It’s been three days since I’ve seen Connor. Four thousand three hundred and twenty seconds, to be exact, and every single one of those I’ve been thinking about him. Since that night, he’s left me seven voicemails and fifteen texts, begging me to talk to him, and he’s stopped by the house twice. I know I’m a coward, but I just couldn’t. One look in that man’s eyes and I would’ve caved.
I keep telling myself it isn’t a big deal that his best friend is a woman. Except it is a big deal. Being second best in someone’s life isn’t something I’m willing to do—not again, at least.
“Are you going to turn the TV on, or just stare at the blank screen all night?” Casey asks, walking into the living room. She falls onto the couch next to me and nudges me with her elbow.
“I kind of like the blank screen.”
“Sure ya do.” She glances down at her watch, a knowing look on her face when her eyes meet mine. “It’s almost four.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I do my best to appear unaffected. “So?”
“Sooooo,” she says. “Connor stopped by yesterday at four, and the day before that at four. I bet today won’t be any different.”
“Yes, well, we’re over. He needs to move on. It’s not like we were together long.” I laugh out loud at myself for saying that. I felt more with him in those few short days than I did after years with Tyson. That should mean something, and if I wasn’t being so stubborn, it probably would.
“You need to talk to him.” Leave it to my little sister to try and put me in my place. “Have you at least returned any of his texts or phone calls?” I shake my head and she rolls her eyes. “You’re being a little bitch.”
I rear back as though she just slapped me across the face. “Whose side are you on?”
“Yours,” she says. “Always yours. But even if I’m on your side, it doesn’t mean I think you’re making the right decision.”
“He had a half-naked woman in his house,” I yell, hoping it finally sinks into her brain. “A half-naked woman who just so happens to be his best friend. Does this not sound familiar to you? Do you remember the hell Tyson put me through?”
“Of course I do,” she says, understanding flashing in her eyes. “But Connor isn’t Tyson.”
“Tell that to my brain.”
“See, that’s the problem. You need to quit thinking about this with your head and start thinking about it with this big, fat muscle right here,” she says, poking me in the chest. “You are a doctor, right? You know which muscle I’m talking about.”
“Yes,” I say, slapping her hand away. “I know which muscle you’re talking about. But Case…I’m not sure I could survive another broken heart.”
“Well”—she pushes up from the couch, then puts her hands on her hips—“the mopey-ass look on your face tells me you’re already surviving one.”
“My heart isn’t breaking,” I say, giving her a tremulous smile. My eyes well with tears and a few slip past my lashes. Because even as I say it, I know it isn’t true. Connor and I may not have been together for very long, but I really did see a future together. “I wasn’t in love with Connor.”
“You don’t have to be in love for your heart to break.” Casey brushes a tear from my face and then walks away.
I’m not sure how long I sit and stare off into space, but I’m startled when a loud knock sounds at the door.
Come on, Connor. You’re only making this harder on both of us.
Several seconds pass, and right when I think he gave up, another knock sounds. Maybe it’s best to just get this over with now, although I feel like I’ve said all I needed to say. Pushing up from the couch, I open the door and come face-to-face with… “Logan.”
“Hey.” She waves awkwardly. “Can I come in for a second?”
“Sure.” Stepping aside, I open the door wide. She walks in and follows me to the living room. Her eyes drift around my duplex. My gaze follows hers, and I realize that she must think it’s odd that the place is completely bare.
“I just moved in.” Scratching the top of my head, I try to come up with something to say, something to fill this awkward silence. I’ve got nothing.
“I know.” Logan brings her gaze back to me. “Connor told me.”
My skin prickles at the mention of his name. “Right. Connor.” Sucking my bottom lip in between my teeth, I nod.
“Connor’s crazy about you.”
Hold up. What did she say? I expected her to come over here and yell at me, maybe try and start some sort of catfight, but I didn’t expect her to say that. Something on my face must clue her in to my confusion because she chuckles.
“It’s true.” I stare at her, trying to figure out how to respond. “Mind if I sit?” she asks.
“Please, have a seat.”
She sits on the couch, scooting toward the edge, but I stay standing. Logan’s shoulders droop. Her eyes fall to something in front of her, and for a brief second it’s as though she’s reliving some sort of memory. When she looks back up, her eyes are full of understanding. “I heard what you said to Logan. Eavesdropping isn’t typically my thing, but what can I say?” she says, shrugging. “I’m a woman.”
A bubble of laughter crawls up my throat and she visibly relaxes at the sound. “It’s okay. I have a sister. A nosy-ass sister. I understand.”
“I’m sorry that happened to you,” she says, once again catching me off guard. “I can’t imagine how difficult that must’ve been. I won’t pretend to understand what it felt like, because I’ve never been in love. But I do know what it’s like to come second to someone else.”
She’s offering me an olive branch. I’m not one to look a gift horse in the mouth, so I take it. “You do?”
“Unfortunately.” Logan wraps a strand of hair around her fingers, twirling it. “My dad chose his girlfriend over me. It’s not something I like to think about, but I want you to know that I understand and I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone,” she says, looking up at me. “Did Connor tell you how we met?” she asks.
“Foster care.”
