chapter 3
RILEY
“WHY ARE LAWYERS SO expensive?” I complain to my mom, covering my face with my hands. I really need Riley’s to earn more money, because I have no idea how I’m going to cover all these fees. I need to do this on my own, especially since I don’t want any of Jeremy’s money in this divorce. The only person I can count on is me. “Why is divorce so expensive? I put all my money into the pub, and now I’m going to have to come up with more just to get out of this shitty marriage. Aren’t I entitled to make a mistake or two without having to literally pay for it? They should put me in a class to teach me better decision-making skills instead.”
To be fair, I was twenty-two when I married my soon-to-be ex and was not in a good place. Much too young to be making any type of rational decisions.
And this isn’t even the worst mistake I’ve made, not by a long shot. My fingers absently find the black bracelet on my left hand and hold on to it.
“Told you not to marry him,” my dad calls out from the couch, where he’s watching a basketball game.
“Thanks for the reminder, Dad,” I say dryly, leaning back on the wooden dining room chair and studying my mother. We look nothing alike. She has short, light hair, while mine is long and dark, and her eyes are green to my hazel. “You liked Jeremy at the start, didn’t you, Mom?”
She cringes and then shrugs. “He was okay, I guess. You loved him, so that’s all that mattered to me, that you were happy.”
My mom never once admitted to not liking Jeremy, but I could tell she wasn’t over the moon about him either. I just assumed it was because she thought getting married so young wasn’t a good idea, which it wasn’t, but still. I was in love, and I was happy at the time, and I wasn’t really thinking of the future.
When I met Jeremy at a bar, he was cute and kind of shy, and I liked that. He was a little on the geeky side, and not my usual type, but something about him drew me in, and we started dating. I wasn’t in a good place, I was lost, and looking for escape from everything that was going on back then, and he helped bring me out of it. He had his shit together, and he was a good influence when I needed it. He was so different from the men I’d started hanging around, and the crowd that was slowly becoming my own worst nightmare. He occupied my time, away from the bad influences, and instead we got lost in our own bubble. Everything was a blur of I-love-yous and moving in together, followed by a quick proposal. I don’t know why we rushed everything. It felt right at the time, I guess, and I couldn’t have known how things would turn out.
I just need to take it as a lesson, learn from it, and move on.
“I was happy once, wasn’t I?” I say more to myself than my mom as I glance down at where my wedding ring used to be. The first few years were good. I remember being happy, and the two of us having a lot of good times together. We’d take long road trips, just enjoying being around each other, but as the years passed, things between us changed. I guess we both grew into different people.
I wanted to become more independent and follow my own dreams, and he just grew into a giant dick. He didn’t want me to pursue my passions. He thought opening the pub was a bad idea. He told me I wouldn’t make any money from it, and that it’d be a waste of my inheritance. He started making lots of money from his job as a real estate agent, selling high-priced homes, and the money became all he cared about. He grew up in a blue-collar family and always wanted the finer things in life. So as soon as he got a taste of what life on the other side was, he changed. Suddenly, I didn’t fit into his new world—I wasn’t flashy enough. I grew up in the country, and I’m not really into designer brands, nor did I know what he was talking about when he’d rave about them. I’m not materialistic, and I guess I just didn’t understand him anymore, or vice versa. He never was abusive or mean; he just started to ignore me, like I wasn’t even there. Our priorities changed, and so did our wants. We changed so much that we didn’t seem to know each other anymore. We tried for a few years to make it work, but after I opened Riley’s, I knew we couldn’t go back to how it used to be.
I never thought things would turn out so ugly between us though. It was sort of amicable at the start. We knew we were both unhappy, and it was a mutual decision. However, things started to change when he started looking at our finances. I think he thought I wanted half of everything because he turned nasty, saying he’d make sure I wouldn’t get a dime. The strange thing is that if he would’ve actually listened to me when I told him what I really wanted, we wouldn’t have to be dealing with lawyers. We’d probably be divorced already. He let his newfound greed cloud his judgment.
I don’t want any of his money. He can keep the big house he bought; it doesn’t suit me anyway. I’m more than happy in my rental apartment. The only thing I do want is our dog, my dog, Bear. Jeremy knows this, and is refusing to give him to me out of spite. I love Bear, and just because Jeremy bought him for me for my birthday four years ago doesn’t mean he belongs to him.
My lawyer, however, has other ideas, and thinks we should fight for a settlement amount. The independent woman in me disagrees. I want to leave the marriage as I came into it, with nothing but my determination.
“Was being the key word,” my mom says, setting a mug of hot chocolate in front of me. “Now you need to concentrate on you, Riley. Find what makes you happy; maybe go do some traveling.”
“The pub—”
“Will survive without you for a week or so.” She cuts me off, pursing her lips.
“After paying for my lawyer, traveling is the last thing I’m going to be able to afford,” I grumble. Riley’s is making a little bit of profit, but not much at the moment. I need to get more regular customers, especially on the weekends. It’s not at the place I want it to be just yet.
“You’ll get there, Ri,” she assures me, watching as I take a sip of the chocolaty goodness. “You’ll be fine. You’re always fine. And I told you, if you really need money we can help you out.”
I love that they offered, but I know they can’t afford it, and I’d never put them in that position.
“Thanks, Mom, but you know I can’t accept that. I need to work this out on my own. I’m not asking for help, I’m just venting about everything and feeling sorry for myself.”
To two of the only people I’d allow myself to be honest and vulnerable with.
“Sympathy isn’t going to help you,” she replies with a frown on her face.
I sigh. “I know, but it might make me feel better.”
“You’re still young, sweetie,” she says, tilting her head to the side and flashing me a smile. “There’s no reason to be sad. Just start over. Your pub will thrive. And when you’re ready, you’ll meet someone new.”
If only things were that simple.