Twenty-three

“She seems some better, doesn’t she, Duel?”

His gut clenched. Two Bit did seem to show signs of improvement. Still, he hoped they weren’t grasping at empty air. The mind did strange things to a person.

He rubbed Jessie’s shoulders and felt unusual peace when she leaned into him. The lamp’s glow brought forth golden-red glints in her hair. Deep lines around her mouth told of extreme weariness when she met his eyes. God, how he loved this woman.

“Come to bed, Jess. Sitting there watching her isn’t going to make her get well faster. You haven’t left Two Bit’s side since she took ill.”

Jessie’s sigh filled the space. “I keep thinking she’ll awaken and need me.”

“If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll be no good to her when she does wake up.”

Vicky and Pop had hovered all day, and though Jessie didn’t mind their helping in other areas, she’d refused their offer to sit with Marley. Remorse ate at Vicky for the unfortunate accident. But Jessie’s guilt did more than eat; it consumed.

“Come and lie down for a while. We can hear her if she wakes up.”

Resigned, Jessie nodded and stood. “Guess you’re right.”

She remained fully clothed as she stretched out on the bed. He lowered the wick on the lamp until it barely flickered, then turned to leave the curtained alcove.

“Don’t go. Please.”

How could he refuse the beckoning of an angel? No more than he could stop breathing. He glanced at the empty space next to her.

“Lie beside me.”

Didn’t she know the trouble she invited? He was already embarrassed by the bulge in his trousers, which thankfully the dim light hid. But lying close to her, she would feel proof of his desire.

“I need you, Duel.”

Truth to tell, he needed her as badly or worse. He hated to think of a time when she wouldn’t be by his side. Fighting back that horrible thought, he removed his boots.

Seconds later, Jessie’s pliant curves molded into the spoon shape of his body. His arms came around her. Back against chest, her rounded behind fit into his groin as if it’d been sculpted specifically for it.

A groan rose, which he quickly repressed. Get your mind on other things, McClain, or you’ll scare the daylights out of her.

He thought about planting, harvesting, about the moon and the stars, which he could see through the window. Other things besides the smell of vanilla and spice.

Desperate to clear his mind, he inhaled deeply, only to suck a silky strand into his mouth. Jesus! He could think of nothing except the way she made him feel. Despite his intense efforts, his body refused to obey his commands.

Closing his eyes, he tried to recite the books of the Old Testament. Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers…

Jessie rolled over to face him, her blue eyes shining in the muted light.

Confound it, what came after Numbers? He started again. Genesis, Exodus—

“Duel?”

There went his focus. “Yes, Jess?”

Her hand brushed his swollen need, and he gasped at the unexpected pleasure. Lord, help him.

“Would you kiss me?” Her throaty whisper heaped more fuel onto the already blazing fire.

The mute fairy got his tongue. All the reasons why he ought not grant her request vanished in the night air.

She tasted of honey and wild berries—the flavor of sultry summer days. Excruciating desire flowed through him like hot oil. He needed her as a drowning man needed a life raft. At this point, were the reverend to ask him, he couldn’t swear Genesis was even a book in the Bible. Jessie had become his genesis, his beginning. She was the origin of all things pleasurable and good.

“I don’t know that I can stop this time, darlin’.” He murmured the words against her lips, trying to warn her without separating himself from her lush mouth. “I’m merely a man, not a saint.”

Leaning back from him, she touched his lips with her fingers. “Don’t talk. I choose to be your wife in every way. This time there’ll be no turning back.”

Afraid to hope she meant to keep her word, Duel didn’t resist when she unbuttoned his shirt. Nor did he stop her when she pushed her hand inside to caress the fine hairs on his chest.

Between hungry kisses and heated strokes, they shed their clothes. The pile beside the bed grew until they had no more left to add.

From the tips of her dainty toes to her auburn crowning glory, Duel stroked, kissing every inch. A light brush here, a tender flit there, he gave his lady pleasure, and in turn, stole a piece of her to tuck inside his heart. Just in case.

Jessie’s airy caresses greatly disturbed his quest for control. Her fingertips flirted with his neck, back, and buttocks, threatening to cast him over the brink.

“Ahh. You drive me insane, lady.” He nibbled on a delicately formed ear, then left a trail of kisses down her throat.

The urge to plunge into her, to satisfy his primal needs almost overpowered him. Still, he recognized and respected the fears lodged deep within her and stifled his body’s craving.

When at last her raspy breathing matched his own, Duel rolled over and pulled her on top. He tried to ignore her pointed breasts thrusting against his chest.

“It’s up to you, darlin’. If you want me, here I am. You have control of whatever happens.”

Moonlight cupped her beautiful breasts, traced her lush curves. He almost burst with need to be inside her. The wild thought crossed his mind that if she turned away from him now, he would surely die of longing.

Honest passion danced across her features, and he could have sworn tears sparkled in her eyes.

“Thank you, my dearest.”

With unhurried movements, she lay upon him, her pliant shape molding against his hard muscle.

Lazily, her mouth came to his in a lingering kiss.

And when he strove to continue, she pushed herself above him and teasingly dipped her head until the ends of her hair brushed his chest. Then with deliberate torment, she dragged the strands across his nipples, down his belly, and… Oh my.

Each silky tress skimmed over and around his inflamed member, each individual strand paying homage to the tumult they were creating.

Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John!

Just as he reached the last of his fortitude, she gently took his thickness and guided it into her velvety softness. Moist heat closed around him.

She eased down upon him, and when she started to move her hips, tight, pulsating waves carried him to the land of milk and honey.

