After Molly left, I went on autopilot, peeling off my clothes. I sank beneath the steaming water. God, Molly was right. I hadn’t known this was what I needed, but the water was so warm, almost hot. It was perfect. I dipped my head below the surface. For a moment, it was like being in one of those sensory deprivation tanks. No light. No sound. No sensation at all but floating warmth.

I could lose myself here. No pain. No fear. There was just...me. I floated down and down. My hair splayed out in ribbons above me. It felt like flying.

Then, something pulled at my heart and I knew I wasn’t alone.

Jagger stood at the water’s edge as I emerged. His eyes shone silver and the muscles of his jaw rippled as he swallowed hard.

“I’m so sorry,” he said as he slowly lowered himself to sit on the ledge. I treaded water on the opposite side of the pool, afraid to go to him. If I touched him. If I let him touch me. I would have to feel everything again. It was as if I was in that gap of time after banging your knee before the pain hit. The coming pain would be intense and sharp. I wasn’t sure if I could bear it.

“Jagger…”

He came to me. My heart thundered with so many emotions I couldn’t sort them all through. Grief. Pain. Loneliness. Desire. Desperation. Fear. Then something else...thrumming quietly beneath it all. Love.

“Come here,” he said. He propelled through the water with agile grace. Sliding an arm around me, he pulled me to the opposite ledge.

I let him take me, hiccupping as I tried to stifle a sob. Jagger ran a thumb over my cheekbone, wiping away a tear I hadn’t even realized I’d shed.

“It hurts,” I said.

“I know.”

At first, I wasn’t sure what he meant by that. He knew because he’d lost someone so close to him? Or, he knew because he felt my pain as if it were his own.

“You are safe,” he whispered. It was the question Grace had asked me at the end. Jagger was answering it now. He knew. How could he know?

“I’m so...Jagger...I’m lost. Oh, God. I’m so lost.” Then, the tears came and I fell through that gap of time. The pain hit me with blunt force straight to the chest. But, Jagger was there. He held me close as I curled into the grief.

He whispered sweet things against my temple as he held me. The water swirled around us. We were so buoyant together, I didn’t need to tread. We just floated, suspended in time and space. A part of me wished we could be like this forever. Away from the world. Away from the people we’d lost. Away from Valent and the Pack. Just us.

“I’m lost,” I whispered against his chest.

Jagger’s heart thumped beneath my ear. My own heart slowed to match the rhythm. I didn’t know what we were. It was yet another question I hadn’t had time to ask Aunt Grace. But, she couldn’t have understood. Could she?

“She said Able Valent was her brother,” I said. “I never knew. They kept so many secrets from me, Jagger. I feel like everything I’ve ever known about myself was a lie. And I knew so little to begin with.”

As he held me, a new, fierce knowledge rose up. It was coming from him. Words and truth he wasn’t yet ready to voice. But, he didn’t have to. There was one core truth that neither of us could deny. Whatever else I was, whatever lies Able Valent had forced Grace to feed me, as Jagger Wilkes held me in his arms, I knew he was mine. And I was his. But, we’d both been broken into tiny pieces by the things that happened before we even met.

“You’re here now,” he said. “You’re not lost anymore, Rowan. I...I found you.”

All at once, I knew how much it cost him to say it. I knew a part of him felt as if he were betraying Keara. It would be easy for me to hate her a little for it. I couldn’t. Because, she was part of Jagger too. And she’d loved him.

“You didn’t find me.” I smiled and looked up at him. Tears glistened in his eyes. “In point of fact, I found you!”

He laughed. “I guess you did.”

A moment passed. Then another. We held each other in that bubble of time. No light. No sound. Nothing except the beat of our hearts in perfect synchrony.

Jagger moved first. His kiss was light, testing me. Was it too soon? Was my pain too sharp? Yes, to all of it. And yet, the timing never felt more right. I kissed him back.

A little of the grief washed away. It wasn’t gone. Not for him. Not for me. But, we both realized there was room for something else as well. There was room for each other. For this.

The last time we came together, it was partly fueled by our own rage and disbelief. This time, we had our eyes wide open. Alone, we might not be able to bear our pain. Together, we could ease it for each other, if only just a little.

“You saved me,” he whispered. “How did you do it?”

