“Ethan?”  I tightened my grip around his fingers, and he looked down at our joined hands.  He continued to trace his thumb over my hand.  “It wasn’t you; it was me.  I just…I was caught off guard.  I wasn’t ready to tell anyone about you, but that’s not your fault.  It’s mine.  I’m the one who’s messed up in the head, Ethan, not you.”

Ethan looked from me to our hands and then to Faith and her hand on his shoulder.  She took a slight step back and let go of him at the same time, nodding her head towards me.

“You want to, Ethan.”

“Please, Ethan.”  I took both his hands in mine.  “Please give me another chance.”

Ethan tilted his head down and a little to the side, first focusing on me with his right eye and then with the left.  I bit down on my lip and held my breath.

“But I’m embarrassing,” Ethan said again, his voice cracking a little.

“No, Ethan.  No, you aren’t.” I couldn’t help the tears that started to fall down my cheeks again.  I wondered if I could get dehydrated from crying so much.  My words came out all smashed together and probably only barely understandable through my sobs.  “You are wonderful and beautiful and intelligent, and I love being with you and reading to you, and there is no way in hell I deserve another chance after what I did, but please, please give me one.”

Ethan’s lower lip disappeared behind his teeth as I tentatively reached out and slipped my fingers into the palm of his right hand.  My heart was pounding against my ribs, and I wondered if he could actually hear it.  Ethan’s gaze darted around for a moment before finally settling back on mine.

“You would introduce me to your friends?”  His voice was soft.  “You would tell people about me without being ashamed of me?”

“Yes,” I said.  “And I wasn’t ashamed of you, Ethan…ever.  It’s me I’m ashamed of.  I never wanted to hurt you.”

“I want to be with you,” he said in a voice that barely counted as a whisper.  “It felt so right when we were together.  I know I want to be with you but only if you want me enough to tell people who I am to you.  If not…”

“I will.  I swear I will.”  My mind cringed at the very idea, but the nervous part of me was overshadowed by the part that realized both of his hands were grasping mine now.  He wasn’t going to turn me away.  The emotional side of him was winning.  “I know I let my pride get in the way, and I screwed it all up.”

“Pride before the fall,” Ethan muttered.  “I was proud to tell everyone about you.”

“I’m so sorry, Ethan,” I said again.  “You have been so wonderful to me, and I should be proud to be with you.  I need to get over worrying about what others think and focus on what I want.  Please, let me know what I can say or do to make up for it.”

“We should probably talk some more.”  Ethan looked from our hands to my eyes, and I nodded vigorously.  Again, his eyes darkened a little, and distrust clouded his gaze for a moment.  “You really won’t try to hide me from people?”

I had to be honest with him.  He had been completely honest with me, and I couldn’t sugarcoat this.  He’d see right through it.

“I have to admit, it isn’t going to be easy to talk to some people about you, but I will do it.”

“Your father?”

“He’ll be the hardest, yes.”

“I could go with you.”

“No, I think that would definitely be worse.  Let him get used to the idea before you meet.”

“Well, um, actually”—Ethan paused as he danced from one foot to the other—“we’ve met before.”  As he spoke, it seemed as if his left foot was trying to get away from the rest of him.

“You’ve met my father?”

“Yes, he met me to go over the accounts the week after my parents died.”

“Oh,” I responded since any actual, intelligent words didn’t seem to be forthcoming.

“Honestly, Ashlyn—he didn’t like me too much.”

“Great,” I muttered.

“We’ve met a couple of times since then,” Ethan said with a shrug.  “I don’t think he approves of some of my financial decisions.”

“He usually has an opinion about such things.”  I tilted my head to one side, my mind traipsing back to a time when I was nine and wanted to buy a gigantic stuffed animal.  I had received an endless lecture about items that appreciate in value and those that don’t.  I didn’t end up with the giant Care Bear. I remembered that much.

Ethan looked at me for a while.

“What he says really matters to you,” Ethan said.  It was a statement, not a question.  His tongue fiddled with his lip rings.

“It always has,” I said.  “I know he’s a workaholic and can certainly be overbearing, but he’s my dad.  I don’t want to let him down.  I’m an only child, and he counts on me for too much.”

“That’s why you’re going to work with him instead of doing something you’d rather do.”

“Yes, it is.”

He stared at me for another minute before finally showing me his beautiful half grin.

“I’m gonna get my stuff,” Ethan said.  He took a step toward the doorway and then stopped, his smile faltering and his eyes lowering a little.  “Where will we go?”

“Um, I didn’t bring my car,” I told him.

“How did you get here?”

“I took a cab.”

“I’ll go call for one,” Ethan said.  “I can come back for my bike later.”

“Where do you want to go?” I asked.

“Not my place,” he said quickly and quietly, glancing nervously at Faith.  She gave him a small smile.  I had honestly forgotten she was there at all.

“My place?” I asked, hopeful.  My jittery stomach waited for his reply.

“Okay.”  Ethan let go of my hands, but his left arm immediately pulled me against him.  I wrapped both arms around him, letting the tears go and soak into his shirt.

“I’m sorry,” I said.  “I really, really am…”

Ethan wrapped his other arm around me and held me against his chest for a minute.  He touched the top of my head with his lips before he released me, saying he’d call the cab and then we could go.  He walked through the door and out of my sight, leaving Faith and me alone in the hallway.

“He cares about you,” Faith said with a smile.  “Sometimes, he just doesn’t know what he’s feeling.”

