Chapter Fifteen
What the hell had made him say it? His light, teasing reply had become anything of the sort.
She jerked out of his arms a moment later and turned to face him. Shock and a bit of disbelief flashed across her face.
“Get back up?” she repeated unsteadily. “I say that I might be falling in love with you, and you tell me to get back up?”
“Aye,” he said with a pathetic attempt at a smile. “It’s a play on the falling part, you see—”
“Oh, I get it, Aleck.” She wrapped her arms around her chest, looked at him for a moment and then turned away. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
A group of tourists passing by glanced their way and Aleck moved closer to her.
“Perhaps we should go back to the flat,” he said quietly. “Talk there.”
“Perhaps I should just go back to your cousin’s pub and get shitfaced. Because I’m not sure I can handle this conversation sober. I was an idiot to start it.”
He shook his head, trying to figure out how the hell to handle this. “You don’t need a drink, Lana.”
“I need something.” She moved away from him, walking down the stairs and off the castle walls.
She made her way back toward the entrance of the castle, moving so fast he had to nearly run to catch up with her.
“Lana.”
She didn’t even slow her pace. If anything she quickened it as she left the castle and made her way back down the Royal Mile.
“Stop. Delonna, stop.” He caught her arm and forcibly halted her on the cobbled street, turning her around to face him. “I fooked up.”
Anger flashed on her face now. “You really did.”
“I didn’t know how to reply.”
“Well, if you loved me, I’m guessing you would’ve said something like, ‘Hey, cool, me too.’ Or something along those lines. But because you told me to get my ass back up, that’s pretty much anti-being-in-love.”
He was a bloody bastart. He knew it. He shook his head, struggling for the words to explain.
“But even if it’s not love, and you’re not sure how to respond, you could’ve just kissed me and left it at that.” Her eyes flashed with fury now. “But you know what you don’t want to do? Tell the girl to get her ass back up when she says she’s falling in love with you.”
And she was yelling now. Drawing attention from tourists on the streets, but he couldn’t really blame her.
She turned again and moved quickly back down the street, clearly familiar with the way back to the flat. He made no attempt to stop her now, knowing the best way to see this out was to simply talk at the flat. Though who the fook knew what he was even going to say.
By the time he reached the building, she was facing away from him waiting for him to unlock the door. Once he did she moved inside and up the stairs to their floor. The process was repeated until they reached the flat and had closed the door behind them.
“Can we talk now?”
“I think talking may be the problem.” She gave a harsh laugh. “Evidently I should’ve just kept my mouth shut.”
“You know I don’t do relationships, Lana,” he said tersely, a bit desperately. They shouldn’t be in this situation. She’d known going in who he was. “For fook’s sake, you’re twenty-four. I figured shagging you was harmless. You shouldn’t be searching for love right now, you should be havin’ fun.”
She flinched, and he saw some color leach from her face. But her fighting spirit didn’t diminish a bit.
“Since you’re so quick to generalize about me, hey, you’re what, thirty-four? Why aren’t you looking for love?”
He was thirty-five. His jaw clenched and he shook his head. “Love is hard. Lust is easy.”
“Really. Is that the mantra you chant in your head all day long?”
Aye, actually it was.
“And that’s all this is. Lust?” she continued. “So then what was that whole you’re mine business last night then? When you got so ridiculously possessive in bed?”
Christ. He’d hoped she’d forgotten that. Or maybe had been too swept up in passion to remember. Even though the memory of it had stayed in his head, disturbingly clear, all day.
“The alcohol from last night maybe,” he muttered.
“No. I was the buzzed one—you were sober.” She folded her arms across her chest and waited for him to reply.
“Look,” he said carefully, “we all say things we don’t mean in the heat of sex.”
She didn’t even flinch now. “So you didn’t mean it. Any of it.”
His heart stuttered as he tried to respond. His tongue grew thick in his mouth.
Tell her you didn’t mean it.
“So you’re saying, hypothetically—” she shrugged “—that you would be totally okay if I walked out of this flat and found some other guy to go home with tonight?”
No he sure as fook wouldn’t be okay with that. Just imagining it made his blood pressure spike. And the realization it was spiking confused the hell out of him. He shouldn’t be angry over that. He didn’t want more than a casual fling. He never cared if a woman wanted to see someone else. But the idea of Delonna going off to find another bloke did not sit well.
“The truth, Aleck.”
