CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Vivian thought she’d faint when Barnes announced Lord Stanstead was here to see her. She could not sit with him while the drama between Silvia and Nick was playing itself out across the garden. “Is her ladyship in?”
“Yes, my lady.”
“Would you please ask her to attend me?”
Barnes, bless him, bowed and went back into the house. Vivian had known that she had to be able to intermingle with Rupert outside the bedchamber and behave in a reasonable manner, yet she thought she would have time to think of how to do it. On the other hand, putting the encounter off would not make it easier.
A few minutes later, Clara sat down at the table, glancing toward the garden. “Are they courting, or can we expect fisticuffs?”
“I’m not quite sure.” Vivian pulled a face. “They appear to be doing both at the same time. She has struck him twice, but, as you see, he will not release her hands, and they are still talking.”
“Intelligent man.”
“I think you are right.” Truth be told, Vivian could not think of a better match for Silvia than Lord Beresford. “Lord Stanstead has come to call.”
“Off with you then.” Clara’s gaze seemed to be fixated on the young couple. “If one of them pulls a weapon, I shall intervene. Until then, I’ll leave them to sort it out on their own.”
Vivian leaned down, bussing her cousin on the cheek. “Good luck.”
“Mm-hm.” Clara shooed Vivian away with the wave of a hand. “Go tend to your gentleman.”
Vivian shook out her skirts and made her way to the hall.
The butler bowed. “He is in the front parlor, my lady.”
“Thank you, Barnes.” She opened the door and Rupert turned from the window. “You wished to see me?”
Grinning boyishly, he came forward. “I realize I did not make plans with you and for that I’d ask your forgiveness, but I would like to take you for a carriage ride.” He held out his hand to her. “Will you come?”
What was he up to? He’d seemed perfectly happy with Cleo’s company last night. There was no reason to have Vivian’s as well. Still, as she’d told herself only a few minutes ago, she had to learn to be around him during the day, and there was no time like the present. “It would be my pleasure, my lord.”
His fingers touched hers, and she sucked in a breath. This would not do at all. She had to get hold of herself. She pasted a polite smile on her face as he led her through the hall, then out to his phaeton. Knowing what would come next, she braced for the flood of sensations as he lifted her into the vehicle.
Oh, good God. This was far worse than before. His simple, innocent touch had her wishing for more. Rupert’s energy, his physical intensity, swamped her senses. Vivian wanted his lips on hers, and his hands caressing her.
Her mouth dried. How was she to survive this ride without betraying herself? She fidgeted alternately with her gloves, her skirts, and her bonnet ribbon, before being able to speak again. “What an unexpected pleasure.”
“I’m glad you think so. I hope you’ll enjoy yourself.” He slid a glance at her, then his attention was on his horses.
“I’m sure I shall. Where are we going?”
“Around the Park.” His lips curved into a smile. “Where else?”
“Surely it is not time for the Grand Strut?” She gasped for air. If she was not careful she would stop breathing. Never before had she thought that possible.
“We are a bit on the early side.” He looked at her again. “Something you said made me think you might like to take a drive when you are not fully on display.”
“I’m surprised you noticed. It’s true. I am not completely comfortable in situations that are purely social.” If he’d perceived that, what else had he discerned?
Keeping his eyes straight ahead as they maneuvered through the busy streets, Rupert responded, “You might be surprised what I pay attention to.” She couldn’t think of a response. After a few moments, he continued. “My lady, this is merely a carriage ride. I beg you enjoy it.”
She should, she would. “Yes, of course. I’m sorry. When you arrived I was chaperoning Miss Corbet and Lord Beresford. My mind was still on them.”
Rupert laughed so suddenly, Vivian jumped. “I understand now why you are so on edge. If I had to play that role, I believe I’d give them boxing gloves. A more fractious pair I have rarely come across.”
Her spine sagged with relief. “They are, indeed. Yet for all that, I do believe they care very much for each other, but are unable for some reason to express their feelings.”
“All I can tell you is that he has deep feelings for her.” Rupert spared Vivian a sidelong glance.
His horses were fresh and not the mild pair he’d had the other day.
“I thought as much. It is hard to tell with Miss Corbet. At times there is a softness in her eyes when she looks at him, but the minute he approaches her she becomes Boadicea.”
“The warrior queen?” He feathered a corner in the neatest fashion. Rupert was an exceptional whip. “I agree with your analogy. Miss Corbet is quite fierce.”
“She’s had to be, looking after her sisters and father as she did.”
