Nineteen
Zach took in Pen on the balcony, observing her as he had when he’d first laid eyes on her. A white lace dress hugged every inch of her, from exquisite breasts to shapely hips. The graceful line of her neck led to pale blue eyes that could stop a man dead in his tracks—and full lips that had stopped his heart for at least one beat on several occasions.
Now, knowing her the way he did, he still appreciated her physical attributes, but what he mostly saw was beauty. Beauty in a dress that showed off what women at the party kept referring to as her “baby bump.” Beauty, decadently outlined in white lace, snatching away first place from the breathtaking sunset behind her.
Beauty that was all woman.
That was all his.
Was. That word punched him in the solar plexus so hard, the room around him seemed to cant. He’d been possessive over her since the beginning, not wanting to let her go.
And now she was going.
Pen played with a few strands of her hair that had come down from an elegant twist at the back of her neck, her other hand resting on the railing. Her red shoes had tall, spindly heels, in spite of how many times he’d asked her not to wear them.
Throughout the evening, his flared temper had died down. His thoughts, while meeting guests who were his parents’ friends more than his, kept returning to Penelope and his unborn child. His future.
Not only his future.
Theirs.
He envisioned his daughter’s birthdays. Holidays. Family vacations.
As he’d glimpsed each fractured bit, he realized it was an impermanent, if not impossible, future.
Because Penelope was backing away from him.
There was no escaping how much she’d infiltrated his life in a short period of time. Zach barely recognized himself from the man who’d smoothly followed her back to her apartment for what was supposed to be a hell of a one-night stand.
And tonight it was ending.
Pen turned and caught his gaze, only to face the city lights once again. Over his shoulder, Chase spoke, and Zach wrenched his attention away from her.
“You’ve done it, haven’t you?” Chase asked, expression serious.
Zach threw back his champagne and wished it was beer. He had a good idea of what his brother was referring to, but damned if he was about to guess.
“The pretending has become real.”
“The pretending,” Zach said, relinquishing his empty glass to a nearby table, “is about to come to an end.” At Chase’s frown, Zach explained in a low voice so no one could overhear. “The engagement is over.”
“Why?”
“Why?” Zach practically spat the word. “Weren’t you the one advising me not to get in too deep because I thought this would be ‘fun’?”
“Yes.”
Their silent standoff ended with Chase explaining.
“It’s become clear to me that she means a lot more than a good time to you. So again, I ask, why?”
Zach blinked, his brother’s stern visage blurring as Stef’s voice crackled over the speakers in the room.
“Five minutes until we learn whether I have a niece or a nephew!”
The crowd clapped, and there were a few titters of excitement.
“If you don’t know, you’d better figure it out in five minutes,” Chase recommended. Zach followed his brother’s gaze to Penelope and the world wasn’t just canting but swimming.
“If you were going to succumb to a woman—” Chase nodded his head in greeting when Pen turned to look at them “—that’d be the one to lie down for.”
“I’ve tried,” Zach mumbled through numb lips. She was the one ending it. He was the one who wanted to keep her close.
“Try harder.” One more cocky tilt of his lips and Chase was gone.
Rather than make another excuse that he had tried, Zach considered that maybe he hadn’t. That maybe a fake engagement wasn’t enough for the woman who spelled out future with a capital F.
Like the F dangling from the bracelet on her wrist.
His. Pen was still his. She needed to know that the engagement he’d thrown out as a distraction had become real for him. That was what Chase had meant when he’d told Zach to try harder.
Decisively, and damn that felt better than uncertainty, Zach slid the balcony door aside and stepped out into the heated air with his fiancée.
“Is it time?” Her tone was neutral, her body held in check. She was ready to unravel everything at that microphone, and Zach had about two minutes to stop her from doing it.
“We have to talk.”
Her fair eyebrows lifted. “Didn’t I get in trouble for saying something similar to you before?”
He didn’t break stride, reaching her in a few steps and cradling her elbow. The deep hues of a purple-and-pink sky had given way to ink-blue.
“We have to talk about the announcement,” he said, throat tight, sweat beading on his forehead, and not from the summer temperatures. He wasn’t at the mercy of his nerves—not ever. Not when he proposed to Lonna years ago, or when he proposed to his ex-wife in Vegas, but now that he was faced with proposing to Penelope, there was no other word for it.