“He’s not the only one,” I mumbled.  “We just met, but I…”

“I’m not letting him go anywhere with her!” A loud voice screeched from inside the apartment.  Suddenly, Andrea was back in the hallway, shaking a finger at me.  “There is no way I’m letting him leave here—not with you!  You fucking hurt him, you skanky little—”

“Andrea!” Faith stood between us and glanced over her shoulder back into the apartment.  “He’s going to hear you!”

“Good!  Obviously he’s got his wires crossed if he’s listening to her, so he needs to listen to someone else!”

“I think Ethan needs to talk to her,” Faith said quietly, though she was still eyeing me warily.

“That was his first panic attack since Hailey left him!” Andrea snarled.  “Faith, he was a freaking mess!  You didn’t see him when he first got here!  This bitch did that to him, and I’m not going to let her—”

“Andi”—Faith put her hand on Andrea’s arm—“remember what he was like yesterday?”

“Of course I fucking remember!  That just makes this so much worse!”

“He wants to work it out.”  Faith leaned a little closer to the blonde.  “He was holding on to her with a death grip, and he didn’t even know it.”

Andrea glared at me, narrowed her eyes even more, and then stuck out her bottom lip.  She exhaled sharply, causing her breath to make her bangs fly off her forehead for a moment.

“That doesn’t mean anything,” Andrea said, but her voice held a lot less venom than it had just a second ago.

“I don’t want to hurt him—”

“Shut up,” Andrea said.  “You are the last person I want to hear from right now.”

“He needs to talk to her, Andi.  He was so upset, but it was because—”

“Whatever.”  She held her hand in front of Faith’s face.  Faith scowled at her and pushed it away.

“Stop it.”  The little brunette was starting to look like David in front of Goliath.  “Ethan needs this.  Give him a fucking chance to see if it can work.  He deserves a chance.  Are you going to deny him that?”

Andrea stopped her grumbling long enough to stare intently at Faith and then took a long, slow breath.  She put her hands on her hips.  Andrea rose up to her full height and glared down at me.

“If you hurt him again, I swear I’ll be looking for you,” she told me.  “I don’t know what the fuck he sees in you, but I don’t like it.  I don’t like you snobby, rich bitches with your country clubs and your Gucci purses!”

“It’s Prada,” I said before I could stop myself.  Her glare intensified.

“If he comes back here again like he did this afternoon, I will hunt you down and feed you the fucking Prada purse.  Got it?”

“Got it,” I whispered.  Holy shit, she was scary.

“Andrea!”  Faith grabbed her arm and shoved her back through the doorway.  Andrea went reluctantly, giving me the stink eye the entire time.  Faith shook her head a little before turning back to me.  Her stare wasn’t nearly as frightening but certainly still intense.

“Ethan’s special to a lot of people,” she said quietly enough that those inside could not have heard her.  “He means a lot to me and to his other friends.  He was so happy when he was here last weekend that I’m going to give you the benefit of the doubt and hope we can chalk this up to a misunderstanding, but don’t hurt him like that again.  Don’t ever make him feel like he’s less than he is.  I won’t stand for it.”

“I didn’t mean to,” I said.  I felt another tear run down my cheek.  “I really didn’t.  He means a lot to me as well, and I already know how wonderful he is.”

“Good to hear,” Faith said with a nod.

The apartment door opened wide, and Ethan walked back into the hallway.  Behind him there were two others—the huge one from before with his arms crossed over his chest, and a tall, lanky woman with very short black hair.  The woman started at me intensely, and it made me feel like she could see right into my skull.  The big guy looked me up and down but didn’t say a word to me.  He only spoke to Ethan.

“You sure, E?”

“I’m sure, CeeCee—thanks.”

CeeCee.  I remembered the name.  He was the track runner who had helped Ethan when he was hurt.

“You know it.”

Ethan exhibited an apprehensive smile as he glanced first at me and then at Faith.

“You both okay?” he asked.  “Andi isn’t talking to me now.”

“I think we’re going to be,” Faith told him.  She turned on her heel and walked back into the apartment.  She waved her hand in the air. “Andi will be fine.  You know how protective she is.”

The door shut, and Ethan glanced at me nervously.

“Was Andi mean to you?”

“Nothing I didn’t deserve.”

“And Faith?”

“They all care about you a lot.”

“They’re my friends,” he said with a shrug.  “We all take care of each other.”

I snorted, thinking about how often my friends had taken care of me.  I recalled one weekend about a year ago.  Presley laughed her ass off at me when I drank so much I couldn’t walk.  She did call me a cab, at least.  I wondered if I had ever had a friend who would make someone eat a designer purse for hurting me. I didn’t think so.  My friends would never defile name brand consumer products.

“Are you okay?”  Ethan’s hand reached out and stroked my cheek, wiping away the escaped tear.

“I think so,” I said.  “Are you?”

“Well, half of me is, at least.”  Ethan’s smile didn’t quite reach his eyes.  “The other half is still a little worried.”

“What can I do to convince both halves I mean it?” I asked.  “How can I show you I want to be with you, and whatever people say…well, that’s what they’ll say.”

“I don’t really know,” Ethan said.  “I can’t even get the two halves of me to talk to each other.  I have no idea how I’ll get them both to talk to you.”

He laughed, but I couldn’t join him.  It wasn’t horribly genuine, anyway.  We stepped outside and walked to the curb, awaiting the taxi.

“I’ll try if you will.”  Ethan placed his hand—the left, I noticed—under my chin and tilted my head up to look at him.

“I think that would be great,” I said.  “And thank you.”

“For what?”

“Giving me the chance I don’t deserve.”

I watched Ethan lean down slowly and then closed my eyes as his lips pressed softly but earnestly against mine.