“Yup. My dad neglected me and I was eventually taken away from him. I bounced around several horrible foster homes, but the day of my last move was the luckiest day of my life.”
“It was?” I ask, curious. Why on earth would moving into a new foster home be the best day of someone’s life?
“It was. Because that’s the day I met my brother.” I didn’t miss that Logan emphasized the word brother. “Connor and I might not share the same blood, but he is my family in every sense of the word. Do I love Connor? Yes, but not the way you’re afraid of. And trust me, I understand why you’d be afraid.”
“You do?”
“Yes. I don’t necessarily agree with it—which is why I’m here—but I understand. Putting yourself out there like that, in the same situation you were in before? That would be terrifying. I’m not sure I could do it, so I wouldn’t expect you to.”
“But you just said you don’t agree with me,” I say, my brows dipping low.
“Yeah, well, that’s the other thing I wanted to tell you. Coming in second sucks. I don’t want to go through something like that again, just like you don’t want to. But I’d gladly come in second to you.”
“What?” I drop down onto the couch.
“I love Connor,” she states firmly. “Nothing and no one is ever going to change that—not even you. But I’m not in love with him. Never have been, never will be. And the thing is, I realize Connor isn’t my dad. He may put you first, which he should, but he wouldn’t forget about me. He won’t treat me the way my dad did. And he wouldn’t treat you the way Tyson did.”
My lips press together in a frown. “I don’t know, Logan.” Bringing my hand to my mouth, I pull at my lip, my mind digesting everything she just said.
“Do you want to know why I’d gladly take second place to you?” she asks hopefully. I nod. “Because you make him happy. You’re so different than any girl he’s been with, and trust me, I’ve been there for all of them. He smiles every time he says your name, even after you left him.”
My eyes burn, tears pushing against the confines of my lashes. Logan didn’t have to come over here and tell me all of this, but she did because she wants her best friend to be happy. And apparently, she realizes the person who makes him happy is me. The old Brit would’ve likely found a way to discredit everything she’s saying, but the new Brit wants desperately to believe it. Because the new Brit can’t say Connor’s name without smiling, too.
A small grin tugs at the corner of my mouth. Maybe my heart was right to take a chance on Connor. Maybe it learned its lesson the first time and recognizes Connor for who he is—the type of man to love me the way I deserve to be loved.
“I hope that smile means something good,” Logan says, her eyes bright with hope.
Regret quickly overshadows my moment of happiness as I recall the way I so easily dismissed Connor. What if doesn’t forgive me? What if he thinks I’m batshit crazy? What if I threw away my one chance at real happiness?
“No,” Logan snaps, catching my attention. “Your smile is fading. Why in the world is your smile fading?”
“What if I already ruined everything? It wasn’t like we were together long. What if he’s decided I’m a flight risk?”
“Girl…” Logan clucks her tongue. She stands up and I follow suit. “We’re all flight risks. It’s what makes us human. And guess what?”
“What?”
“Humans make mistakes, and the really awesome humans—like Connor—forgive those mistakes.”
“Did he tell you he’d forgive me?”
“Hell no,” she scoffs. “And trust me, I’ve tried to talk to him about it, but all I’ve gotten are grunts and nods. You know, the typical male bullshit. That’s the other reason I knew you were in his life for good.” I cock a brow, urging her to continue, and she rolls her eyes. “Connor tells me everything about everything…except when it comes to you.”
Wow. That’s surprising, especially if they’re best friends. Tyson used to tell Harley everything. It was one of the things that pissed me off the most. Maybe appearances aren’t the only way that Connor and Tyson are different.
“I’ve spent the last three days begging him to give me the nitty-gritty details, but the brute won’t budge. His lips are sealed because you’re important to him. And if you’re important to him, you’re important to me.”
Logan barely gets the last word out before I yank her into my arms. At first she doesn’t hug me back, but that’s okay; I don’t take offense to it. I just keep squeezing until she finally does. It starts with a pat on my back and then her grip on me tightens.
“Maybe we can both come first,” I say, wanting so badly to be Logan’s friend.
“Nah,” she says. “You should come first. That’s how it should be. Plus, I’m moving to Tennessee.”
Gripping her shoulders, I pull back until we’re eye to eye. “You’re moving to Tennessee?”
“Yep. Connor didn’t tell you?”
I shake my head. “But I didn’t exactly give him the chance.”
“Well, I am, and I need someone here to look after my brother. I need to know he’s taken care of. And I could really use someone that’s willing to help me out when I bring a cowboy back home with me.”
Furrowing my brows, I try to picture Connor meeting Logan’s cowboy boyfriend. Connor in his Chucks, long hair, beard, and colorful tattoos, versus a Stetson-wearing cowboy. That could be really interesting. “I promise to run interference,” I say.
“See?” she says, nudging my shoulder. “This is going to work out perfectly.” Logan’s eyes soften. “Who knows, maybe I’ll get a sister out of it.” She tried to sound flippant, but I could see past her façade.
“I think that sounds fantastic.”
Logan’s face lights up, and for several seconds we both just stare at each other.
“Well, I better get going,” she says, nodding toward the door.
“Are you going to Connor’s?” I ask.
“No,” she says, winking at me. “You are.”