Liz padded down the hall toward Shane and Lauren’s bedroom, leaving Ben and Dorian alone in the living room. She knocked softly before pushing the door open.
Shane and Lauren sat cuddled together on the bed, his head resting on her shoulder. They both looked up when she entered, and Liz knew immediately that big, tough Shane had been crying.
“I’m so sorry, Shane,” she whispered after shutting the door tightly behind her.
“I am, too,” he said with a scratchy voice, worn with anguish. “I just can’t condone what he did.”
Liz nodded. She knew Shane’s reaction had nothing to do with her, but it still hurt.
Seeming to sense this, Lauren said, “But we’re happy to have you in our lives, Liz. Or would you rather we call you Janie now?”
She hadn’t had time to think since discovering her name belonged to someone else. Though the real Liz had only lived for an hour, it still felt disrespectful to continue using the name now she knew it wasn’t hers. “I don’t know yet,” she said. “I don’t know which is really me.”
“Go find the answers,” Shane said, surprising them.
Both she and Lauren pivoted their gazes toward Shane. Lauren wore a quizzical expression, but Liz understood.
“I will,” she promised. “That’s what I wanted to talk to you about. Will you watch the dogs for the rest of the week? I need some time by myself to figure out what I’m feeling and who I am.”
“Of course,” Lauren answered. “But please be careful. I know it feels like you’ve lost yourself, but there are so many people who love you. Us included.”
“Yes, both of us,” Shane agreed with a sad smile. “Just because I don’t agree with what Ben did doesn’t mean I wish things were different.”
Liz hugged them both, then returned to the living room and said her goodbyes to the men and dogs there.
“I’m leaving,” she announced. “I need some time by myself to take this all in.” Her throat clenched on the words she wouldn’t say. She needed time to herself, but mostly she needed to find Warwick—Bingham—in order to complete the puzzle.
Her father rose to a standing position and waited awkwardly without reaching in for a hug. “I understand, Lizzy. I won’t bother you while you’re sorting everything out, but please call me the moment you need anything or if you want to talk more. I am here for you in whatever way you need it. Always have been. Always will be.” He smiled weakly, and she could tell this particular goodbye hurt him deeply.
“No matter what I decide, I will still love you. One bad deed doesn’t erase the past twenty-eight years. It doesn’t erase what we have.” She gave him a quick hug, then turned to Dorian. “Thank you for being there for me today. It would have been much harder without you.”
Dorian nodded and simply said, “Bye, Liz.”
She grabbed her luggage from the guest room and wheeled it back out to her car. Why did these goodbyes feel so final? Would she really be another person when she saw them again? Would a different Liz be there for the next hello? Or would there be no more hellos? She didn’t know, couldn’t think about that now.
It was time for her journey back to the city, back into her past. With a quick glance behind her, she put her vehicle in reverse.
The passenger door opened unexpectedly, letting in a rush of cool air. She pressed her foot down onto the brake and whipped around to see Dorian sitting beside her. “What are you doing?” she demanded with a tired sigh.
Dorian wagged a finger at her, reminding her of the cocky young man she had first met at the wedding reception. “The question is what are you doing? And you don’t need to answer, because I already know. You’re going to find him.”
“Who?” She rolled her eyes at him, returning to the version of herself she’d worn on that night, too.
“Don’t play innocent with me. You know exactly who.”
She sighed again. It seemed Dorian was always one step ahead of her, whether or not she liked it. “You can’t stop me.”
“I hadn’t planned on trying.” His smile made her sick. Why couldn’t he go back to the sweet, supportive Dorian she’d just left in the cabin? Did he have more than one person living inside him, too?
She placed the car back into park and took her foot off the brake so that she could shift her body toward his. “Then what are you doing here, Dorian?”
He shook his head as if the answer should have been apparent. “You already know going after this guy could be dangerous, so I won’t tell you not to. I understand why you feel like you have to find him to find yourself.”
“Okay, great. Now will you please just let me go?”
He reached for her hands and pulled her closer to him. His eyes trapped her in an intense gaze. “You’ll find him faster if you let me come with you.”
“Are you offering your help?”
He winked and let go of both of her hands. “And my protection. I thought that was obvious.”
“And if I refuse?” Would this quest be easier with a partner? And would he even take no for an answer if she tried to give it?
“You won’t,” he said smugly. “You need me just as much as I’ve come to need you.”
“That’s a pretty bold statement.” She leaned back in her seat and glanced toward the ceiling before shifting back to Dorian.
“Let’s put it in italics, too. Underline it, even.” Dorian smiled as he waited for her to catch his joke, then they both burst out laughing.
“Fine,” she answered once they had sobered. “But we drive separately.”
“Naturally.” He grabbed her hand again and pressed a kiss onto the palm, then closed her fingers over it. “For safekeeping. And in case you miss me during the long, lonely drive.”
Liz shooed him off, but felt all her blood flow to the place where his lips had grazed her skin.
It doesn’t mean anything, she told herself. It’s not a good time.
As she watched Dorian depart, Liz couldn’t help but reflect on just how true his words had been. She did need him. Her one constant in this crazily spinning world had been his support for her journey—even before she knew she’d had it.
Perhaps his silly little kiss could be her good luck charm for whatever came next.