“The truth…” As if it were that simple. “The truth is… no. And I realize I’m an arse for saying it, but I wouldn’t be okay with you finding some other bloke tonight. I’d be jealous.” He paused. “And, aye, I realize I’ve no right to that jealousy.”
“No right whatsoever,” she agreed in a low trembling voice. She turned away and strode down the hallway of the flat.
“Lana…”
“I want to be alone. I’m going to take a bath and hopefully, when I get done, you’ll have gone out somewhere.”
He closed his eyes and his lips twisted into a bitter grimace. “If that’s what you’d like, then I can leave you for a bit.”
She didn’t reply and a moment later the door closed behind her. The bathwater turned on and he knew this conversation was done.
How had things gone to such complete shite? How had he not realized she was getting attached?
Ah, fook everything.
He grabbed his coat and left the flat.
*
Delonna sat on the edge of the toilet watching the bathwater run, but making no attempt to get into the tub.
She heard the click of the apartment door opening and then closing a moment later. He’d left her, just as she’d basically ordered him to.
Tears burned her eyes and she scrubbed at them, hating herself for being brought to this state. And as much as she wanted to hate him, hate his reaction, she was angrier with herself.
He was right. She’d known he didn’t do relationships. Had known exactly what she’d gotten herself into by going to bed with her player boss.
How was this even possible? Could she just be confused? She’d just gotten out of a long-term relationship. Granted, a shitty one that she’d never really felt anything but lust in. She could acknowledge that now.
Then there was Aleck. The boss and friend she’d been flirting with for years, and what, after finally sleeping with each other for a week or so, she was falling in love with him?
Maybe it wasn’t love. Maybe it was the enchantment of Edinburgh. The hazy vacation filter that made everything more romantic. What she did know was Aleck was the first guy she’d ever said the “L” word to.
After stripping off her clothes, she climbed into the bath and tried to wash away the misery that cloaked her.
“Aleck? Really, Delonna,” she whispered to herself. “You should’ve known better.”
And the more she thought about it, the more she started to realize that maybe she’d ambushed him with this love thing. It was too soon to put that kind of weight on someone.
Her unhappiness mingled now with embarrassment. She should’ve kept her mouth shut up there at the castle. Should’ve taken time to analyze the emotions in her heart before throwing them out there in what probably had felt like a verbal assault.
There was no denying he’d handled it horribly, but in a way, she couldn’t blame him. Aleck didn’t do permanent. Kenzie had warned her. She’d seen the evidence herself. And, what, she’d thought she’d change him? Stupid.
And now here they were stuck together for the rest of the week in a flat in Scotland.
Awkward times a billion…
*
When she came out of the bathroom an hour later, the flat was quiet and it became clear that Aleck hadn’t come back.
They needed to talk. To smooth over the mess she’d made of things this afternoon. If they were going to get through this week together, then she’d just tell him she’d been caught up in the moment.
A stab of guilt hit as she thought about Aleck’s parents. They hadn’t checked in with them since this morning. Maybe she should go stop by. And maybe, hopefully, Aleck was down there with them now.
She threw on a long sweater over leggings, slipped on flats and then left the apartment to go check on his parents.
After a quick knock on their door, it opened a moment later.
Brenda smiled, her face lighting up. “Hello, dear. You’ve not brought Aleck?”
So he wasn’t here. Her heart sank. “No, um, he’s out running around town. Probably needed a break from me.”
There was far too much truth in that statement, which she’d meant to be a joke. But Brenda’s eyes took on a knowing, almost weary look, and she gave a slow nod.
“Sometimes they do, luv. Come in.” She stepped back and gestured for Delonna to come into the flat. “We could have some tea. Rodrick is taking a nap. Those pain pills can put him straight to sleep some days.”
Soon they were sipping tea in the living room, chatting about harmless things, but fortunately no probing on whether Delonna and her son were in a relationship.
“Here, I’ve an album from when my kids were just wee things. A moment.” Brenda disappeared and returned a moment later with the album, setting it on Delonna’s lap.
Delonna flipped through it slowly, laughing and smiling at the pictures of the McLaughlin siblings as children. Kenzie’s hair was bright and red, her eyes so green. Even at seven she was surrounded by boys in photos.
The twins, Ian and Colin, were always together in the pics and getting into all kinds of mischief. But Aleck was the most fascinating to her. So stoic in some of the photos, he always just seemed to be observing. Watching.
“Was he as serious of a kid as he looks in these pictures?” Delonna asked.
“He played hard and had his fun, but he was quite protective of his younger siblings and tended to watch for trouble rather than play often.”