He was nervous.
Not only did he have no idea if she’d say yes, but he was almost positive she’d say no.
He needed her not to say no.
Not just for him. For herself—for their daughter. For all of them.
“Penelope Brand.” He cleared his throat, the seriousness in his tone causing her lips to softly part. He lifted her left hand and thumbed the engagement ring he’d placed there on a whim. Or some kind of mental dare. Now that he knew her inside and out, and knowing she’d bear his first child, he knew better.
It might have started out as a whim, but now? He meant it.
“I know what we have started out as fake, but over the past several months, having you at my side, being with you day in and day out... The announcement that you were pregnant, learning we’re expecting a daughter...” He trailed off, the magnitude of what they’d shared stealing his breath. “The reality is, Penelope—” he locked his gaze on her startled one “—this isn’t fake. Not anymore.”
“Zach...”
“Let me finish.”
His eyebrows closed over his nose in concentration as the second hand rapidly ticked away precious minutes. Quickly, he reordered his thoughts. Now to deliver them in the most genuine, efficient way possible.
“We’re good together,” he told her. “Not only in the bedroom. As a unit. We’re learning our way, and I probably have further to go than you do, but we’re committed to the same important goal. Raising our child surrounded by so much love she’ll never want for anything.”
Pen’s eyes filled and she blinked. In her expression, Zach saw hope—hope that gave him the courage to continue.
“I love our daughter with a fierceness I didn’t know was possible. I care about you, Penelope. I don’t want to end what we have because your PR timeline says we should.”
Her expression blanked. He couldn’t tell if she was shocked or in agreement, or if she felt equal measures of both.
He thumbed her diamond engagement ring so that it was centered on her finger. Then he looked her dead in the eye and forced past his constricting throat, “Will you marry me? For real this time.”
In the space of one heartbeat, then two, Pen only stared. Then her lips firmed, tears streaked down her cheeks and she tugged her hand away from his.
* * *
Pen swiped her tears away almost angrily as the city melted in her watery vision. She sucked in a gulp of air, calling upon her very strong constitution for assistance. Her heart was cracked when she’d arrived.
Zach had just shattered it.
He moved to comfort her instantly, his wide, warm hands on her hips, strong chest flanking her back.
“Pen. I know how this sounds. I know you think it’s too late...”
But that wasn’t it. This wasn’t about timing.
I love our daughter. I care about you.
He couldn’t have been any clearer about the division of his feelings—about the clearly marked boundary lines—during his proposal.
She’d believed when he’d started his speech that miraculously, she’d broken through. That during the course of this party, Zach had seen the light.
I love our daughter. I care about you.
His was a marriage proposal of convenience the first time, and now it was one of merged interests. It hadn’t come from his heart and soul. A long time ago she’d convinced herself she didn’t need romantic love. But now that she was looking at Zach, her heart twisting like a wrung-out cloth, she was certain about two things.
One, she loved him, and two, she refused to enter a marriage where Zach was only half in.
He might never leave her, cheat on her, or abandon her, but he also wouldn’t ever love her the way she deserved to be loved.
And she deserved love.
He stood behind her, his breath on her ear when he bent forward. “I know I’m springing this on you, but this is the best plan. We can have each other, have our daughter, have our lives together.”
She closed her eyes against the surge of longing in her chest. There was a part of her, and it wasn’t small, that wanted to turn in the circle of his arms and say yes. Give in to the idea that Zach might someday love her the way she loved him.
But that was a fairy tale. Her life wasn’t glass slippers and godmothers. It was pumpkins and practicality.
She turned and faced him, shoulders back, chin tipped to take in his handsome face, and spoke in her most practical voice. “We can’t be this selfish because we like to have sex, Zach.”
His head jerked on his neck like she’d slapped him instead of spoken.
“What the hell’s that supposed to mean?” he bit out.
“It means exactly what I said. We have a child to think about.”
“A child who needs both of her parents around,” he said, his voice escalating, “not one at a time at prearranged intervals.”
“Our child needs parents who love her and love each other. If we can’t fulfill both of those bare minimums, then we have nothing more to talk about.”