“I did not know.” The corner of his lip turned up. “I’m sure Beresford has his work cut out for him.”
For some reason, even though she had made the comparison, she did not appreciate his humor. “And you find that amusing, my lord?”
Rupert gave her a steady look, his brow raised in a quizzical fashion. “I have had the opportunity to spend a great deal of time with Beresford lately. If I were a less cultured man, I’d say he is the closest thing to a barbarian I’ve ever seen, but I have met those who are true barbarians.”
She had yet to meet a more well-traveled, educated gentleman than Rupert, or one as manly. There was no doubt he would one day be a leader in the House of Lords. Other than his lamentable tendency to prefer Cleo over Vivian, she could find no fault with him at all. Though that was rather a large defect in his character. “In your travels?”
“Indeed. Years before he died, my grandfather Stanstead arranged for my Grand Tour. In addition to the more sedate parts of Europe, I traveled to the Levant and Constantinople. I was fortunate that the war ended when it did.”
“He must have cared for you a great deal.” She had been thinking lately about her own parents. When Vivian had complained to her mother about her husband, shortly after their marriage, Mama had told her there was nothing to be done but put up with it.
“His goal was to raise a man who could be trusted to care for the earldom.” Rupert’s tone was unusually severe, and the corners of his mouth, which usually held a smile, turned down.
“I too was molded into a being who would do as she was bid.” Such as marry Edgar and live unhappily until his death. No matter what fate threw at her now, Vivian was determined to be happy.
“I was fortunate that my mother had different ideas. She was the one who taught me to love life and those around me. Where my grandfather taught duty toward one’s dependents, she showed me that caring for them from my heart was the way to help them.” He blinked several times. Was he close to tears? Vivian had never seen a man so moved. “I’m sorry to bore you.”
“No.” Vivian had responded in the polite tone she’d been taught for years to use, but she wanted to shout it. “You should never feel that I am not interested.” Oh God, now what? “I am intrigued with your life. I mean to say, you seem to know so much for . . .”
“For my age?” Rupert replied, his tone as dry as the dirt on the path.
“Of course not.” He didn’t act like any of the young gentlemen she had ever met.
“I must apologize again.” This time his tone was even but distant. “It’s been a trying couple of days.”
As it had for her. “I’m sure whatever your concerns are, they will come out to the good.”
A coach ahead of them had stopped as two elderly ladies exchanged greetings.
He looked at her with an expression she could not decipher. “I pray you are right.”
Silvia glanced first at Vivian then at Nick. At the ball, he had said it wasn’t what she thought. Silvia didn’t believe him, but she supposed she should hear him out. Then she could send him on his way with a clear conscience, and they could both get on with their lives.
He placed her hand on his arm. “Where is the best place to go?”
“Near the wall.” She firmed her jaw. There was no point in allowing him to think she would forgive him. “That way, if you start yelling, no one will be able to hear you.”
Silvia could almost feel his teeth grind, but he didn’t say a word. When they reached the end of the path, she stopped and faced him. “What do you want to say?”
Nick took a large breath and blew it out. “Silvia, I made a terrible mistake.”
“I shall not disagree. There is nothing new in that.” She infused her voice with as much disdain as she could. As far as she was concerned, he’d spent his life making them.
His large form was suddenly hovering over her. “Only when it comes to you.”
What the deuce did he mean by that? She didn’t want to look at him, but she did. A crease marred his broad forehead, and for the first time since she was sixteen, he appeared unsure of himself. “What did you do now?”
“Not recently, although I suppose I could have behaved better and told Edgar to go to the devil.” Nick rubbed his hand down his face. “Four years ago, when I left, I should have told you the reason.”
Silvia bit the inside of her lip. She really did not want to hear this. “What reason could there have been but another woman?”
“What?” He jumped back from her. “Why the devil would you think that?”
“Could you please moderate your language?” He hadn’t been this bad before. “My father told me.”
“Why, that wily old . . .” He reached out to take her hands, and she whipped them behind her, taking a step back for good measure. The last time he’d touched her, she had ended up kissing him. That would definitely not occur again. Nick closed the gap between them. “Tell me exactly what he said.”
“Why do you want to know? Why do you even care?”
“Because the . . . he lied.”
To the best of her knowledge, her father had never told a falsehood, although he had prevaricated about his new wife. Fury shot from Nick’s eyes, but it did not seem to be directed at her. She had nothing to hide.