“I don’t know,” I said. “I don’t know why or how I can do the things I do. I know I’m not a shifter. And I know I’m not…”

“Shhh,” he said. “That’s not what I meant. I mean you saved me. I came to Heartland to die. For almost three years, it’s the only thing I’ve wanted. I went to Able’s compound to kill him...but also so I could end it. Every single day, I’ve wanted to die, Rowan. Until I met you.”

I slid my arms around his neck and kissed him slow and deep. I couldn’t hear him say it again. I couldn’t lose him too. My growing need kindled in my core. I felt Jagger’s rising too. It was right. It was perfect. We fit.

Jagger slid his hands down my ribcage, settling them on my hips. He lifted me to the ledge with ease. Smiling up at me with wonder in his eyes, he spread my knees as he treaded water between them.

He licked along my inner thigh. I gasped as he marked a trail all the way to my slick folds. I was slippery with desire as he spread me open, skillfully swirling his tongue around my sensitive bud. I gasped and threw my head back as pleasure flooded through me.

“Jagger!” I cried as I laced my fingers through his hair, pulling him down even deeper. Jagger lapped at me hungrily, drawing me out. I shuddered, barely able to contain the sensation. As he worked me over with his mouth and tongue, he slid two fingers inside me and found a pleasure spot I never even knew I had.

My knees trembling, I struggled to spread them even wider for him. I tried to pull him up so I could kiss him, so I could return the favor. But, Jagger was determined to see his work through. Then, he brought me over the edge. I bucked and thrust into him as he drew me out. I braced myself against the ledge and arched my back. I was too far gone. Jagger knew it.

“Let go, Rowan,” he said. “Give in.”

“Oh!”

I gave in. Pleasure exploded through my nerve endings. My toes curled as Jagger brought me home. My cries of ecstasy echoed off the cavern walls and I didn’t care who heard. There were shifters up above with preternatural hearing. Oh, God, I felt shameless and wild. Jagger knew how to reach me in all the deepest places of my heart and soul.

As I crested down, I knew how to reach him right back. The light in the cavern brightened and I knew my eyes had gone to silver, the same exact shade as his wolf eyes. I slid into the water beside him and motioned with my chin. Jagger smiled as he knew what I was about as he slid to the ledge in front of me.

It was my turn. I spread Jagger’s knees and took him in my mouth. His cock was huge and hard and filled me all the way to the back of my throat. For an instant, I didn’t know if I could take him all in. But, I did. Oh, God, I did.

Jagger didn’t last as long as I had. I lacked the same finesse as he, but it wasn’t what he needed. I felt his balls tighten and went to work on those too. He was so hard. So full. So good.

“Baby,” he whispered and it sent a shiver down my spine. I wanted him. All of him. In every way he would let me. As I sucked him, I felt that flare of heat at the base of my neck and knew it would lead to a different kind of claiming. But, not tonight. Tonight was just about pleasure, escape and sharing something neither of us quite knew what to do with yet.

Jagger’s hips trembled and I knew he was close. I looked up at him, locking eyes. That seemed to drive him even more wild and heighten his pleasure. So, I held his gaze as he spent himself inside me. The sweet tang of his seed filled me and I took it all. I kept him there until I felt him go soft. Only then did I pop out of the water and come beside him.

Jagger slid his hand beneath my jaw and kissed me. We needed no more words between us that night. This would be enough. The edges of grief played at the corners of my heart still, but Jagger’s touch helped keep them at bay.

We came together again and again. No sooner had I stretched out on the ledge before Jagger hovered over me again. I reached for him and found him hard as rock. Smiling, I spread my legs and brought him into me. Jagger’s eyes flashed with desire as he sheathed himself as deep as he could go.

We moved together. Jagger filled me. I wrapped him in my warmth. We made love. And then we fucked. Each time I thought I was spent. Then, no more than an hour or even a few minutes would pass and my need for him rose all over again.

I knew what it was. Our bodies both craved an even deeper connection. A claiming. I felt it in the flaring, hungry heat at the base of my neck. I saw Jagger’s eyes glaze with animal lust as he brushed his fingers over that space. He wanted. I wanted. And yet, I knew he wasn’t ready. Neither was I. Not tonight. Not yet.

So, we found contentment and peace with the parts of ourselves we were willing to give.

Later, I might come to believe those hidden springs held magic in them. Or perhaps the magic was in Jagger’s touch as he held me close. I curled into him as we found a space in the corner of the rocky ledge and slept in each other’s arms.