“Marriage isn’t good enough for you?” Zach’s cheeks reddened. “Marriage and sex isn’t good enough for you?” His voice was measured and low, but anger outlined every word.
“Is it good enough for you?”
“Marriage and sex and you? Damn straight it’s good enough. What more do you want from me, Penelope?”
She parted her lips to tell him there was so, so much more to want. So much more to marriage apart from sex and sharing a house. She and Zach could be so much more than parents. What about when their daughter was raised and out of the house? What about Penelope’s own life beyond being a mother? What about that deep, committed love she’d seen in her parents’ lives? Didn’t he want that?
“The original agreement was to untangle these knots before our baby was born. And that’s what we’re doing.” She started for the balcony door, but Zach caught her upper arm and tugged her back.
In his face, she saw a plethora of emotion. Pain. Fear. Anger. Hope.
As per his usual, he went with his standby: demanding.
“I can’t let you do that. I’m far from done exploring what we have. Sharing what we’ve built.”
She shook out of his grip. “What we have is built on a lie and an accident!”
The moment she lifted her voice to shout the accusation, his eyes slid over her shoulder and the sound of low, casual chatter filtered out onto the balcony.
Reason being, Stefanie Ferguson stood at the threshold to the balcony, door open wide. Her eyes welled with unshed tears, betrayal radiating off her strong, petite form.
“Stefanie,” Pen started, but Stef steeled her spine and looked, not to Penelope, but to Zach for answers.
“Is that true?” Stef asked him.
Behind her, onlookers peered out, eyebrows raised, mouths forming Os of curiosity. Stef shut the door behind her and stepped onto the patio, crossing her arms over her midsection.
“What lie?” she asked.
“Stef,” Pen tried again, but the younger woman stood in front of her brother. Zach, who’d released Pen the moment Stefanie appeared, shoved his hands into his pockets.
“Penelope and I are discussing something very important. Go inside and we’ll be in soon.”
“Tell me what lie and I’ll leave you to it,” Stef said.
“I said—”
“The engagement isn’t real,” Pen blurted. Zach’s jaw clenched and he shot Pen a look showcasing both his outrage and feelings of betrayal. Well, too bad. She felt betrayed, too.
Pen took her eyes off him to comfort her almost-future-sister-in-law, who looked thoroughly heartbroken.
“Zach made up the engagement when Yvonne interrupted Chase’s birthday party,” Pen said softly. “He needed a distraction.”
“And you agreed.” Stef’s voice was steel, similar to the tone her brother had used many times before.
“I agreed to help him, yes.” Pen thrust her chin forward. She hadn’t done anything wrong.
“And the pregnancy?” Mortification colored Stef’s features as she swept her eyes to Pen’s belly. “Is it real?”
“Yes.” Pen let out a gusty sigh. “God. Yes, Stefanie. I’d never lie about that. I was pregnant the night of Chase’s birthday party, but didn’t know it.”
Stef’s sigh of relief was short-lived. “You lied to me.” She swung her gaze from Pen to include Zach. “Both of you.”
“It started out as a lie to distract from Yvonne, yes,” Zach said. “But things between Pen and me have developed since then.” He fastened his eyes on Penelope, but spoke to his sister. “I proposed to Pen right before you walked out here.”
The warm breeze lifted Stefanie’s bangs from her forehead. She tightened her arms around her middle and shook her head.
“I don’t think your proposal went over well.” Stef backed to the door. “I came out here to tell you we’re ready for the announcement about the baby...” Inside a sea of curious faces studied the scene beyond the wide windows. Pen and Zach and Stef must look like a dramatic silent movie from their guests’ vantage point. “Now it seems you owe your guests an explanation.
“Tell them the truth, Zach,” Stef said. “It’s the least you could’ve done for me.” She pulled open the door but before she went inside, skewered Pen with, “I expected it from him. Not from you.”
Once she was inside, Chase pushed out the door next and angled his head at his brother.
“Excuse me.” Penelope bumped past Chase’s suited arm and darted through the crowd. Zach called her name, but when she peeked over her shoulder, Chase was blocking the door and giving advice she knew Zach didn’t want to hear.
“Let her go.”