Chapter 13
—Good things take time.—
Hadley wasn’t sure what possessed her to open up so much to Axel, but she was just laying it all out there. If he could be honest about what he did for a living, she could be honest about where she came from and who her family was.
“My mom would do kind of weird stuff,” she continued, cringing a little as she said all this out loud. “Like whenever I had friends over she tried to be their friend or flirt with boys from my class. Pretty gross stuff, if I want to be blunt. The overt flirting is why I stopped bringing people over finally. Honestly, I know kids have it way worse. My mom was dysfunctional, and…okay, she didn’t really care if I had food to eat, but I think that had more to do with her viewing food as an enemy.”
“Jesus,” Axel muttered.
She let out a small, humorless laugh. “Yeah, it was kind of messed up, but I will say, the only thing she ever let me do was horseback riding. Once she saw how good I was, she wanted to put me in competitions and she actually paid for lessons and encouraged me in her own weird way. She kind of treated me like a show pony and she loved showing off how good I was to her friends, but I didn’t care because it was the one thing I loved.” Hadley didn’t think of her mom often. Or she tried not to. So it was weird to be talking about her now, but also kind of therapeutic.
He continued rubbing her back softly. Then he said, “So what’s it like now that you have a family? A bigger family, I mean. One who seems to support you.”
Pushing up, she sat next to him so she could look at him while they talked. Being cuddled up with Axel was heaven, but she liked looking into his blue eyes. “It’s different. Especially since all of Brooks’s friends treat me like a little sister. I really like it. Actually, I love it, but I found that I have to draw some boundaries with them because they seem to think I’m fifteen and not twenty-two.”
“Twenty-two,” he muttered.
She pinched his side. “You’ve always known how old I am.”
“Yeah, but it makes me feel ancient right now.”
Axel took one of her hands in his, linked his fingers through hers, and she melted a little more.
“So, tell me about your mom,” she said. “You only said that you guys weren’t close.”
His expression went carefully neutral so she decided to lay her head back on his chest, sensing that looking into his eyes made it harder for him. He shifted, wrapping his arm around her again, and she just wanted to burrow into him. She hoped it would be easier for him to talk with her lying this way, without feeling like he was being scrutinized.
“You don’t have to tell me anything,” she murmured, resting one hand on his chest. Even if she was really curious. Because she wanted to know everything about this man, everything that made him tick. He’d already opened up to her in such a huge way, she wouldn’t push anymore. Not tonight anyway.
He slid his hand down along her side and hip until his big hand was more or less grazing the top of her butt. Holy hell, that shouldn’t get her worked up, but it made her wonder if he planned to do anything else or if cuddling was the only thing on the menu for tonight. Some of her friends from school would have no problem making the first move, but she wasn’t feeling brave right now. After the other night, after the way she’d stroked him off, she wanted him to make the move this time.
His fingers flexed once against her hip, sending a rush of heat through her. The man was huge all over. She could clearly see the outline of his erection, but he seemed content to simply lie there with her.
“I want to tell you about my past too. I have no idea who my father was, and honestly, I don’t think my mom knew either. She was sort of like your mom, I guess, trying to recapture her youth, or just hold on to it. She liked to party and she didn’t mind leaving me home alone. If it hadn’t been for a neighbor, I wouldn’t have eaten most nights. We lived in this shitty little trailer, so I was what you would consider white trash. I didn’t really understand that until I hit middle school.”
He was silent for a long moment and she gently kissed his chest, hating the thought of him going hungry. He was quiet for a while and she thought he might be done.
“She partied too hard one night and went home with the wrong man,” he finally said. “The guy killed her.” His voice was completely devoid of emotion.
Stunned, Hadley pushed up so she could look at him. “Axel, I’m so sorry.”
He lifted a shoulder, the sheets rustling with the movement. “It was a long time ago. I was sixteen then. So I was put in the system for a couple years, and got pretty lucky. I only lived with two families, and they weren’t great but they also weren’t abusive. I think it’s because of my size. They pretty much left me alone, cashed their checks, and I got to finish school in the same school district I’d lived in with my mom. Trust me, I’ve seen a hell of a lot worse.”
She was sure that he had, given that he’d worked for the FBI. Shifting up closer, she brushed her lips over his, only intending a chaste kiss, but he immediately deepened it, his tongue teasing her mouth open in the most dominating, possessive way.
And she melted into him, unable to resist this sexy, wonderful man who’d come to Redemption Harbor simply to protect her because of a file he’d read. She was coming to terms with what he did for a living, but she still wanted him.
Desperately. And she wasn’t sure what that said about her.
She started to climb onto him, straddling him, but found herself flat on her back underneath him instead. He made a sort of sexy growling sound as he plundered her mouth, his huge erection pressed against her belly.
Heat flooded between her thighs as she thought about what he would feel like pressing into her. She’d already heard him come, knew how intoxicating it was to see and hear a man like Axel lose control, and she wanted him to do it with her now. Wanted to know him in the most intimate way possible.
“Want to taste all of you,” Axel murmured against her lips, his voice thrilling. And his words?
