love is a problem. Bailey left, and I don’t know if she’s coming back.”
“Don’t wait for her.” Mom reaches out and her fingertips graze my arm. “Go after her.”