“He still is rather protective,” she murmured, flipping the page and spotting a picture of Aleck in his element. “He played soccer?”
“It’s referred to as football here, dear.”
“Oh right.”
Brenda grinned. “Took me a bit of getting used to as well.”
Delonna glanced at the older woman. “Kenzie told me how you and your husband met while you were backpacking. It’s very sweet. Do you prefer living in Scotland?”
Pursing her lips, Brenda seemed to give it a moment of speculation. “I love parts of both countries. Whidbey was gorgeous and quite a nice pace of life. But I fell in love with Scotland, even before I met Rodrick. I consider Edinburgh my true home—where my heart is—now.”
“I can see why you would. What I saw today was gorgeous.”
“I’m glad you find it lovely as well.” Brenda gave her a considering look. “My son is quite taken with you.”
Embarrassment stole through her and Delonna gave a small shake of her head. Taken by lust maybe.
“You disagree?” his mother asked lightly.
How did you discuss this with the mother of the man you were sleeping with? You couldn’t say you’d fallen in love with her son, but he didn’t return the feelings. You couldn’t even say that you were just screwing around.
“We have a complicated relationship,” Delonna finally admitted carefully. “But the important thing is we’re good friends.”
“That is absolutely important. But I know my son.” Understanding shone in the other woman’s eyes now. “And if he has any sense left in him, he won’t let you go.”
Not quite sure what to say to that, Delonna just bit her lip and looked away.
“I apologize if that makes you a bit uncomfortable,” Brenda added quietly. “I’m afraid I tend to say whatever is on me mind.”
“You passed that trait on to at least a couple of your children, and I’m used to it.” Delonna smiled and stood up. “Thank you for the tea, but I should probably get back to the flat in case Aleck is looking for me.”
“Of course. Thank you for dropping by to check on us.”
“I enjoyed our chat. Is there anything we can bring you tonight? Or how about breakfast tomorrow?”
“Come for breakfast. I’ll prepare something for us all.”
“Are you sure? We could bring something—”
“No need, I’ve plenty of food. But one moment, dear.” Brenda disappeared down the hall and returned with a worn-looking shoebox. “These are just some of Aleck’s old things, pictures and such, from years ago. Maybe you could help him sort through it and find what he really needs to hold on to, and what he doesn’t?”
Now that seemed a bit of an odd request, but Delonna took the box and nodded. “I’ll give it to him when he returns. See you in the morning, Brenda.”
“Have a good night, dear.”
Back in the flat upstairs, she realized Aleck still wasn’t back. Her heart sank, and she wished they’d both set up their cell phones for international use. But they hadn’t and she had no idea where he was. So she’d wait.
She set the shoebox on the kitchen table and stared down at it. Curiosity got the better of her, and she lifted the lid off, expecting to find a box full of pictures.
Brenda must’ve given her the wrong box, was Delonna’s first reaction. There were some pictures, yes, but more so there were items. Weird, eclectic, not really masculine things.
A charm bracelet. Handwritten notes that had lipstick marks on them. She found a picture in a frayed paper-type frame and pulled it from the box. Some sort of school dance photo with a guy and a girl.
It was Aleck as a teenager, and he had some epically bad hair. The girl in his arms was a pretty brunette with big blue eyes. This must’ve been the teenage romance Kenzie had mentioned.
The door to the flat clicked open and she jumped back guiltily from the box.
Aleck stepped inside, his wary gaze seeking her out. “I tried to give you some time,” he said cautiously. “I know it might not—What’s this?”
She followed his gaze to the box and the guilt inside her multiplied.
“Your mom gave it to me to give to you. I shouldn’t have opened it, but she suggested I help you go through it. I know it’s none of my business.” She was rambling. “I’m sorry.”
He came closer and stared down at it. His face seemed to lose some color and his mouth tightened.
“I swore I’d thrown this box away.” He reached out to touch the school dance picture that now sat on top. “Me ma must’ve found it and retrieved it from the garbage.”
Delonna frowned, glancing back at the box. She started putting together the puzzle pieces in her head.
“Was she your girlfriend before you moved to America?”
“Aye.” He smoothed his thumb over her face in the picture.
“You loved her, but it didn’t end well?” she guessed. “You guys had some big fight and broke up, and then you moved to another country with your family?”
“You’re right on most accounts, save for one part.” His lips twisted into a bitter smile. “We didn’t have a fight and break up.”
“You didn’t?”
“No. We’d probably be married right now…” He paused. “That is if Cassie hadn’t gotten herself killed.”