It had started when Sander removed the ball cap.

A flash of something blitzed through Elias’s mind, too fast to hold onto.

He sought desperately to retrieve it.

Sander.

The cap.

A whisk of the cap off his head.

Think, think, think.

Elias could not join in the celebration of Sander’s return, not while his head ached with almost memories. He felt discombobulated, dizzy. Confused.

He was in a parlor in Kallaster Castle and these people were his family and friends.

A flash of Emily’s features brought another strike.

Dark hair, a thick brush. Long strokes. Laughter. Teasing.

The way Chey stared adoringly up at Sander as they embraced triggered the sensation again.

Lights, music, banter. Chey staring at Sander with love in her eyes.

While the others traded information, Elias hovered on the cusp of enlightenment. It seemed as if all he had to do was open a door and let the memories in.

He was afraid to move, afraid to breathe, lest he break the spell.

How desperately he wanted to remember.

He needed to find himself again.

Just open the door.

Elias closed his eyes and imagined himself opening a proverbial door. He waited for a rush of memories, of feeling the old Elias return.

Nothing.

The murky gray nothingness would not coalesce into reality.

He made eye contact with Sander across the room.

“Everything all right?” Sander asked.

Elias felt every gaze turn his way. His frustration and desperation peaked.

“Actually, no. Everything is not all right. I’m glad you’re well, Sander, but if you’ll all excuse me.” He hit the hallway without looking back, and briskly navigated the corridors until he emerged into a grotto. Elias realized belatedly that he’d walked there as if by design or muscle memory. The grotto itself was not familiar—or was it?

Lunch. Sander. Ball cap.

Images flickered too fast through Elias’s mind. He could not wholly capture what he was seeing. He paced past an iron table and four chairs, past the carved stone wall. Someone had put a pond at the end of the terrace.

White and gold fish.

Koi swam beneath the surface of the water—one was as large as his forearm.

White and gold with fanlike fins.

Elias crouched at the edge of the pond.

That had been a memory, he was sure of it.

A memory of the fish. He hadn’t been out here before, so it couldn’t be anything else.

He struggled to bridge the gap between injured Elias and old Elias.

The sensation of standing on a precipice, about to fall into space, persisted.

“I’m glad to see you up and around,” Inari said from the doorway.

Elias straightened and turned toward her voice. She had changed from the last time he’d seen her into cream linen slacks and a thin powder blue sweater. Her eyes showed no signs of judgment that he hadn’t sought her out before.

Something about the calm, collected way she watched him from the other side of the grotto sent yet another wave of déjà vu through him.

Ballroom. Glass. Dancing.

He didn’t know what it meant, yet it felt familiar. She felt familiar.

“Are you all right, Elias?” Inari asked.

He realized he hadn’t answered. Sweat trickled from his brow down his cheek. The effort of trying to force memories had put a throb behind his eyes that spread slowly through his head. He hadn’t suffered a blinding headache recently, but he knew one was on the way.

“Thank you. I’m fine. I’m just . . .” He gestured toward the grotto with his good hand, as if that might answer all her questions. Elias did not want to admit yet that he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough.

“Oh. I see.” Inari smiled as if she knew exactly what he meant. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

“Inari.” He paused when she looked back from the threshold, unsure how to phrase what he wanted to say. Finally, he untangled the words on his tongue. “Thanks for being patient. Are you staying at Kallaster?”

“You’re welcome,” she replied quietly, without censure. “And yes, I am. I’ve canceled all my appointments so that I can be here if or when you need me.”

“I’ll find you later,” he said.

She drifted from the grotto, disappearing into the halls of the castle.

Elias turned back to the pond, willing the sense of familiarity to return. He waited for a memory to surface, for that feeling of standing on a precipice to overwhelm him. After five minutes of nothing, frustrated at the finicky nature of his brain, he departed the grotto.

The echoes of his past had vanished.