* * *

Later, lying with her head on his chest, Jessie smiled. A blanket of blissful calm spread through her. The experience she’d just savored couldn’t have happened to her.

Not after the years of nothing but sheer horror at the mere thought of intimacy with a man. Not after she’d betrayed Duel’s trust in her. She didn’t deserve such happiness.

Nagging guilt dimmed her glow. He gave her strength, and she’d repaid him by hiding a terrible secret.

The steady beat of Duel’s heart gave her courage to do what she must do. Even if he hated her for it.

“Duel, are you asleep?”

“Just tryin’ to catch my breath. You, dear lady, are something else.” His admiring tone added to her shame.

“I have something to tell you—something I should have told you from the start.”

He drew small circles on her bare shoulder. “Can it wait till morning? If it’s waited this long…”

She sat up and covered herself with the sheet. “It’s important.”

“Well, in that case.” He shifted until he leaned against the headboard. “Shoot.”

Now that she had his attention, she lost courage. What words did a woman use to destroy a man’s dream of a son of his own?

“You have to understand about the night I shot Jeremiah and what drove me to it.”

“Jess darlin’, no one in their right mind would blame you for what you did. I sure don’t.”

“They’re coming, Duel. Sure as the stars are twinkling in the sky, they’re coming to take me away.”

“They’ll have to get through me first, and that includes Luke too. I’ll fight every last one of them.”

She lovingly traced the deep crease near his mouth. “You can’t stop them. Hush now, I have to tell you my secret.”

“Don’t know why. I already know everything I need to about you,” he grumbled, and took her hand. Opening it, he rested his palm against hers, fingers touching fingers.

“About a month before I ki…before that night, Jeremiah kicked my stomach until he killed the life inside me. There was so much bleeding. I couldn’t stop it.” Those scenes ran through her mind as if they’d just happened. “I lost my baby.”

“Jess, I’m so sorry. For your sake, don’t do this. The bastard! I wish… I wish… Oh God!” Duel slammed his fist into his pillow.

“The assault permanently damaged me. A doctor told me I’ll never have children, not ever. My anger festered until I couldn’t take it anymore.” She covered her face with her hands, unable to look at her tall, noble Texan.

“Don’t, Jess.”

“I have to. You deserve to know what you’ve gotten.” She took a deep breath. “Jeremiah came into my room that night, pulled me downstairs where several of his friends waited.”

Her voice shook, recounting the vivid memory. “He shouted that I was of no use to him since I couldn’t bear children.”

“His own damn fault, the sorry-assed bastard!” Maybe the pain in his voice came from grief that he’d hitched his dream to half a woman, or maybe from anger. Six of one, half a dozen of the other. Didn’t make any difference. He wouldn’t want her after this.

“Anyway, he told his friends to take me and do what they wanted. They laughed. I snatched the pistol out of Jeremiah’s holster and…and—”

Duel held her so tightly she could hardly breathe, as if by doing that he could prevent the nightmare from consuming her.

“Shhh. Don’t think about it. He’s not worth wasting a pennyweight of thought over.” He cradled her face between his hands, forcing her to look at him. “I have you now and you’re safe.”

She didn’t want to see his stricken look and know that she’d caused it.

“Open your eyes, darlin’.” His gentle tone could have tamed the wildest, meanest maverick.

She wiped her tears and braced herself. Yet strangely, the amber lights held nothing frightening. What shone forth, poets had expressed for centuries in sonnets of love and adoration.

“I feel unworthy of you.” This time the tremble appeared in his deep voice.

“You want me? After everything I’ve told you?” She prayed for a miracle.

“Jess, you’re not an animal to be turned out or sold.” Duel kissed her soundly.

“You’re not disappointed? I know how much you want a son.”

“Darlin’, I promised to stand by you in sickness and in health, for better or worse, until death do us part. I didn’t vow to do all that just till I changed my mind. Besides, what you told me only makes me love you more.”

Unless her hearing had suddenly gone bad, he’d just declared his love for her.

“You love me? For real?”

“Is that so hard to believe? After my jealous rage over Hampton Pierson’s attentions and me pawing you every time you come close to me? Of course I love you.”

“But Annie?”

“That part of my life is over. I loved her once. That was then, this is now. I see that. You’re my wife, and I’m damn proud for you to wear my name.” He peered at her sternly, his gruff addition erasing all doubt. “One more thing. I wed you because I wanted you, lady, not because of any thoughts about offspring.”

“Thank you.” The words came out no louder than a whisper. Her gratitude ran deep, making the simple statement seem inadequate for what she felt.

“Don’t have to thank me. I haven’t done anything. Just wish I could bring Foltry back from the dead and horsewhip the son of a bitch.” He tenderly pressed his lips to her open palm. “What you had to suffer—God help me—no woman should ever have to go through.”

* * *

A languid peace wound its way through Jessie. Their second lovemaking session had left her totally exhausted, but in a good way.

Snoring softly beside her, his arms holding her safe, Duel exhibited the same contentment. The harsh lines on his features seemed softer, meshing with his sensitive inner spirit.

He’d shown uncommon compassion for her this night. Despite the driving urges she knew he battled, he’d respected her mental fears and let her go at her own pace.

Overwhelmed by his thoughtfulness, she caressed his cheek. How she loved this man, her knight of the Texas Plains. His tender lovemaking made her feel more than a fairy-tale princess in a storybook. The toasty flush inside made her the most beautiful woman in the world.

And tomorrow they’d discuss the Butler children.