Why not tell him everything? “I saw one of the servants from the abbey, and she said the old earl had sent you away. I—I thought—You had made me believe you were in love with me, so I was going to find out where your unit was and follow you.” She blinked back the unwanted tears threatening to fall. “After all, you said you wanted to . . . well, never mind.”
“Marry you.”
Nick loomed over her, and Silvia tried to step back again but hit the hedge. “I went to the blacksmith’s because his son was in the same unit, and asked him. He was in the process of telling me when Papa came in with something that needed to be repaired. When we got back to the rectory, he told me about the woman, your woman.” She crossed her arms across her bosom and raised her chin. “What happened to her anyway?”
“Nothing.” He stared at the sky for a moment, then met her gaze. “There was never anyone else.” Nick’s lips formed a thin line. “I’m a blasted fool.”
Well, she wasn’t going to argue with him, and said with all the haughtiness she could muster, “You are just now making the discovery?”
“I should have known you wouldn’t make this easy.”
“Truly, I have not the slightest clue what you are talking about.” She moved to go around him, back into the house. The next thing she knew his arms were around her and he’d claimed her lips. For a moment she refused to kiss him, but God help her, she had missed him so much.
He growled and held her tighter, as if he would never let her go. She opened her lips, and he possessed her as he had done years ago. This kiss was even better than the last one. She felt herself melting into him, returning his caresses, running her fingers through his hair.
She could not allow this to continue.
Using all her will, she forced her head away. “No.”
He still held her, but touched his chin to the top of her head. “You don’t understand.”
“No,” she sobbed, unable to hide her hurt and heartbreak any longer. “You’re the one who does not appear to understand. You may not kiss me then walk out of my life. I could have been with child!”
“I don’t want to—” The pulse at his throat quickened. What had she said? Pregnant? “Silvia, did anyone else touch you?”
Nick heard the crack of Silvia’s palm against his cheek before the stinging set in.
“You are the only one.”
This didn’t make any sense. Not only that. No wonder she was so bloody angry with him all the time.
God Almighty! Pregnant!
She was turning to walk away, and he had to stop her. “I would never, never have left you if there had been even the slightest chance you could have been carrying my child.” She stopped and turned slowly to face him, tears streaming down her cheeks, but her gaze was militant. “Silvia, I loved you and I still do. I could never have abandoned you that way.” She stared at him as if he belonged in Bedlam. Maybe he did. “Please, tell me, why did you think you might be with child?”
Her eyes widened and her jaw dropped. “My mother told me if I kissed a man I could become pregnant. Did you think I was so innocent I didn’t know that?”
Bloody hell. She really believed it. If this weren’t so damn serious, he could have laughed. The problem was, how could he convince her he was telling the truth? His plan to pick off all her objections one by one wasn’t going to work. It was time to counterattack, while he tried to think of who he could trust to tell her how one got with child.
At this point, Silvia needed to know the truth. All of it. “Your father saw us kissing and asked me to leave. He even prevailed upon the old earl to help with the promotion I’d been wanting so that I could support you.”
“But—but . . .” For a moment she looked as if she’d swoon. Silvia never swooned.
“Here’s the bench.” He made sure she didn’t fall off the thing when she plopped down on it. “Your mother had been gone less than a year. Your sisters were young, and he depended on you to run the house and take care of them. At first I thought he was being selfish, but he convinced me I was the one thinking only of myself. That your sisters needed you more than I did. I was a fool to have left without at least speaking to you. To have trusted him. He told me he would explain everything to you, but was afraid that you would insist on going with me if I told you.” He caressed her cheek with his thumb. “I wanted to marry you then, Silvia. I was a fool not to have taken you to the closest place in Scotland I could find. Please marry me now.”
Her open palm connected with his face, and he jerked back. Only one other person had ever landed two blows on him; he could barely believe he’d let his guard down with her. For Christ’s sake, he should have expected it. “What was that for?”
“For being a dunderheaded, addlebrained, care-for-nobody . . .” Nick tugged her against him, covering her mouth with his, and for several searing moments she leaned against him, trembling.
He lifted his head, grinning down at her, and she scowled.
“Twiddle-poop.”
“Twiddle-poop?” He grinned more widely, holding her hands captive. Being slapped twice was enough.
She took a breath and swallowed. “Yes, and you are a ramshackle slibber-slabber,” she added, warming to her topic again. “If you—”
He placed his fingers against her lips. “I love you and I have for years.”
She tried to jerk her hands from his, but he held fast. “Do you think I am a complete fool? All you’ve been doing since you took the title is chase after Vivian. I will not be your consolation prize.”