She was about to combust from them. Hadley thought she said okay or tried to get an answer out even if he wasn’t really asking anything. But it came out as more of a strangled moan as he started lifting her shirt up, up, up.
She hadn’t bothered with a bra after her shower and now she was really, really grateful when his hands skimmed her bare breasts.
And froze.
Maybe he’d been expecting her to have one on. He only paused for a moment before he cupped them fully, teasing her already hard nipples as he continued kissing her. His assault on her mouth was delicious and overwhelming and she felt as if she’d never been truly kissed before. Or at least she’d never been kissed by someone like Axel.
Demanding and intense and so sexy he lit her on fire.
In another couple seconds her sweater was off and he was looking down at her as if she was the most beautiful woman in the world. As if she was the only thing that mattered. It was impossible not to be affected.
“I want to make you come.” The words came out as a growl, but also a question.
Oh yeah, she was here for this. All night long. She nodded because she didn’t trust her voice.
Keeping his gaze pinned to hers, he slowly started tugging her pants down her legs, hooking his fingers into her panties as he went, pulling everything off at once. The house was heated and the room was perfectly comfortable, but being fully exposed to Axel like this now made her feel vulnerable.
Which wasn’t necessarily a bad thing, but it was hard not to feel self-conscious as his scorching gaze swept over her from head to toe. Kneeling in between her spread legs, he said, “You’re so perfect.”
Just like that, all the tension inside her dissipated. She started to reach for him when he covered her body with his again. She arched into him, her sensitive breasts rubbing against the soft fabric of his shirt and hard muscle beneath.
When he reached between their bodies, gently cupping her mound, she moaned into his mouth. Slowly, he began teasing between her already slick folds, his movements unhurried and sensual.
As he slid a finger inside her, she bit his bottom lip harder than she’d intended. He liked it, if the sexy growl he made and the way he rolled his hips against her was any indication.
“Want to taste your come,” he whispered, a hint of wicked in his clear blue eyes as he started kissing a path across her chest, pausing at one breast.
He sucked a nipple into his mouth even as her brain was computing his words. Her past lover, as in singular, had been a college boyfriend. Everything had been rushed, and in hindsight, she realized it had been all about him. Now…she arched off the bed as Axel lightly pressed his teeth around her hardened nipple. It was all about her.
There was no pain, just the hint of it, which made her pleasure that much more pronounced. Combined with the way he was stroking inside her, all her nerve endings felt as if they were on overload.
It wasn’t going to take much to make her come. Not when he was playing her body so expertly. As he alternated between her breasts, teasing, kissing, and gently nipping, he kept stroking her, over and over.
Her inner walls tightened more and more with each stroke, as she pushed closer to the edge of release. Oh God, this felt so good. Too good. She could barely think and breathe as her muscles tightened convulsively around him.
The path he kissed down her stomach tingled with each kiss, as if he was marking her, claiming her. Maybe that was her imagination and right now she didn’t care.
She was so damn close.
By the time he knelt between her spread thighs, her legs were trembling. And when his tongue teased her clit, she nearly vaulted off the bed. At first he was gentle and soft, but he increased his pressure even as his strokes remained steady.
She dug her fingers into his short hair, holding on to him as he brought her so much pleasure she could hardly stand it. “Axel.” When she moaned out his name, he made a sexy growling sound, which reverberated through her clit.
Too. Much.
She didn’t just fall, she catapulted over the edge as pleasure shot out to her nerve endings, her clit pulsing with each stroke from his wicked, wicked tongue. Not feeling vulnerable anymore, she rolled her hips against his face as her orgasm punched through her, until she collapsed against the soft bed, a mass of nerves. Her breathing was erratic as she looked down her body at him.
His blue eyes were bright with hunger. For her.
She reached for him, wanting to feel him inside her. More than just his fingers. All of him. Every delicious inch.
He slid up her body, covering her again as she wrapped her legs around him.
“That was incredible,” she murmured.
He brushed his lips over hers once as he slid a hand down to grip her hip, his fingers flexing against her bare skin. The hold was possessive and gentle at the same time.
When she reached between their bodies, he stilled. “I…don’t have a condom.”
She didn’t either, but… “I’m on the pill. And I’m clean.”
“I am too but…I think we should wait.” He didn’t move off her and the lust in his eyes didn’t dim, but the set of his jaw was firm.
“Why?”
“I want to make sure you’re really ready for this. You’ve been through a lot recently. Hell, you’re still dealing with a lot. I…don’t want to be someone you regret.”
Her eyes widened at his words, at the raw vulnerability that sparked in his gaze. “I won’t regret this.” Of that she had no doubt.
He kissed her again, this time deeper, hungrier. “I…still want to wait.”
Sighing, she simply ran her fingers down his still-covered back. She really wished he was naked, but wasn’t going to push. Much. “So…how long do we have to wait?”
He let out a startled laugh before kissing her again.
And he didn’t actually answer. But that was okay. She had a feeling his control was razor thin now, especially given the erection she felt against her belly. If he was only worried about her having regrets, he didn’t need to.
Soon enough, she’d make sure he understood that.